You Don't Have the Right
by InvisiMeg
Summary: After being convinced to go to her five year reunion, Rachel has to face her past, including someone she hoped she'd never have to see again.
1. All That's Waiting Is Regret

**And here's the second of my new stories. Enjoy… **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

**Chapter 1 – All That's Waiting Is Regret**

Rachel sighed as her phone began ringing again. She knew it was Kurt calling again, and she didn't have to answer to know what he was calling about. Because it was the same thing he'd been bugging her about for the past month. Unfortunately, her friend was not the type to give up easily or take 'no' for an answer. So, reluctantly, she reached out for her phone, staring at the screen for a few moments before finally accepting the call.

"Hello," she said.

"I see you decided to stop ignoring me," Kurt replied in lieu of a greeting.

"I wasn't ignoring you," Rachel lied. "I was out on the balcony."

"Uh huh," Kurt said in a tone that told her he didn't believe her. "What were you doing on the balcony?"

"Reading," Rachel replied. "It's a nice day out, so I thought I would enjoy it."

Rachel looked out the window at the cloudy, rainy sky and shook her head at herself, wishing she would have come up with a better lie. Knowing Kurt, he was probably already checking the weather forecast for New York.

"Isn't it supposed to rain there today?" Kurt asked.

"Maybe, but it's nice right now," Rachel lied again. "Anyway, is there something in particular you were calling about?"

Even though she knew exactly what he was calling about, she was hoping to distract him from her lie. Although, she would almost rather continue with their current conversation.

"I was just wondering if you'd changed your mind," Kurt replied.

"I haven't, no," Rachel said.

Kurt huffed. "Rachel!"

"I'm not going," she firmly replied.

"Why not?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed and shook her head. He kept asking why she didn't want to go, but she'd never given him an actual answer, and she wasn't going to. She had her reasons; reasons he didn't need to know.

"Does it matter?" Rachel asked back after several moments of silence passed by.

"It's our five year reunion," Kurt stated. "It's an important milestone, and you're all about important events, so why don't you want to go to this one?"

"It's complicated," Rachel replied.

"How complicated can it be?" Kurt asked. "I know high school wasn't the best for either of us, but the rest of the Glee Club is going to be there. It'll be the first time we've all been together since graduation. Don't you want to see your friends?"

"Everyone is going to be there?" Rachel asked.

"As far as I know," Kurt replied. "I talked to Tina yesterday; she said she's talked to everyone."

Rachel sighed. "I don't know, Kurt."

"You haven't been to Lima in two years," Kurt said. "I'm sure your fathers would love to see you, and I know your best friend really wants to see you."

Rachel smiled. "It's not that I don't miss you and my dads—"

"So what's the problem?" Kurt asked. "I know Finn's really looking forward to it, and he isn't going to have as much fun if you're not there."

Rachel looked down at the mention of her fiancé. He was definitely looking forward to it; he'd been talking about the reunion since they got their invitations. As much as Kurt had been bugging her about going, Finn had been even worse. She knew how much he wanted her to go with him, but Rachel was still reluctant.

"I'm sure you would only be at the reunion for a few hours," Kurt added. "You can spend the rest of the time with your fathers and, more importantly, me."

Rachel began fidgeting with the hem of her skirt as she thought about what Kurt was saying It would be nice to see her fathers, and she would love to see most of the other former New Directions members, some of whom she hadn't seen in nearly five years.

"Are you ever going to tell me why you don't want to go?" Kurt asked.

"I told you—"

"It's complicated; I know," he said, and Rachel could imagine he was probably rolling his eyes. "But what's so complicated? Your friends are going to be there, you'll get to see your fathers, and you'll be making Finn happy. Not to mention you'd be making your best friend the happiest guy on the planet."

"Kurt—"

"You could at least tell me why you don't want to come to the reunion," Kurt interrupted. "Because I don't get it."

Rachel opened her mouth for a moment and then closed it, furrowing her brows. She really didn't know what to say to him; she meant it when she said it was complicated. And Kurt may be her best friend in the world, but she really didn't want to talk to him about it. She didn't even know if he would understand.

"Rachel, what is going on?" Kurt asked.

"It's nothing," Rachel lied.

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked. "Because you talk about everything, and the fact that you're not talking about it says a lot."

"Really, it's nothing," Rachel replied.

"If you're sure," Kurt said.

"I am," Rachel stated.

"Well, then, if it's nothing, will you come to the reunion?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed. "I'll think about it."

"Perfect," Kurt replied, and Rachel could practically hear his smug smile.

"I didn't say yes," Rachel said.

"That doesn't mean you won't," Kurt replied.

Rachel shook her head. "I should go; Finn is going to be home soon and I told him I'd pick up dinner."

"Tell my brother I say 'hello'," Kurt replied. "I'll call you tomorrow. That is if you'll answer."

"Goodbye, Kurt," Rachel said.

Rachel dropped her arm and stared at her phone for a moment as the call ended. She still had no intention of going to the reunion, but she figured she could at least think about it. She knew Kurt would be thrilled, and it would certainly make Finn happy. She just didn't know if making everyone else happy was worth her unhappiness.

* * *

"Rachel?"

"I'm in here!" she called from the bathroom.

Rachel paused brushing her hair and took a deep breath, slowly releasing it. After a moment, she could hear Finn's steps on the hardwood floor, and she took several more deep breaths as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Since talking to Kurt, she'd been feeling anxious, and no matter what she did, it wasn't going away.

"Hey," Finn greeted her.

"Hi," Rachel said, putting on a smile as she turned around. "How was work?"

She knew her smile looked forced, but she figured Finn would never notice. He wasn't the most perceptive, which sometimes bothered her, but it also had its benefits.

"It kinda sucked," Finn answered with a shrug. "They had me unloading the truck."

"I thought the truck usually came overnight," Rachel said.

"It does, but it was late," Finn replied. "So me and Josh had to do it."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, wrapping her arms around Finn. "If you'd like, I'll give you a massage later."

"Yeah," Finn replied, smiling down at her.

"Dinner should be here any moment," Rachel said. "They said forty-five minutes and it's been almost an hour."

"What did you get?" Finn asked as he pulled his shirt off and threw it on the floor.

"I ordered pizza," Rachel answered, bending over to pick up Finn's shirt. "I hope you don't mind."

"Nah, that's fine," Finn said, turning the shower on. "Did you order any wings?"

"I did,' Rachel replied, walking into the bedroom, and tossing Finn's shirt into the hamper. "The spicy ones."

"Awesome," Finn said, smiling. "I'll just be a sec."

Rachel walked back into the bathroom to pick up the rest of Finn's clothes, and then walked into the bedroom, tossing them in with Finn's shirt. She then looking around the bedroom and picked up a few other stray pieces of clothing, throwing them into the hamper as well. Just as she began straightening up the bed, she heard the water shut off, and Finn called out, "Can you grab me a towel? I forgot you washed them all."

"Hold on," Rachel said, walking over to the neatly folded towels that were still sitting in the laundry basket.

When she walked into the bathroom, Finn was standing there looking around the shower curtain, dripping water onto the floor. Rachel could only shake her head as she watched him. They'd been living together for three years, so she knew there was no point in saying anything. He didn't mind living in a messy apartment, but it drove Rachel crazy. No matter how many times she asked him to pick up after himself, nothing changed. He would always say he'd do it later, so she gave up trying and began doing it herself.

"Here," Rachel said, holding the towel out.

Finn gave her a smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Rachel replied, leaning forward, and kissing her fiancé.

"Is the food here yet?" Finn asked as he began drying off.

"No, and if they don't arrive soon, I'm going to have to call the restaurant to complain," Rachel said before walking back into the bedroom.

"So, what'd you do today?" Finn asked. "Did you go look at a new bed like you were talking about?"

"No," Rachel said. "I forgot, actually. Oh, Kurt asked me to tell you 'hello'."

"He called?" Finn asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "He wanted to ask me about the reunion again."

"What did you tell him?" Finn asked.

Rachel hesitated for a moment before saying, "I told him I would think about it."

"Really?" Finn asked, walking out of the bathroom with the towel around his waist.

"Yes," Rachel said, sitting on the bed, staring down at the floor.

"That's awesome!" Finn replied. "Look, I know you don't want to go, but it'll be a lot of fun. You'll get to see everyone again, and you haven't been home in forever. I get that you had to work last time, but you can take off for a few days this time."

Rachel sighed. "I know, but—I just don't know if I want to go."

"Why not?" Finn asked. "Everyone wants you to come. Even Puck's been asking if you're coming. Everyone's excited about it and I really don't want to have to go without you." He shrugged. "It won't be as fun if you're not there."

Rachel looked up at Finn for a few moments before looking away. He had asked her several times why she didn't want to go, but she'd avoided the question like she had with Kurt. She didn't know if her best friend would understand, but she was certain Finn wouldn't. Not only would he not understand, but it would just upset him, and she didn't want that. They were happy and dredging up things from high school would only destroy that happiness.

"Okay," Rachel quietly said.

"Okay?" Finn repeated.

"Okay, I'll go," Rachel relented.

"Seriously?" Finn asked, smiling.

"Yes," Rachel said, trying her best to smile back. "I'll go to the reunion. You and Kurt are both right; it's going to be fun. Everyone is going to be there, and I wouldn't want to miss seeing them. And I'll get to visit my fathers, and I haven't seen your family in a while, so that'll be nice."

"You won't regret it, Rach," Finn replied. "It'll be great. I promise."

Rachel nodded just as the doorbell rang. "That'll be the pizza."

Rachel stood up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom. As she walked into the living room, she looked over her shoulder at Finn and let out a long sigh. She couldn't help feeling like she'd just made a huge mistake. She'd told herself she wouldn't go to the reunion no matter what happened, but now there was no going back. Now she could only hope Kurt was wrong and that not everyone was going to be there.

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**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. My Little Town

**Chapter 2 – My Little Town**

"Where's the game place?" Finn asked.

"What?" Rachel asked, looking over at him.

"The place I always bought my video games at isn't there," Finn said, pointing.

"Oh," Rachel said as she followed his gaze. "Yeah, Daddy said it burned down a few months ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn asked.

"I forgot," Rachel replied. "I'm sorry."

Finn frowned. "That sucks; I always liked going there. The guy who owned it was really cool. Sometimes he'd give me discounts on the games because I bought so many."

"Maybe he relocated," Rachel replied.

"Yeah, maybe," Finn said.

Rachel looked out the window for a minute or two longer and then she averted her eyes, looking down at her hands. She hadn't visited Lima for two years and it felt strange being there. It didn't feel like home to her—not that it really ever had—and she felt out of place being there again.

Growing up in Lima, she'd always dreamed of moving to New York City, a place where she wouldn't feel so different. Being Jewish and having two fathers had made her an easy target throughout school. She couldn't remember a week that went by where she wasn't taunted in one way or another for being different. From her first day of kindergarten to the day she graduated high school, she was reminded by others of just how much she didn't fit in Lima.

As much as it hurt, she was also thankful for it in a way. It had made her decision to leave Lima that much easier. Other than her fathers, there was really nothing there for her. Nothing but hurtful memories and a dead-end future. She knew she was destined for much more than that, though. So, right after graduation, she'd packed up her things and moved into an apartment her fathers had leased for her.

"You okay?" Finn asked.

Rachel hummed and looked over at Finn. "Oh, yes, I'm fine."

"You've been, like, really quiet the whole time," Finn said. "Actually, you've been kinda quiet all week, which is weird for you."

"It's work," Rachel lied. "Stephanie is thinking about leaving the production."

"That's good, right?" Finn asked.

"Yes, it is," Rachel replied. "But that means I have to make sure I'm perfect every night if they're going to consider me for her replacement."

Rachel wasn't lying about the lead in the show she was working on leaving, but she wasn't concerned about it. She was a perfectionist by nature, so she always did her best every night. She didn't want Finn to worry about her, though, so she knew she needed to say something, and he would understand work stress.

"You'll get it," Finn said with a smile. "You're awesome."

"I hope so," Rachel replied.

She'd worked hard for the past year, starting in the ensemble and moving up to a more substantial role, as well as being Stephanie's understudy. She was confident that they would make the right choice and offer her the role if Stephanie were to leave, but that was a big if. She'd only confided in Rachel because they were friends and she knew how much Rachel wanted it.

"Look, there's the school," Finn said with a lopsided smile.

"Yeah," Rachel absentmindedly replied.

"It'll be so awesome to be back there again, won't it?" Finn asked.

Rachel remained silent. She certainly wasn't looking forward to being at McKinley High again, but she didn't want to put a damper on Finn's excitement. He'd been talking about almost nothing else for the past few months, and she didn't want to ruin it for him. She may have had a less than ideal high school experience, but Finn was a different matter. He was the quarterback of the football team, captain of the basketball team, co-captain of the Glee Club, homecoming king, and prom king. He was popular and everything else Rachel wasn't but wanted to be.

"I hope Mr. Schue's at the reunion," Finn commented. "We haven't seen him in forever."

"I'm sure he will," Rachel replied.

"I talked to Puck this morning when you were in the shower," Finn said. "He asked if we wanna come over to his place tonight."

"I would, but I told my fathers we would have some father-daughter time tonight," Rachel replied.

Finn nodded. "I kinda figured, but I thought I'd check. I think Sam's gonna be there and he said Mike might come over."

"How is Noah doing?" Rachel wondered.

"He's okay," Finn replied with a shrug. "I think he's a dishwasher at Breadstix or something. He was doing his pool cleaning business, but I guess it wasn't working out."

"Well, tell them all that I said hello and I look forward to seeing them on Saturday," Rachel said.

"I will," Finn replied, reaching over, and taking her hand. "It's too bad you can't tell them yourself, though."

"I know, but I did promise my fathers," Rachel said.

Truthfully, she was okay with not going with Finn. She was never very close to Puck, Sam, or Mike even though they were all friends of Finn's. Really, Rachel wasn't very close with many of the people she had gone to school with. There was Kurt, who was her best friend, but other than him, the only two people she'd been in touch with at all since leaving Ohio were Mercedes and Tina, and she certainly wouldn't consider either of them a friend.

"Are you excited?" Finn asked. "We're almost there."

"Of course," Rachel answered. "It's been far too long since I last saw my fathers."

"What about Saturday?" Finn asked. "You seem kinda weird about it."

"Weird how?" Rachel asked, though she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I dunno," Finn shrugged, "you've just been a little strange."

"I'm fine, Finn," Rachel said, turning her hand over, and squeezing his. "I promise."

"Good," Finn said, smiling at her. "Because this weekend is gonna be great. You'll see."

Rachel smiled back. "I'm sure you're right."

Rachel turned and looked out her window again. She really did hope Finn was right and that the feeling of dread she'd been experiencing for the last week was for nothing.

* * *

"She's here!" Rachel heard from inside the house before she even reached the door.

Rachel laughed lightly and shook her head, looking back at Finn. A moment later, before she could even turn back around, the door flew open and she was enveloped in a tight hug. She wasn't sure if it was Leroy or Hiram, but a few seconds later, she felt another pair of arms wrap around her, and she knew both of her fathers were there.

"We're so happy you're here," Hiram said.

"Really? I couldn't tell," Rachel joked.

"Hello, Finn," Leroy said, and Rachel was released from one pair of arms.

"Hey, Mr. Berry," Finn greeted.

"How many times do I have to ask you to call me Leroy?" he asked. "You're engaged to our daughter, after all."

"Sorry," Finn replied, and Rachel could practically hear his sheepish smile.

"Honey, you may want to let her go," Leroy said.

Hiram sighed before releasing her, and Rachel smiled widely, giving both of her fathers another hug. She'd missed them as much as they seemed to have missed her, and even though she'd been reluctant to come, she was happy she got to see them. Although, it definitely would have been better if they could have come to New York instead of her having to go to Ohio.

"I should go," Finn said, setting down Rachel's suitcase. "I told my mom I was dropping you off and I'd be there in a few minutes."

"Have fun tonight," Rachel said, leaning up, and kissing him. "Tell everyone I said hello, and give Carole a hug from me."

"I will," Finn replied, kissing Rachel again. "You're coming by tomorrow morning, right?"

"Yes, I will be there for brunch," Rachel answered.

"I'll try to call you tonight," Finn said. "I don't really know how late I'll be over at Puck's."

"It's okay if you don't," Rachel replied. "I'm sure I'll be busy with my fathers, so if you don't, I love you and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," Finn said with a smile. "I love you, too."

Finn leaned down, giving Rachel a quick kiss, and then nodding toward her fathers. As he turned and began walking away, Rachel pulled the handle of her suitcase up and began rolling it toward the house, where her fathers were waiting on the doorstep.

"How was the trip?" Leroy asked as she approached.

"Long," Rachel replied. "Our flight was delayed a bit and then when we tried to get our rental car, there was some kind of mix up, so we had to get that fixed."

"I wish we could have picked you up," Hiram remarked.

"It's fine," Rachel replied as she set her bag in the foyer. "I know it's difficult to miss work on such short notice."

"What made you change your mind about the reunion?" Leroy asked.

Rachel shrugged. "Finn really wanted me to attend, and of course Kurt's been asking me about it every time we spoke. I knew it would make both of them happy if I went, so I decided to go."

"I have to say, we were a little surprised when you said you weren't going," Hiram replied.

"We know high school wasn't always great for you, but we know how much you love reunions," Leroy said. "The Annual Berry Family Reunion was always your favorite part about summer."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh at the memory as she and her fathers walked into the living room. "I certainly did love attending those. Although, it may have had something to do with the karaoke, and you know how much I love having an audience."

"Oh, we know," Leroy said, laughing.

"When you were two, you made us set up your first stage," Hiram added.

Rachel smiled, sitting down on the couch between her fathers. "I guess I've always known I was destined for the stage."

"Speaking of which, how is work?" Leroy asked.

"Well, I just found out the other day that Stephanie is thinking of leaving, but she hasn't made any decisions yet," Rachel said. "I'm trying to not get my hopes up too much. She may decide she wants to stay, and even if she does leave the production, there's no guarantee they will give me the role. Although, I would be perfect for it; I already know every line and every bit of the choreography, and they would be crazy to choose anyone else."

"I'm sure you'll get it," Hiram said, patting her knee.

"You always say that," Rachel pointed out.

"That's because I always believe it," Hiram replied. "As you said, they would be crazy not to give it to you."

"Is there something different about the living room," Rachel asked, suddenly noticing something felt off.

"We repainted it last month," Hiram said.

"But it's the exact same color," Leroy added.

"Is it the pictures?" Hiram asked. "I think we may have changed a few since the last time you were here."

"Maybe that's it," Rachel said, standing from the couch, and walking over to the wall that contained all the framed photos.

As Rachel looked at all the photos, a small smile appeared on her face. There was one of her and Finn from their graduation. They had broken up a few days later and she had moved to New York not long after. She found it hard to believe that the picture was taken five years ago.

"I think we added the graduation photo and the one from Nationals," Leroy said.

Rachel looked over to the other photo Leroy was referring to. It was taken right after their win at Nationals and all of the Glee Club was in it. As far as she knew, it was one of the few pictures she had of the whole club. Her eyes slowly drifted from one face to another, but after a moment, she looked away.

"I think I'm going to take a quick nap," Rachel said, turning around to look at her fathers.

"How about we order dinner and we'll wake you when it's here?" Leroy suggested.

"That sounds perfect," Rachel said with a nod.

* * *

"Rachel?" Leroy said, knocking on her door.

Rachel sat up and looked at the clock with a slight frown. "Is dinner already here?"

She had only been lying down for ten minutes, and she couldn't imagine anyone delivering that quickly. Unless she was wrong about when she came upstairs, but she was fairly certain about it.

"No, but something else is here," Leroy replied.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Me!" Kurt answered, opening the door with a smile.

"Kurt!" Rachel said in surprise. "Oh my goodness!"

Rachel quickly climbed out of bed and threw herself into Kurt's open arms. She hadn't seen her best friend in eight months, though they talked regularly on the phone, but it wasn't the same as having him there. It was especially difficult because she'd gotten used to always having him there when she needed him. They had lived together for four years, but then his father had gotten sick, and Kurt decided to move back to Lima just after graduating from NYADA.

"I didn't think I'd see you until tomorrow," Rachel said, backing up, and sitting on her bed.

"As soon as Carole told me you were here, I thought I would come over," Kurt said, shrugging as he sat next to her.

"Well, you certainly surprised me," Rachel replied with a smile before wrapping her arms around him, pulling him into another hug. "I'm so happy you're here."

"Is everything okay?" Kurt asked.

"Of course," Rachel said, pulling away. "I just—I've missed you."

Kurt pulled back and looked at her with a mixture of skepticism and scrutiny. "Do you forget who you're talking to? What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Rachel, I know you," Kurt replied. "And I know when something is bothering you."

Rachel looked down at her hands with a sigh. "It's nothing to worry about."

"So there is something," Kurt said.

"As I already said, it's nothing to worry about," Rachel repeated.

"And I don't believe you," Kurt replied. "If you don't want to talk about it, then it must be something big. The last time you said something was nothing, you thought you were pregnant."

"Can we not talk about that unfortunate incident?" Rachel asked.

She didn't think she'd ever been so scared in her life as when she thought she may be pregnant. Thankfully, it had been a false alarm, but for nearly a week she'd been worried that all her dreams were going to come crashing down. It had been a terrifying experience; one she didn't like to think about and made sure never happened again.

"Did you cheat on Finn?" Kurt asked.

Rachel scoffed. "No! Of course not! I love Finn."

"Then what is going on?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed; she really didn't want to talk about it, but she knew Kurt would never give up. It was one of the things she both loved and hated about him. She wasn't the type to keep things in, so it was nice to have someone who would make her talk about things, but when she really didn't want to discuss something, it was an annoyance.

"It's just this reunion," Rachel finally admitted.

Kurt's eyebrow rose. "What about it?"

"I'm having second thought about attending," Rachel replied. "As much as I want to see some of the people we graduated with, there are also a few individuals that I would rather not see."

"Santana," Kurt said. "Quinn."

Rachel looked away. "Yes."

"That's why you don't want to go?" Kurt asked.

"I knew you would think I was being dramatic, which is why I didn't tell you," Rachel replied.

"When are you not dramatic?" Kurt asked, nudging her shoulder with his. "And I'm not exactly looking forward to seeing Blaine, but I'm not going to let that stop me from going and having fun. At least you don't have to be in the same room with someone who broke your heart."

"Yeah," Rachel softly said. "Are you even sure Blaine is going to be there?"

"I assume so," Kurt replied. "Tina has talked to everyone, and she said they're all going."

"Everyone?" Rachel asked.

"Unless someone changed their mind, you were the only holdout," Kurt said.

Rachel nodded but didn't say anything as she stared at the off-white carpet in her room. She didn't understand how Kurt could be so excited about the reunion when he was going to have to see Blaine. She was there for the aftermath when Blaine cheated on him and then tried to blame it on him for following his dreams.

"How do you do it?" Rachel quietly asked after a while. "How do you be in the same room with him?"

"It's been five years," Kurt stated. "You have to get over it eventually." Kurt shrugged. "Or at least not let it control you. I don't know if I'll ever be over what he did to me, but I refuse to let it control me now. Why are you asking, anyway?"

"I was just curious," Rachel replied. "And if you decide it's going to be too hard for you—"

"You're not talking me out of going," Kurt interrupted. "I may not want to see Blaine, but I can't wait to see the rest of my friends. I haven't seen Mercedes and Tina since Christmas, and it's been even longer with a lot of the others. I can't even remember the last time I saw Mike or Artie."

"I think the last time I saw them was graduation," Rachel said.

"Which is why you need to go Saturday," Kurt replied.

I suppose," Rachel said with a sigh.

"And nothing says you have to talk to certain people if you don't want to," Kurt added. "It's not like they're going to start throwing out insults like in high school. Well, maybe Santana." He looked over at her. "Promise me you'll go."

Rachel hesitated for a moment, but then slowly nodded her head and said, "I'll go."

"Good," Kurt replied with a triumphant smile. "Now, I want to hear everything that's been going on in your life, and I want you to spare no details. I miss New York and I want to live vicariously."

* * *

"Yahtzee!" Hiram said, throwing his hands up.

Rachel scoffed. "You cheated!"

"How did I cheat, my dear daughter?" Hiram asked.

"I don't know, but I'm sure you did," Rachel said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're just angry I'm going to win," Hiram replied.

Leroy shook his head. "Can we just get this game over with?" He looked over at Rachel. "Without any more accusations of cheating,"

"Fine," Rachel said with a huff.

Rachel picked up the dice and took her turn before handing them over to Leroy. Thankfully, they were nearly done with the game, so she wouldn't have to endure much more of her father's cheating. Not that she could ever prove he was doing it; he was far too good at it for that. She knew he had to be, though; no one rolls five twos on their very first try without cheating in one way or another.

"Okay, everyone add up yours scores," Hiram said after his next turn.

"I think we already know who won," Rachel replied.

"Maybe, but I would like to make it official," Hiram said.

Rachel narrowed her eyes slightly and then looked down at her score sheet, adding up everything before tossing it onto the table. She already knew Hiram had won, so it was no surprise when he was declared the winner. Soon after, Rachel said goodnight to her fathers and made her way up to her room.

As soon as the door was closed behind her, Rachel walked over to her suitcase and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She changed out of her skirt and top and put on her sleepwear with a sigh. She always had trouble sleeping her first night back in Lima and she knew she had a restless night ahead of her. She didn't really know why, but there was something about being back there that just made it impossible for her to sleep. Maybe it was the change in bed or the fact that it was so quiet compared to New York, but whatever it was, it was frustrating and she always woke up a little cranky.

Rachel sloppily folded up her dirty clothes and put them in a bag, which she walked over and sat next to the dresser, where she wouldn't forget to take them home. As she turned to walk into the bathroom, something out of the corner caught her eye. Her fathers had obviously cleaned her room in her absence because the box under her bed was sticking out much more than when she had left it. For a moment she wondered if her fathers had opened it, but she knew they'd always respected her privacy so it was doubtful.

She turned and began walking toward the bathroom again, but stopped after a moment and looked at the box once more. She hadn't opened it in three years and part of her wanted to go over and look in it like she had so many times in the past. The other part was screaming at her not to do it, though.

Shaking her head, she walked into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. As she let the water run to get hot, she looked up and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were slightly glassy and there was a hint of darkness under her eyes that wasn't usually there. She hadn't been sleeping very well for the past week or two; not since she'd told Finn she would come with him to the reunion. And what sleep she did get was restless and filled with dreams about high school and other things she really didn't want to be experiencing again.

Rachel checked to see if the water was warm, but instead of picking up her toothbrush, she took a deep breath and then turned off the water. Turning, she walked back into the bedroom and over to the bed, where she knelt down and pulled the box the rest of the way out. She hesitated as she looked down at the plain cardboard box, but after a few minutes, she finally picked it up and set it on the bed. After looking at it for several more minutes, she began opening the box but stopped, swallowing thickly. A second later, she picked up the box and shoved it back under the bed, pushing it toward the middle of the bed where she could no longer see it.

She sat back down on her bed and put her face in her hands for a few moments before running them through her hair. As she sat there, her eyes drifted over to her yearbook. The last time she'd visited, she'd debated whether or not she should take it with her to New York, but she'd eventually decided against it and set it on the nightstand at the last moment.

Before she could rethink it, she reached over and picked up the yearbook, setting it in her lap. She ran her hand over the red and black cover, tracing the '2012' with her finger. With a sigh, she opened the book and found herself looking at one of the many pictures of the Cheerios. On the left side was a picture of the senior members of the cheerleading squad with Quinn, Santana, and Brittany front and center, and on the right was one of Quinn with Coach Sylvester.

"Why did I come here?" Rachel whispered to herself as she closed the yearbook and set it back on the nightstand.

She stood from the bed and walked back into the bathroom. And as put the toothpaste on her toothbrush and quickly ran it under the hot water, she tried to forget that the reunion was in two days, where she would come face to face with Quinn Fabray. She hadn't seen the other woman in five years, and she certainly wasn't looking forward to the thought of seeing her again.


	3. Surprise

**Chapter 3 – Surprise**

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Rachel asked, looking over at Finn.

"You'll see really soon," Finn said, smiling over at her.

Rachel softly sighed and leaned her head against the window. She really wasn't in the mood for surprises, but Finn was refusing to tell her where they were going. She was supposed to be spending the evening with her fathers, but then Finn had shown up and asked her to come with him. She'd already spent most of the morning at the Hudson-Hummel household and would have really liked to have spent some more time with her fathers, but he'd looked so excited that she didn't have the heart to tell him no.

"You okay?" Finn asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel automatically replied.

"Are you sure?" Finn asked.

It seemed to be a very popular question over the last few weeks. Every time he asked the question—or her cast mates or her fathers or Kurt—Rachel would say she was fine. She really didn't know what she was at the moment, but she didn't want anyone worrying about her. She had enough on her mind as it was, and she didn't need to add other people's worries to it. But even if everyone wasn't convinced, she was just going to keep saying the same thing: I'm fine. Maybe if she said it enough, she would finally convince everyone that she really was fine.

"I'm positive," Rachel replied.

She looked over and smiled at her fiancé, but he still didn't look convinced. Finn was the last person she wanted worrying about her, though. Unfortunately, even if he wasn't the most observant person in the world, he knew her better than just about anyone, and he could usually tell when something was truly bothering her.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Finn asked after a few moments.

"There's nothing to talk about, Finn," Rachel replied.

Finn frowned. "I know you say you're fine, but—"

"That's because I am fine," Rachel lied, interrupting him.

"Look, I don't want to fight or anything," Finn said, glancing over at her. "This weekend is supposed to be fun, but, like, I'm worried about you. You haven't really been yourself the last few days"

Rachel sighed; it felt like they'd had this same conversation a dozen times over the past week. "There's no need to worry, Finn. I've just had a lot on my mind with work and coming here, but it's really nothing to worry about. You know I would talk to you if anything was really wrong."

"I guess," Finn said, frowning again. "I just don't get why you're not more excited about seeing everyone. I mean, I know high school wasn't your favorite time or anything, but you're going to see all your friends again." He shrugged. "You loved being in Glee Club."

"I did," Rachel replied, looking down.

"Then why aren't you happier?" Finn asked.

"I am, happy," Rachel replied. "I suppose I'm just nervous about seeing everyone again. After all, it has been five years; we're practically like strangers now."

"Maybe it will be weird, but I think it'll be like no time's gone by, you know?" Finn said. "Like graduation was just a few months ago and we're getting back from summer break."

"I hope you're right," Rachel replied.

"You'll see," Finn said, smiling.

Rachel watched Finn out of the corner of her eye; he was fidgeting a lot more than usual and was drumming his fingers against the steering wheel despite the fact that no music was playing, both telltale signs that he was nervous.

"Finn," Rachel firmly said. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see in a sec," Finn replied. "We're almost there."

"I demand to know where we're going," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips the best she could considering she was sitting in a vehicle.

Finn flinched slightly at her tone of voice. "I want it to be a surprise."

"Finn—"

"Look, we're here," Finn said, putting on his turn signal, and pulling into the Breadstix parking lot.

"Oh," Rachel replied, feeling a little foolish. "I apologize."

Although she hadn't been to Breadstix in years, she wouldn't consider it much of a surprise. It was Finn's favorite restaurant and they'd gone there on just about every date they had while in Lima, but it wasn't her favorite place. In fact, she really didn't like it at all. There were only two vegan friendly options on the menu—both salads—so she'd gotten rather tired of eating at the place. Now that she'd gone from a vegan to a vegetarian diet, she supposed she would have a few more options, but she would still rather eat at just about any other non-fast-food restaurant in town.

"It's okay," Finn said, shrugging. "You're a little stressed right now, and I know how you can get when you're like that."

Finn drove around, looking for a place to park, but the parking lot was full. She didn't ever remember it being quite that crowded, and she was secretly hoping it would make Finn change his mind about eating there.

"It's packed," Finn said.

"Well, it is Friday night," Rachel remarked. "If you recall, there really isn't a lot to do in Lima, and I imagine a lot of people bring their dates here since it is one of the slightly nicer restaurants around. Maybe we could eat someone else since—"

"They're pulling out!" Finn said, slowing down to wait for a van that was backing out of a parking spot.

When Finn pulled in and put the truck in park, Rachel unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door, stepping down onto the pavement. And as Finn closed his door, she looked over at him and decided to just enjoy the evening. It wasn't her favorite restaurant, but she was with the guy she loved and that's really all that matters.

"Wow, there's a lot of people here," Finn commented as they walked through the front door and had to weave their way between people who were waiting for a table.

"Table for two?" the hostess asked as they neared the counter.

"Actually, we're with them over there," Finn said, pointing across the room, and then glancing down at Rachel.

As her eyes drifted over to where he had pointed, she found her heart rate picking up. On the other side of the room was what looked like nearly everyone she had been in Glee Club with. She certainly wasn't prepared for this, but she couldn't exactly run away, so she put on a fake smile as Finn led her over to the table.

* * *

Rachel couldn't help but laugh as Kurt animatedly told the story of the time they got trapped in one of the NYADA studios when a janitor locked them in, thinking no one was there. It had been scary at the time, thinking they would have to spend the night there, but it was hard not to find the whole thing amusing now.

"Rachel tried to get me to jump out the window!" Kurt said.

"That was your idea!" Rachel countered. "But I reminded him that he wouldn't be able to open the door from the outside and there was no way I was jumping into a dumpster."

Kurt scoffed. "My idea?!"

"Yes, your idea," Rachel replied. "I wanted try crawling through the air ducts."

"How did you two get out?" Tina asked.

"Finn," Kurt replied.

"He came looking for us when it was after midnight and neither of us was home," Rachel added.

"Why didn't you call someone?" Mercedes asked.

"Unfortunately, I had forgotten my phone at home," Rachel said.

"And we were using mine as a stereo, so my battery died just before we were locked in," Kurt said.

"That same thing happened to me once," Sam replied. "Except I was at work and I really did have to jump into a dumpster to get out."

"How did you get locked in at work?" Mike asked.

"I sorta fell asleep in the back," Sam admitted.

Rachel laughed and shook her head. It had been a long time since she'd seen a lot of the people sitting around the table, and she had forgotten how much fun it could be when they were all together. So far, everything had gone exactly as Finn had said. It was almost as if no time had passed at all and they had fallen right back into an easy camaraderie. Then again, not everyone was there, and the people who were there were on friendly terms. She had a feeling things may be different if the rest of the former New Directions members had come that evening.

"I would like to propose a toast," Mike said, standing up with a smile. "To old friends."

"To old friends," everyone echoed, clinking their glasses with those sitting near them.

"I think we should also congratulate Tina and Artie on their recent graduations," Mike added. "So, congratulations, guys."

"Hear, hear!" Sam replied, smiling widely at the two.

"Yes, congratulations, Tina and Artie," Rachel said. "Do either of you have plans for what you're going to do now that you've graduated?"

"I have a friend and we're writing a script for a movie," Artie replied. "We're going to try to get some funding for it and maybe start filming in the fall."

"I'm going to Los Angeles in a few weeks after I visit my parents for a little while," Tina said. "I'm going to stay with Mercedes there while I try auditioning for roles."

"And you can stay as long as you like," Mercedes replied. "It'll be nice to have a friend nearby."

"Hey!" Artie said.

"Sorry, another friend," Mercedes replied with a laugh.

"That's better," Artie said, nodding.

"Move over, dude," Puck said to Sam as he came up to the table. "I got fifteen minutes and then I'm off my break."

"Where did you come from?" Rachel wondered.

"The kitchen," Puck answered.

Rachel frowned. "I didn't know you were a chef here."

"Dishwasher," Puck grunted.

"Oh," Rachel replied in surprise.

"Look, I know it's really crappy, but it pays the bills," Puck said.

Rachel shook her head. "I didn't mean anything negative and I apologize if that's how you took it. I was simply surprised. Finn never told me you were employed here."

"I just started here a couple weeks ago," Puck said, running his hand over his head. "I was doing my pool cleaning thing, but this new place opened and the assholes stole a lot of my business." Puck shrugged. "I didn't wanna have to move in back with my mom and sister, so it was either this or pushing carts at Walmart."

"I think it's great, Noah, I really do." Rachel replied. "We all have to start somewhere and work our way up. Maybe one day you'll be the manager here."

"And it's gotta be better than my job," Sam said. "At least you don't work at Cluck's and have to wear a chicken costume."

Puck shrugged as everyone began laughing. As amusing as the thought of Sam in a chick costume was, though, Rachel couldn't help feeling bad for him. She couldn't imagine being stuck in Lima at a dead end job, and she sincerely hoped both Sam and Puck would find something better that could take them out of the town.

"Sorry I'm late."

Rachel tensed the moment she heard the voice. It was one she hadn't heard in five years, but it was also one she would never forget. Sometimes she wished she could, but it was impossible to forget Quinn Fabray's voice when it had hurt her in so many ways from the moment they had met until the day they graduated from McKinley High.

"Hey, girl," Mercedes said, standing, and giving the blonde a hug. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show up."

"My flight was delayed and then my mother didn't want me to leave," Quinn replied.

"I can imagine," Mercedes said, sitting down. "You haven't been here in, what? Four years?"

"Something like that," Quinn replied.

Rachel stared at her plate as Quinn walked around to the other side of the table and took the only open seat, which just happened to be the one across from Rachel. And as everyone else at the table fell into conversation again, Rachel remained quiet, her eyes fixed to the table.

"Are you okay?" Kurt whispered after several minutes, leaning toward her.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied, plastering on a fake smile, and hoping Kurt didn't question her further.

* * *

As Rachel looked at her reflection in the mirror, she took a deep breath. Time seemed to have crawled to a slow the moment Quinn appeared and Rachel was exhausted from trying to act as if everything was okay. Nearly everyone at the table, including Finn, seemed completely oblivious to her discomfort, but Kurt was a different matter. She found him staring at her, studying her, obviously waiting for her to show a sign that something was wrong.

She didn't need to use the facilities, but she had excused herself just so she could go into the bathroom and have a moment to herself. Everything was becoming a bit overwhelming, not just because of Quinn's presence, but because there were so many large personalities in the room and she had forgotten what that was like. She usually didn't mind so much considering she was one of those personalities, but right now, she just wanted to be alone.

Taking another deep breath, she squared her shoulders, preparing herself to walk back out into the restaurant. Just as she turned to leave the room, though, the door opened, and the last person she wanted to see walked in. She froze the moment she saw Quinn and the blonde did the same, standing there with the door open as she looked at Rachel.

After a moment, Quinn seemed to regain her composure and stepped the rest of the way into the bathroom, letting the door close behind her. Rachel looked away a few seconds later and walked over to the paper towel dispenser, but she could still feel Quinn's eyes on her. As Rachel wiped off her already dry hands, she did her best to ignore the fact that Quinn was staring at her. And as she tossed the paper towel into the garbage, she began walking to the door without another glance at Quinn.

"I wondered if you were going to come," Quinn said from behind her.

It was the first thing Quinn had said to her all night. She had talked to everyone else at the table, but it was as Rachel wasn't there, which was more than okay with the brunette.

Rachel stopped in her tracks, her hand resting on the door handle, but didn't turn around as she said, "Finn wanted to attend the reunion; I came for him."

Rachel pulled the door opened and walked out of the bathroom, stopping just outside to take another deep breath. From where she stood, she could see everyone at the table laughing, and she felt a slight pang at the sight. She wished she could be like everyone else, enjoying seeing old friends for the first time in years, but it wasn't so simple for her. Coming back to Lima brought just as many bad memories as it did good.

As she began walking over to the table, Kurt looked over his shoulder at her with a look of concern. She gave him a smile, hoping to ease his worries, but he still continued looking at her with a slight frown. Sometimes she hated how well he knew her and how well he could see through her facade, and this was definitely one of those times. She just wanted to make it through this weekend without drudging things up, but she knew he was probably going to make it difficult for her.

"Has the waitress come by?" Rachel asked Finn as she took her seat next to him.

"I haven't seen her," Finn said with a shrug.

Rachel sighed; she really wanted another glass of wine, but their waitress seemed to have disappeared. "Well, hopefully she'll be by soon."

"I was thinking about getting some fresh air," Kurt said, leaning toward her. "Care to join me?"

"Actually, I'm fine right here," Rachel replied.

She knew if she went outside with him that he would immediately begin pestering her with questions. She had only been in Lima for a few days and she was already tired of trying to convince people that she was okay. Every time she talked to Kurt or Finn, they would ask. Even her fathers had asked it several times.

Kurt narrowed his eyes, studying her, but before he could say anything else, Sam looked around the table and asked, "What's everyone doing after this?"

Mercedes shrugged. "I don't really have any plans."

"I'm free," Tina answered.

"What did you have in mind?" Mike asked.

"I dunno," Sam said, shrugging. "Maybe we could go hang out at someone's house. Who has the biggest place?"

"Probably mine, but my parents go to bed early," Mercedes answered.

"Yeah, I don't think my parents would be too happy if I brought everyone back," Mike said.

"What about your place?" Sam asked, looking over at Rachel.

"Actually, I'm beginning to get a headache, so I think it would be best if I just went home," Rachel said.

"We could go to my house," Artie offered. "My mom won't care."

"Then it's settled," Sam said with a grin.

"What's settled?" Quinn asked.

"We're all goin' to Artie's after we leave here," Sam said. "Well, most of us. Rachel's got a headache."

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Finn whispered.

"I'm sure," Rachel replied.

"Do you want me to take you home right now?" Finn asked.

"Would you?" Rachel asked. "I'm afraid my headache is only going to worsen."

"Yeah, just let me go find the waitress and get our check," Finn said, standing up.

Rachel let out a sigh of relief. As much as she would like to catch up with her friends, the evening was getting a little too overwhelming for her. Right now, she just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and hope the actual reunion was a little less exhausting than dinner had been.

* * *

"Are you going to go to Sam's?" Rachel asked as they neared her house.

Finn shrugged. "I don't know. Are you sure you don't want to go?"

"I'm sure," Rachel replied.

When she had initially said she had a headache, it really wasn't that bad, but it really was beginning to pound behind her eyes. She figured it was because of all the stress she'd been under for the last few weeks because it wasn't the first one she'd had recently. She'd been getting terrible headaches nearly every other day, and the only thing that usually helped was a relaxing bubble bath or a nice, long nap.

"I'll see everyone again tomorrow, though," Rachel added. "And we'll get to see the ones who couldn't make it tonight."

"Yeah," Finn replied.

Not that she was really looking forward to seeing everyone. There were some that she wouldn't mind seeing, but she certainly wasn't looking forward to seeing Santana. Other than Quinn, Santana was the person she was least looking forward to being in the same room with again. She knew it was possible that Santana had grown over the past five years, but when they were in high school, she had been nothing but insulting and belittling toward her.

When Finn pulled to a stop in her fathers' driveway, she looked over at him just as he looked at her and asked, "Do you want me to walk you in?"

"Actually, I was thinking maybe you could come in," Rachel said, reaching over, and putting her hand underneath his.

"Like stay the night?" he asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied.

"Won't that be a little weird?" Finn asked.

"We're engaged now; we're going to be married next year," Rachel said, shrugging. "My fathers won't have a problem with you staying the night."

"I don't know," Finn said, furrowing his brows. "I kind of promised my mom I'd be home tonight."

"You could call her and tell her your plans changed," Rachel replied. "I'm sure she'll understand."

"Yeah, but I told her I'd be home," Finn said.

Rachel sighed, looking away. "Fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Finn."

As she opened the door and began to exit the truck, Finn grabbed her hand and gently pulled her back until she relented and sat back down, closing the door.

"Why are you being so weird?" Finn asked.

"How am I being weird?" Rachel asked back as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't know." Finn shrugged. "You're just—you're, like." Finn sighed. "You're not acting like yourself tonight, I guess. I mean, you were, but then Quinn came and you got all quiet."

Rachel looked away again, stiffening slightly at the mention of the blonde. As normal as she tried to act when Quinn came, she knew she had failed miserably. Thankfully, most of the people at the table probably hadn't noticed, but Kurt and Finn had obviously both noticed the change in her demeanor.

"Why are you still letting her get to you?" Finn asked. "I know she wasn't always that nice to you, but that was, like, five years ago."

"I have no ill feelings toward Quinn," Rachel said, feeling a twinge of guilt about lying to her fiancé.

It seemed like she had been lying a lot lately and she hated the feeling that came along with it. She didn't like lying to Finn, but she also didn't want him to worry about things that he really didn't need to worry about. She wanted him to enjoy the reunion and she knew she didn't want to put a damper on it.

"Then why'd you get all quiet when she came?" Finn asked.

"That's when I was beginning to get my headache," Rachel replied. "Speaking of which, I should really go inside. I'm hoping a warm bath will make me feel a little better."

"Okay," Finn said with a nod. "But let me know if you change your mind about going to Sam's and I can come pick you up."

"So you are going over there?" Rachel asked.

"For a little bit," Finn replied.

"I'll call you if I feel any better, but I'll probably just spend the night relaxing," Rachel said. "It's been a long day, after all." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"Yeah," Finn replied. "Love you, too."

Rachel opened the door and stepped out of the truck. She began walking to the house but turned and waved at Finn when she heard him begin to pull out of the driveway. He waved back and she continued standing there until she could no longer see the truck driving down the street. Finally, after several minutes of standing there, staring down an empty street, she sighed and turned toward the house, walking up the sidewalk.

"Rachel?" Leroy called from the living room when she opened the door.

"Yes, it's me," Rachel called back, closing the door behind her, and setting her purse on the table.

"Did you have a good night?" Hiram asked, looking over his shoulder at her as she walked into the living room.

"I guess," Rachel replied.

Hiram's eyebrow rose. "You guess? You and Finn didn't get in a fight, did you?"

"No, it was nothing like that," Rachel said, walking around the back of the couch, and sitting down next to Hiram. "He took me to Breadstix and surprised my with a lot of my former classmates being there."

"And that was a bad surprise?" Leroy asked.

"No, I just wasn't expecting it, so I'm a little tired," Rachel replied.

"Do you want me to make you some tea?" Hiram asked. "I know that always used to make you feel better."

"Actually, think I'm going to take a bubble bath and then head to bed," Rachel said, sighing as she stood. "Tomorrow is probably going to be another hectic day, after all."

"Are you going to be here for breakfast?" Leroy asked. "I can make you my famous waffles."

Rachel smiled as she leaned down to hug him. "I would like that."

"Goodnight, Sweetie," Leroy said, hugging her back.

"Goodnight, Daddy," Rachel replied before turning to Hiram. "Night, Dad."

"Sleep tight," Hiram said, squeezing her tightly.

Rachel smiled at her fathers and then turned, walking toward the stairs. And as she walked up to her room and began getting her bath ready, she could feel her headache worsen as she started thinking about the next day. While she watched the water level rise, though, she took a deep breath and reminded herself that they would be leaving in two days. Two more days and she could get back to her life in new York, forgetting all about Lima and the memories it held.


	4. I Must Confess

**Chapter 4 – I Must Confess**

As Rachel walked down the stairs, she could hear her fathers in the kitchen, and for a moment, she wondered what they were making. Then she remembered their short conversation from the previous night and suddenly got excited at the prospect of her father's famous waffles.

Saturday and Sunday morning breakfast was something she always loved when she'd lived at home. During the week it was usually cereal or, if they were running late, a breakfast bar on the way to work or school, but Leroy always made breakfast on the weekends. Her favorite had always been his delicious waffles and she hadn't had them in far too long. Whenever she moved out, their weekend family breakfast was one of the things she found herself missing the most.

"There you are," Hiram said as she walked into the kitchen. "We were wondering if one of us was going to have to go up and wake you."

"I suppose I did sleep a little later than usual," Rachel remarked.

"Did you sleep okay?" Leroy asked.

"Yes and no," Rachel replied. "I guess I'm still getting used to sleeping in my old room again. I don't remember the house making so many noises at night."

"Well, it's getting older just like the rest of us," Hiram said with a laugh. "It's bound to make a few creaks and groans."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Leroy replied, looking over his shoulder, and grinning at his husband before looking at Rachel. "So, you didn't sleep well, huh?"

"It wasn't the worst night's sleep I've had, but it certainly wasn't the best," Rachel said.

The noises from the house had kept her up, but it wasn't the only thing that had caused her sleeplessness. She kept thinking about dinner at Breadstix and the fact that she was going to have to see everyone again at the reunion. And the more she thought about it, the more her nerves began to set in. Until dinner, she had been holding out some hope that Quinn wouldn't come to the reunion, but those hopes had been dashed the moment she heard her voice.

"Jelly or syrup?" Leroy asked as he grabbed a plate and put the newly made waffle on it.

"Syrup, please," Rachel replied.

"Here you go," Leroy said, setting the plate down in front of her, and then grabbing the syrup from the cabinet and handing it to her.

"So, you didn't really tell us about last night," Hiram commented.

"This isn't a lot to tell," Rachel said, shrugging as she poured some syrup over her waffles.

"Who all was there?" Leroy asked.

"Well, there was obviously me and Finn," Rachel replied. "And, let's see, Kurt was there. Mercedes and Tina, Mike, Sam, Noah, Artie, and, um, Quinn."

"How was that?" Hiram asked.

"Why do you ask?" Rachel wondered.

"I just know she was responsible for a lot of the bullying, wasn't she?" Hiram asked.

"Oh, yes," Rachel replied. "It was—it was fine. There were a lot of people there, so we didn't really speak. And even if we had, I'm sure things still would have been perfectly fine."

"Really?" Leroy asked.

"Of course," Rachel replied. "Why not?"

"I don't know," Leroy said, glancing at Hiram.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked, looking between her fathers.

"We were just a little concerned," Hiram replied. "Your father and I kind of agreed that you haven't really been yourself since you got here."

"We thought maybe it was because you were nervous about seeing your friends again, and especially about seeing those people who made your high school life difficult," Leroy said.

"High school was a long time ago, right?" Rachel said, forcing a smile. "You know I've never believed in holding grudges. I'll admit that I've been a bit nervous, but everything is fine."

"Are you sure?" Hiram asked. "You've been spending quite a bit of time in your room."

"I'm sure," Rachel replied. "I promise there is no need to be concerned about me. I may have been a little stressed and little anxious about the reunion, but that all went away the moment I saw my old friends. Really, it was just like old times except better because there was no homework involved and no classes." Rachel smiled, hoping to ease her fathers' worries. "Really, everything is perfectly fine."

"Well, as long as you say everything's fine, I guess there's nothing to worry about," Leroy said.

Her fathers smiled at her and she smiled back, once again feeling guilty about lying to someone she loved. She didn't want her fathers worrying about anything, just like she didn't want Finn worrying about her. She knew how her fathers could be, and the reunion would be over before she knew it, so there was no point in making them worried for nothing.

"These waffles are delicious," Rachel commented after finally swallowing her first bite. "I almost forgot how good they were."

"Maybe if you came home a little more, you wouldn't forget," Hiram pointedly said.

"You know she's busy with work," Leroy said, putting his hand on his husband's shoulder as he set a plate of waffles in front of him.

"I'll admit, I do miss seeing you guys and I really wish I could see you more often," Rachel replied. "Maybe you two could visit us in New York a little more often. That way you could see your favorite daughter more and you could also get to know Finn a little better. He is going to be your son-in-law, after all."

"I think you're right," Hiram replied. "We don't go up there nearly enough."

"Maybe we can make the trip up there at the end of the summer," Leroy said. "How does that sound?"

Rachel smiled. "I think that sounds wonderful."

* * *

Rachel looked at herself in the mirror, turning to the side to see the back of the dress. After a moment, she shook her head and slipped the dress off, throwing it onto the bed with the other discarded clothes. As she picked up the next dress and inspected it for any imperfections, she berated herself for not picking out the perfect outfit sooner. Instead, she brought far too many dresses and she couldn't decide which to wear.

She hadn't wanted to go to the reunion, but now that she was going, she was determined to look as amazing as possible. High school had been terrible for her and a lot of the insults she received from her fellow classmates had been focused on her appearance. Her plaid skirts and animal sweaters were a thing of the past, and she wanted to look stunning to show everyone they were wrong about her. She wanted to make everyone jealous of her, not only for the way she looked, but for her successes. She may not be a star yet, but she _was_ on Broadway, which was a lot more than most people could say.

As she looked at herself in the formfitting, black dress, the doorbell rang. She quickly looked at the clock, wondering if she'd lost track of time, but Finn wasn't supposed to be there for another nineteen minutes. Since he was never on time for anything and certainly not early, she turned back to the mirror, looking at herself from every angle. The dress was better than the last one, but she still wasn't sure it was the right way to go. She wanted to look her best, but not like she was trying too hard.

Scrunching up her nose, she shook her head once again and quickly took off the dress, throwing it on top of the last one she'd rejected. She only had a few more things to try on, and just as she began putting on the next one, there was a knock at the door.

"Yes?" Rachel asked, quickly pulling the dress down.

"Your escort has arrived," Kurt said as he walked in and took a bow.

"What are you going here?" Rachel asked. "Where's Finn?"

"He had to help at the garage," Kurt replied. "He called me and said he was running late, so I told him I would get you and we could meet him there. Plus, I know you and I thought you may need my fashion expertise." He looked at her bed, raising his eyebrow at the mess. "And it seems as if I was right."

Rachel sighed. "I'm having a hard time deciding what to wear."

"Obviously," Kurt replied, walking over to the bed, and picking up each garment one by one. "I don't even want to know what you were thinking when you brought this one."

"It was in my closet here," Rachel said.

"Well, you should burn it," Kurt replied with a look of disgust.

Rachel walked over and took the dress from her. "Forget that one. What do you think about the one I'm wearing?"

Kurt took a step back and tilted his head, looking her up and down. "It's okay, but I think we can do better." He looked down and picked up the only remaining one that she hadn't already tried on. "Try this one. It'll go great with your skin tone."

Rachel slipped off the dress she was wearing and took the other from him, putting it on. When he zipped her up, he stepped back and observed her as she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress was a shimmery silver and slightly form fitting but not too tight, and was definitely the best one she'd tried on.

"I think we have a winner," Kurt said with a smile.

"Really?" Rachel asked. "You don't think it's too—"

"I think it's perfect," Kurt interrupted.

Rachel smiled. "Well, if you think it's perfect then I guess I'll have to wear it."

"Now, enough about you," Kurt said, holding his arms out. "How do I look?"

"Very handsome," Rachel replied.

She knew he wanted to look perfect for the exact reasons she did. He had been bullied just as much as she had and she knew he probably wanted to make everyone regret it. Not to mention the fact that Blaine, his ex-boyfriend, was going to be there, and she was sure Kurt would want to make him regret ever cheating on him. And with the impeccably tailored grey suit Kurt was wearing, she knew he was going to succeed.

"So, are you nervous?" Kurt asked, pushing her discarded dresses to the side, and sitting down on the bed.

"Not really," Rachel lied with a shrug.

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrow.

"What's there to be nervous about?" Rachel asked. "I saw almost everyone last night, not to mention how amazing I look, so there's really nothing for me to worry about."

"Speaking of last night—"

"Which earrings do you think I should wear?" Rachel interrupted, hoping to distract him.

"Those," Kurt said, nodding to the dangly ones in her right hand.

"Now, about last night—"

"And which shoes?" Rachel asked.

"The silver," Kurt said before she could even hold them up.

"How did it go at Sam's?" Rachel asked. "Did you go?"

"I did for a little while," Kurt replied.

"What did you all do there?" Rachel wondered.

"Everyone mostly just talked," Kurt said, shrugging. "The guys drunk some beers and eventually started playing some violent video game. That's when I left."

"Did everyone go?" Rachel asked.

"Not everyone," Kurt replied. "Quinn wasn't there."

Rachel nodded but tried to keep her face passive. "Did Finn have fun?"

"I assume so," Kurt replied. "Haven't you talked to him today?"

"No," Rachel said, looking at herself in the mirror again. "He sent me a text this morning saying he was going to be busy today, so I didn't want to interrupt."

Kurt hummed but didn't say anything else, which Rachel was thankful for. She really didn't want to talk about last night; she just wanted to focus on getting through the reunion and the fact that she would be leaving Lima in less than twenty-four hours.

"Okay, I guess I'm ready," Rachel said once she was satisfied with the way she looked.

"Do you want to leave now?" Kurt asked.

Rachel shrugged. "Sure. Why not?"

She hoped the sooner they went, the sooner she could leave, and the faster she could put all of this behind her.

* * *

"You're nervous," Kurt stated.

"I'm not nervous," Rachel lied.

"You only play with your ring when you're nervous," Kurt pointed out.

Rachel stilled her fingers. "Fine, I'm a little nervous."

"Why do you still let her get to you?" Kurt asked.

Rachel frowned. "Who?"

"Quinn," Kurt said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel said, looking away.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Kurt replied. "Maybe no one else noticed, but the moment she arrived last night, you changed."

"I don't know—"

"And don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about," Kurt snapped. "We both know it's a lie. Before Quinn walked in you were the Rachel Berry we all know and love, but then she came and you checked out."

"Can you blame me?" Rachel asked a little more heatedly than she'd intended.

"Look, I know better than anyone about being bullied, but you can't keep letting her get to you," Kurt replied. "High school was five years ago; you can't hold onto that resentment forever. It'll lead to frown lines and I know you don't want that."

Rachel sighed and shook her head. "It's complicated."

"How complicated can it be?" Kurt asked. "She treated you terribly, I know that, but—"

"It's not just that," Rachel replied.

"What is it, then?" Kurt asked.

"It's—nothing," Rachel said, looking away again.

"It has to be something," Kurt argued. "What is going on with you?"

Rachel shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"Rachel, I'm your best friend," Kurt said, looking over at her. "I know you. I know when you're lying, I know when you're hiding something, and I know when something is bothering you. You've been doing all three lately, not to mention you've been incredibly weird about this whole reunion thing. And I get it; I know it's hard to go and see all those people, but there has to be more to it than that. You've never backed down from anything and I can't imagine you've suddenly started."

Rachel opened her mouth, but quickly closed it, thinking better of it. She didn't know what to say to Kurt; she thought about making something up, but she knew he would see right through it. If there was one thing Kurt was good at it was learning people's secrets. Mostly because he was relentless, not giving up until he finally figured out the truth.

"I told you, it's complicated," Rachel finally replied.

She knew the answer would never be good enough for Kurt, but she really didn't want to talk about it. She only had to make it through the evening and then she would be home free. Unfortunately, she knew Kurt wouldn't drop it just because they all left Lima. He would bring it up during every conversation, pestering her until she finally told him the truth. She usually didn't mind it—she appreciated always being able to get things off her chest—but in this case, she wished he wouldn't push. It just wasn't in his nature, though.

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Complicated how?"

Rachel sighed. "Kurt—"

"What?" Kurt asked. "Since when do you keep secrets? Especially when it's obviously bothering you so much. Have you even told Finn or are you keeping whatever it is from him, too? I know he's worried about you, which makes me think you haven't talked to him, either. He says you've been weird lately and I'm inclined to agree with him." He paused for a moment as he held her gaze. "It all started when you found out about the reunion."

"Can you please pay attention to the road?" Rachel asked when he looked at her a little too long.

"I'm not going to let you change the subject," Kurt said.

"And I would rather not get in an accident," Rachel retorted.

"Okay, my eyes are the road," Kurt stated. "Now, tell me what happened."

"I don't want to talk about it, and if you really were my best friend, you wouldn't ask me again," Rachel said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, if I really am your best friend, which I am, I would want to figure out what's been bothering you," Kurt replied. "Did she play a terrible prank on you that none of us knew about?" Kurt tilted his head. "I guess that could explain our senior year."

"No, it's nothing like that," Rachel replied.

"Then what is it?" Kurt asked. "What did Quinn do to you? What's so bad that you won't even tell your best friend or your fiancé?"

"She broke my heart," Rachel blurted out, regretting it the moment the words had left her lips.

"She—" Kurt paused, seemingly taking in what she just said. "What do you mean she broke your heart."

"I'm fairly certain there is only one possible meaning to that statement," Rachel replied, looking down.

"Yes, but—what?" Kurt asked, looking at her with confusion all over his face.

"Quinn and I—" Rachel swallowed thickly. "We were in a relationship in high school."

Her voice wavered as she told Kurt the one thing she had never told anyone before. Silence filled the car, and she could practically hear her words rolling around Kurt's brain. After what felt like forever, she finally looked over at her friend. His face was a mixture of disbelief, confusion, and like he just found out everything he knew was a lie. And in a way, she guessed it was.

"Say something," Rachel begged.

"I'm pulling over," Kurt said. "And then you're going to explain to me how you were in a secret relationship with Quinn Fabray during high school!"

Rachel sighed and looked away from Kurt, resting her forehead against the window. This was certainly not how she expected her night to go, but now that the truth was out there, there was no taking it back.


	5. It's Time to Talk About the Truth Now

**Chapter 5 – It's Time to Talk About the Truth Now**

"Are you ever going to say anything?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed as she looked down at her hands. "I'm afraid I don't know where to start."

"Start with how you and Quinn Fabray dated," Kurt replied. "And how I, your best friend, never knew about it."

"Can you not make this about you?!" Rachel snapped.

She knew Kurt was shocked and probably more than a little hurt that she'd kept something like that from him for so long, but she wished he would stop focusing on himself. She had just told him her biggest secret in the world and he was making it about himself. It wasn't surprising—it's what he usually did—but for once, she didn't want it to be about him.

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "I just—" He paused, taking a deep breath, and nodded. "Okay, can we just start over?"

"Thank you," Rachel replied. "And I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Kurt said. "Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'm all ears."

Rachel sighed again; she'd kept everything in for so long, wishing she could tell someone, but now that the moment was here, she didn't have any clue what to say. She'd spent so long not talking about it that it felt weird to actually say the words. And it wasn't like she hadn't thought about this moment. For years she longed to be able to tell someone, going over and over in her mind what she would say, but words seemed to be failing her now that the time had finally come.

"I suppose I should start at the very beginning," Rachel finally said after several minutes of silence.

* * *

_August 19, 2009_

As Rachel walked down the hallway of William McKinley High School, she smiled at everyone she passed. It was a new school year and she was determined to have a fresh start. Her freshman year hadn't exactly gone the way she had hoped, but she was going to make this year different. She'd largely gone unnoticed the previous year, but she felt like that was all about to change. Everyone was finally going to see her for the star she was instead of being completely invisible. She just needed Mr. Ryerson to give her the solos she rightfully deserved and then everyone would finally notice her.

Rachel passed by a group of Cheerios, smiling at one of them as they locked eyes. The redhead rolled her eyes, but Rachel didn't let her smile falter. She was determined for this to be her year, and Rachel Berry was nothing if not goal-oriented. She knew becoming popular wasn't going to be easy, but she wasn't going to let anything deter her, especially not an unfriendly cheerleader.

The first bell echoed down the hallway, signaling that everyone had five minutes to get to class. Most of the student body continued milling about, talking with their friends and getting their books out of their lockers. Rachel had already been to her locker, though, and she really didn't have any friends to talk to, so she made a beeline for the nearest bathroom. Her first period was unfortunately with Mr. Cox, who was notoriously mean about letting his students out to use the facilities, and since she had drunk a whole cup of coffee that morning, she figured it would be best if she went before class began.

Rachel quickly used the bathroom, not wanting to be late on the third day of class. She prided herself on being a good student and she would hate to appear as if she didn't care about her education by being tardy. Plus, she had heard horror stories about Mr. Cox embarrassing students who were late to his class and that was certainly not how she wanted to begin the school year.

When she walked out of the bathroom stall, there was a Cheerio at the sink. She looked up when the stall door squeaked and Rachel instantly recognized her as the newly minted head cheerleader. She was usually with her two friends, so Rachel was surprised to see her alone, but this was just the opportunity Rachel needed. After all, if she wanted to become popular, who better to befriend than the most popular girl at McKinley High?

"Hello," Rachel greeted, smiling at her. "You're Quinn, right?"

The blonde didn't say anything, causing Rachel's smile to falter for a moment. She wasn't about to let it stop her, though; it was too good of an opportunity for her to pass up. She was confident that she and Quinn could become friends if she could just get the Cheerio talking to her.

"I suppose congratulations are in order," Rachel remarked as she turned on the water and began washing her hands. "You must be proud to be the youngest Cheerios captain in the history of McKinley High. I know I would be if I were in your position. I have to say, I was a little surprised when I heard the news. I know Coach Sylvester is very selective, especially when it comes to her head cheerleader, so you must be really good."

"Why are you talking to me?" Quinn asked as she grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser.

"I-I was simply making conversation," Rachel replied. "We're in a lot of the same classes, and I thought—"

"Well, don't," Quinn interrupted.

"I can assure you, I was just trying to be friendly," Rachel said, squaring her shoulders as she turned toward Quinn. "It may come as a shock, but not everyone at this school is rude."

"Look, RuPaul, if my silence wasn't clear enough, I don't want you talking to me," Quinn said, throwing her paper towel in the garbage as she advanced on Rachel.

Rachel felt a slight sting behind her eyes as she looked up at Quinn. She would never let herself cry in front of anyone who bullied her, though. She knew it would only make everything worse if she showed them any sign of weakness.

"Fine," Rachel replied. "I will abide by your wishes, but I just want you to know that I meant nothing by it. I was simply trying to be nice and make polite conversation. We do go to the same school, after all, and I believe the time would pass a lot quicker if everyone was cordial to one another. I know there's a social hierarchy here, but it doesn't have to be that way." Rachel paused for a moment but decided to add, "I didn't take you to be a follower, Quinn, but I guess I was wrong. I guess you're going to follow what everyone else does instead of trying to change the way this school works."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Do you ever stop talking?"

Rachel huffed but didn't say anything else. Instead, she stepped around the Cheerio, tossing her paper towel into the trashcan on her way out of the bathroom. Just as she exited the room and walked into the hallway, her breath was taken away as she got hit in the face with what felt like a snowball. It wasn't a snowball, though; it was much worse than that. As she wiped the substance from her eyes, she could already feel it soaking into her shirt. When she got enough of it out of her eyes, she looked down at her formerly white top, which was not covered in red slushy.

Everyone in the hallway was already laughing, and when the bathroom door opened behind her, she heard Quinn join in. As much as she wanted to cry at the humiliation, she refused to give everyone in the hallway the satisfaction. So, Rachel squared her shoulders and lifted her chin in defiance as she turned and walked back into the bathroom to clean herself up.

* * *

_September 18, 2009_

"Why are you doing this?"

Rachel's words were the loudest, though there were other people who had also spoke. Normally she would have been happy to have three new members, but not when they were three Cheerios. She couldn't understand why Mr. Schue would let them in Glee Club when it was obvious they were only going to spy for Coach Sylvester, who was hell-bent on destroying the club and everyone in it. But there they were, standing at the front of the choir room with Mr. Schue, who looked flabbergasted at the sudden outburst.

"Guys!" he said, trying to calm the group down. "They auditioned and they were really good. We need twelve people to compete at Sectionals and we're that much closer now. I'd think you all would show a little more appreciation toward Quinn, Brittany, and Santana for joining us instead of making them feel unwelcome. I'm really disappointed in every one of you."

"They're going to spy for Coach Sylvester," Tina reiterated.

"Give them the benefit of the doubt," Mr. Schue said. "They have the right to be here as much as the rest of you. New Directions does not turn people away."

"Maybe we should," Rachel stated.

Mr. Schue sighed and shook his head. "That isn't what this club is about. Everyone is welcome here, not just those who you think should be in the club. This club welcomes everyone who wants to be in it, and to not let these three in would be discrimination because they're, what, too popular?"

Rachel looked over at Finn, who had been quiet. She wondered if he knew anything about this or if it had come as a surprise to him as well. He was dating Quinn, after all, but considering his expression at the moment, she was guessing it was the latter. She wished he would say something to back up the rest of them since Mr. Schue would probably listen to _him_, but Finn looked as if he was going to continue to remain silent.

When Rachel looked back up to the front of the room, Quinn's eyes were on her and her eyebrow was cocked. It wasn't the first time she had noticed Quinn looking at her like that, full of contempt and annoyance. Rachel wasn't sure what she had done to Quinn other than trying to make conversation, but the blonde seemed to hate her, and it had only gotten worse since Finn had joined the Glee Club. Rachel would understand if she had tried to do something to break the couple up, but she certainly wasn't going to pursue Finn when he was dating Quinn. She wasn't about to make her life at school even more difficult by getting Quinn angrier at her.

"Mr. Schue," Rachel said, raising her hand. "If I may—"

"Enough!" Mr. Schue interrupted.

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. Mr. Schue was obviously falling for their ploy and was going to destroy the Glee Club by letting in Quinn, Santana, and Brittany, and nothing the rest of them said was going to sway him. She could only hope that attempts at sabotaging the club would be unsuccessful.

"Go," Mr. Schue said after staring at them all for moments.

"But we just got here," Mercedes replied.

"I know, but I don't think we're going to get a lot done today, so I want you all to go home and think about what happened today," Mr. Schue said, shaking his head at them. "I just hope you can all come back on Monday with a better attitude."

As everyone got up to leave, Rachel grabbed her bag and quickly followed Quinn out of the choir room. She was already several yards ahead of her when Rachel walked into the hallway, so she quickened her pace to catch up. Quinn's legs were a lot longer than hers, though, so Rachel practically had to run after her.

"Quinn," Rachel called out.

Quinn stopped, pausing before she turned around with a look of irritation on her face. "I thought I told you to never talk to me again."

"Why are you doing this?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn said, already looking bored by their conversation.

"I know you don't like me, but why do you have to go after the Glee Club?" Rachel asked. "Are you simply doing Coach Sylvester's bidding or are you here because of me?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes and took several steps forward, closing the distance between them. "Listen, Treasure Trail, I'm only going to tell you this once. Stay away."

"Stay away?" Rachel asked. "You're the one who joined Glee Club. If you can't bear my presence, it was certainly a poor decision for you to join."

"Do you always have to be so frustrating?" Quinn asked through gritted teeth.

"I wouldn't say I'm frustrating," Rachel replied. "And this is only the second time you've ever spoken to me, so I would hardly call it a sufficient sample size."

Quinn rolled her eyes and then gave Rachel one last look before turning and walking down the hall. Rachel watched Quinn as she retreated, breathing a sigh of relief since she'd expected it to go a lot worse than it had. It seemed like every time she even looked at Quinn, she ended up with a slushy in her face shortly after. Thankfully, almost no one was left in the school, so she was safe until Monday.

"I thought you left," Kurt said, causing Rachel to jump slightly in surprise.

"I was just leaving," Rachel said, looking over her shoulder at him. "Have a good weekend, Kurt."

Rachel gave him a quick smile and then followed in Quinn's footsteps, walking down the hallway, and out of the building with the hope that Monday's Glee Club meeting would go better.

* * *

_November 20, 2009_

"Guys, Sectionals are in a week!" Mr. Schue said. "We need to get this down if we're going to move on to Regionals."

"Well, maybe if some members of this group came to every rehearsal, we would be a little more cohesive," Rachel said, glancing over at the three Cheerios.

Rachel didn't think it was right that Quinn, Santana, and Brittany missed half of the rehearsals because of cheerleading practice. Half of the guys in the club were on the football team but they still managed to make it every time. Well, Puck sometimes didn't, but that wasn't because of practice. He just wasn't the most reliable and barely seemed to care about show choir. If any of the rest of them missed half the rehearsals, though, Mr. Schue would certainly tell them they were letting the rest of the club down, but he never said anything to the Cheerios, which wasn't fair. Rachel wasn't going to lose Sectionals because they couldn't be there when they should.

"It doesn't seem to help you," Quinn replied. "You're here every time and we're still better than you."

"She's right," Brittany said. "I'm a better dancer than you."

"I won't deny that you have a natural talent for dance, but—"

"Shut it, Hobbit," Santana interrupted.

Rachel looked around at everyone, hoping someone would come to her defense, but everyone remained quiet. In fact, most of her fellow New Directions members looked like they were trying not to laugh. Only Tina and Finn didn't look amused by Santana insult, but neither of them said anything to stick up for her.

She wished she could say she was surprised by it, but she wasn't. Despite being in Glee Club with everyone for the past few months, she really couldn't call any of them her friend. Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina would occasionally talk to her, but most of the club only spoke to her when they were insulting her. In the beginning, she hoped she could at least count on Mr. Schue to put a stop to it, but he never seemed to care when it came to her.

"Mr. Schue, maybe it would be a good idea to have extra rehearsals for some of the less gifted dancers," Quinn suggested.

Rachel scoffed at the insinuation, but before she could protest, Mr. Schue said, "Maybe for Regionals we can set up a sort of dance workshop, but right now, we just need everyone to do their best. We have eight days to get these moves right if we want to beat Jane Addams Academy and Haverbrook School for the Deaf." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Okay, guys, let's call it a day, but I want you to be here at seven."

"Tomorrow?" Finn asked. "But it's Saturday."

"I know, Finn, but we need the extra rehearsal time," Mr. Schue replied.

"Coach Sylvester is having the Cheerios practice all day," Quinn said.

"That's okay," Mr. Schue replied. "Come if she lets you out early."

"That's never going to happen," Santana stated.

"Well, then, I'll see you guys on Monday," Mr. Schue replied.

Most of the group quickly departed, probably afraid that he was going to change his mind and call them all back. Rachel was in no rush, though; she needed one of her fathers to pick her up, so after sending a text to let them know she was ready, she leisurely packed up her things. After about a minute, she looked over her shoulder, expecting to be the only one still in the choir room, but when she looked back, she saw that Quinn was still there. Several of her things were strewn on the floor, and Rachel's first instinct was to go over to help, but she remained where she was.

"I'll have you know, I've been winning dance competitions since before I could walk," Rachel found herself saying before she could think better of it.

"What?" Quinn asked.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with my dancing," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You were the one who said I was a bad dancer first," Quinn replied with a roll of her eyes.

"I said no such thing," Rachel stated. "I was merely saying we need to practice more as a group."

"Whatever," Quinn replied, standing.

"No," Rachel said, running after the blonde, and grabbing her.

"What do you want?" Quinn asked, wrenching her arm out of Rachel's grasp.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Rachel asked. "What did I ever do to you other than try to be nice?"

"Don't," Quinn said, turning to walk away, but Rachel grabbed her arm again.

"Don't what?" Rachel asked when Quinn pulled away again. "I want to know, Quinn. What did I do to you to make you hate me?"

Quinn's eyes seemed to bore into her, but Rachel refused to look away. She wasn't going to let Quinn leave without giving her an answer. She really had no idea what she'd ever done to Quinn, but things needed to change. She hated being snapped at any time she said anything during Glee and worrying that she was going to annoy Quinn somehow, resulting in a slushy to the face.

"Let me go," Quinn said.

"Not until you tell me," Rachel firmly replied, shaking her head.

For a moment, she thought Quinn was going to hit her, but then something entirely unexpected happened. Quinn's lips collided with hers and Rachel froze in shock. Before the surprise could wear off, Quinn had already pulled away, giving Rachel a look that could only be described as panic.

Rachel opened her mouth to say something—anything—but no words would come out. Even as Quinn turned on her heel and walked down the hallway, Rachel still didn't say anything. For once in her life, she was speechless. What could she possibly say, though? Quinn Fabray had just kissed her, which was the last thing she'd ever expected to happen in her life.

* * *

_November 23, 2009_

"Maybe if we just—"

"Stop telling us what to do!" Quinn snapped, interrupting Rachel, and causing everyone else to fall silent.

"Look, I know everyone is frustrated, but that's no reason to fight with each other," Mr. Schue said with a sigh. "You need to become a cohesive unit if you're going to bring that trophy home this weekend."

Rachel looked over at Quinn, who shook her head before glancing over at Rachel. Rachel thought she was going to say something else, because she certainly looked like she wanted to. She could tell everyone else seemed to think so as well. Kurt and Tina were on either side of her and both looked like they were bracing themselves for another outburst. After a few moments, though, Quinn began walking toward the stairs without a word.

"Quinn, where are you going?" Mr. Schue asked.

"The bathroom," Quinn said without looking back.

Rachel watched as Quinn walked off the stage and up the aisle. She didn't know what was going on with Quinn, but she had been horrible to her all day. Not that Quinn was ever nice to her, but she seemed to be going out of her way to insult Rachel. And, of course, the moment Rachel walked into school that morning, she found herself on the receiving end of a slushy. Naturally, Quinn had not been the one to deliver it—she always got others to do her dirty work—but she knew she was the one responsible for it.

"Excuse me," Rachel quietly said after a few moments.

No one seemed to be paying any attention, so Rachel ducked her head and briskly walked off the stage. She hoped Quinn really was going to the restroom, so it would be easier to find her. If not, Rachel was prepared to scour the school if that's what it took to find her. She needed to talk to Quinn and hopefully put an end to her behavior.

She knew Quinn was only acting the way she was because of what happened on Friday. Rachel wanted to bring it up all day, unable to really think of anything else, but the moment she saw Quinn that morning, she knew it would be a mistake. She didn't care, though; Quinn could do her worst and Rachel wouldn't back down this time. She needed to talk to Quinn about it. She needed to let Quinn know she understood and that it was okay if she was scared.

"Quinn?" Rachel asked upon entering the closest bathroom to the auditorium.

There was no response, but one of the stall doors was closed, and when she bent down to look under the door, it was clear there was a Cheerio inside. So, Rachel took a few steps back and waited for Quinn to come out. After all, she couldn't stay in there all day and there was no other way out.

"We need to talk," Rachel said the moment the door opened and she saw that it really was Quinn.

"I told you a long time ago not to talk to me," Quinn replied as she walked to the sink.

"I know, but you know it's difficult for me not to talk," Rachel said.

Rachel was hoping to lighten the mood a bit, but Quinn's expression remained the same. She had a slight scowl on her face and Rachel could see how tense she was. Not that Quinn ever looked very relaxed, but today it was even more evident. It was obvious Quinn wasn't going to make this easy on her, but it wasn't going to deter her.

"I just wanted you to know that you don't need to worry," Rachel said after a few moments. "I'm not going to tell anyone."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn replied, walking over to the paper towel dispenser.

"Quinn, I know you know what I'm talking about," Rachel said. "And you don't have to do this. I know you're hoping to push me away by bullying me, but you don't have to. Even though you've never been particularly nice to me, I'm not going to tell anyone. I know you don't know me very well, but I can assure you I wouldn't do that."

"I told you, I don't know—"

"Quinn," Rachel interrupted. "You don't have to say anything, but at least don't lie to me."

Quinn rolled her eyes, and Rachel expected her to leave, but Quinn just crossed her arms over her chest and remained. Rachel took it as a good sign even though Quinn looked like she'd rather be anywhere else.

"I just want you to know that I'm here," Rachel said. "If you need anyone to talk to, I will gladly listen. I can imagine you're afraid, but you don't have to be. That's all I really wanted to say."

She knew how Quinn's parents were and she could imagine how scared the blonde was. From what she'd heard from Finn, Quinn's parents, especially her father, were very strict and very religious. She didn't know what they would do if they found out Quinn wasn't straight, but she knew it wouldn't be anything good.

Friday had come as a complete shock, but at the same time, some things finally made sense to her. She knew it didn't excuse Quinn's behavior toward her, but she could finally understand it a little better. Quinn was scared, and because of that, she was lashing out. And if Quinn was attracted to her, it explained why she'd become Quinn's target. It didn't make how Quinn treated her okay, but she could at least understand it now.

"I'm going to go back to the auditorium," Rachel said, giving Quinn a small smile.

Quinn still didn't say anything, but she began walking to the door. Rachel couldn't help smiling to herself as she followed the other girl. Quinn may not have said much, but she took it as progress. Because even though Quinn obviously didn't want to talk about it, she'd still stayed and listened, and that was something.

* * *

**Okay, I was originally just going to have Rachel tell what happened, but then I decided to write it instead. So, this is the first of six chapters that will show what happened during high school.**


	6. Maybe

**Chapter 6 – Maybe**

_January 4, 2010_

"Get out."

Rachel looked up at the command, expecting Quinn to be talking to her, but she was looking at the other girl in the room. The Cheerio, who Rachel knew was a freshman, scrambled to leave, obviously afraid of not doing what Quinn said.

Rachel was half afraid of what Quinn was going to do, but she made sure not to show it. Quinn hadn't said anything to her in over a month, and Rachel hadn't tried to talk to her, either. She figured it was best to give Quinn her space and to let her sort things out herself without pushing her. She'd hoped Quinn would eventually come to terms with her sexuality and then maybe they could finally talk about everything. Unfortunately, Quinn didn't look like she wanted to talk, which is what scared her.

"Good morning, Quinn," Rachel said when the door closed behind the retreating Cheerio, hoping to keep things civil. "How was your winter break?"

Quinn opened her mouth and she looked like she was going to say something, so Rachel turned around instead of looking at her in the mirror. After a few seconds, though, Quinn closed her mouth and shook her head.

"Does that mean you had a bad winter break?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows together.

When Quinn took a step forward, she ran her tongue along her bottom lip. Rachel glanced down at the action, wondering if Quinn was going to kiss her again. She swallowed thickly, looking back up at Quinn's eyes. She could see the uncertainty in them and wanted to say something to reassure Quinn that everything was okay, but she seemed to be frozen.

Even though Quinn kissing her had been unexpected, it wasn't exactly unwelcome. Quinn was the prettiest girl she had ever seen, and even though her behavior was terrible at times, Rachel couldn't help having a crush on her. It was something she would deny if anyone asked, because it felt pathetic to like someone who treated her so badly, but she couldn't help how she felt.

After nearly a minute of standing there, wondering what Quinn was going to do, the other girl took a deep breath and then leaned forward, bringing their lips together. This time, Rachel wasn't caught completely off guard, so she was able to react, her arms wrapping around the back of Quinn's neck as she kissed her back.

The kiss was slow and hesitant, and Rachel could practically feel Quinn's uncertainty. After several moments, though, Quinn put her hands on Rachel's waist and pulled her a little closer. When Rachel took a small step, allowing Quinn to pull her forward, she clumsily bumped her foot into the blonde's, falling slightly into Quinn. Thankfully, Quinn's grip on her waist was strong, and Rachel was able to regain her balance without completely falling into Quinn and feeling embarrassed.

When Quinn finally pulled away, Rachel felt slightly dazed. She'd kissed someone before, but this felt much different. Of course, the first time had been because the boy's friends had dared him to do it, and much like her first kiss with Quinn, it was over before she'd even realized what was happening. This time, though, she knew it was going to happen. It was still surprising that it was happening at all, but she was at least prepared.

"Someone could come in," Rachel found herself saying when Quinn began to lean in again.

It wasn't that she necessarily cared if anyone saw them, but she didn't want Quinn to do something she was going to regret. Quinn was obviously still coming to terms with everything and Rachel knew she certainly wasn't ready for the whole school to find out. Which is exactly what would happen if anyone walked into the bathroom and saw them kissing. Gossip went around McKinley High quickly, and she could only imagine how fast it would spread if the head cheerleader was caught kissing her.

Quinn shook her head. "Santana's watching the door to make sure that doesn't happen."

"What does she think you're doing in here?" Rachel wondered.

Quinn shrugged. "Probably that I'm finally going to punch you like she keeps suggesting."

Rachel frowned. "That's not very nice."

"Who says either of us is nice?" Quinn asked.

Rachel wanted to argue, but she really couldn't. She knew they were capable of being nice, but none of that niceness had ever been directed toward her. For a moment, they had managed to come together at Sectionals, and she'd hoped that was going to change things at the school, but it hadn't.

"Is that the second bell?" Rachel asked when the loud ringing stopped.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"I have to go," Rachel said. "I have Mr. Cox for first period and he hates people being tardy to his class."

Rachel wanted to say something else, but what was there to say? 'Thank you' sounded completely ridiculous and she didn't want to scare Quinn off by making a big deal about it. But it felt like a big deal. She had kissed her twice now, and this time Quinn had willingly sought her out. Something told her it probably wasn't Quinn's intention when she approached her, but it had happened, nevertheless. And Rachel thought that was almost better in a way because it meant Quinn couldn't help herself.

"I'll see you in Glee this afternoon," Rachel finally said, giving Quinn a small smile.

"Yeah," Quinn replied, looking away.

Reluctantly, Rachel hurried out of the bathroom, hitting Santana with the door on the way out but not really caring very much. As she quickly walked to class, she couldn't help but wonder what had happened over winter break. She had expected more of the silent treatment from Quinn, not for the blonde to kiss her again.

Maybe this was a sign that things were finally going to change. Maybe she would finally stop being bullied every single day of school. Maybe the name calling and the slushies would finally come to an end.

* * *

_January 5, 2010_

"Good morning," Rachel greeted as she walked by Quinn.

Quinn sneered at her, looking at her with complete disdain. "How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to me before it gets through to you?"

"Yeah, why are you talking to us?" Brittany asked.

Rachel wanted to point out that she was only talking to Quinn, but Santana was standing right there. She had already seen Santana get in a fight with a girl once for hurting Brittany's feelings and she really didn't want to be suspended for fighting. And she knew she would be the one who would get in trouble. She didn't know if their principal was scared of Coach Sylvester or if it was simple favoritism towards the Cheerios and jocks, but they never got in trouble even though they were the ones who usually instigated things.

"I was just saying hi," Rachel said, glancing at Brittany. "After all, we're all together in Glee, and I was just being polite."

"Well, don't," Quinn replied, brushing past her.

Rachel sighed to herself as the three Cheerios walked away. She'd really hoped things were going to become better, but that hope was now dashed. She hadn't necessarily expected Quinn to be cheerful with her or anything, but she'd at least hoped for some civility. After all, only twenty-four hours ago they were kissing in the bathroom. She assumed that would at least change something.

"What was that about?" Kurt asked, stopping next to her locker, and raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing," Rachel said with a shake of her head.

"You're never going to be friends with them," Kurt stated, giving her a knowing look.

"I'm not trying to be friends with them," Rachel replied as she put in her locker combination.

"You want to be popular, we all do, but it's not going to happen," Kurt said. "Joining Glee Club was a death sentence. The faster we all learn that, the better. Even Finn is having a hard time retaining his popularity."

Rachel sighed. "I told you, I wasn't trying to befriend them. I was simply saying hi."

"Rachel, there is no such thing as just saying hi at this school," Kurt replied.

"I refuse to believe that," Rachel said, putting her textbook in her bag, and shutting her locker.

Rachel turned on her heel and began walking down the hallway, leaving Kurt behind. She really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right then; she just wanted to get to class. However, just as she was about to reach the classroom, Quinn grabbed her arm and yanked her toward the bathroom door.

"Quinn!" Rachel said, pulling her arm out of Quinn's grasp, and rubbing her bicep. "You could have just asked politely, you know?"

"What are you doing?" Quinn asked.

Well, I was on my way to class," Rachel replied.

"Don't play dumb," Quinn said. "What do you think you were doing saying hi to me?"

Rachel sighed and shook her head. "I was just saying hi, Quinn. It's not completely out of the ordinary. We do have classes together, after all, and we're both in Glee. It's not out of the realm of possibility that we could talk on occasion."

She didn't know why Quinn was being so paranoid; it's not like anyone would ever guess anything had happened between them. Rachel was one of the most unpopular girls in school while Quinn was at the top of the social hierarchy, not to mention the fact that she was dating Finn. Even if she and Quinn became friends, no one would ever suspect there was anything more going on between them.

"Just don't talk to me," Quinn said after a moment.

"Why?" Rachel asked. "Are you afraid it's going to hurt your popularity? You know, Quinn, there are some things that are more important than your social status."

"Not here," Quinn replied. "Not in high school."

"Yes, even in high school," Rachel argued.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "That's easy for you to say. You have nothing to lose by talking to me."

"Look, Quinn, I was just saying hi," Rachel said. "It's not like I was trying to have a conversation with you in public. You didn't have to snap at me; you could have simply ignored me. I'm not saying that wouldn't have hurt a little, but it would have been better than being belittled in the hallway."

"Next time don't talk to me and I won't have to," Quinn replied.

Rachel shook her head; she understood that popularity was important to Quinn—it was important to her, too—but she couldn't understand why it was _that_ important. Rachel would never seek to become more popular if it was at someone else's expense. Quinn, on the other hand, didn't seem to care who she hurt in the process.

"Why are you so concerned, Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"You don't know my parents," Quinn stated. "They would burn me at the stake if they ever knew I was—" Quinn sighed and looked away for a moment. "They can't know. No one can know."

"I'm not trying to out you, Quinn," Rachel replied, and Quinn glanced around, looking uncomfortable. "But there is something happening between us whether you want to admit it or not. I'm not asking you to tell anyone or for you to be my friend. I'm just asking you not to kiss me one minute and then treat me like a leper the next."

Rachel put her hands on her hips as Quinn looked away. She was hoping Quinn would say something; she wasn't even expecting an apology, but she would like a response of some kind. But after a few moments, the bell rang out, ending any hope that Quinn would say something.

"And now I'm going to be tardy for first period again," Rachel said with a sigh. "Do you want to go out first or shall I? After all, you wouldn't want anyone thinking we were speaking in here."

"You can go," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded and then turned on her heel, trying to think of a good excuse for why she was late for the second day in a row.

* * *

_February 18, 2010_

When the doorbell rang for the second time, Rachel grabbed the remote control and jumped out of the bed. She had forgotten that her fathers weren't home—they were at their weekly dinner with some of Leroy's colleagues—so she quickly exited the room and hurried down the stairs.

It was probably too late for solicitors, and Rachel wasn't expecting anyone, so she didn't know who it could possibly be. She didn't really have any friends to just randomly pop by and she was fairly certain all her fathers' friends knew they were always out on Thursday nights. When she looked through the peephole to make sure it wasn't some crazy person who was going to axe murder her while her fathers were away, though, she saw one of the last people she would expect.

Rachel took a step back from the door and glanced down. She hadn't been expecting any visitors, so she was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that she was suddenly very self-conscious of. Unfortunately, she didn't have enough time to go back upstairs and change, so when the bell rang for a third time, she reached out and slowly opened the door.

"What are you doing here, Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"And hey to you, too," Quinn replied.

"Oh, sorry, I—what are you doing here?" Rachel asked again.

She couldn't possibly fathom what the other girl was doing there. She had barely acknowledged her existence over the past month. She had pulled her into the bathroom a few times, but then it was always followed by a week or so of complete silence. Well, mostly silence. There were a few snide comments during Glee, but otherwise, they didn't really speak. Rachel had tried a few times, but Quinn would usually roll her eyes and say she needed to go. It was frustrating, to say the least.

"I was in the neighborhood," Quinn said with a shrug.

"You were in the neighborhood?" Rachel asked. "As far as I know, none of your friends live nearby, and this is a residential neighborhood, so the only thing on this side of town are houses."

"Do you always have to be so annoying?" Quinn asked.

"It isn't my fault that you find everything I do irksome," Rachel replied.

"Are you going to invite me in?" Quinn asked.

Rachel sighed and looked over her shoulder. She was apprehensive about inviting Quinn in when she was the only one in the house, but it would be rude not to ask her to come in. So, Rachel slowly stepped to the side, opening the door for her, and said, "Would you like to come in, Quinn?"

Quinn walked into the house and Rachel closed the door behind her. When she turned around, Quinn was looking around the entryway before turning and looking at her. Rachel felt awkward standing there, especially when Quinn glanced down at her bare legs and raised her eyebrow.

"So, umm, what are you doing here, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "Other than being in the neighborhood."

"Is there some place we can go?" Quinn asked.

Rachel glanced toward the stairs, wondering if she should take Quinn to her room or if they should stay in the living room. But considering her fathers weren't home, it didn't really matter where she took her; they were going to be alone either way.

"My room is upstairs," Rachel said, pointing the way.

Quinn nodded and then turned and began walking up the stairs. Rachel watched her for a moment before following her up and meeting her again at the top. Quinn easily could have guessed which room was hers considering it had a big, glittery star on it, but Rachel took the lead anyway. And when she opened the door, she stepped in and to the side, self-consciously watching as Quinn walked in and looked around the bedroom.

"What are you doing here, Quinn?" Rachel asked once again.

"That's the fourth time you've asked that," Quinn replied.

"And you still haven't given me a legitimate answer," Rachel said.

Quinn shrugged as she turned and began walking around the room. Rachel walked over, sitting on her bed, never taking her eyes off Quinn. After stopping by Rachel's mirror, where Rachel had several pictures of the Glee Club—one from their first meeting and another after they won Sectionals—she finally walked over to the bed, running her fingers along the comforter as she walked around the bed toward Rachel.

"When are your fathers going to be home?" Quinn asked, stopping next to Rachel.

"Not until—how did you know they weren't home?" Rachel asked.

"I overheard you talking to Kurt," Quinn answered as she smoothed her dress down and took a seat on the bed.

"Oh," Rachel said.

She didn't know why Quinn was there and it didn't seem like she was going to get an answer, so Rachel remained quiet rather than ask once again. She felt awkward just sitting there, but it was the first time she'd really had anyone in her room, so it was a new experience for her.

"Have you done the assignment for Mrs. Whitmore's class?" Rachel eventually asked.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded and glanced around her room, trying to think of a good topic of conversation. When she looked back over at Quinn, she was staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Just as she opened her mouth to ask Quinn what she was thinking, the blonde leaned forward. Rachel quickly closed her mouth just before Quinn's lips made contact with hers.

Rachel closed her eyes as Quinn wrapped her hand around the back of her neck. Every time Quinn kissed her, it was hesitant, but this time, there was no hesitation. Quinn seemed more sure of what she was doing, her mouth parting, and her tongue brushing Rachel's bottom lip for the first time. As Rachel opened her mouth, allowing Quinn access, the blonde moved her hands to Rachel's waist. Rachel could feel Quinn trying to guide her further onto the bed, so she scooted back some as Quinn turned and crawled onto the bed.

Their lips lost contact for a moment, but Quinn crashed her lips into Rachel's, causing the brunette to moan. Quinn had kissed her several times, but it was never like this. This time, there was more of an urgency that Rachel had never felt before. This time, Quinn no longer felt like she was holding back, which was both exciting and a little scary to Rachel.

"Wait," Rachel said, putting her hands on Quinn's shoulders, and pushing her back. "I can't do this, Quinn. I don't want it to happen like this."

"Like what?" Quinn asked. "I was just—"

"You're dating Finn," Rachel interrupted. "This isn't fair to him. Or to me."

"I should go," Quinn said, quickly standing up before Rachel could even register that she was no longer above her.

"Quinn," Rachel said, sitting up. "Wait."

"My parents will wonder where I am," Quinn said, running her hand through her hair.

Before Rachel could say anything else, Quinn was already leaving the room. Rachel wanted to run after her, but in all of her experiences with Quinn, she figured it was best to let her leave. So, instead, Rachel laid back on her bed with a sigh.

* * *

_February 25, 2010_

When Rachel looked through the peephole and saw Quinn Fabray on her doorstep, she was no less surprised than the week before. Quinn hadn't spoken a word to her in the past week even though Rachel had tried several times to get her to talk. She wasn't going to apologize since she didn't feel like she had done anything wrong, but she still wanted to talk to Quinn to make sure she hadn't hurt her feelings or anything. If she had, it hadn't been her intention; she just didn't want either of them to do something they were going to regret.

Rachel glanced down, thankful she had pajama pants on instead of shorts, and then looked back up at the door. She may have wanted to talk to Quinn at school, but now that she was there, Rachel was a little nervous. So, with a deep, calming breath, Rachel put her hand on the doorknob and slowly turned it, giving herself a few extra moments before opening the door.

"Hello, Quinn," Rachel said, trying to sound completely calm and nonchalant.

"Hey," Quinn replied.

Instead of asking what she was doing there, Rachel stepped to the side and motioned for Quinn to come in. The blonde seemed to hesitate for a moment before stepping into the house. After closing the door behind Quinn, Rachel turned and looked at the other girl, wondering if she was going to get an explanation for why she was there. Quinn, however, just looked away.

"Quinn—"

"I brought some movies," Quinn blurted out.

"You—you brought movies?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows.

"I thought maybe we could watch one of them," Quinn said, and Rachel was certain she could see a slight blush on her cheeks. "I know you probably have movies, but I didn't want to have to watch a musical."

Rachel huffed. "I don't only watch musicals, you know?"

Quinn shrugged. "They're the only ones you ever mention."

"I can assure you, I have a wide selection of movies," Rachel replied. "For future reference."

"I'll keep that in mind," Quinn said.

"So, what movies did you bring?" Rachel asked, heading into the living room.

"While You Were Sleeping, Heart and Souls, and My Best Friend's Wedding," Quinn replied.

"Three excellent movies," Rachel said with a smile. "Should I make some popcorn?"

"If you want to," Quinn said with a shrug.

"Is movie theater popcorn okay?" Rachel asked. "If not, we have several varieties you can choose from."

"That's fine," Quinn said.

"Great!" Rachel said, smiling. "I'll go fix it, then."

Rachel walked into the kitchen and over to the cabinet, pausing for a moment. It was still weird for her to have Quinn Fabray in her house and she really didn't know what to think of it. Not only to have her there but for Quinn to have brought movies as well. After a few seconds, though, she heard Quinn's footsteps, so she quickly opened up the cabinet and looked around for her favorite type of popcorn, finally seeing it on the top shelf between her Daddy's caramel popcorn and the sea salt and lime kind that her other father liked so much that the rest of them couldn't stand the smell of.

"I broke up with Finn," Quinn said from behind her.

Rachel froze, her hand hovering midair, halfway to the box of popcorn. For a second, she'd wondered if she'd heard Quinn correctly. Gossip spread like wildfire at McKinley, but she hadn't heard anything about Quinn and Finn breaking up, and it was certainly something she would hear. It would be the biggest gossip since the Cheerios and football players joined Glee.

"When?" Rachel asked, dropping her hand, and turning around.

"After school," Quinn answered.

"Why?" Rachel asked, shaking her head.

"Because you were right," Quinn replied. "It wasn't fair to him, and," Quinn sighed and looked up, avoiding Rachel's eyes, "there is something happening between us."

Even though it seemed to pain Quinn to say it, she couldn't help smiling. "You broke up with Finn for me."

"I didn't say that," Quinn said, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe you didn't say it in those exact words, but I believe that's what you meant," Rachel said, her smile growing.

"Can we not talk about this?" Quinn asked, looking away again.

"We have to talk about it sometime," Rachel remarked.

"Fine, but not today," Quinn said.

"Alright," Rachel replied. "We won't talk about it tonight. Tonight, we will just watch a movie."

Rachel turned around and smiled to herself. She almost couldn't believe that Quinn had broken up with Finn; she figured Quinn would hide behind her relationship for as long as possible. She guessed what she said really struck a chord with Quinn, though. Random kisses in the bathroom were one thing, but if Quinn was going to keep showing up at her house, that was a whole different matter. They were heading more into relationship territory, and that's not how Rachel wanted to start things. She didn't want to become Quinn's secret girlfriend while Finn held her hand down the hallways at school. It wouldn't be fair to any of them.

"So, do you have a movie preference?" Rachel asked, setting the bag in the microwave, hitting the button for popcorn, and turning around to look at Quinn.

"It doesn't matter to me," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded. "I guess I'll choose, and then maybe we can watch the others another time."

Quinn lightly shrugged and said, "Maybe."

Rachel gave Quinn a smile. It may not be a yes, but it would do.


	7. Don't Let Me Dance Alone

**Chapter 7 – Don't Let Me Dance Alone**

_July 27, 2010_

"I wish school wasn't starting back so soon," Rachel said as she played with a lock of Quinn's hair and listened to her heart beat, her head lying on Quinn's chest.

They still had a little under three weeks before school was starting back, but it wasn't enough for Rachel. She knew things were going to change and she didn't want them to. She liked being able to spend time with Quinn during the day instead of only Thursdays when her fathers weren't home. She didn't want to go back to being strangers at school—or even enemies—pretending as if they didn't care for one another. She hated pretending that Quinn didn't mean anything to her when the truth was that she'd fallen in love with Quinn Fabray and she hoped Quinn loved her back even though neither of them had actually said the words.

"I'm kind of glad," Quinn replied, shrugging.

"Really?" Rachel asked, looking up at her with a slight frown.

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "The quicker school starts, the quicker we'll graduate."

"You shouldn't wish your life away, Quinn," Rachel said, reaching up, and putting her hand on Quinn's cheek.

"That's easy for you to say," Quinn replied.

"Really?" Rachel asked. "You don't think I dislike many aspects of school? You, of all people, should know better."

Quinn looked away and Rachel didn't have to see her face to know she felt guilty. A lot of the way Rachel was treated at school was due to Quinn and her influence over the rest of the student body. When Quinn didn't like someone, the rest of the students tended to follow suit. And since Quinn was unwilling to reveal the fact that she and Rachel were dating or even friends, Rachel found herself the target of many of the school's bullies.

It was frustrating, but she didn't necessarily blame Quinn. She knew how scared Quinn had been, which caused her to lash out. It wasn't the most healthy reaction, but Rachel had quickly learned that Quinn often lashed out when she was afraid, and if she didn't do that, she would run away from it. Needless to say, it had made things between them a little difficult at times, but it was something Rachel accepted about Quinn.

"Do you have practice tomorrow?" Rachel asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"Is it in the morning or afternoon?" Rachel wondered.

"Morning," Quinn answered. "Coach Sylvester wants us on the football field at dawn."

Rachel scrunched up her nose at the thought. "How long do you think it will last?"

"I don't know," Quinn replied. "Probably until noon."

"Do you want to come over afterward?" Rachel asked.

"I can't," Quinn said, sighing. "My mom wants to go school shopping."

"Oh," Rachel replied.

She wished Quinn would invite her along, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Quinn had been very adamant about Rachel not meeting her parents. Rachel didn't really understand it and thought it was an overreaction. After all, it's not like Quinn's parents would know they were dating just by looking at them. But it wasn't even up for discussion; the times she did try to talk to Quinn about it, the other girl quickly shut the conversation down.

"You could always come over after," Rachel said, looking up at Quinn.

"I'll come over Thursday morning unless Coach Sylvester decides to have another practice," Quinn said.

"You know, you're welcome to come over when my fathers are here," Rachel replied.

She'd lost count of how many times she'd said those exact same words to Quinn to no avail. She could maybe understand why Quinn didn't want her meeting the elder Fabrays, but she didn't understand why Quinn was so against meeting her fathers. She'd tried assuring Quinn that her fathers would be happy to meet her and had no idea that any bullying had ever taken place, but nothing she said had changed Quinn's mind. She still tried on occasion, but with much less frequency than the first few months of their secret courtship.

"What time is it?" Quinn asked, ignoring what Rachel had said.

"It's almost three," Rachel replied. "Don't worry; my fathers won't be home for another two hours."

"I know, but I told my mom I would be home earlier than yesterday," Quinn said, sighing.

"Does she still think you're at Brittany's?" Rachel asked even though she already knew the answer.

"Yeah," Quinn replied, displacing Rachel as she sat up, and running her hand through her hair.

"Do you have to leave right now?" Rachel asked, really not wanting Quinn to leave just yet.

"If I don't, she'll start asking too many questions," Quinn said as she stood up from the bed.

Rachel didn't know why Quinn's mom would become suspicious just because her daughter was late one time, but she nodded, nevertheless. "I guess I will see you Thursday."

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

As Quinn began walking around, Rachel moved to the edge of the bed, her legs dangling over the side. She watched as Quinn grabbed her bag, looking around for anything she may have left. When she finally shouldered her bag, she looked over at Rachel and slowly started walking toward her.

Quinn stopped just in front of her and leaned down, bringing their lips together in a soft but lingering kiss. Rachel wanted to wrap her arms around Quinn's neck and pull her down again, but it would only slightly delay the inevitable and possibly get her in trouble with her mom. So, instead, Rachel put her hands in her lap and tried to not focus on the fact that she and Quinn were going to be apart until Thursday.

"I'll see you in a few days," Quinn softly said.

Rachel nodded and then gave Quinn a sad smile. "Yeah."

* * *

_August 24, 2010_

"It looks like Barbie's found her Ken," Kurt said, leaning against the locker next to Rachel's.

"What?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows.

Kurt nodded down the hall, behind Rachel. When she turned around, she found what Kurt was looking at. Quinn was at her locker, talking to some boy Rachel had never seen before. She instantly frowned at the sight, replaying Kurt's words in her head.

"You don't know that," Rachel said, quickly looking away from her girlfriend and the good looking guy she was conversing with.

Kurt's eyebrow rose. "Well, I doubt they're swapping cookie recipes." Kurt tilted his head. "Although, come to think of it, with that hair, he may play for the other team."

Rachel wanted to tell Kurt that there was nothing going on between Quinn and the mystery guy whatever his sexual orientation may be, but she remained quiet. Kurt was one of the biggest gossips in the school and she knew he would pounce at the information, grilling her on why she thought that and if she knew anything. So, Rachel kept her mouth shut even though she hated the idea of Kurt thinking her girlfriend was interested in someone else.

"I wonder if he's single," Kurt said, his eyebrow rising.

"I wouldn't know," Rachel tersely replied.

"I heard he transferred here from a boarding school," Kurt remarked. "I also heard he's trying to take Finn's quarterback spot, so it wouldn't surprise me if Quinn was interested. If he gets quarterback, he'll probably become the school's new golden boy. It would certainly boost her popularity."

Rachel bit her lip, trying not to say anything to Kurt. She hated thinking about Quinn and the new kid together as much as she hated thinking about Quinn and Finn. She knew Quinn never had any feelings for her ex-boyfriend, but that didn't mean she wasn't jealous of the time they had together. She hated that everyone knew Quinn and Finn were a couple, but not a single person knew the Cheerio was now with her. She understood that Quinn wasn't ready to come out, and as much as Rachel told herself it didn't mean anything, she couldn't help the nagging feeling that Quinn was ashamed of their relationship.

"Mercedes," Kurt called out.

"Hey, Kurt," Mercedes said, smiling at him, and then glancing at Rachel.

"What do you know about the new kid?" Kurt said, motioning toward him.

"Not a lot," Mercedes said, shrugging. "I think his name is Sam and I've heard he's trying to become quarterback. I can imagine Finn isn't very happy about that."

"No," Kurt replied. "I overheard him talking to my dad. Apparently this Sam kid is pretty good; Finn's afraid the new coach is going to pick him, instead."

"I see Quinn's on the prowl," Mercedes remarked. "She probably heard he's set to become the new quarterback and thought she'd get to him before every other girl."

"They're just talking," Rachel interjected. "That doesn't mean they're interested in dating."

"Oh, please," Mercedes replied. "Look at them. They're both gorgeous. How long do you think it'll be before they become the new it couple?"

"Who says they're both single?" Rachel asked.

"Well, Quinn is, and if he isn't, it's only a matter of time," Mercedes said.

Rachel huffed as she deliberately didn't look down the hallway. Even if she believed nothing was going on between Quinn and Sam, she still didn't like seeing them together. Especially when Kurt and Mercedes were talking like their becoming a couple was a done deal. Not to mention that little voice in the back of her mind that was questioned her relationship with Quinn. She tried not to be insecure about it, but sometimes it was easier said than done given their situation.

"Maybe she'll get him to join the Glee Club," Kurt commented.

"What are you talking about?" Mercedes asked.

"You didn't hear?" Kurt asked. "Finn tried to get him to join, but he wouldn't. I guess he heard him singing in the locker room one day."

"Why would Finn try to get him to join if they're rivals?" Mercedes asked.

"Maybe he figures it'll help his chances if Sam is a loser like the rest of us," Kurt replied.

"Speak for yourself," Mercedes said.

"I just mean we're not exactly on top of the social ladder," Kurt replied. "He probably thinks if Sam is like the rest of us, he won't become more popular than him. Or maybe he wants Quinn back and he thinks it'll help his chances."

"Why would he want Quinn back when she dumped him?" Mercedes asked.

Kurt shrugged. "Because she's Quinn. What guy at this school doesn't want her on his arm?"

"You," Mercedes replied, smiling at Kurt.

"Can we talk about something else?" Rachel asked.

"Why?" Mercedes asked back. "What else is going on at this school to talk about? Sam and Quinn would be big news."

"Maybe we could all start focusing on Sectionals," Rachel replied. "After all, it's only a few months away, and if we want to win Nationals this year, we need to start preparing as soon as possible."

"Sectionals is in November," Kurt stated.

"You don't think Vocal Adrenaline isn't already preparing for it?" Rachel asked. "They may have a new coach and their star may have graduated, but that doesn't mean they're going to be any easier to beat this year. I'm sure they're rehearsing every day, and we should be doing the same."

"Or we could have lives," Mercedes replied.

"We can have lives when we win Nationals." Rachel said, closing her locker a little more forcefully than she'd intended.

"I'm all for beating Vocal Adrenaline, but Mercedes is right," Kurt replied. "We're not going to beat Vocal Adrenaline by becoming them. We're going to beat them because of our differences."

"Amen," Mercedes said.

"Fine," Rachel replied. "If you want to worry more about who's dating who, then you do that, but I'm going to worry about what's important."

Rachel turned on her heel and began walking down the hallway. Unfortunately, her classroom was a little past Quinn's locker. She did her best not to look at Quinn with Sam but she couldn't help glancing at them as she passed by. And all she could notice was the look in Sam's eyes as he talked to her girlfriend, giving her little doubt that the boy was interested in Quinn.

* * *

_September 16, 2010_

"Why are you doing this?" Rachel asked.

"I told you why," Quinn replied.

"So you're okay with using Sam and hurting me in the process?" Rachel asked.

"I'm not using anyone, and you have nothing to worry about," Quinn replied through gritted teeth.

"I'm sure Sam would see it differently if he knew the truth," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips.

"You don't think he isn't using me to become popular?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head and said, "He likes you, Quinn."

"He doesn't even know me," Quinn said, rolling her eyes.

"He doesn't have to," Rachel replied. "I saw it the first time you two were talking. Anyone could see it."

"Why do we keep having these same arguments?" Quinn asked.

"Because they're still valid," Rachel replied, trying to keep her voice at its normal level but failing.

"It's not like Sam and I are going out," Quinn said.

"You're going to the Homecoming dance together," Rachel said, shaking her head, and trying to keep her tears at bay.

"It's just a dance," Quinn replied. "What was I going to say? If I said no, everyone was going to wonder why."

Rachel looked away as she felt a tear slip down her cheek. She hated that she was crying and that Quinn was seeing it happen. It wasn't the first time, though, and she knew it probably wouldn't be the last. Rachel was naturally an emotional person and it seemed to come out even more when Quinn was involved.

"You know I can't risk my parents finding out about us," Quinn said. "If they ever found out, they would kick me out. Or worse. No one can ever know."

"I know!" Rachel replied. "I just don't like that you're going to the dance with Sam."

It wasn't necessarily the fact that Quinn was going with Sam, but that she was going with anyone that wasn't her. She knew it wasn't an option for them to go together, but that didn't mean they had to have other people as their dates. Of course, she guessed it could be worse. Quinn could be going with Finn, who she had a history with, or Puck, who tried to get in the pants of every girl that walked in his general vicinity.

"I'm only going with Sam because he asked," Quinn said, taking a few steps toward Rachel. "I wasn't planning on going with anyone, but I couldn't really say no. You're the one I wish I could spend it with, but I can't."

Rachel wanted to point out that she could, but she wouldn't. Rather than continue fighting with Quinn, though, Rachel nodded, letting the subject drop. She still wasn't happy that Quinn was going to the dance with Sam, but she knew arguing about it wouldn't get her anywhere. Since they were both stubborn, one of them had to yield, and she knew it wasn't going to be Quinn.

With a light sigh, Rachel turned and walked over to the window, looking out at the evening sky. The sun was just beginning to set, and if she wasn't still upset, she probably would have appreciated the orange and pink-hued sky.

"Rachel," Quinn softly said from behind her, and after a few moments, Rachel turned around to look at Quinn, leaning back against the windowsill.

"What do you want to do this evening?" Rachel asked, not really wanting to talk anymore.

"I don't want you to be mad," Quinn said, ignoring her question.

"I'm not mad," Rachel replied.

Quinn cocked her eyebrow, obviously not believing her. "You're not?"

"No," Rachel replied. "I'm frustrated, but I'm not mad."

"You don't think this isn't frustrating for me, too?" Quinn asked. "I didn't ask for any of this."

"Well, I'm sorry you find being with me so difficult," Rachel replied, crossing her arms over her chest, and looking away.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it," Quinn said. "I just wish I didn't have to worry about my parents disowning me or trying to send me away. And I already get enough crap for being in the Glee Club. I don't need it to get worse because of who I'm dating, and I doubt you want it to get worse for you, either." Quinn sighed. "I just want to make it through high school."

"I know," Rachel replied, slowly looking over at Quinn.

She knew all too well; they'd had this same conversation many times. It was the first thing they had really fought about, and nothing had changed since then. She knew they were both frustrated with the situation, but there really wasn't anything they could do to make both of them happy. She knew she was just going to have to accept that. At least for now.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Rachel asked after a few moments of silence, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "Sure."

Rachel pushed off the windowsill and walked over to her bed. Before she sat down, she turned and looked at Quinn, taking her hand, and pulling her toward the bed.

"What do you want to watch?" Quinn asked, allowing Rachel to pull her forward.

"I believe I chose last time," Rachel replied, dropping Quinn's hand, and crawling toward the middle of the bed.

"Are you sure?" Quinn asked.

Rachel offered the remote control to Quinn when she sat next to her and said, "Positive."

"What movies did I bring last time?" Quinn asked.

Rachel opened the drawer to her nightstand and pulled out the three movies Quinn had brought several weeks prior. Since their tastes were quite different, they took turns choosing a movie so it was fair. They couldn't go to the movies like a normal couple, so watching a movie in Rachel's room was the closest they could get to it.

"You pick," Quinn said.

"But it's your turn," Rachel replied.

Quinn shrugged. "I brought them all, so it doesn't really matter."

Rachel looked down at the movies and then picked up Stardust, handing it to Quinn. Rachel watched as Quinn stood and put the movie in before coming back to the bed and sitting exactly where she'd been. And as she watched her girlfriend, she couldn't help thinking about how she really didn't want to be with anyone else even if things weren't perfect. She loved Quinn and she really couldn't imagine her life without her.

* * *

_October 9, 2010_

Rachel sat at a table with Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina, watching everyone else around her having fun. Even the other three people at the table were in good spirits, but Rachel couldn't help feeling a little down. Thankfully, she hadn't had to watch Quinn and Sam dance very much, but that didn't make her feel a whole lot better. Not when she wished she could dance with Quinn, but she knew that was never going to happen.

"Okay, what's wrong with you?" Mercedes asked, sounding annoyed.

"Nothing," Rachel lied.

"You've been moping since you got here, so don't tell me nothing's wrong," Mercedes replied.

She knew Mercedes didn't actually care; she probably just didn't like that Rachel was putting a damper on her mood. As Mercedes looked at her, clearly waiting for an answer, Rachel's eyes drifted over to Quinn, who was sitting with Santana, Brittany, and several other Cheerios. Fortunately, Sam was nowhere to be seen, sparing Rachel from having to watch the boy with her girlfriend.

"Well," Mercedes said when Rachel didn't say anything.

"I told you, there's nothing wrong," Rachel replied, looking over at Mercedes.

"Kurt, back me up here," Mercedes said.

"I have to agree with Mercedes," Kurt stated. "You look like someone told you Barbra has laryngitis.

"Guys, leave her alone," Tina said.

"Thank you, Tina," Rachel replied.

Rachel looked over at Quinn again, and to her surprise, the blonde was looking back at her. Quinn's eyebrow rose and she discreetly nodded toward the door before saying something to Santana. A moment later, Quinn stood and walked toward the exit, glancing around as she neared the door. When she finally reached the door, she looked at Rachel again, cocking her eyebrow once more as she pushed on the handle, leaving the gymnasium.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom," Rachel lied as she stood up from her seat.

Rachel walked toward a different exit, not wanting to appear like she was following Quinn. When she entered the hallway, she glanced around, trying to see where Quinn had went, but she was nowhere to be seen. So, Rachel walked down the hall, glancing into classrooms, but as far as she could tell, Quinn wasn't in any of them. When she finally rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, she still didn't see Quinn, but the choir room door was open and she knew where her girlfriend must be.

"Quinn?" Rachel called when she walked into the room.

"Close the door," Quinn said, her back to Rachel as she walked to the other side of the room.

Rachel did as she was told, closing the door as Quinn checked on the other door. She didn't know what Quinn was up to, but there was black construction paper covering the small window in the door, and when she walked toward the middle of the room, she noticed the other door was the same way.

"What are we doing in here?" Rachel asked, her eyes following Quinn as she walked toward the middle of the room.

"You'll see," Quinn said with a light shrug as she walked to the other side of the piano.

Rachel curiously watched as Quinn walked over to the shelves at the front of the room and moved the whiteboard to the side. Quinn looked over her shoulder at Rachel and then hit a button on the stereo. A few moments later, the soft music filled the room and Rachel instantly recognized the song.

"Truly Madly Deeply?" Rachel asked, smiling at Quinn.

Quinn just shrugged, but Rachel's smile only grew. She'd once offhandedly mentioned that her dream in middle school was for someone to sing the song to her. This wasn't quite Quinn serenading her, but when her girlfriend walked over and took her hand, she figured it was just as good.

"When did you do this?" Rachel asked, nodding toward the CD player as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck.

"After practice," Quinn answered. "I told Coach Sylvester I needed the keys so I could burn all the sheet music for the Journey songs."

Rachel laughed lightly as the two swayed to the music. "I can't believe you did this."

"I know you're not happy that I came here with Sam," Quinn said, looking down at her. "I figured we could at least have a dance together even if we can't do it out there."

Rachel nodded and then rested her head against Quinn's shoulder, closing her eyes. She wished they could have more than once dance, but she was still happy they could have a moment together. It was certainly more than she was expecting, and maybe one day they would be able to share a dance in front of everyone without being afraid.

"Quinn," Rachel said, lifting her head, and looking up at her.

"Yeah?" Quinn asked.

Rachel hesitated for a moment, opening her mouth several times before finally saying, "I love you, Quinn."

A look passed over Quinn's face that Rachel couldn't quite decipher. And after being with Quinn for nearly seven months, she knew Quinn very well. With every moment that passed, Rachel become more and more worried that she shouldn't have said anything, but then Quinn smiled and softly replied, "I love you, too."

Rachel leaned up, bringing their lips together, and Quinn wrapped her arms more tightly around Rachel's waist. The night may not have been perfect, but she couldn't be happier. Quinn loved her and that's all that really mattered.


	8. What Hurts the Most

**Chapter 8 – What Hurts the Most**

_March 4, 2011_

Rachel shifted her head on her pillow, looking over at Quinn, who had her eyes closed. She couldn't tell if her girlfriend was awake or asleep, though she was inclined to think the latter. She wanted to whisper Quinn's name to see if she would respond, but she really didn't want to disturb her if she was sleeping. So, Rachel continued watching her chest rise and fall with every breath, wondering how she was so lucky to be with someone as beautiful as Quinn.

"You know, it's a little creepy to be stared at."

Rachel jumped slightly and then huffed as Quinn smirked, her eyes still closed. "That's not funny. You scared me."

"It was a little funny," Quinn replied, turning her head, and looking at Rachel.

Rachel couldn't be too angry; she actually wished Quinn would let her playful side come out more often. As far as she could tell, she was the only one Quinn really acted like that around. At school, she was so serious and acted like, as Kurt called it, the head bitch in charge. But when they were alone, Quinn wasn't so serious; she was fun and flirty and actually had a goofy, nerdy side that she seemed to keep hidden from everyone else.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked after a few moments.

"Yes," Rachel answered. "You didn't scare me that badly."

"No, I meant—are you okay?" Quinn asked again.

"Oh, yes," Rachel said, unable to keep her smile contained. "Are you?"

"I don't think I've ever been more okay," Quinn replied.

Rachel leaned down, placing a soft but lingering kiss on Quinn's lips. Rachel was definitely okay; in fact, she'd never been better, and she was happy to hear Quinn had no regrets, either.

Since her fathers were away on vacation, Quinn had come over like she usually did when Rachel's fathers were gone for the evening, but things had escalated. She hadn't necessarily planned it, but it was something she knew would happen sooner or later. After all, they did love each other and had been dating for nearly a year. It was only natural that things were going to progress to that next level.

"Do you think your parents would let you spend the night?" Rachel asked.

"I already told them I was going to spend the night at Brittany's," Quinn said. "And by Brittany's I mean—"

"Here," Rachel finished for her before sitting up on her elbow and pausing for a moment. "Quinn Fabray! You mean you planned all along to get me in bed tonight!"

Quinn laughed, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink, but she didn't refute it. Rachel smiled at the sight, thinking it was cute that Quinn was embarrassed. Rachel didn't think Quinn had any reason to be embarrassed, though.

"You know I'm only teasing," Rachel said, pulling Quinn's hand away from her face, and lacing their fingers together. "I'm just happy you don't regret anything."

"Why would I regret anything?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shrugged. "You could have realized you've made a mistake."

"That isn't going to happen," Quinn stated.

"Quinn—can I ask you something?" Rachel said, knowing this probably wasn't the best time to talk about this, but figuring no time would be great.

"What?" Quinn asked, and Rachel could hear the wariness in her voice.

"I love you, and I'm happy we're together, but I think we can both admit that it hasn't always been easy," Rachel began, but then she sighed, figuring she shouldn't beat around the bush. "I want to go to the prom. With you."

"Are you serious?" Quinn asked, all humor gone from her face.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "Prom is a big milestone and I want to be able to go with my girlfriend. Homecoming was great, and I'm happy we were able to dance together, but I would like us to be able to do that all evening."

"Rachel, we can't go to prom together," Quinn said, shaking her head.

"Why not?" Rachel asked. "I know you're concerned about how people are going to react, but we can't hide forever. You can't hide forever. I know you're concerned about your popularity, but some things are more important than that."

"That's easy for you to say; you're the one with nothing to lose," Quinn replied. "But I have everything to lose."

"You won't lose everything," Rachel argued. "Everyone in the Glee Club will be there for you. You also won't lose me."

"But I will if I don't go to the prom with you?" Quinn spat.

"That's not what I said," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I'm just asking that you think about it."

"And what about my parents?" Quinn asked. "What am I going to do when they kick me out?"

"If you would let me explain what's going on to my fathers, I'm sure they'll let you stay in the spare bedroom should your parents react badly," Rachel replied.

Quinn shook her head. "No. You're not telling your dads."

"Why not, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "They wouldn't tell anyone and you would have two adults on your side. I know you're scared, but I really think they could help."

"No," Quinn repeated.

Rachel sighed, looking down. She hated that Quinn was too stubborn to even think about it. As much as Rachel loved her, it was becoming more and more difficult to continue lying to everyone. There was a huge part of her life that she couldn't speak to anyone about, not even her fathers, who she usually confided in about everything. It was hard keeping such a big secret from everyone, but she'd been willing to do it because it meant being with Quinn. Now, though, she at least wanted them to be able to discuss the possibility of telling someone without Quinn automatically dismissing it.

"Will you at least think about?" Rachel asked.

"Fine," Quinn replied, although Rachel had a feeling she'd already made up her mind and there was no changing it.

* * *

_April 28, 2011_

"I can't do this is anymore."

Rachel almost couldn't believe the words had left her mouth. Part of her wanted to take them back, but the other part of her didn't. She loved Quinn, but she just couldn't continue living a lie.

"Do you expect this to make me change my mind?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head, trying to keep her tears from falling. "I don't expect you to do anything." Rachel looked down as a tear began trailing its way down her cheek. "We want opposite things. I want to go to prom with you and you want to pretend I mean nothing to you when we're in public. I can't live like this any longer."

"Fine," Quinn replied, and Rachel looked up just in time to watch her turn on her heel and walk out of the choir room.

Rachel's legs began to shake and she slowly sunk down to the floor. Rachel's eyes slammed shut, but she was no longer able to hold her tears back. Her face quickly became damp and her sobs soon echoed through the empty room.

She hadn't planned on breaking up with Quinn, but yet she couldn't keep going on the way she was. She just couldn't keep lying to every single person in her life. And Quinn obviously wasn't willing to tell anyone the truth, which hurt. She knew Quinn was scared, but she couldn't help feeling like the blonde was ashamed of their relationship.

Rachel had been doing everything Quinn wanted, but Quinn wasn't willing to make any concessions. It wasn't like Rachel wanted to tell everyone about them; she just wanted to be able to tell her fathers and her friends. Yes, Rachel would love to be able to go to the prom with Quinn, but really she would have been happy if she could just tell one person so she would actually be able to talk to someone about it instead of keeping everything inside. But Quinn wasn't willing to let her do that. Quinn wasn't willing to fight for her, which is what hurt the most.

Quinn had said numerous times that she loved her, but she had just walked away without looking back. She didn't try to get Rachel to change her mind or try to get her to talk about it. She just didn't fight for her. Rachel didn't even know if she expected Quinn to, but the moment Quinn began walking away and Rachel realized she wasn't going to say anything to fight for their relationship, she felt like she was dying inside.

"Rachel?"

She didn't have to look up to know it was Finn who had spoken. She wished she could pretend like nothing was wrong, but the fact that she was on her knees crying kind of made that impossible.

"Why are you crying?" Finn asked, sounding closer than he had.

Rachel shook her head, unable to say anything. Her tears were still flowing freely and she doubted they were going to slow anytime soon. She had always been the type of person who cried fairly easily, but now that she had just broken up with the person she loved most in the world, she didn't stand a chance of her tears dissipating.

"Hey, um." Finn didn't say anything else, obviously not knowing what to say when he found a girl sobbing in the choir room. After a few seconds, though, she felt his strong arms around her, his hand awkwardly patting her back. She would have found it funny if she didn't feel like her heart had just been shattered into a million pieces.

"Hey, what happened?" Finn asked. "Did Karofsky or someone do something to you."

Rachel shook her head again but still didn't say anything. She thought about telling Finn the truth, but she'd promised Quinn she wouldn't tell anyone, and she wasn't going to break that promise even now. Quinn obviously cared more about keeping her secret than being with Rachel, and even though that knowledge hurt more than anything she'd ever experienced, she wasn't a vindictive person. Quinn had trusted her with her secret and Rachel wasn't going to breach that trust.

"You're sort of freaking me out here, Rachel," Finn said.

"I'm sorry," Rachel choked out.

"Do you want a ride home?" Finn asked. "One of your dads usually comes, don't they? Nothing happened to them, did it? Is that why you're cry?"

"No," Rachel replied, shaking her head. "It's not that."

"What is it, then?" Finn asked.

Rachel appreciated that Finn was concerned about her, but she really wished he would leave her alone. If it was possible, his being there made her feel even worse than she already did. After all, she had kissed Quinn several times while he was dating her and was the reason Quinn had dumped him. So the fact that he was trying to console her just made her feel guilty on top of feeling like she was going to die from a broken heart.

"Let me take you home," Finn offered.

"I'm okay, Finn," Rachel lied. "You should go home."

"I can't just leave you here," Finn replied. "Look, you don't have to tell me what's wrong, but at least let me take you home."

Rachel sniffed and opened her mouth to decline again, but a new wave of tears hit her. And even though Finn certainly wasn't the first person she would pick to be there, she found herself burying her face into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around her again, and for several minutes, he let her cry without speaking. She wasn't sure if it was because he didn't know what to say or if he figured it was best to let her get it out. Whatever the reason, she was thankful for it.

"Do you think you can stand?" Finn asked when her tears started to dry up.

Rachel nodded and allowed Finn to help her up. Her legs were still shaky, and for a moment, she thought she was going to fall back to the floor, but Finn's arm was on her waist, steadying her.

"I gotta stop by my locker first," Finn said. "Is that okay?"

Rachel nodded and then began walking with Finn out of the choir room. As they walked down the hall, Finn kept glancing at her, and she knew he was worried she was going to burst out into tears again, but she no longer felt like crying. Now, she just felt numb.

* * *

_May 7, 2011_

"It looks like Sam and Quinn are officially an item," Kurt remarked, looking over Rachel's shoulder.

"We all knew it was only a matter of time," Mercedes replied.

Rachel felt like someone had punched her in the stomach when she turned and looked at Sam and Quinn dancing together. Quinn was smiling as Sam spun her around, looking like she didn't have a care in the world. Then again, she probably didn't.

"Hey, Rachel," Finn said, walking around a dancing couple to get to her.

"Hello, Finn," Rachel said, smiling at him as if nothing was wrong.

"Mr. Schue's looking for you," Finn replied. "He says you're on."

"Oh, that's right," Rachel said, looking toward the stage.

"What's wrong with you?" Mercedes asked. "Did you forget you're supposed to sing."

"Of course not," Rachel replied. "I simply lost track of time. Thank you for reminding me, Finn."

Truthfully, she had forgotten. Her mind had been elsewhere lately, especially that day. She really didn't want to go to her junior prom after everything that had happened, but she had little choice. The Glee Club was the entertainment for the evening and Mr. Schue had made it mandatory for them all to attend. She'd tried to talk to the teacher, saying it was unfair for them to have to go, but he hadn't budged.

As Rachel walked to the side of the stage and waited for Tina and Brittany to be done, she couldn't help glancing over at Quinn. She didn't understand how her ex-girlfriend could look so carefree when she felt like the world was crumbling around her. Rachel didn't even want to get out of bed most mornings, but Quinn hadn't looked at all phased by their breakup. Even the day after it happened, Quinn had come to school, looking completely normal, whereas Rachel has come with bags under her eyes from crying all night.

"There you are," Mr. Schue said, coming up from behind. "You're on, Rachel."

Rachel nodded and walked onto the stage, passing Tina and Brittany on her way to the microphone. The music began playing the moment she stepped up to it, and Rachel looked down, trying to keep her eyes off Quinn as she began singing.

"_No, I can't take one more step towards you  
_'_Cause all that's waiting is regret  
__And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore  
__You lost the love  
__I loved the most_

"_I learned to live, half alive  
__And now you want me one more time"_

Rachel couldn't seem to stop herself from looking up as the chorus began. Quinn and Sam were still dancing together and Rachel felt tears spring to her eyes. She blinked them back as she looked away, trying to focus on the back wall instead of Quinn in someone else's arms.

"_And who do you think you are?  
__Runnin' round leaving scars  
__Collecting your jar of hearts  
__And tearing love apart  
__You're gonna catch a cold  
__From the ice inside your soul  
__So don't come back for me  
__Who do you think you are?"_

Rachel closed her eyes, willing the words to come out of her mouth without her voice cracking. She didn't want Quinn knowing her heart broke more and more every day when she couldn't care less that their relationship was over. She thought Quinn not fighting for her was what hurt the most, but she was wrong. Watching Quinn be completely fine with their breakup hurt even more.

"_I hear you're asking all around  
__If I am anywhere to be found  
__But I have grown too strong  
__To ever fall back in your arms_

When Rachel's eyes drifted over to Quinn, she was looking over Sam's shoulder at her. Rachel wanted to look away, but before she could do that, her eyes locked with Quinn's.

"_Dear, it took so long just to feel alright  
__Remember how to put back the light in my eyes  
__I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed  
_'_Cause you broke all your promises  
_

"_And now you're back  
__You don't get to get me back"_

A tear slowly slid down Rachel's cheek when Quinn looked away, putting her head on Sam's shoulder. She didn't bother wiping it away, knowing everyone was too busy in their own little world to ever notice. Plus, why did it matter if anyone did noticed? The only person that mattered wouldn't even care if she did see it.

"_And who do you think you are?  
__Runnin round leaving scars  
__Collecting your jar of hearts  
__And tearing love apart  
__You're gonna catch a cold  
__From the ice inside your soul  
__Don't come back for me  
__Don't come back at all_

"_Who do you think you are?  
__Who do you think you are?  
__Who do you think you are?"_

Rachel's voice cracked at the end and she quickly walked off stage the moment the song was over. She passed by Puck on the way, who gave her a slightly confused look but didn't ask any questions. As soon as she was off the stage, she immediately walked toward the nearest exit, wanting to get away from the dance as quickly as possible. She knew they were going to be announcing the prom queen soon, and she really didn't feel like watching Quinn win.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Home," Rachel answered without turning around to look at Kurt.

"The dance isn't over," Kurt replied.

"It is for me," Rachel said, turning around.

"Have you been crying?" Kurt asked. "Did you mess up a note?"

Rachel shook her head and covered her face with her hands, letting out a slight sob before her tears began flowing. She'd hoped to get out of the school before she completely broke down, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

"Rachel, what happened?" Kurt asked.

Rachel shook her head again. She couldn't tell Kurt why she was crying even though she wished more than anything that she could talk to someone about it. She felt like she was dying inside and she couldn't even tell anyone why. Thankfully, Kurt didn't ask any more questions; instead, he wrapped his arms around her and let her to cry on his shoulder.

* * *

_May 14, 2011_

"Rachel!"

Rachel ignored Mr. Schue's calls as she ran past, getting as far away from the stage as she could. She couldn't believe she had done it; after all their preparation for Nationals, she had screwed everything up for everyone. She didn't even need the results to know they had just lost and it was all her fault.

Everyone had been so confident that they would win. Their set list full of original songs was going to give them the edge they needed to take down Vocal Adrenaline and they would no longer have to worry about Principal Figgins cutting the Glee Club at any moment. But their original songs had turned out to be their downfall.

Rachel—with some help from Finn—had written the song. Since she couldn't talk to anyone about her relationship and subsequent breakup with Quinn, she had poured all her energy into writing the song in hopes of getting some of it off her chest. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of looking offstage during the duet with Finn. Quinn was standing there, waiting for the rest of them to make their entrance, and Rachel had been unable to keep it together. By the end of the song, she had started crying, and had no choice but to stay on stage. They had two other songs to sing, after all, and she couldn't just run off. As soon as their set was over, she finally bolted from the stage, knowing her little breakdown had just costed them Nationals.

"Rachel!"

This time, it wasn't Mr. Schue calling out. She'd slowed down a bit as she made her way into the lobby, but she didn't stop even when she heard several sets of footsteps following her.

"Rachel!" Kurt tried again.

"Wait up!" Finn called out, sounding slightly out of breath.

"Rachel, you know how much I hate running!" Kurt added.

The lobby was crowded, making it much more difficult to make a fast getaway. It didn't take Kurt and Finn long to catch up to her, the former grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Let me go, Kurt," Rachel quietly said.

"What just happened?" Kurt asked.

"Nothing happened," Rachel lied.

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "You just started crying on stage and then you ran off. I wouldn't call that nothing."

"You know I can get emotional while singing," Rachel replied.

"This wasn't just you getting emotional," Kurt argued, putting his hands on his hips.

"Did something happen?" Finn asked. "I mean, this isn't the first time I've found you crying. And Kurt told me you were crying at the prom."

"It's nothing to worry about," Rachel said. "I've just been a little extra emotional lately."

"Well, it was a terrible time to get extra emotional," Kurt replied.

"You don't think I know that?" Rachel asked. "We've all worked so hard and I just messed everything up."

"I'm sure no one's gonna blame you," Finn replied.

"Santana will," Kurt stated. "As we were leaving the stage, she was practically yelling. I don't speak Spanish, but whatever she was saying, it didn't sound good."

"Okay, maybe Santana will, but the rest of us won't," Finn said.

"You don't have to try to make me feel better," Rachel replied, hanging her head. "I know this is my fault."

She still couldn't believe it had happened. She and Finn had rehearsed the song at least a dozen of times without incident except when it really mattered. If she just hadn't looked off stage, everything would have been okay. Unfortunately, Finn had gone the opposite way from the way they rehearsed it, leaving Rachel facing stage left with Quinn in her periphery. As much as she tried to stay focused on Finn, she'd ultimately failed.

"You don't know that we lost," Finn said, giving her a small smile. "You could just be worried for nothing."

"I barely made it through the last half of the song," Rachel pointed out. "I don't think I impressed the judges with that performance. Certainly not enough to beat Vocal Adrenaline."

She hated herself for failing the team. Two years of hard work had just gone down the drain because she couldn't keep her emotions in check. How was she ever going to become a Broadway star if she couldn't give a spectacular performance no matter what? With her luck, someone was probably filming the performance and would put it on the internet for all the world to see. Future casting directors were probably going to see it and all her dreams of being on Broadway would come crashing down.

"Let's go back in," Finn said, nodding toward the auditorium entrance. "The last group is on right now and then they're gonna post the results."

Rachel shook her head; she didn't need to see the results to know they had already lost. "I'm going to stay out here."

"But we should be with the rest of the team," Finn replied.

"You're right, you should be," Rachel said.

"I mean all of us," Finn replied.

"Why don't you go in?" Kurt asked. "I'll stay out here with Rachel."

"But—"

"We'll be okay," Kurt interrupted.

Finn frowned, but turned, nevertheless, glancing over his shoulder as he walked toward the door. Rachel was thankful she only had to deal with Kurt now, but she'd much rather be left alone entirely. She knew that wasn't going to happen, though. Kurt was already eyeing her, obviously waiting for her to say something. Or maybe he just thought she was going to break down again at any moment and was waiting for it to happen.

"Are you going to tell me what just happened in there?" Kurt asked after a prolonged period of silence.

"There's nothing to tell," Rachel replied.

"Rachel, this is the second time this month that I found you crying," Kurt said.

"You know me, Kurt," Rachel replied. "I'm overly dramatic by nature."

Kurt narrowed his eyes, clearly not believing her, but Rachel didn't care. For once, she didn't want to talk about it; she just wanted to forget that it ever happened. Not only what happened on stage, but her entire relationship with Quinn.

* * *

**The song Rachel sung was Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.**


	9. A New Beginning

**Chapter 9 – A New Beginning**

_August 15, 2011_

Rachel couldn't help pausing when she saw Quinn halfway down the hallway. She had been free from her presence all summer, but now that school was back in session, she'd known that was going to come to an end. She just hadn't expected to see her practically the moment she walked into the building.

Rachel lifted her chin and squared her shoulders, forging ahead after only a moment's pause. This was a new school year and she wasn't going to let Quinn Fabray ruin her senior year. The end of her junior year had been a bit of a disaster and she wasn't going to let the same thing happened that year. The Glee Club was going to get to Nationals again and she was going to redeem herself, and the only way she was going to be able to that was if she put Quinn out of her mind. And that was exactly what she was determined to do.

She'd done a lot of thinking over the summer, and she knew she needed to move on with her life. Quinn obviously already had, and if she didn't care about Rachel, then Rachel wasn't going to care about her. Quinn had clearly never been in love with Rachel the way she had been in love with her. If she had, she wouldn't have been able to move on so quickly. Quinn hadn't shown one bit of emotion, though, leaving Rachel with no doubt that their relationship hadn't meant anything to the blonde.

"Hey, Rach."

"Hello, Finn," Rachel said, giving him a small smile as she stopped at her locker.

"You have a good summer?" Finn asked. "I didn't really see you around anywhere."

"I kept quite busy," Rachel replied. "This is our senior year, after all; I thought I would make the most of my free time, so I devoted the summer to preparing for my future."

"What'd you do?" Finn asked.

"I helped out with a few local musical productions, I signed up for three different dance classes, and I took vocal lessons for a few weeks," Rachel replied. "The vocal lessons didn't really work out. I was far too advanced for the teacher, and it was a waste of both of our time. So, instead, I used that time to rehearse on my own."

"Didn't you do anything fun?" Finn asked.

"I can have fun after I've received a Tony for my stunning Broadway debut," Rachel stated.

Truthfully, it had as much to do with keeping busy as it did preparing for her future. If she was busy, she didn't have as much time to think of Quinn, obsessing over every little thing that happened between them and analyzing every conversation they had as she wondered if she ever meant anything to the other girl. The productions and classes were part of her moving on, because if she could get out of Lima, she could leave her past behind, never thinking of Quinn again.

"Oh, I also devised a plan to get us back to Nationals," Rachel added. "It's going to take a lot of hard work on everyone's part, but it will be worth it when we bring that trophy back to McKinley."

"You're already thinking of Nationals?" Finn asked. "That's like, a year from now."

"Actually, it's only nine months away," Rachel replied.

"Whatever," Finn said, shaking his head. "Kurt, tell Rachel it's way too soon to start thinking about Nationals."

"I don't know," Kurt replied. "Maybe we should start thinking about it. This is the last year for a lot of us, and I know I don't want to come home empty handed again."

"Thank you, Kurt," Rachel said.

"Then maybe we shouldn't let Rachel have all the solos if she's going to start having a complete breakdown in the middle of them," Mercedes said from behind Finn.

"It wasn't her fault," Finn said.

"While I appreciate you defending me, we all know that it was my fault," Rachel replied. "And that's why I will do everything I can to ensure our win this year. That's why I'm going to propose the Glee Club meeting every day after school or in the morning. We should be meeting more than three times a week. Vocal Adrenaline rehearses every morning, during lunch, and after school."

"Look, we don't need you trying to take over Glee," Mercedes said.

"I'm not trying to take over anything," Rachel argued. "I simply want to increase our chances of winning Nationals this year."

"You're crazy if you think Mr. Schue's gonna go for that," Mercedes said.

"Who says he has to be there for us to meet?" Rachel asked.

"He is kinda the one in charge," Finn said.

"And you and I are co-captains," Rachel replied, looking up at Finn. "We were voted into that position for a reason."

"Yeah, because no one else wanted it," Mercedes said.

Rachel huffed. "Be that as it may, we should set an example to everyone else. If they see us working hard, they'll want to work hard themselves."

"No one's going to want to come here before school," Mercedes stated.

"I think you should have a little more faith in your friends, Mercedes," Rachel replied. "I believe we all want to become champions this year, and most of us are willing to do what it takes to get there. Now if you'll excuse me, I would like to get to class early to get a decent seat."

Rachel put her bag with a change of clothes inside her locker and then closed it, turning on her heel, and walking down the hallway without another word. As she passed by Quinn, she kept her eyes forward, resisting the urge to look at the blonde. This was a new school year and she wasn't going to waste any more of her time on Quinn. She'd already wasted the last two years of her life and she was determined to not waste another moment.

* * *

_September 9, 2011_

"That was awesome!" Mr. Schue said, clapping louder than everyone else. "Now that's what I meant when I was talking about showing emotion."

Rachel rolled her eyes as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. She showed emotion every time she performed, and she did it much better than Blaine. In her opinion, he usually looked constipated when it was singing, and constipation was not an emotion. She didn't understand why Mr. Schue was praising Blaine for something she did every time she performed, yet he was never that enthusiastic when it came to her.

"Alright, guys, I want everyone to remember what we talked about this week," Mr. Schue said as Blaine took his seat. Sectionals are in a few months, and we need to use everything we can to beat the competition. They may no longer have their best singer, but the Warblers are still a threat."

Rachel huffed; the Warblers wouldn't be a threat if Mr. Schue would have taken her suggestion. She'd brought up having a meeting once a day during the school week, but he had rejected her idea the moment she proposed it. And instead of having some ransom assignment each week, she wanted to come up with a set list early, giving them enough time to perfect their vocals and choreography. Mr. Schue, however, seemed to think they had plenty of time and that they didn't need to worry about it so soon. So, nothing had changed even though Rachel tried to argue that their chances of winning Nationals would have increased.

"Okay, if no one else has anything they'd like to perform, why don't we call it a day?" Mr. Schue said with a smile. "I'll see you all on Monday."

Rachel picked up her bag from the floor and stood as she shouldered it. She watched Mr. Schue pack his briefcase, thinking about trying to talk to him again even though she knew it wouldn't do any good. She'd already tried three times, and he'd been quick to dismiss her each time. She didn't even get a chance to ask him the last time; as soon as he saw her approaching, he automatically told her no, not even giving her a chance to speak.

"Uh, Rachel."

Rachel hummed as she turned to look at Finn. He was awkwardly standing at the bottom of the risers, and she wondered how long he had been waiting for her.

"Sorry," Rachel said, giving him a smile.

"Do you need to talk to Mr. Schue?" Finn asked.

Rachel looked at the teacher for a moment and then shook her head. "No. I was thinking about it, but it can wait."

"Cool," Finn replied. "Can we, um, can we talk a sec?"

"Of course," Rachel said. "Is it about your performance this week? Because with a little help from me—"

"No," Finn interrupted. "It's not about that."

"Oh," Rachel replied.

"I was wondering if you're busy tonight?" Finn said, looking at her with a hopeful expression.

"Well, I was planning on rearranging my bedroom sometime this weekend, and I was going to begin working on a paper that's due in a few weeks," Rachel replied.

"Are you doing any of that tonight?" Finn asked.

"I haven't decided," Rachel answered. "Why do you ask?"

"I was kinda wondering if you'd wanna go to a movie or something," Finn said.

"Oh," Rachel replied, her eyes widening in surprise. "Do you mean as friends or—"

"I was kinda thinking it could be a date," Finn interrupted. "If, you know, you want to."

"I—" Rachel glanced over to where Quinn had been sitting, but the blonde was long gone. As soon as she realized what she was doing, she quickly looked away and squared her shoulders, chastising herself for ever thinking about Quinn. "Of course, Finn. I would love to go on a date with you."

"I'll pick you up at six-thirty," Finn said, giving her a lopsided smile.

"I look forward to it," Rachel replied, smiling back.

Finn turned and walked away, leaving Rachel and Kurt as the only two left in the choir room. When she looked over at Kurt, his eyebrows were raised. He'd clearly heard the exchange and was just as surprised as Rachel was.

"So, you're going out with Finn," Kurt remarked.

"It would seem so," Rachel replied.

"I wonder why he didn't tell me," Kurt said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Rachel didn't know why it mattered unless Kurt just wanted to be the first to know, which wouldn't surprise her. Kurt always wanted to be the first one to know any potential piece of gossip, so he could one-up Mercedes. She figured that's why he was the only other person left in the choir room. He probably saw Finn approach her, so he stayed behind to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"You don't still have a crush on him, do you?" Rachel asked.

"Of course not," Kurt replied. "That was over a long time ago. I have Blaine now, and Finn is my step-brother."

"Good," Rachel said.

She and Kurt may not be best friends, but she certainly considered him a friend, and she didn't want anything to strain that friendship. He was actually one of the few people she could call a friend; he had been there for her when she needed him after their loss at Nationals, and he was one of the only people who would even speak to her after their disastrous last-place finish. She appreciated having someone there during that difficult time and she would hate for anything to put an end to their friendship.

"Let me know if you need any wardrobe or makeup advice," Kurt offered, looking her up and down, clearly not pleased with what she was wearing.

"I appreciate the offer," Rachel replied. "Maybe you can come over at around five-thirty.

"I'll be there," Kurt said, turning on his heel, and walking toward the door.

While she didn't appreciate the insinuation that she was incapable of picking out her own outfit, she was willing to accept the help. After all, this was the first time she was going to be out in public on a date, and if she was going to be seen with the most popular boy in school, she wanted to look her best.

* * *

_October 14, 2011_

"Are we gonna do something tonight after the game?" Finn asked.

Rachel looked up at him. "My fathers are spending the night in Columbus, so I have the evening free."

"They are?" Finn asked, smiling.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "Daddy is surprising Dad with tickets to see Ricky Martin." Rachel shook her head. "They've both been big fans for years."

"So, you have the house to yourself," Finn said.

Rachel nodded. "That's why I was thinking we could go to a movie. I wasn't assigned a lot of homework for the weekend, so my weekend is wide open."

"Maybe I could come over and watch a movie instead," Finn suggested.

"My fathers told me I wasn't to have you over while they're not home," Rachel replied.

"Oh," Finn said.

She could tell he was disappointed, but she didn't want to get in trouble with her fathers. Plus, she didn't know if she was ready to have Finn over even if her fathers were home. He was a teenage boy, after all, and she knew exactly what he had on his mind when he wanted to come over. They had only been dating for five weeks, though, and Rachel certainly wasn't ready to take such a drastic step in their relationship.

"If you would rather we do something other than a movie after—"

"No," Finn interrupted. "A movie's fine."

Rachel wrapped her arm around his and smiled. "The Footloose remake comes out today. I'm sure it won't be as good as the original, but I was thinking we could still see it."

"Yeah, sure," Finn replied.

When they walked into the choir room, most of their fellow Glee Club members were already inside. She led Finn over to the two seats at the front of the room and sat down, looking up at him as she waited for him to join her. He was eyeing the seats near the back, but after a few seconds, he sat down next to her. She knew he didn't really like sitting at the front, but Rachel liked having an unobstructed view of everything.

"Okay, guys," Mr. Schue said as he walked out over his office, but then he stopped and looked around the room. "Where's Puck?"

"He got detention for mooning Miss Jackson," Finn answered.

Mr. Schue shook his head. "Okay, then. This week we've been talking about singer-songwriters and—yes, Rachel?"

"Finn and I have prepared a song," Rachel said, standing up."

"Well, then, everyone give it up for Finn and Rachel," Mr. Schue said, clapping as he walked toward the stool at the side of the room.

When Finn didn't immediately stand with her, she reached out and took his hand, pulling him up out of his seat. As they took their positions in the middle of the room, Rachel looked over at the drummer, whose name she didn't know, and nodded at him to begin. A few moments later, the music filled the room and Rachel began singing.

"_I had no choice but to hear you  
__You stated your case time and again  
__I thought about it  
_"_You treat me like I'm a princess  
__I'm not used to liking that  
__You ask how my day was"_

Finn joined in on the chorus, circling behind Rachel as they sung together. Rachel looked back at him, smiling, and he smiled back at her as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"_You've already won me over in spite of me  
__And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
__Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
__I couldn't help it  
__It's all your fault"_

Finn took over the next part, releasing Rachel, and walking around to her left side. He was singing to her and Rachel kept her eyes locked with his. Finn had been reluctant to sing the song, but Rachel had convinced him that they would sound great together on it, and she was happy to see she was right.

"_Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole  
__You're so much braver than I gave you credit for  
__That's not lip service"_

She could tell by the slight redness to Finn's face that he was embarrassed to be singing, though she wasn't sure if it was because of the song or because he was singing with her. She really hoped it was the former, because she didn't know if she could be in another relationship where her partner was ashamed of her.

"_You've already won me over in spite of me  
__And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
__Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
__I couldn't help it  
__It's all your fault"_

Rachel couldn't help glancing at Quinn as she began singing by herself again. It was no secret that she and Finn were a couple, but it was the first time they had sung a duet since becoming an item. Unsurprisingly, Quinn's face showed nothing but boredom and disinterest.

"_You are the bearer of unconditional things  
__You held your breath and the door for me  
__Thanks for your patience_

"_You're the best listener that I've ever met  
__You're my best friend  
__Best friend with benefits  
__What took me so long"_

Rachel looked over at Finn, who gave her a smile, and all her worries that he was embarrassed to be singing with her vanished. They sung the chorus together one last time before Rachel closed the song, belting out the final words.

"_You've already won me over in spite of me  
__And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet  
__Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are  
__I couldn't help it  
__It's all your fault_

"_I couldn't help it  
__It's all your fault"_

There was a smattering of applause as the song ended and Rachel grabbed Finn's hand, pulling him toward their seats. When she sat down, she had the sensation of someone staring at the back of her head, but when she looked over her shoulder, everyone's eyes were on Mr. Schue, who was talking again. Her eyes lingered on Quinn for a moment longer than everyone else, but then she quickly turned around.

Quinn clearly hadn't been watching her. If she had, that would probably mean she actually cared who Rachel was singing with, and to care about who she was singing with, Rachel would have had to mean something to her when it was obvious that she didn't.

* * *

_November 16, 2011_

Rachel was sitting on the edge of the stage, swinging her legs back and forth. She was supposed to meet the rest of the girls from Glee Club, but so far, she was the only one there. When she picked up her phone to look at the time once again, she saw that the others were now thirteen minutes late. Sighing, she set her phone back on the stage and wondered if anyone else was going to show up. Just as she was about to pick up her phone to text Tina for the third time, she heard the auditorium door open. She looked up, ready to chastise everyone for being late, but she closed her mouth when she saw that it was Quinn who had walked in.

As Quinn walked down the aisle, Rachel looked down at her hands, which were resting on her lap. She could hear Quinn's footsteps getting closer, but she deliberately kept her eyes trained on her hands. She was fairly certain this was the first time she and Quinn had been alone in the same room since that fateful day in her bedroom, and she could only hope it didn't last long.

The seconds seemed to tick by painfully slow as Quinn walked onto the stage and stood off to the side, far away from where Rachel was sitting. After what felt like fifteen minutes, Rachel looked at her phone again and saw that only three minutes had passed since the last time she looked. She frowned, wondering if her phone had somehow lost time, but she shook her head, knowing how ridiculous the thought was.

"Do you know if Santana and Brittany are coming?" Rachel quietly asked after several more excruciating minutes passed by.

"Why would I know?" Quinn asked.

"Well, they are your friends," Rachel replied.

Quinn didn't say anything else, so Rachel took it to mean that she didn't know. Or maybe she just wasn't talking to her. Either way, Rachel was only going to give everyone else another five minutes before she left. Rachel wasn't going to waste her valuable time waiting on them; if they didn't want to be prepared for their number at Sectionals, that was their problem. Rachel would just go and prepare by herself, taking over the whole performance if she had to.

Rachel glanced over her shoulder at Quinn, who looked about as happy as Rachel felt. She didn't know if it was because Quinn was as annoyed at everyone else as Rachel was or if it was because they were in the same room. Rachel didn't know why Quinn would be upset at them being the same room, though; after all, Quinn was the one who began dating Sam only weeks after they broke up and showed no emotion when Rachel told her she couldn't be with her anymore.

"Can I ask you something?" Rachel found herself asking before she could think twice about it.

Quinn looked at her for a moment before looking away and saying, "What?"

"Did I mean anything to you?" Rachel asked, her voice wavering.

It was something Rachel had been wondering for a while, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. Quinn had supposedly loved her, but it was hard for Rachel to believe when she didn't fight for them. Quinn had just walked away from their relationship without looking back. She felt like she already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from Quinn no matter how painful it was going to be.

"Did I?" Rachel asked when Quinn didn't answer.

"Do you really need to ask?" Quinn asked.

"I guess not," Rachel replied, looking away as she heard the auditorium door creak.

She heard Quinn sigh, but she didn't look back. Instead, she watched Tina and Mercedes as they walked down the aisle. They were both laughing, seemingly carefree, and Rachel tried to discreetly wipe the tear that was beginning to descend its way down her cheek. She didn't want either of them seeing, knowing they would instantly question her, and the last thing she wanted was for Quinn to know that she was still crying over her.

"You're late," Rachel said, trying to keep her voice even and strong.

"It's not like we're the only ones," Mercedes stated, waving around. "I don't see Santana or Brittany here."

"Be that as it may, you're still late," Rachel replied.

"I'm sorry," Mercedes said.

"Apology accepted, but next time—"

"Actually, I was talking to Quinn," Mercedes interrupted. "She's the one that had to be here with you, listening to you complain about everyone else being late."

Rachel huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Neither Quinn nor Tina said anything in her defense, but she didn't expect either of them to.

"We should get started," Rachel said, standing up.

"Without Brittany and Santana?" Tina asked.

"If they can't be on time, they'll just have to catch up," Rachel replied.

"But Brittany's the one who knows the choreography," Tina said, frowning.

"Well, then, we can do a few exercises until they get here," Rachel replied.

"That's crazy," Mercedes said, sitting down on the stage. "Let's just wait until everyone's here."

Rather than argue with Mercedes, Rachel sighed to herself, her shoulders slumping. She was tired of trying to hard when no one else seemed to care. So, she sat back down on the edge of the stage and watched the door. She was going to give Brittany and Santana five more minutes and then she was going to leave. She really didn't feel up to rehearsing now anyway.

* * *

**The song used was Head over Feet by Alanis Morissette.**


	10. My Past

**Sorry that I'm posting later than usual. I was already watching Pitch Perfect 2 when I realized I was supposed to post tonight. Woops.**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – My Past**

_April 13, 2012_

"Okay, guys, we have one last performance," Mr. Schue said with a smile. "Finn has prepared something for us, or more specifically, for Rachel, so let's give him all a big hand."

Rachel sat up straighter at the mention of her name. She had no idea that he'd been working on anything, and she was curious to see what the surprise was about.

"Thanks, Mr. Schue," Finn said as he walked toward the middle of the room.

Finn nodded to the band, and when they began to play, she easily recognized the song. It was one of her fathers' favorites and she had grown up listening to the song. It was obvious she wasn't the only one who recognized it; Santana mumbled something she couldn't quite make out and she could practically hear the other girl rolling her eyes, but she didn't care. Finn was singing to her during Glee Club, which was something she always dreamed about her significant other doing.

"_You're just too good to be true  
__Can't take my eyes off of you  
__You'd be like heaven to touch  
__I wanna hold you so much  
__At long last love has arrived  
__And I thank God I'm alive  
__You're just too good to be true  
__Can't take my eyes off of you"_

Rachel couldn't help the smile on her face as Finn walked up to her. When he took her hand and knelt down in front of her, signing directly to her, her smile only grew. She didn't even care that he was slightly off key or that he hadn't put any effort into the choreography. She was simply happy to have someone singing to her.

"_Pardon the way that I stare  
__There's nothing else to compare  
__The sight of you leaves me weak  
__There are no words left to speak  
__But if you feel like I feel  
__Please let me know that it's real  
__You're just too good to be true  
__Can't take my eyes off of you"_

Mike and Brittany both jumped up from their seats, joining Finn at the front of the room. Rachel covered her mouth, trying not to laugh as Finn tried to keep up with the other two. It was obvious he was supposed to be dancing the same way as them, but it looked very different coming from him. They effortless glided across the room while Finn was a little clumsier as he slid and then tried to do a spin.

"_I love you, baby, and if it's quite alright  
__I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night  
__I love you, baby, trust in me when I say  
__Oh, pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray  
__Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay  
__And let me love you, baby, let me love you"_

"Someone's been watching too many 90s movies," Santana remarked.

Rachel ignored Santana, keeping her eyes on Finn rather than turning around to shush her like she wanted. Finn may not be the best singer or the best dancer in the club, but he at least tried, which was more than she could say for some people. And if there was one thing Rachel appreciated it was someone putting in the effort since so many people had a tendency to just give up at the first sign of difficulty.

"_You're just too good to be true  
__Can't take my eyes off of you  
__You'd be like heaven to touch  
__I wanna hold you so much  
__At long last love has arrived  
__And I thank God I'm alive  
__You're just too good to be true  
__Can't take my eyes off of you"_

As the song came to a close, Finn grinned at her and she smiled widely back. She didn't care if the performance wasn't technically perfect; it was perfect to her, and it was something she would always remember.

"_I love you, baby, and if it's quite alright  
__I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night  
__I love you, baby, trust in me when I say  
__Oh, pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray  
__Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay  
__And let me love you, baby, let me love you  
__You're just too good to be true"_

Rachel jumped to her feet and began clapping as soon as the song was over. Everyone else's applause was a little less enthusiastic than hers, but they were applauding, nevertheless.

"Are we done?" Santana asked.

"Actually, I still have something to ask Rachel," Finn replied, looking at Santana before looking back at Rachel. "Rachel, I was wondering if you'd go to prom with me."

"Of course, Finn," Rachel said, walking over, and hugging him.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Santana said.

"I think it's sweet," Tina replied.

"Thank you, Tina," Rachel said, giving the other girl a smile.

"Whatever," Santana replied, rolling her eyes. "Can we go now?"

"If no one has anything else, I'll see you all on Monday," Mr. Schue said.

Santana was the first one out of the room, grabbing Brittany's hand along the way, and pulling her toward the door. Quinn wasn't far behind, passing by Finn and Rachel without a glance.

"Did you really like it?" Finn asked, looking down at her, drawing her attention away from Quinn.

"You were great," Rachel said, smiling up at him.

Finn leaned down, giving her a kiss. "I know we already talked about prom or whatever, but I thought maybe I should make it official."

"Well, I certainly appreciated the performance," Rachel replied. "I think it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."

Finn smiled at her again and then wrapped his arm around her waist. As Finn led them over, grabbing both of their bags from the floor, Rachel couldn't help looking toward the middle of the room, remembering another dance that took place in that room. She quickly put it out of her mind, though, and hugged Finn.

"What was that for?" Finn asked.

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"For what?" Finn asked, furrowing his brows together. "I kinda screwed up the choreography."

Rachel shook her head and said, "For everything."

* * *

_May 5, 2012_

Rachel threw her head back and laughed as Finn did his best impersonation a John Travolta as Born to Hand Jive played. Nearby, Kurt was shaking his head as Blaine danced just as ridiculously.

"That's not even the right movie," Kurt said, continuing to shake his head at them. "This song is from Grease; the dance you're doing is from Saturday Night Fever." Kurt sighed, throwing up his hands. "I give up."

"C'mon," Blaine said, grabbing Kurt's hand.

"I think I'm going to go get a drink," Kurt replied.

"Just dance with us," Blaine said, trying to pull Kurt back when he began to walk away.

"Not with you two looking like that," Kurt replied.

"We're having fun," Blaine said as he shimmied around Kurt.

"Dance with me if you won't dance with your boyfriend," Rachel said, holding out her hand.

"I will if you promise not to start dancing disco," Kurt said.

"I promise," Rachel replied.

"Just make sure you keep your hands where I can see them while you're dancing with my girlfriend," Finn joked.

"That won't be a problem," Kurt replied.

Rachel laughed and shook her head. Finn and Blaine were still dancing around while Rachel reached out for Kurt's hand. As soon as she took his hand, the song turned to a slow one, so Rachel put her arms around Kurt's neck and they began swaying to the music, a song that Rachel had never heard before.

"You seem like you're having a better time than last year," Kurt remarked, raising his eyebrows as he looked at her.

"I am, yes," Rachel agreed.

"Are you ever going to tell me what your breakdown was about?" Kurt asked.

"As I said last year, it was simply my emotions getting the best of me," Rachel replied.

"That seemed to happen a lot last year," Kurt said.

"Yes, well, that's over," Rachel replied. "I'm not going to dwell on the past; I'm happy now and that's what matters."

"Attention, students!"

The music stopped and the gymnasium grew quiet as everyone turned to face their principal. Rachel sighed to herself as she removed her arms from around Kurt's neck. She knew if Principal Figgins was on the stage then it was time for prom king and queen to be announced. And considering Kurt stiffened beside her, she knew he was thinking the same thing.

"It is time to announce your prom king and queen!" Principal Figgins said when the room became quiet. "Would the nominees please join me on stage."

"Wish me luck," Finn said, leaning down, and kissing Rachel's cheek.

"Break a leg," Rachel said, smiling at her boyfriend.

"Would last year's prom queen also join us for the crowning," Mr. Figgins added.

"At least I can't win this year," Kurt said, sighing deeply.

"You'll be just fine," Rachel said, reaching out, and squeezing his hand.

Rachel watched as Kurt stood up straight and confidently walked to the stage. His win as prom queen the year before may have been a cruel joke, but she knew he wasn't going to let anyone have the pleasure of thinking they had gotten to him. She admired that he was able to march up to the stage looking completely confident even though she knew he was still hurt and angry about it.

"As you all know, after the anarchy from last year, write in ballots have been banned," Principal Figgins said as he watched Kurt walk onto the stage.

"Thank God," Blaine said from beside Rachel. "I don't know if Kurt could take it again."

"I know," Rachel replied.

"Who do you think's going to win this year?" Blaine asked.

"It could be anyone," Rachel said, though she knew exactly who was going to win.

"Drum roll please," Principal Figgins said, looking over his shoulder. "And this year's prom king is—Finn Hudson."

Rachel smiled and clapped loudly for her boyfriend. Blaine whooped beside her as the rest of the student boy applauded. On stage, Kurt put the crown on Finn's head and gave him a brief hug. As soon as they parted, Finn looked at Rachel, giving her a smile, and Rachel smiled widely back.

"And now for our prom queen," Principal Figgins said when the noise died down. "Your 2012 prom queen is—Quinn Fabray."

Rachel huffed when the applause was louder for Quinn, but she politely clapped. Quinn was smiling as Kurt put the tiara on her head, and Rachel couldn't help noticing that she looked happier than she'd ever seen her.

"And now your king and queen will have their traditional dance," Principal Figgins said as the band began to play.

Rachel averted her eyes as Finn took Quinn's hand, helping her down the stairs. She couldn't help feeling a pang of jealousy just knowing the two were dancing, and she really didn't feel like having a live viewing of it. She wasn't even surprised that it was happening—she knew Finn and Quinn were the most likely to win—but it didn't make it any easier.

"Thank God that's over," Kurt said.

"At least there were no surprises this year," Blaine remarked.

"What's with you?" Kurt asked.

Rachel looked over and saw that Kurt was staring at her. "Nothing."

"Nothing, huh?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're not jealous that your boyfriend is dancing with his ex-girlfriend?"

"I'm not jealous of Quinn," Rachel replied.

Truthfully, she was jealous of Finn. Just like she was jealous of Sam and every other person that got to dance with Quinn when she never could. Not only was she jealous, but she felt guilty about being jealous. After all, she was dating Finn now, and if she was going to be jealous of anything it should be that he was dancing with someone else.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you have anything to worry about," Blaine said.

"I'm not worried," Rachel replied.

"You look worried," Kurt stated.

"Well, I can assure you I'm not," Rachel replied.

She glanced toward the middle of the dance floor, where Finn and Quinn were illuminated by a spotlight. She watched them for a few moments before looking away again, not caring if Kurt and Blaine thought she was jealous. She would rather them think she was jealous than have to watch Finn and Quinn dancing together for another moment.

* * *

_May 12, 2012_

"Why is she even the one singing?" Santana asked, motioning toward Rachel.

"Because Rachel's the best singer," Finn answered.

"I wasn't asking you, Poppin' Fresh," Santana said.

"Enough! I don't want you all fighting back here!" Mr. Schue said. "You're going to be on that stage in ten minutes and I want you focused. Think about where you guys have come from. In less than three years you guys have gone from practically being booed off stage to being at Nationals. This is the last chance for many of you to win that trophy. You've all worked so hard and I'd hate for you to throw it all away just because you couldn't stop fighting with each other."

"He's right," Finn said, looking around.

Santana rolled her eyes and then looked at Rachel. "Just don't lose it for us again or I swear I'll go all Lima Heights on your ass."

"That won't be a problem," Rachel said with complete determination.

Anything but first place was not an option for her. She hadn't put three years of her life in Glee just to come in second place. No, they were going to win and she was going to redeem herself. She took full responsibility for their loss the previous year and she wasn't going to let that happen again. She was going to go onto that stage and wow the judges, giving them no choice but to declare the New Directions winner of the 2012 National Show Choir Championships.

"Hey, don't listen to Santana," Finn said, leading her off to the side.

"I'm not," Rachel replied.

"It wasn't your fault that we lost last year," Finn said. "We just weren't good enough, but we're a lot better this year and we're going to win this."

"I completely agree," Rachel replied. "We _are_ going to win." She looked over at Santana, who was standing with Brittany. "But Santana is right. I did lose it for us last year."

"You didn't—"

"Finn," Rachel interrupted. "It's okay to admit that it was my fault. Everyone here knows it; I know it, you know it, Santana certainly knows it—it's okay. This is a new year, and I have completely confidence that we're going to bring that trophy to McKinley."

"Okay, so, it didn't exactly help us that you started crying," Finn replied.

"I can assure that is not going to happen this year," Rachel said, glancing over at Quinn. "I am going to go onto that stage and I am going bring everyone to their feet."

Finn smiled and leaned down, giving her a soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled away, Rachel smiled up at him, thankful to have someone supportive. She'd gone so long with only having her fathers' support, and it felt good to finally have someone else on her side who would tell her something wasn't her fault just to try to make her feel better.

"Are you ready?" Kurt asked, bumping his shoulder into hers.

"I was born ready," Rachel replied.

"Well, I for one think you're gonna do great," Blaine added, putting his arm around his boyfriend. "You brought tears to my eyes when you were rehearsing last night."

"Thank you, Blaine," Rachel said, giving him a smile.

"You were totally awesome," Finn agreed.

Rachel wrapped her arms around Finn's waist, hugging him. "Thank you. I know I didn't do so well last year, and it's nice to know you still believe in me."

"I'll always believe in you," Finn replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and hugging her back. "You were born to be on the stage and I know you're gonna go out there and be as awesome as you were last night. Even awesomer."

Even if it wasn't an actual word, Rachel appreciated the sentiment. She just wished the rest of the Glee Club believed in her as much as Finn did. Santana had made it abundantly clear that she thought Rachel didn't deserve the solo and Mercedes had loudly voiced her opinion that she should be the one performing It's All Coming Back to Me Now. And while the rest of her fellow Glee Club members hadn't said anything, she could sense that some of them didn't have any confidence in her.

"Ooh, that girl in the front just tripped," Kurt said, cringing. "That had to hurt."

"Good," Finn replied, following Kurt's gaze toward the stage. "That'll mean they're out of the competition."

"Look, she's limping," Blaine said, craning his neck as he looked over Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel frowned, feeling bad for the girl. She knew what it was like to humiliate herself in such a public way, and even though she wanted to win, she wouldn't wish that feeling of embarrassment on anyone.

"Everyone gather around!" Mr. Schue called out.

Rachel began walking with everyone else toward the teacher, forming a circle. They were all looking at him and he smiled as he looked around at the group.

"This is the last competition for a lot of you and I just wanted to say that no matter how today turns out, I couldn't be more proud of each and every one of you," he said, his smile growing. "It's been a pleasure teaching all of you and watching you grow up into these amazing adults. No matter what happens out on that stage or what the judges say, I think all of you have already won."

"You couldn't have said it better, Mr. Schue," Finn chimed in.

Rachel looked around at the group; most were nodding but Santana was rolling her eyes. When she looked at Quinn, the blonde was looking back at her, but then she turned back to Mr. Schue. Rachel watched her for a few moments longer before her eyes drifted to the rest of the group.

She didn't know if she agreed that they'd already won, but it didn't matter. They _were_ going to bring that Nationals trophy home to McKinley High, and then they would truly be the winners they'd been dreaming of being for the past three years.

* * *

_May 19, 2012_

"We're so proud of you, baby girl," Hiram said, squeezing Rachel tightly.

"Thank you," Rachel replied, smiling widely as she hugged her father.

When Hiram finally let her go, she pulled her graduation cap off and ran her hand over her hair. She almost couldn't believe that she was finally free of high school. She'd spent so much time there and it felt a little surreal to know she never had to come back to McKinley High. She was finally free to pursue her dreams of moving to New York.

"Are you going to come back with us?" Leroy asked.

Rachel shook her head. "I told Finn I would spend a little time with him."

"Don't forget—"

"Graduation dinner," Rachel said with a smile. "How could I forget? I'm only going to spend a few hours with Finn; I'll be home well before the first guests arrive."

Her fathers had invited the whole family to the celebratory dinner. Each student was only allowed up to four tickets to the actual graduation, and since she had many more family members than that, they all thought it would be best if only her fathers went so no one's feelings would be hurt over not being invited. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen some of her family members, and she was excited to get to see everyone again.

"I can't believe our baby is all grown up!" Hiram said, giving her another hug.

Leroy and Rachel both laughed. She wasn't surprised that her father was an emotional mess, and she could only imagine what it was going to be like when she actually moved to New York.

"If we don't go soon, we're not going to have enough time before our guests arrive," Leroy said.

"Okay, okay," Hiram said, releasing her.

"I'll be home before you know it," Rachel said.

"We really are proud of you," Leroy said, kissing the top of her head.

"I know," Rachel replied with a smile.

"Tell Finn we said congratulations," Leroy added.

Hiram gave her one last hug before he and Leroy finally headed toward the parking lot. When she turned around to find Finn, he was already walking toward her. His red gown was open, revealing a nice suit underneath that she knew Kurt must have picked out for him.

"Are your dads leaving?" Finn asked.

Rachel nodded. "They had to go set up for my party, but they wanted me to tell you congratulations."

Finn smiled. "Tell them thanks."

"I'll be sure to," Rachel replied.

"This feels really weird," Finn remarked, looking around the auditorium.

"I know," Rachel replied. "It almost doesn't feel real."

"As much as I hated actually going to class, I'm gonna miss this place," Finn said. "Most of best memories happened here. Glee, bringing that Nationals trophy in for everyone to see after giving us so much crap," Finn smiled, "you."

Rachel smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. She'd enjoyed being his girlfriend, but now that they had graduated, she knew what had to happen. They hadn't really talked about it, but it was no secret she was moving on to bigger and better things. And while she had already been accepted into the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts, Finn was going to stay in Ohio.

Maybe if things were different, she would think about entering into a long distance relationship, but she knew they would never make it. She cared about Finn, but she wasn't in love with him, and as much as she tried to tell herself that she was over Quinn, she wasn't. If she was, everything wouldn't still hurt so much. She would be able to forgive Quinn instead of feeling like she was empty every time she looked at the other girl.

"Hey, do you wanna go to the choir room?" Finn asked. "I was thinking about seeing it one last time before we go."

Rachel smiled. "That would nice."

Finn smiled back and reached down for her hand. As they weaved their way between all the graduates and their families, Rachel looked around. Tina, Mike, and their parents were standing together and Mercedes was not far away with her parents and who Rachel assumed was her grandmother. Rachel couldn't help noticing how happy everyone looked. Even Puck, who usually looked more surly than happy, had a smile on his face as he lifted up his little sister in a bear hug.

"Are you okay?" Finn asked, looking down at her.

Rachel nodded and said, "I'm simply taking everything in."

She knew she was likely to never see most of the people in that room again, which she was mostly okay with, but at the same time, she was going to miss them in a way. Even the people she didn't always necessarily get along with. She was used to having them in her life and seeing them nearly every day, and even if she wasn't friends with them, she felt like it was still going to leave a void.

"It's gonna be weird not seeing everyone every day," Finn commented as he held the door open for her.

"I know," Rachel replied, looking over her shoulder at him.

"There's Mr. Schue," Finn said, looking down the hall. "I'm going to go say goodbye."

Rachel nodded. "I'll be right here."

"You don't wanna say goodbye?" Finn asked.

"I already did before the ceremony began," Rachel replied.

"I'll be back in a sec," Finn said.

Rachel watched Finn for a few moments and then looked around the hallway. She figured Kurt must be around somewhere, but she hadn't seen him for a while. She stood on her tippy toes, trying to get a better look, but then the elderly couple blocking her view moved. Instead of finding Kurt, though, Rachel found herself looking at Quinn. She was standing with her parents and sister, who Rachel had never met but recognized from the pictures she'd seen the few times she'd gone to Quinn's house.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Finn asked, coming back after a minute or two.

"Yes," Rachel said, looking at Quinn for another few seconds before averting her eyes and looking up at Finn. "I'm ready."

* * *

_May 27, 2017_

"That's it!" Kurt asked.

"That was the last time I saw her until yesterday," Rachel said with a shrug.

"And Finn doesn't know?" Kurt asked.

Rachel shook her head. "You're the only person who knows."

She'd never seen Kurt look so flabbergasted. He had been completely quiet as she told him everything, and she knew he was probably too stunned to speak. She really couldn't blame him; she would be just as surprised if she was him. After all, Quinn had been an expert at hiding who she was from everyone.

"How could you keep it to yourself for this long?" Kurt asked.

"Even though she broke my heart, I still made a promise," Rachel replied, giving him a sad smile. "I told her I would never tell anyone and so that's what I did. Then again, I never thought I would have to see her again after high school."

"And I thought I had it rough with having to see Blaine," Kurt remarked.

They both fell silent, neither of them saying anything for several minutes. Rachel knew Kurt was probably trying to take everything in and she was more than okay with the silence. It was bad enough having to live through everything that happened, and saying it all aloud for the first time just brought everything back. But once she started talking, she found it impossible to stop. She'd been keeping everything in for nearly eight years, and even though it hurt to think about it all again, it was also a relief to finally be able to talk about it.

"I have one question," Kurt finally said. "That time I showed up to your house over Christmas break and you were acting all weird—"

"Quinn was there," Rachel interrupted, nodding.

"And that time I was looking for you in the auditorium and I found you backstage with Quinn, you weren't really arguing, were you?" Kurt asked.

"You almost caught us making out," Rachel said, feeling her cheeks turning red. "Quinn knew you wouldn't think it was strange if we were fighting."

Kurt shook his head, his eyes wide. "I feel like my whole life is a lie."

"Imagine how I feel," Rachel replied.

"I don't understand how you kept this to yourself for so long," Kurt said, looking over at her.

Rachel sighed. "It wasn't easy. During junior prom and after I lost Nationals for us, I wanted nothing more than to be able to talk to someone about it, but I couldn't. We weren't as close as we are now and I was afraid you would tell someone. After a while, especially after graduation, it was easier to just pretend that it never happened. Then I began dating Finn again and I didn't want to hurt him by needlessly bringing up something that happened years ago."

"True," Kurt replied. "I don't think he'll be very happy to know you're the reason Quinn dumped him."

"Speaking of Finn, I'm sure he's wondering why we're not at the reunion yet," Rachel said, realizing they'd been sitting there for at least forty-five minutes.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Kurt asked. "I mean, if I'd known all of this, I wouldn't have pushed you into going."

Rachel nodded. "I promised Finn I would go and that's what I'm going to do."

While she wasn't looking forward to going to the reunion, she certainly wasn't going to run away from it. Not now; not after she'd come all the way from New York. She just hoped Quinn continued acting as if she didn't exist just like she had been doing since they broke up.

* * *

**The song Finn sung was Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli.**

**Okay, so I would normally be posting again in two weeks, but I'm going to London next week, so it's going to be three weeks until I post again. And before anyone asks, yes, I'm going to see McQueen. If you care about seeing pictures from my trip, I'm sure I'll be posting stuff on tumblr. The link can be found in my profile or you can just look for invisimeg on there. **


	11. Reunion

**Apologies. This should have been up last night, but I forgot about it until nearly bedtime when I realized I'd also forgotten to ever get my wife to edit it.**

**Chapter 11 – Reunion**

"You wanna dance?" Finn asked, holding out his hand.

"Of course," Rachel said, smiling at him as she put his hand in hers.

She knew the smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but Finn didn't seem to notice. Truthfully, he was so thrilled to be at the reunion that she doubted he would even notice if she was crying. Thankfully, she'd managed to get her emotions in check before walking into the gymnasium. There had been more than a few tears during her conversation with Kurt, but now she had a smile on her face. Even if it wasn't quite genuine.

As she figured, when she and Kurt finally made it to McKinley High, Finn had immediately asked them where they'd been. She was quick to assure him that everything was okay and they were simply catching up a bit. Finn had seemed a little skeptical, but Kurt had backed her up, which she was more than grateful for. She didn't want Finn thinking there was anything wrong; she just wanted to make it through the evening relatively unscathed.

"Have you talked to Mr. Schue yet?" Finn asked as they slow-danced to I Won't Give Up.

Rachel shook her head. "No, but I'm sure I'll see him soon."

She really hadn't seen many of her fellow former Glee Club members. She knew they were there, but since the reunion wasn't just for the class of 2012, there were many other people in attendance. Unfortunately, one of the first people she saw when she walked into the gymnasium was Quinn. She'd really hoped her ex-girlfriend would change her mind about going, so she wouldn't have to see her again, but that hope had been dashed.

"So, what were you and Kurt talking about for so long?" Finn asked, looking down at her.

"I told you early that we were just catching up." Rachel said, wondering why Finn was bringing it up again.

"Yeah, but, like, you guys talk on the phone all the time," Finn replied. "What did you need to catch up on?"

Rachel hesitated a moment, but then said, "Kurt was worried about having to see Blaine."

She glanced around for Kurt, thinking she was really going to have to find him after their dance to let him know her lie. It was likely that Finn wouldn't even bring it up, but in case he did, Rachel wanted Kurt to be prepared.

"I thought he was over all that," Finn replied.

"He is, but it's still not easy seeing someone who broke your heart," Rachel said.

Finn shrugged. "I guess."

She didn't like lying to her fiancé, but she couldn't exactly tell him the truth. She'd vowed long ago to never tell him or anyone else about her relationship with Quinn, and even if she wanted to confess everything to him now, she knew it would only hurt him. Besides, it was in the past and it no longer mattered; she wouldn't have even thought about Quinn Fabray if she hadn't received the invitation to the reunion.

"I'm really glad you decided to come," Finn said. "This wouldn't have been as fun without you."

"So am I," Rachel replied, giving him a smile.

"I told you it'd be fun," Finn said, smiling back at her.

Rachel laid her head against his chest and let out a light sigh as she closed her eyes. She wasn't glad she came, but she wasn't going to ruin Finn's evening by telling him that. He was happy and that's all she cared about. Soon, the reunion would be a thing of the past and something she would never think about again.

As Finn slowly led them in a circle, Rachel opened her eyes and found herself looking directly at Quinn. She was across the gymnasium, but there weren't a lot of people dancing, so she had an unobstructed view of the blonde. Santana, Brittany, Sam, and Mercedes were all sitting at a table with her, and most of them were laughing at something.

"Hey," Finn said, slowing his movements. "After this do you wanna go walk around? Maybe see if the choir room's changed?"

"Why wait?" Rachel asked.

Finn just smiled and took her hand, leading her past the other couples who were dancing. As much as she liked the song and enjoyed dancing with Finn, she would be happy to get out of the gymnasium for a while. It was just a little too stuffy for her at the moment, and she hoped other parts of the school would be less crowded.

"I need to talk to Kurt for a moment," Rachel said, spotting him with Tina just as she and Finn reached the door. "It'll just be a minute."

Rachel began walking over to Kurt, looking over her shoulder to make sure Finn wasn't following her. Thankfully, he stayed behind, though, so she could freely talk with Kurt for a moment.

"Are you and Finn leaving?" Kurt asked, watching her as she approached.

Rachel shook her head. "We're just going to take a look at the rest of the school; Finn wants to see if anything has changed." She glanced at Tina and then at Kurt again. "Can we talk for a moment?"

"I'll be right back," he said to Tina, catching the fact that she wanted to talk alone. They walked a few yards away, where no one else was standing, and then he turned to her and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Rachel replied. "I just wanted you to know that I told Finn the reason we took so long to get here was because you were worried about seeing Blaine. I'm sure he won't bring it up, but in case he does, I wanted to prepare you."

"Why did you tell him that?" Kurt asked.

"Because he wanted to know what we had to catch up on and he had a point," Rachel replied. "We talk regularly on the phone, after all. Just—if he brings it up, please play along."

Kurt sighed but nodded, nevertheless. "Fine. I'll play along."

"Thank you," Rachel said, giving him a grateful smile.

* * *

"I don't know if it's possible, but I think you've gotten even shorter."

"Hello, Santana," Rachel said, knowing without looking up that it was her.

She hadn't run into the other woman yet and had hoped she would make it through the reunion with ever doing so, but it seemed as if she wasn't going to get her wish. She looked up at Santana, whose hair was slightly shorter than it was during high school and she was wearing a black and grey stripped dress rather than her Cheerios uniform, but she looked relatively the same otherwise.

"Watching you and Finn dance was like watching an uncoordinated giraffe and a corgi trying to mate," Santana added, crossing her arms over her chest.

"It's been wonderful seeing you too, Santana," Rachel sarcastically replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"I was shocked you even came," Santana said. "I didn't think you would want to relive high school."

As Rachel turned off the faucet she said, "I don't. Finn wanted to attend the reunion and he wanted me to join him, so here I am."

"Do you always do everything he wants?" Santana asked.

"Of course not," Rachel said, grabbing a paper towel from the dispenser, and turning around to look at Santana. "But since I hadn't seen my fathers or my best friend in a while, it seemed like a good idea."

She didn't know why she felt the need to justify her coming there with Santana, but she did. Even though she hadn't seen the other woman in five years and they were no longer in high school, she couldn't help that small part of her that wanted approval from the popular crowd. And other than Quinn, Santana had been the most popular girl in their year.

"When I heard you two were engaged, I think I gagged a little," Santana stated. "Why you would ever want to marry Finn Hudson is beyond me."

Rachel frowned. "Why do you care who I marry?"

Santana gave a nonchalant shrug. "I don't."

"Well, then, shouldn't you be getting back to your friends?" Rachel asked, hoping to rid herself of Santana. "I'm sure Quinn—"

Santana scoffed, holding her hand up, interrupting Rachel. "First off, Quinn and I aren't friends."

"Oh?" Rachel said with a slight frown.

"I haven't seen her in five years," Santana replied. "She moved up to New York and practically vanished. I was even more shocked to see her here."

Rachel didn't know what was more surprising—that Santana hadn't heard from Quinn in five years or that Quinn was apparently living in New York. She had no idea what had happened to Quinn after high school, but she'd never thought they would be living in the same city. She always assumed Quinn had stayed in Ohio since she seemed determined to live an unextraordinary life, never daring to break out from the norm.

"I don't think anyone's talked to her since she left," Santana continued. "I don't know how anyone got a hold of her to convince her to come. Then again, she probably just wanted to relive her glory days like your boyfriend. What is he doing now, by the way?"

Santana stared at her, waiting for an answer, but Rachel hesitated. She knew Santana would only insult Finn if she knew he worked in a store, and she's already insulted them both enough for one evening. Rachel wasn't going to lie, though, so she eventually said, "He works in retail."

"Is that your way of saying he works in some crappy little store?" Santana asked.

Rachel didn't answer; instead, she looked away, glancing at the door. Finn did have a crappy job, but at least he had one. He had taken a few classes before moving up to New York, but had decided college wasn't for him. Unlike her, he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life, so she tried to be patient. He had been working at the store for nearly two years, and even though he hated it, he wasn't really looking for other work. He'd put in a few applications here and there, but nothing had come of it.

"So he works in some crappy store and you're on Broadway," Santana said when Rachel remained silent. "How's that work?"

"How did you know I'm in a Broadway show?" Rachel wondered.

"I talk to Britt sometimes, she talks to Tina, Tina talks to Kurt, and Kurt talks to you." Santana shrugged. "I hear things even if I don't want to."

"To answer your question, it works because we love each other," Rachel said. "I don't care what he does for a living; I just want him to find something that makes him happy."

"You don't care that he has no ambition?" Santana asked.

"We can't all know what we want to do from the time we're two," Rachel replied. "I was lucky enough to know, but Finn hasn't found what he's passionate about, and that's fine. He will one day."

Santana shrugged again and said, "I don't get it. I don't get why you would let him mooch off you."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at Santana. Was she showing concern or was she simply taking the opportunity to put Finn down? If she was showing concern, it would be a first; on the other hand, putting Finn down—and her, for that matter—was practically a sport to Santana in high school.

"Why do you care?" Rachel asked again.

Santana rolled her eyes. "I never said I cared."

"No, but you're awfully concerned about my relationship with Finn," Rachel said.

"Whatever," Santana said, rolling her eyes again. "I heard Puck spiked the punch, and I need a drink after talking to you."

Rachel was thrown by the abrupt end to their conversation, but not as thrown as when Santana actually gave her a slight smile before walking out of the bathroom.

* * *

"Here," Finn said, holding out a cup of punch for Rachel.

Rachel gave Finn a smile as she took the cup from him. "Thank you. The air in this place is very dry."

"It is getting a little hot," Finn said, looking up at the ceiling. "I don't think the AC's working."

"They may have turned it off," Rachel remarked. "It sounds like something Principal Figgins would do to save money."

"Or something Coach Sylvester would do to get us all to leave," Finn replied.

"That's always a possibility," Rachel said, looking across the gymnasium at the cheerleading coach, who had been glaring at them all evening.

"Hey, party at Mercedes' place," Puck announced as he walked up to Rachel and Finn. "Her parents are gone tonight, so she's got the place to herself."

"Are her parents okay with her having guests over?" Rachel asked.

"I dunno," Puck said, shrugging. "Who cares? She's the one that offered it up."

Rachel sighed as she looked over at Finn. She could tell by his face that he wanted to go, but she wasn't all that excited about it. She'd been counting down the minutes until the reunion was over and she could go home, but now it appeared as if that was going to be delayed. She knew she could always let Finn go on his own, but he would be disappointed if she didn't go.

"Are you guys coming?" Puck asked.

"Yeah, dude," Finn said. "Rachel?"

"I suppose I could go for a bit," Rachel said, giving Finn a tight smile.

"Awesome," Puck replied, clapping Finn on the back. "I'm gonna bail and go get some booze for us. I'll see you guys at the party."

Rachel didn't like the idea of being around everyone when they were drunk. She had already experienced it once during their senior year of high school when Finn had brought her to a party at Puck's. She just hoped everyone had matured a bit since then and everyone wouldn't get quite as wasted as they had back then.

"This'll be awesome," Finn said, obviously excited. I've heard Mercedes' parents' house is huge."

"I assume Puck has told you the news," Kurt said, and they both turned around to look at him.

"Yeah, party at Mercedes'!" Finn replied.

"Are you two going?" Kurt asked, but he looked directly at Rachel.

"I'm going to make an appearance," Rachel replied. "I doubt I will stay the whole time, but I may stay an hour or so."

She couldn't help wondering if Quinn was going to be at the party. Without knowing, Rachel didn't really want to commit to being at the party for more than an hour. If she wasn't going to be there, though, Rachel figured she may actually stay a little longer. She hadn't really caught up with a lot of the former Glee members, and she was curious to see if some of them had changed in the five years since she'd seen them. And maybe without Quinn there, she could actually let herself relax a little.

"It looks like he's letting everyone else know," Kurt said, nodding

Rachel looked over her shoulder and saw Puck standing at the table where Artie, Tina, and Blaine were sitting. She could hear Kurt let out a sigh and she looked at her friend, giving him a sympathetic look. She knew what it was like to have to be in the same room with someone who broke your heart; his situation with Blaine wasn't very different, except Blaine had cheated on Kurt.

"Maybe he won't go," Rachel said.

"Maybe who won't go?" Finn asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Blaine," Kurt answered. "I assume Puck's over there telling him about it right now."

"That sucks, man, but you gotta, like, move on eventually, right?" Finn said.

"I have moved on, but that doesn't have to mean I like seeing him," Kurt replied.

"You don't have to go to the party; in fact, we could go to my house or your house if you'd like," Rachel suggested.

"Kurt'll be okay, won't you, Kurt?" Finn said. "The Party will be fun. You'll see."

Kurt gave Rachel a barely-there shrug as if to say it was a nice try. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like it was going to work, and she was going to have to go to the party. She really should have known there would be some kind of party after the reunion. In high school, Puck would often throw parties for any little reason, though Rachel hadn't gone to any of them until after she started dating Finn, and he'd apparently not changed.

"You think we should go to the store and get some alcohol?" Finn asked, looking at Rachel.

"I'm sure Noah will buy more than enough for everyone," Rachel replied.

"Knowing Puck, he'll buy the whole store," Kurt added.

"It looks like Sam's leaving," Finn said, looking across the room. "I wonder if he knows about it."

"I'm sure he does," Rachel replied.

"I think I'll go tell him," Finn said. "I'll be back."

Rachel sighed as Finn walked across the gymnasium. She watched Finn until he was lost in the crowd, and then she looked over at Kurt, who she could see staring at her out of the corner of her eye.

"At least I finally know why you've always hated Sam," Kurt remarked after a moment.

"I don't hate Sam," Rachel replied, causing Kurt to raise his eyebrow. "I don't! I just—" Rachel sighed and threw up her hands. "Okay, so, I haven't exactly been his biggest fan. And I know it's not really fair to him since he didn't know, but that didn't make the fact that she went to homecoming with him any less hurtful."

"Finn's waving us over," Kurt stated.

Rachel followed Kurt's gaze and asked, "If I need to fake an illness tonight, would you drive me home?"

"Of course," Kurt said, giving her a smile. "What are best friends for?"

* * *

The party turned out not to be nearly as bad as she'd thought; so far, she'd actually managed to have some fun. Of course, everyone was still relatively sober—some a little less than others—and everyone's spirits were still high from being at the reunion. It was probably the best the group had ever gotten along, or at least it was the nicest everyone had been to her. Even Mercedes, who was usually very passive aggressive toward her, was playing nice.

"I'm going to get another drink," Rachel quietly said to Finn before standing up.

"Can you bring me another beer?" Finn asked, looking up at her.

"Of course," Rachel replied, leaning down, and giving Finn a quick kiss.

Rachel momentarily grasped Finn's hand as she walked past, smiling at him. She glanced over her shoulder as she rounded the couch, and Finn smiled back at her. Finn looked happier than she had ever seen him. Or at least happier than she'd seen him since they graduated from high school. He never looked that happy when they had gatherings with their friends in New York, and she couldn't help wondering if it was due to the people they were friends with or if it was because of where he was. Finn wasn't exactly a big fan of the city, but he always said he was willing to be there if that's what Rachel wanted. She sometimes wondered if he would be happier in Lima, but at the same time, she couldn't imagine ever living anywhere else.

She shook her head slightly, deciding to put the thoughts out of her mind. The night was about having fun and reconnecting with old friends—or in Rachel's case, old acquaintances—and that's what she was trying to do. She didn't want to think about anything other than enjoying her night. But that was easier said than done when she walked into the kitchen and saw Quinn standing by the island, pouring herself a drink.

Rachel quickly looked away, keeping her eyes focused on anything but Quinn, trying to ignore that the other woman was in the room. Other than the few words they spoke at Breadstix, Quinn hadn't said anything to her, and that was exactly the way Rachel wanted to keep it. Unfortunately, a few moments later, she heard Quinn say, "Hey."

The last thing she wanted to do was talk to Quinn, but if she ignored her, Quinn may think she still had an effect on her, and Rachel didn't want that either. So, Rachel looked over at Quinn, squared her shoulders, and gave a stiff, "Hello."

Rachel could feel Quinn's eyes on her as she walked over and grabbed a bottle of vodka. It wasn't her usual first choice, but Puck seemed to have gotten the cheapest alcohol he could find except for the vodka and the beer. She assumed it was because they were his two favorites and he had been willing to spend more on them, which was lucky for her since vodka was one of the few alcohols she could stand to drink. And she definitely needed a drink or two if Quinn was going to try to converse with her.

"How long are you going to be in Lima?" Quinn asked as Rachel began pouring herself a drink.

"Finn and I are leaving tomorrow," Rachel answered, looking around for the orange juice that she knew must be there someone.

"I thought maybe you two would stay a little longer," Quinn remarked. "I heard Tina and Kurt talking about how you hadn't been here in a while."

"Yes, well, I have no desire to stay in Lima longer than I have to," Rachel replied.

Rachel wanted to mention how the town held almost nothing but bad memories for her, but she left it at that. She didn't want to speak with Quinn, and she certainly didn't want to hold a conversation with her. Thankfully, Quinn remained silent as Rachel finally spotted the orange juice and began pouring it into the glass, which already had a double shot of vodka in it. She thought about adding another or even just downing the shot right there, but she figured getting drunk wouldn't be the best idea that evening. She wanted to keep her wits about her and it didn't take a lot of alcohol for her to feel the effects.

"Would yo—"

"There you are," Kurt interrupted, and Rachel looked over to see him looking between the two of them several times before his eyes landed on her. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," Rachel said, picking up her glass, and walking over to the refrigerator to grab a beer for Finn.

Kurt nodded and then looked at Quinn, crossing his arms as he kept his eyes on her. Rachel almost wanted to laugh at Kurt's attempt to intimidate Quinn, but she appreciated the gesture. After a moment, Quinn picked up several shot glasses and walked past Kurt, looking at him as she went by with her eyebrow slightly raised. Rachel could see Kurt's stance falter slightly, but only just a little.

"Are you really fine?" Kurt asked, looking over at Rachel, and relaxing his posture when Quinn finally walked out of the room.

Rachel nodded. "Are you?"

She had seen Blaine looking rather cozy with the guy he'd brought to the reunion and she knew it couldn't be easy for Kurt. Even though they had broken up years ago, Blaine was Kurt's first love, and that wasn't easy to get over. Especially when you were the one who ended up with the broken heart.

"I'm fine," Kurt replied, though Rachel could tell he wasn't entirely fine.

"If you want to leave, let me know, and I'll go with you," Rachel offered.

Kurt nodded. "The same goes for you."

Rachel glanced down at the glass in her hand and then looked back up at Kurt. "How about you announce that you're not feeling well as soon as I finish my drink?"

Kurt nodded again and gave her a smile. "Sounds like a plan."


	12. I'm Ready to Go

**Chapter 12 – I'm Ready to Go**

Rachel slowed her pace until she was at barely more than a brisk walk before stopping altogether just in front of her parents' house. She put her hand on her side and leaned forward a bit as she tried to catch her breath. She hadn't went for her morning run in a few days and she'd pushed herself more than usual, so she was feeling exhausted rather than rejuvenated like she usually did after her run.

Once her breathing had returned to normal, she began walking up the path to her fathers' house. Neither of her fathers had been awake when she left the house that morning, but the sun was up now, so she figured her fathers were probably up as well. Regardless, she made sure to be quite as she walked through the door in the off chance that they were still in bed. As soon as she closed the door behind her, though, she heard Leroy's loud laughter coming from the kitchen, so she gave up trying to be stealthy and walked normally again.

"Do you want pancakes or waffles?" she heard Hiram ask her other father as she neared the kitchen. "Or are you in more of a biscuits and gravy type of mood."

"Maybe we should wake Rachel up and see what she wants," Leroy said.

"I'm right here," Rachel called out, walking into the kitchen.

"I didn't think it was like you to sleep this late," Leroy remarked when he looked over his shoulder at her.

"I decided to go for a run this morning," Rachel said, though it was probably unnecessary given her clothing.

"What time did you finally get in last night?" Hiram asked.

"A little before one," Rachel answered. "We all went over to Mercedes' house, but Kurt and I left early, so we could catch up."

"Did you have fun?" Leroy asked.

Rachel shrugged as she sat down next to her father. "I suppose."

"That was very convincing," Leroy replied, raising his eyebrows at her.

"It was fine," Rachel said with a slight shake of her head. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was actually nice getting to know a few people a little better."

Thankfully, most of her fellow New Directions members had grown up since high school. Some people were still the same and would probably never fully mature, but others were quite different than they'd been five years ago. She and Mercedes still didn't get along very well, but Tina, who had always been rather indifferent to her, was actually very nice to her at the reunion and at the after party. They seemed to have more in common than she'd realized during high school, and it had been nice to find someone other than Kurt and Finn that she got along with.

"I doubt we'll all become friends, but it was still kind of nice seeing them again," Rachel added.

"I'm glad you had an okay time," Leroy said, giving her a smile. "I hated going to my reunions. I vowed to never go to one again after my tenth reunion."

"What happened at your tenth reunion?" Rachel asked.

"Your father almost punched someone," Hiram answered.

"Daddy!" Rachel said in surprise.

"Don't just tell her that," Leroy said, huffing at his husband.

"Well, you did almost punch someone," Hiram replied.

"Let's just say one of the more bigoted people I graduated with didn't like me bringing Hiram to the reunion," Leroy said, looking at Rachel. "He made sure everyone knew his displeasure. We ignored him at first, but then he crossed the line, and I would have hit him if Hiram hadn't stopped me."

"I probably should have let him," Hiram said. "Maybe it would have knocked some of the hate out of him."

"Well, it sounds like my reunion went a little better than yours," Rachel remarked. "I should probably be thankful."

Now that her father had mentioned it, she was actually a little surprised no fights had broken out. It wouldn't have been the first time a physical altercation happened. Santana had been in a fight with at least two other Glee Club members—three if you counted the shoving match she once had with Mercedes—and Puck was known to have a temper. He'd even gotten into a fight with Finn once over something Finn would never talk to her about.

Did Finn have fun?" Hiram asked.

"He loved it," Rachel said with a smile. "I think he misses high school, and this was the closest he'll ever be to going back."

She really didn't understand how someone could miss high school, but she knew her fiancé did. He always talked about it with such a fondness, whereas Rachel had nothing but bitter memories from her time at McKinley High. Of course, their high school experiences were polar opposites. Finn hadn't just been popular; he had been _the_ most popular boy in school, his popularity only topped by Quinn's.

"So, are you still leaving this evening?" Leroy asked.

Rachel nodded. "Finn told Burt and Carole he'd have dinner with them, and then we're going to head back."

"I wish you could stay longer," Hiram said.

"I know, but I really can't miss a lot of work right now," Rachel replied. "Stephanie is thinking about leaving the production and I'm really hoping they'll give me the role. I'm afraid it would look bad if I take off too many days."

"Maybe we'll just have to come up there soon," Leroy said.

"That would be wonderful," Rachel replied. "You know you're always welcome." Rachel looked between her fathers and gave them a sad smile. "I really miss you both."

"We miss you too, Sweetie," Leroy said, reaching over, and squeezing her hand.

Hiram reached out for her other hand and said, "Maybe we can take a week off from work toward the end of summer. How does that sound?"

Rachel nodded, giving them both a genuine smile. "I would love that."

* * *

The Lima Bean was nearly empty when Rachel walked inside. It was past breakfast, though, and not quite lunchtime, plus it was Sunday, so a lot of people were still at church. Rachel was used to waiting in line forever anytime she wanted a morning coffee, so she was thankful for the nice change of pace. It was one of the few benefits of living in a smaller town, and something she did miss when she was in New York.

"I would like a medium hazelnut latte with soy milk," Rachel said when the one other person in line was done placing their order. "Actually, can you make that an iced latte?"

"Do you want whipped cream?" the barista asked.

"No thank you," Rachel said, shaking her head.

She handed over her debit card, and when she got it back, she stepped to the side to wait on her drink order. As she stood there, she glanced around the room, which hadn't changed at all in the past five years. Everything was exactly as she'd remembered it, except they may have gotten a few extra chairs from the last time she was there. She was pretty sure she could even still see the mark on the wall from the time Puck threw a fork at Finn but missed and hit the wall.

"Can I get small cappuccino?"

Rachel didn't need to turn to look to see who had ordered; she knew Quinn's voice, involuntarily tensing the moment she heard it. She immediately wished she could walk out without the other woman knowing she was there, but considering there were only a handful of people around, she knew that wasn't going to be possible. So, Rachel waited on her drink, refusing to look over at Quinn or acknowledging she was there in any way, and hoping Quinn would do the same.

"Hey."

Rachel let out a barely audible sigh before turning around to face Quinn with a, "Hello."

"I thought you were leaving today," Quinn remarked.

"Finn and I won't be leaving until this evening," Rachel said, turning back around so she didn't have to look at the other woman.

"Is he here?" Quinn asked.

"No, Finn is visiting with his parents before we have to go back to New York," Rachel replied, glancing back at Quinn for a moment, wondering why she was even speaking with her.

She didn't understand why Quinn kept trying to converse with her. After their breakup, Quinn had only said a handful of words to her the rest of the time they were in high school. Which is why she didn't get why Quinn was talking to her now. Quinn had made it very clear that she didn't care about her, so it made no sense for her to suddenly start acting as if they were simply two old acquaintances running into each other again.

"Iced soy milk latte with hazelnut and a cappuccino."

Rachel gave the barista a forced smile as she grabbed her iced latte. Without saying anything else to Quinn, Rachel grabbed a straw before turning toward the nearest exit. As she began making a hasty exit, she was stopped when Quinn said, "Wait."

She hated that even now, after all these years, she still did exactly as Quinn had demanded. Quinn had asked her to wait, and she immediately stopped and turned toward Quinn.

"What?" Rachel asked, annoyance and anger creeping into her voice.

"Do you think we could talk?" Quinn asked, motioning toward one of the many empty tables.

"Fine," Rachel said, obviously surprising Quinn if her face was any indication.

Rachel walked over to one of the tables—a different one than Quinn had indicated—and set her cup down on the table before sitting down in the chair. She tried to keep her face neutral as she watched Quinn walk over and join her at the table, still not wanting Quinn to think she had an effect on her despite Rachel's little slip up only a moment prior.

"What did you want to talk about?" Rachel asked,

Quinn shrugged. "We just haven't seen each other in a long time and I—"

"You what?" Rachel asked, unable to stop herself from interrupting Quinn. "You thought we would catch up?"

"Something like that," Quinn replied, her voice much softer than Rachel's.

"Okay," Rachel said, putting her hands around her ice-cold drink just to give herself something to focus on. "Finn and I are engaged, we live together in New York City, and we're happy. Is that what you wanted to know?"

"Rachel—"

"What, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "You haven't spoken to me in six years and you suddenly want to catch up? You—"

Rachel bit her lip and looked away. She knew her anger was showing, but she couldn't seem to stop it or bring herself to really care at the moment. She'd never been the best at controlling her emotions around Quinn, and that apparently hadn't changed in the five years since she last saw her.

"I what?" Quinn asked after a few moments.

"You have no right to talk to me now," Rachel said, looking at her again. "Not after everything that happened."

"You are the one who broke up with me," Quinn stated.

Rachel shook her head and gave Quinn an incredulous look. "What did you expect, Quinn? I may have been the one to do it, but you were the one who broke my heart." Rachel abruptly stood, nearly knocking the chair she'd been sitting in to the ground. "Goodbye, Quinn."

Part of Rachel expected Quinn to stop her, but the blonde made no effort to get her to stay. It wasn't exactly surprising to Rachel, though; if she hadn't fought her her—for _them_—in high school then why would she ever make an effort now? For once, the lack of fight didn't even disappoint Rachel; she was too angry at Quinn for trying to talk to her as if nothing had ever happened to feel disappointment.

* * *

"Knock, knock," Kurt said before opening the door just enough to pop his head into the room. "I hope you're decent. I saw enough of you while we were living together to last a lifetime."

Rachel rolled her eyes at her best friend as she turned her chair to face him but she also had a small smile on her face. "Yes, I'm sure you were very traumatized."

It was something they had often joked about ever since Kurt had accidentally walked in on a completely naked Rachel. In her defense, she had been in her room with the door closed. It wasn't as if she was parading around the living room in her birthday suit, and It certainly wasn't her fault that Kurt had come home early and decided to see if she wanted to go out to dinner. The only part she would take responsibility for was that her music had been a tad loud, so she hadn't exactly heard him when he'd knocked on her door.

"I thought I would come over before you and Finn had to leave," Kurt said, opening the door the rest of the way, and walking into the room.

"Shouldn't you be eating dinner with your family?" Rachel asked.

Kurt waved her off. "They've decided to grill out, so it'll be a while. Finn will mess it up and my dad will be backseat grilling." He sat down on the corner of the bed and looked over at her. "I have at least an hour and a half before the first burger is done."

Rachel scrunched up her nose slightly at the thought of grilled meat. "Well, I can't say I'm unhappy you're here."

Kurt smiled at her for a moment before his smile turned into a look of suspicion as he narrowed his eyes at her. "What happened?"

"What makes you think anything happened?" Rachel asked.

"Rachel, we've been best friends for quite a few years; I can tell when something is bothering you," Kurt replied with a slight huff.

Rachel sighed to herself and avoided Kurt's eyes as she admitted, "I ran into Quinn at the Lima Bean."

"And?" Kurt asked.

"And she tried to talk to me, but I got angry and snapped at her," Rachel said, embarrassed at herself for losing her temper the way she had.

"What did she do?" Kurt asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Nothing," Rachel replied with a slight shrug. "She just said she wanted to talk."

"So—you two talked?" Kurt said.

"Not exactly," Rachel replied, reaching out, and fidgeting with a thread at the hem of her skirt.

Kurt leaned back on the bed and titled his head. "What did you do?"

"I simply reminded her that it's been six years since we last spoke and that she had no right to do this now," Rachel said, looking down at a spot on the carpet that she didn't remember being there before.

When she glanced up at Kurt, waiting for him to say something, but he remained silent. After a moment, his eyebrow rose and Rachel looked away, sighing to herself. "What, Kurt?"

"Nothing," Kurt relied, his voice not betraying whatever he was actually thinking.

"Just say whatever you're thinking," Rachel demanded.

"Who says I'm thinking anything?" Kurt asked with a shrug.

"Because I know you and you always have an opinion on everything," Rachel stated.

"Look, Rachel, I understand that she hurt you, but—"

"But what?" Rachel asked. "But I should get over it?"

"As you've said, it's been six years," Kurt said, sitting up straight rather than his previously relaxed position.

"Are you over what Blaine did to you?" Rachel asked, instantly regretting it when she saw the look of hurt on Kurt's face "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

"Yes, it was," Kurt agreed. "You're the one who wanted my opinion and my opinion is that you need to try to get over this thing that happened with Quinn. You're happy with Finn, right?"

"Of course," Rachel immediately replied.

"And you love him?" Kurt asked.

Rachel frowned. "How can you even ask that? Of course I loved Finn; we're engaged!"

"Then maybe you should forgive Quinn for what she did," Kurt replied. "In the words of Elsa, 'let it go'."

"Did you just quote Frozen?" Rachel asked.

"It'll never happen again," Kurt vowed. "My cousins visited us last month with their two daughters and that movie was all they would watch. That song still haunts me in my dreams."

Rachel couldn't help but smile, but it was short-lived. She thought about what Kurt had said and she knew he was probably right, but how do you forgive someone who completely broke your heart? Even though the realistic part of her could see that they were doomed from the beginning, a part of her had foolishly thought she and Quinn could be one of those couples who could overcome the trails and tribulations of high school.

"Look, I just think it would be easier if you stopped holding on to the past so much," Kurt softly said. "You're happy now with Finn. Shouldn't that be all that matters?"

"You're right," Rachel replied.

She completely agreed with what Kurt was saying, but that didn't make it any easier to forgive Quinn. And Rachel was usually a very forgiving person, but what Quinn did was something she didn't know if she could ever forgive. She had been so in love with Quinn and she thought Quinn had felt the same way, so for her to just move on like nothing had ever happened hurt more than she could ever fully describe. For the first time in her life, Rachel had thought someone loved her for her, and realizing she meant nothing to Quinn was the most painful thing she'd ever experienced.

"Of course I'm right," Kurt replied with a cocky grin.

"Thank you, Kurt," Rachel sincerely said. "I don't know if I would have made it through to reunion without having someone to talk to."

Kurt shrugged. "You were there for me during the many ups and downs of my relationships, so it was only right for me to return the favor." Kurt smirked. "Besides, this is the most scandalous thing to ever happen at McKinley High and I'm the only one who knows!"

Rachel shook her head. "And this is exactly why I never told you when it happened."

"Completely understandable," Kurt replied with a light laugh.

* * *

Rachel slowly looked around her old room, double checking that she hadn't left anything. Her suitcase was sitting open on her bed, stuffed full of the many clothes she'd brought despite the fact that they were only going to be there a few days. Rachel liked to be prepared for everything, though, so she always packed way too many things anytime she went someone for more than a night.

When Rachel was finally satisfied that she hadn't left anything out, she walked over and zipped up her suitcase before setting it on the floor. As she pulled up the handle, she looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was nearly eight, two hours later than she and Finn were originally supposed to leave, and she wondered if he was going to be there soon. He'd sent her a text saying dinner had gone a little late and he would be there around seven-thirty, but that was twenty minutes ago and she'd yet to hear from him again.

With a sigh, Rachel smoothed down the back of her skirt as she sat down where her suitcase had previously been. She looked around the room again, but this time she wasn't looking for anything; she was simply thinking about all the time she'd spent in that room while growing up.

She'd always loved her room; it had been a safe haven from the rest of the world for many years. When she was there, she didn't have to worry about anyone calling her names or throwing frozen beverages in her face. Unfortunately, that all changed the night Quinn showed up at her front door. Now, it was hard not to remember all the things that happened in that room. Their first 'date', their first real fight, the first time they made love. It was in that room that she'd gotten to know the true Quinn Fabray—that she'd fallen in love with her.

As she looked around the room, she spotted a nail in the wall, where one of the pictures of the Glee Club once hung. It was taken right after Regionals their sophomore year and she'd immediately hung it in her room. Since she couldn't exactly have any pictures of Quinn without rousing her fathers' suspicions, it was the best she could do. It had hung there for a year, until after her breakup, when she had nearly thrown it away. In the end, she had put it in a box with everything else that reminded her of Quinn, which she shoved under the bed she was currently sitting on.

At the thought of the picture, she glanced down at the floor and bit her lip. After a few moments, she hopped down from her bed and slowly knelt down, looking under her bed. The box was still in the middle of the bed, where she'd shoved it, so she reached out, her fingers barely skimming the edges. For a moment, she wondered if she should take it as a sign to leave the box alone, but she got down on her hands and knees, nevertheless, and pulled the box from under the bed.

She stood and carefully placed the box on her bed before taking a step back and staring at it. Even though she knew opening the box was the last thing she should do, she reached out and pulled the flaps back, looking into the box for the first time in at least four years.

On top was the picture that had once hung on her wall, and she picked it up, setting it on her bed. There were other pictures underneath, some having the whole Glee Club, but others were just of her and Quinn. Most of them had been taken in the room, but some had been taken on the few occasions they had ventured out of Rachel's house, always several towns away where no one would know them. Rachel hadn't even been able to get the pictures developed in Lima because Quinn had been too afraid someone would see the pictures and recognize them.

Despite the negatives of dating Quinn, though, Rachel looked happy in all the pictures. And she didn't have on her 'show smile' as she often referred to it; it was her genuine, contented smile that meant she was truly happy. Because even though being with Quinn wasn't always easy, she had been in love and, while the circumstances were not ideal, their relationship had still been everything to her. It may not have been perfect, but at the time, she wouldn't have given it up for anything.

It was almost funny how drastically things could change

"Honey, Finn is here," Hiram called out.

"Tell him I'll be right down," Rachel called back after a few moments.

Rachel looked through a couple more of the pictures and then stacked them all together, setting them back inside. She began to close but stopped when she saw a brown ear sticking up. She couldn't help smiling as she reached in and pulled the stuffed animal out. It was a bear Quinn had won for her when they had gone to a local carnival about forty miles away from Lima. It had been during the summer between their sophomore and junior years and was their first real date. She had been a little surprised that Quinn had asked her to go since she'd been so secretive of their relationship, but it had made the day all that much more special.

"Rachel, you need any help with your stuff?" Finn asked, knocking on her door.

"No," Rachel answered as she ran her thumb across the bear's nose, and then quickly putting it back where it had come from. "I'll be there in a minute."

Rachel closed the top of the box and then picked it up, putting it back under her bed. When she straightened up, she ran her hand through her hair, turning toward the door just as she heard it begin to open.

"You ready to go home?" Finn asked.

"More than ready," Rachel said, putting a smile on her face.


	13. The Memory of You

**Chapter 13 – The Memory of You**

"So, how was your day?" Rachel asked, breaking the silence as she turned around. "Can you unzip me?"

"Work was boring," Finn said, scooting toward the edge of the bed.

"Did you have to unload another truck?" Rachel asked, looking over her shoulder when he began unzipping her dress.

"No, but they made us stock all day and move a bunch of crap around in the backroom," Finn replied. "And two people called in, so we didn't have enough people, and they kept saying we needed to hurry up, but it's not like it was our fault."

"I don't understand why they won't hire more people," Rachel remarked. "Or fire the people who are constantly calling in and replace them with better workers. It's not fair that you have to work so hard when so many others don't."

"They won't," Finn said, shaking his head.

"You know, you could begin searching for another job," Rachel suggested. "I know you don't enjoy your job very much, so maybe it's time to think about a change."

"I dunno," Finn replied.

Rachel sighed to herself; she didn't know why Finn was so reluctant to find other work. His job was physically demanding on a lot of days, he had to put up with rude customers, and it barely paid above minimum wage. It certainly wasn't worth the stress he had to deal with or how miserable he seemed to be when it came to work, but yet he wouldn't do anything about it.

"I'm sure there are plenty of other jobs available," Rachel tried again. "Maybe you can find something you would actually be passionate about. Or maybe you could look into taking some classes again. I know you were thinking about it for a while, but you haven't really mentioned it in a few years."

"I don't know if I want to do school anymore," Finn said, sitting back on the bed.

"Well, you don't want to work at the store forever, do you?" Rachel asked, pulling off her dress, and tossing it into the hamper.

"No, but I don't really know what I want to do," Finn replied. "You know that. I know you've always known what your dreams are, but some of us aren't that lucky."

"Maybe taking a few classes will help you realize what your dreams are," Rachel said as she opened up the closet. "I mean, how are you ever going to realize what they are if you don't go looking?"

"Why do you keep pushing this?" Finn asked.

"I'm not trying to push you," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I just want you to be happy, and I don't think you're going to be happy until you find something you love doing."

"Then why do you, like, keep bringing it up?" Finn asked.

"I've only mentioned it a few times, Finn," Rachel replied, closing the closet door a little more forcefully than she'd intended.

"Not only with that, but you've been really weird for the last few weeks," Finn said as Rachel began pulling her sleep clothes on. "Ever since we got back from Lima you've been different. You're not mad at me for getting you to go, are you? Because I thought you had fun there."

"Of course not," Rachel immediately responded.

"Then what is it?" Finn asked. "Why are you being all weird?"

"I don't think I'm being weird," Rachel argued, walking into the bathroom, and turning the light on.

It was a lie; she knew she was being weird, but the more she tried to act as if nothing was wrong, the worse it seemed to be. Being in Lima had brought back so many things—things she'd tried not to think about for so long—and she would be lying if she said it hadn't changed a few things for her. As much as she just wanted to go back to her normal life with Finn, it was harder than she thought it was going to be. Dredging up the past had made her think about the present, and the more she thought about her current life, the more she thought about the things she wish she could change about it. The things that could make her and Finn's life together a little happier.

"Look, I don't wanna take any classes right now," Finn called out. "Maybe one day I might wanna, but I'm happy where I'm at."

Rachel frowned as she looked into the mirror. "I didn't think you liked your job."

"I dunno," Finn said. "I mean, I don't really, but I don't really want to look for another one right now."

Rachel sighed softly to herself; she really didn't understand Finn's lack of ambition or why he would ever want to stay at a job he didn't love. Nevertheless, after a few moments, she said, "I'm sorry if you think I'm trying to push you. I really just want you to be happy, Finn, so if you're happy where you are, then I'm happy for you."

* * *

"What's with you?"

Rachel hummed and looked up from the mirror, where she was checking her makeup. "What do you mean?"

Stephanie shrugged and said, "You've been staring into that mirror for a long time."

"Well, we all know I strive for perfection," Rachel said as she took a step back and looked down.

"Seriously, you've been acting different the past few weeks," Stephanie said, walking up, and stopping next to her, leaning her hip against the table, "Actually, since before that. Ever since you said you were going to that reunion of yours, you've been sort of—"

"Weird, I know," Rachel interrupted. "I've been told."

"I was going to say checked out, but weird also works," Stephanie replied.

Rachel sighed to herself; she hadn't expected anyone to notice, especially not one of her coworkers. She could understand Finn detecting that things weren't quite right with her since he knew her better than just about anyone else, but she didn't think anyone else would notice.

"Are you and Finn having problems?" Stephanie asked. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"Why would you think that?" Rachel wondered. "And, no, Finn and I are doing just fine."

"Really?" Stephanie asked. "Then why are you suddenly so contemplative? You've been staring off into space all week, so if it's not relationship troubles, what is it?"

"It's nothing," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"If you want to be the star of a Broadway show, you may want to work on your acting skills," Stephanie said with a smile.

"I am a wonderful actress and you know it," Rachel replied, smiling back. "And I meant it when I said everything between Finn and I are fine."

"Then what's wrong?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel glanced away with a sigh. "There's nothing wrong, per se." She clasped her hands together in front of her and looked down at them. "I know I've alluded to my less than desirable high school experience, and going back to Lima simply brought up a thing or two that I wish had stayed in the past."

Stephanie nodded and then remarked, "I take it the reunion wasn't quite as fine as you made it out to be."

"I wouldn't say that," Rachel replied. "Nothing especially interesting happened there. Everyone was quite civil to one another, which is probably a first since most of the students at McKinley High were anything but civil."

"Something tells me that's not the whole story," Stephanie said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Rachel sat down in the chair in the corner of the room and looked up at Stephanie. "There may have been someone in my past that I wasn't keen on seeing."

"An ex-boyfriend?" Stephanie said, her eyebrows rising.

"Something like that," Rachel replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Seeing this person brought back a lot of memories that I didn't want to think about. Needless to say, things didn't end well between us; I've moved on, we both have, but I suppose there are still some unresolved issues that have been on my mind. Finn and I certainly are not having problems, though. I love him and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him."

"So why do you keep thinking about someone you dated in high school?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel hesitated for a moment; she really didn't know how to answer Stephanie's question. She wasn't sure why she couldn't get high school and Quinn out of her mind, but it had been at the forefront of her mind. No matter how much she tried to forget about the reunion and everything it brought up, she was unable to do so.

"I don't know," Rachel finally admitted.

Stephanie nodded. "You're really not having second thoughts about Finn?"

"Of course not," Rachel replied without hesitation. "The past is just that—it's the past. Finn is my present and my future, and nothing is going to change that. Certainly not something that happened six years ago."

"If you ever need anyone to talk to—" Stephanie shrugged.

"I know where to find you," Rachel said with a smile. "Thank you; I appreciate the offer. As you know, I don't exactly have an overabundance of friends, so it's nice to know I could talk to someone other than Kurt if I so choose."

"You can't talk to Finn?" Stephanie asked.

"I don't know if he would be the best person to talk to about this," Rachel replied. "He—" Rachel sighed. "Finn doesn't exactly know about this past relationship."

Stephanie's eyebrows rose, but just as she was about to say something, someone called out, "Ten minutes!"

"I want to hear more about this later," Stephanie said, pointing at Rachel. "Don't think I'm going to forget."

Rachel stood and gave Stephanie a smile. "I know you won't."

* * *

Rachel glanced into the living room at Finn, who was watching some baseball game on the television while she made lunch. Every now and then he would yell something at the TV, so she guessed whoever he was rooting for was probably losing. Rachel, on the other hand, couldn't care less what was happening even though she would occasionally glance up at the screen. She didn't even know who was playing, though if Finn was watching the game, it probably meant the Reds were one of the teams.

"How is the game going?" Rachel asked.

"It sucks," Finn answered, confirming Rachel's suspicions. "They can't seem to hit the ball."

"I'm sorry," Rachel replied.

"When's lunch going to be ready?" Finn asked, standing up from the couch, and walking toward the kitchen.

"In a few minutes," Rachel replied. "I'm finishing up the sandwiches right now, and the fries only have a few minutes left. They're a new recipe I found online, so I hope they're good. They're garlic, parmesan fries, which I thought you would like."

"They smell awesome," Finn said, smiling at her.

"Thank you," Rachel replied, smiling back. "Hopefully they also taste amazing."

"I'm sure they will," Finn said, reaching out, and grabbing a pickle from one of the plates.

"You'll spoil your appetite," Rachel stated, pulling the plate out of his reach whenever he tried to grab another.

"It's just a pickle," Finn said.

"A pickle that's supposed to be for lunch," Rachel replied. "Which will be ready in only a few minutes."

"Alright, alright," Finn said, holding his hands up in surrender. "Need any help?"

"Thank you for the offer, but everything is just about done," Rachel replied, putting the finishing touches on the last sandwich.

"I'm really glad you fixed lunch," Finn commented, looking over at her, and smiling. "It kinda feels more like how things used to be."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"I mean you've been a little weird since we were in Lima," Finn said, shrugging. "You used to fix lunch a lot, but you haven't really done it since we got back, which is cool, but I've been a little worried about you."

Rachel sighed; she knew Finn was right, and she _was_ fixing lunch in an attempt to get back to the way they were before going to the reunion. She wanted to forget all about the past month and get on with the rest of her life. Unfortunately, it was a little easier said than done.

She knew going to the reunion was going to be a bad idea. Lima held nothing but painful memories that she never wanted to think about again. She had worked so hard to move past everything that had happened with Quinn, but being back in that town had just brought everything back. She was suddenly thinking about things that she hadn't thought of in years, and that was the last thing she wanted right now. She was happy with Finn and that was what she wanted to focus on.

She hated that Quinn had been on her mind and she especially hated that Quinn still had any kind of effect on her. Quinn had walked away from her without looking back, and it wasn't fair that she was still thinking about her in any way. It wasn't fair to her and it certainly wasn't fair to Finn.

Other than Kurt, Finn was her best friend. He had been there for her when she needed someone, when her heart had been broken so badly that she thought it would never heal. Thanks to him, though, it had healed, and she couldn't imagine her life without him. He may not be perfect, but she had accepted that a long time ago; even after all these years, he still left wet towels on the bed, he still didn't turn the television off when he was done watching it, and he had no ambitions when it came to his career. But despite all of that, she still loved him, flaws and all. Which is why she was do determined to forget about her past and focus on the present and the future. A future she was going to be spending with Finn.

"You okay?" Finn asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at her.

"Of course," Rachel said, plastering on a smile. "Why do you ask?"

"Because the timer went off, like, a minute ago," Finn replied.

"Oh, yes," Rachel said, quickly turning around, and grabbing an oven mitt before the fries began to burn.

"You sure you're okay?" Finn asked as she pulled the cookie sheet out of the oven and set it on top of the stove.

"I'm perfect," Rachel said, turning around, and placing her hand atop Finn's.

Finn gave her a lopsided smile. "Good."

* * *

"Hey," Finn said as soon as he walked through the door. "What smells so good?"

"Dinner," Rachel replied, smiling as she looked over at him.

"You made dinner?" Finn asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Of course," Rachel replied.

She didn't know why he sounded so surprised; it wasn't as if she never made dinner. Granted, she was only home one evening a week, but she occasionally made dinner on that night. It hadn't happened for a while, but that's because of the upheaval from going to the reunion. Finn was acting like it was unheard of for her to cook dinner, though.

"What are you making?" Finn asked before leaning down and giving her a quick kiss.

"Well, I'm finishing the salad, and there's lasagna and garlic bread on the table," Rachel said, leaning up to give him another kiss. "I know it's one of your favorites."

"If you want to take this to the table, I'll grab the dressing from the refrigerator and then we can eat," Rachel said, handing Finn the salad bowl.

"Yeah, just let me wash my hands first," Finn said, walking to the kitchen sink.

"So, how was your day?" Rachel asked, setting the bowl on the counter.

"Some woman yelled at me because we were out of some cat food," Finn said, shrugging.

"She couldn't purchase another kind?" Rachel asked with a frown.

"She said her cat'll only eat that one kind," Finn replied. "I told her it'd been ordered and should be in soon, but then she started yelling at me. She was a little scary."

"I'm sorry you had such a rude customer," Rachel said. "I don't understand why everyone can't just be civil to one another. She should know it isn't your fault."

"Customers always think everything's your fault," Finn remarked. "They're always the worst part about working there."

Truthfully, everything seemed like the worst part about working there. Other than the small discount Finn received, she couldn't see any positives about working at the store. Which is why she couldn't understand why Finn was so reluctant to find another job. She promised she wasn't going to say anything else about it, though, so she kept her comments to herself even if she wanted to point out that he could always try to find a job where he didn't have to work with the public.

"This smells so good," Finn said as he walked into the small area they'd designated as their dining room.

"Thank you," Rachel replied with a smile. "It's a new recipe; I even made the sauce from scratch."

"Why didn't you just order from the place down the street?" Finn asked.

"Because I thought it would be more special if I made it myself," Rachel replied. "I know I haven't made dinner for a while, and I wanted to cook for you. You work so hard and I thought you deserved a freshly cooked meal instead of getting takeout."

"Well, it looks great," Finn complimented. "And I maybe have a surprise for you, too."

"Really?" Rachel asked as she and Finn sat down at the same time. "What kind of surprise."

"Well, I was talkin' to Kurt when I was on my break and we were talking about you," Finn said, reaching out, and grabbing a breadstick from the bowl.

"Okay." Rachel furrowed her eyebrows slightly, wondering where Finn was going, "

"These breadsticks are great," Finn said through a mouthful of bread.

"Thank you," Rachel replied. "I also made them from scratch." Rachel smiled. "But what were you saying about talking to Kurt?"

"Oh, yeah," Finn said, swallowing his food. "Kurt's coming."

"What?" Rachel asked, her hand hovering above the bowl of salad.

"Yeah, he hasn't been here in a while and we thought—well, you've been acting a little weird lately and we both thought you could maybe use a friend or something," Finn replied.

"When is he arriving?" Rachel asked.

"Tomorrow," Finn said.

"Tomorrow?" Rachel asked. "He's going to be here tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Finn replied before frowning. "Why do you have that look on your face?"

"Because this apartment is a mess," Rachel said, quickly getting up out of her seat. "We can't have a guest when this place is such a disaster."

"It's just Kurt, and the place looks fine," Finn replied, looking confused.

"Have you seen the living room?" Rachel asked, motioning toward it. "There are things lying all around, and I can't remember the last time I dusted. We need to vacuum and dust and—"

"Rachel," Finn interrupted. "Let's just eat first."

"But—"

"But it'll all still be there after eat," Finn replied. "I promise I'll help you, but can we eat first?"

Rachel let out a long breath and then nodded. "You're right; I'm overreacting."

"So we can eat dinner first?" Finn asked.

Rachel smiled. "Yes, we can eat dinner first."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

Rachel quickly nodded as she looked into Quinn's eyes. She had never been more sure of anything, which was saying something since she'd been sure from an early age that she was going to appear on Broadway one day. Truthfully, she'd been waiting for this moment for a long time, and now that it was here, she wasn't the least bit nervous. Okay, maybe a little, but not because she was having second thoughts about it. She was only nervous because she'd been thinking about this moment for the past year, and now that it was finally there, she realized she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing. Because no amount of research had fully prepared her for that moment.

Her shirt was lying somewhere on the floor of her bedroom, probably somewhere close to Quinn's dress, and she couldn't remember the last time she felt so self-conscious. But despite the sudden feelings of shyness, she was also excited. She'd been waiting for this moment all her life, and she couldn't imagine a more perfect person to have her moment with.

"I love you," Rachel said after a few moments of silence.

"I love you, too," Quinn softly replied.

Quinn leaned down, bringing their lips together, and causing Rachel to moan. When Quinn ran her hand down Rachel's side, she elicited more sounds of pleasure, which seemed to spur the blonde on. She knew Quinn was also nervous, but the more Rachel responded, the more sure of herself Quinn seemed to become.

"Quinn," Rachel gasped out when Quinn nipped at her flesh as she kissed her way down Rachel's neck.

"Yeah?" Quinn asked, and Rachel could actually hear the smirk in her voice.

"I—" Rachel gripped the sheets, losing all train of thought when Quinn bit her neck again and ran her hand over Rachel's left breast. "Oh, God, Quinn."

Rachel's eyes flew open and she turned over, quickly hitting the snooze button to stop the obnoxious sound of the alarm. Finn groaned next to her and she looked over to find him squinting at the light coming through the gap in the curtains.

"It's too early," Finn said, turning over, and burying his head in his pillow.

"It's seven-thirty," Rachel replied. "You have to be at work in an hour and a half."

Finn groaned again and flipped onto his back. "Yeah, but you woke me up a couple times last night with your noises."

"Noises?" Rachel asked. "What kind of noises?"

"I don't know," Finn replied. "You were just—it was like you were being chased or running or something. Kinda like last time."

"Oh," Rachel said, looking away. "Well, I'm sorry I woke you."

"What's going on?" Finn asked, sounding more than a little sleepy. "You keep having these nightmares."

"I don't know," Rachel lied. "Maybe I've been eating too late in the evening. I hear that can cause bad dreams."

She felt terrible for lying to Finn, but what else was she going to say? That she kept reliving her first time with Quinn, a relationship he knew nothing about? She couldn't tell him the truth, so she would rather him assume she was having nightmares. And in a way, they were. Thinking about that first night she spent with Quinn was something she certainly didn't want to relive over and over, yet she'd had the same dream several times a week for the past few weeks. It was frustrating, to say the least.

"What are they even about?" Finn mumbled, throwing his arm over his face.

"I-I can't remember," Rachel lied. "Whenever I wake up, it all just fades away."

"That's weird," Finn replied.

"The only thing I can really remember is that I'm in this room" Rachel said, sitting up, and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed before looking over her shoulder at Finn. "Are you going to take a shower?"

"Yeah," Finn replied, removing his arm from his face, and yawning. "Just give me a few more minutes."

"Of course, but you don't want to be late, do you?" Rachel asked.

Finn groaned again and finally threw the covers off, sitting up. "Fine, I'll shower."

"Just think, after today, you'll have three days off," Rachel said, giving him an encouraging smile.

"Yeah," Finn said, smiling sleepily back.

"Plus, Kurt will be here, and that's always fun," Rachel added.

"Yeah, I can't wait," Finn said, standing up, and walking around the bed to give Rachel a kiss. "I'll be out in a few."

"Take your time," Rachel replied, smiling up at him. "I'll be in the kitchen making breakfast. How does that sound?"

"That sounds awesome, but you don't have to," Finn said, shrugging. "You've cooked the last few days."

"How do pancakes sound?" Rachel asked, standing up, and putting her arms around Finn's waist.

"Sounds awesome," Finn replied.

Rachel nodded and then put her head against Finn's chest. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Finn replied, kissing the top of her head.

"I don't know what I would do without you," Rachel said, closing her eyes, and listening to the beating of Finn's heart.

"Well, you'll never have to find out," Finn replied, squeezing her shoulders.

"I hope not," Rachel quietly whispered to herself.


	14. Think About It

**Chapter 14 – Think About It**

"Kurt!" Rachel said in surprise, dropping her bag, and immediately rushing over to embrace her friend. "I thought your flight was delayed!"

"A vicious lie to surprise you," Kurt said, hugging her back.

"And you went along with it?!" Rachel accused, pointing at Finn when she released Kurt.

Finn held up his hands and said, "It's not my fault."

"I did kind of make him," Kurt added.

"Well, I'm very mad at you both," Rachel replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You know you're just happy I'm here," Kurt said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and guiding her toward the living room.

"You're right," Rachel admitted, looking over at him with a smile.

"I know it's late, but there's pizza on the way," Kurt said, squeezing her shoulder. "And I thought we could watch a movie."

Rachel's smile grew. "You mean like—"

"Like our first night here when I finally decided to move up here," Kurt finished for her. "Yes. I thought it was only appropriate."

"Have I told you how much I miss you living here?" Rachel asked.

Every day she missed Kurt's presence in New York. It was wonderful having her boyfriend and her best friend under the same roof, and she hated that Kurt had to move. She understood it; Burt was sick and Carole needed someone there to help her. Plus, she knew how much he would regret it if something happened to Burt and he hadn't been there in the end. She just wished it didn't mean her best friend was six hundred miles away.

"What movie are we watching?" Finn asked, sitting down on the couch.

"I'm thinking a musical," Kurt said.

"Please, no," Finn replied.

"I'm thinking a musical, too," Rachel said, smiling. "Maybe Burlesque."

"That movie's horrible," Finn said, shaking her head.

"Rachel's right, we have to watch Burlesque," Kurt replied.

"Seriously?" Finn asked.

"It was the movie we watched on our first night here," Rachel said, looking at Finn. "We had so much fun that night."

"Fine," Finn said, sighing as he stood up. "I'm gonna go make some popcorn."

"So, how are you?" Kurt asked Rachel when Finn was on his way to the kitchen.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied.

"No, really," Kurt said.

"I'm fine," Rachel repeated. "Really."

"Even Finn has noticed that something isn't right with you, and we all know he isn't the most observant," Kurt said. "I tried to tell him that it was just because you were in Lima again, but we both know there's a little more to it than that. Namely a certain blonde from your past."

"I don't want to discuss that," Rachel replied. "I've put all that behind me and I'm moving on with my life again. I don't want to discuss or even think about that. About her."

"You know I'm here because Finn is worried about you, right?" Kurt said. "You've obviously not put it behind you or he wouldn't have suggested I come."

"But I have," Rachel replied, looking toward the kitchen to make sure Finn was still there. "Everything is fine, Kurt. There's certainly nothing to worry about. Maybe things were a little strained for a while, but things are back to normal now. Finn and I are doing wonderful, and I haven't thought about her all week. I love Finn and we're going to spend our lives together. That's what's important; nothing, and no one, from my past is going to change that, and especially not someone who doesn't deserve a second thought."

"What are you guys talking about?" Finn asked.

"If the pizza is going to take two hours like before," Rachel easily lied.

"I hope not," Finn said. "I'm starving; Kurt wouldn't let me eat when I got home."

"Well, I wanted to wait until you got home," Kurt replied, looking at Rachel, and then turning back to look at Finn. "There's nothing wrong with that. And don't think I didn't see you with that bowl of cereal earlier."

"Should we wait until the pizza is here before we begin the movie or should we start it now?" Rachel asked, looking between the two men in the room.

"I say we get it over with," Finn said.

"I vote we wait," Kurt added.

"Looks like it's up to you, Rach," Finn said, opening the microwave, and pulling out the bag of popcorn.

"I suppose it is," Rachel said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Well?" Kurt asked.

"Let's start it now," Rachel said, looking into the kitchen, and giving Finn a smile. "I'm sure dinner will be here soon."

Kurt sighed. "I hate being outnumbered."

"I'm sorry, but if we begin watching it now, we won't be up so late," Rachel replied. "After all, I'm sure you've had a long day; I know I certainly have."

"Fine," Kurt said, standing up. "I'll put the movie in."

"Thank you," Rachel said, smiling at her friend.

* * *

"So," Kurt said, giving her an expectant look.

"So—what?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows.

"So, Finn isn't here," Kurt said, motioning around.

"No, he isn't," Rachel agreed, wondering why Kurt was being so cryptic.

Kurt's eyebrows rose as if she should know what he was talking about. "Well?"

"Kurt, you're going to have to talk in complete sentences." Rachel said, opening the refrigerator, and putting her soymilk back inside.

"How are you really?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed to herself as she stepped up to the island and wrapped her hands around her mug of coffee. "I told you last night that I'm fine. There isn't anything else to talk about."

"Of course there's more to talk about," Kurt argued. "Rachel, I'm your best friend; I know when you're really fine and I know when something is bothering you, and something is still definitely bothering you."

Rachel didn't know what Kurt wanted her to say. She _was_ fine, but he obviously wasn't going to believe her. Her life was back on track, and she really didn't want to keep dredging up the past. She'd told Kurt everything—the only time she had ever done that—and she was done talking about it. She just wanted to put the reunion behind her, but Kurt constantly asking her how she was doing was making it difficult to do.

"Finn said you've been having nightmares," Kurt commented.

"Yes, I've had a few vivid dreams," Rachel admitted.

"A few?" Kurt asked. "He said it's been happening every night."

"That's an exaggeration," Rachel replied before putting her face in her hands and mumbling, "And they're not really nightmares."

"What was that?" Kurt asked.

"I said they're not really nightmares," Rachel repeated. "At least not in the traditional sense."

"In what kind of sense, then?" Kurt asked.

Rachel felt herself blushing, and she knew in the way Kurt narrowed his eyes that he had detected it. She wasn't about to say out loud that she'd been having intimate dreams about Quinn. She knew it would only spur him on even more, and there was only so many times she could say that she was fine.

"Oh my god!" Kurt said, his face lighting up. "You're—"

"Don't say it," Rachel replied, holding her hand up.

"Are you having sex dreams?" Kurt loudly whispered, leaning forward.

"I told you not to say it," Rachel said with a groan.

"About Quinn?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt!" Rachel said, her eyes widening.

"We're alone, Rachel," Kurt reminded her.

"I don't care," Rachel replied. "I would rather not discuss this now. Or ever. I told you that I'm moving on with my life and I meant it. Maybe things were on my mind for a while, which is only natural after experiencing an event such as a high school reunion, but that's over now."

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked.

"Of course," Rachel said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Okay," Kurt replied, though he still didn't look completely convinced.

"I promise if there's ever anything new to talk about, you'll certainly be the one I talk to," Rachel promised.

"Well, I _am_ your best friend," Kurt pointed out. "Not to mention the fact that I'm kind of your only option."

"Does this mean you'll drop it?" Rachel asked. "I don't want to dwell, and you're making it difficult when you keep bringing it up."

"Yes, I'll drop it," Kurt replied. "Unless I see evidence to the contrary, I'll accept you saying you're fine."

"Good," Rachel said. "Now, tell me about what's been going on in your life in the past few weeks. How's Burt?"

"He has his good days and his bad days," Kurt answered. "They say the chemo is working and the tumor is shrinking, but it makes him sick most days."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, reaching across the island, and squeezing his hand. "I know how difficult it's been." Rachel gave him a small smile. "But it's good that it's working, right? Even if it's making him ill, at least it's not for nothing. He's strong and determined and he'll beat this thing. He did once before and he will now. I am completely confident of that."

"I hope you're right," Kurt replied, looking down at his coffee.

"Of course I'm right," Rachel said, squeezing his hand again.

Kurt smiled. "In more positive news, I had a date last week."

"You did?" Rachel asked, withdrawing her hand, and smiling back. "So, who was the lucky guy?"

"He's a nurse at Lima Memorial," Kurt said. "He's working on becoming on a doctor."

"So? How was the date?" Rachel asked.

"He took me to a nice restaurant and then we took a walk through Allen Park before going to the opening of the new art museum that just opened in town," Kurt relayed.

"And?" Rachel asked.

"And it was nice," Kurt replied.

"Just nice?" Rachel asked.

Kurt sighed. "Just nice."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said with a slight frown. "Mr. Right is out there somewhere; I'm sure you'll find him sooner or later."

"Can it be sooner rather than later?" Kurt asked.

"Be patient," Rachel replied. "I firmly believe there is someone out there for everyone, and you're no exception."

"I hope you're right," Kurt commented.

"Don't you know I'm always right about these things?" Rachel grinned. "I have a sixth sense, you know?"

* * *

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rachel said, heavily dropping into a chair with a huff.

"That wasn't very convincing," Stephanie said, putting her hands on her hips.

"I guess it's a good thing I feel the need to convince you, isn't it?" Rachel replied a little more forcefully than she had intended.

Stephanie's eyebrows rose and she looked slightly amused, which only annoyed Rachel even more than she already was. After a moment, she looked away from Stephanie's smirking face and crossed her arms over her chest in a display of her annoyance. She hoped Stephanie would take it as a hint and leave her alone, but rather than walking away, she sat down in the seat next to Rachel, dashing all hopes that she would be left alone to stew in her anger.

"Why do you look like someone told you Barbra Streisand died?" Stephanie asked.

"First, I don't want to talk about it, and two, this isn't the face I would be making if Barbra died," Rachel replied. "I would be sobbing uncontrollably."

"Fine, so why are you making this face?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel sighed and looked away. "Because the last person I expected to see is here tonight."

"What?" Stephanie asked.

"Remember that someone from my past who I was talking about?" Rachel said. "They're here."

She still couldn't believe it, but it was true; Quinn Fabray was in attendance. It was certainly something she never expected, and it had angered her the moment she saw the blonde. It had happened in the middle of the first act, and she had stumbled into one of the other actors when she saw her. It wasn't exactly easy to see faces in the audience most of the time, but it was unmistakably Quinn.

"Wow," Stephanie said after a few moments.

"I know," Rachel replied. "I can't believe she's here, and I don't know how I'm going to walk back out on that stage when I know she's there." Rachel huffed. "Actually, you know what? That is my stage; she's the one who shouldn't be here. I can't believe she had the audacity to come here after everything she did to me."

"She?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel looked down at her hands. "Yes—she."

"So, your ex-girlfriend, who I'm assuming broke your heart and who your current fiancé knows nothing about, is here?" Stephanie asked.

"That about sums it up," Rachel said with a slight nod. "And until very recently, I was unaware she was also living in New York. You can imagine my surprise when I found out that piece of information. I know she talked about moving here while we were together, but I assumed that went away when she made it clear that our relationship meant nothing."

"What exactly happened at that reunion of yours?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel shrugged. "What happens at all high school reunions? Everyone reminisced and I was reminded of all the things I moved here to get away from." Rachel paused for a few seconds. "She tried to speak with me. Several times, in fact. After we broke up, she didn't say more than a few words to me. For a year and a half, she didn't talk to me. Actually it was worse than that; for a year and a half, she acted as if I didn't exist. Like the year we spent together never happened."

"I have one question," Stephanie said, furrowing her brows. "If you and Finn went to high school together, how does he not know about this?"

"Because it was a secret," Rachel answered. "_We_ were a secret. I couldn't tell anyone because she was too afraid of what would happen if people ever found out. Even when she broke my heart, I kept her secret. I was slowly dying inside and I couldn't even tell anyone. I had no one to talk to when I needed it the most." Rachel sniffed. "It took me years to get over it, and she has no right to to try come back into my life now."

"So don't let her back in," Stephanie said.

"Don't worry; that's certainly not a problem," Rachel replied.

"So, what's the problem with her being here, then?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel gave a determined nod and said, "You're right. It's only a problem if I let it become one, and I'm not going to let it."

"So you're good?" Stephanie asked.

"Better than good," Rachel replied. "I'm not going to let this get to me. I'm going to go out on that stage as if it were any other night." Rachel stood and put her hands on her hips. "I'm not going to let her get to me."

* * *

Rachel wasn't surprised when she walked out of the stage door and saw the small group of people gathered around. Since moving up from the ensemble, there were usually some people who would ask for her autograph, but it was nothing compared to Stephanie and Thomas, the two leads. The first time she'd walked out and no one scrambled for her autograph, she'd been more than a little envious of her coworkers, but she was confident that would be her one day, and she was simply biding her time until that day came.

"You have that face again," Stephanie said as she came up behind her.

"That's because she's here," Rachel replied, pursing her lips.

"Which one?" Stephanie asked, scanning the crowd.

"The blonde in the light blue and white dress," Rachel replied.

"Wow," Stephanie said with a light laugh. "I can see why you were so hung up on her. She's pretty."

"Hush," Rachel said, nudging Stephanie with her elbow.

"What are you going to do?" Stephanie asked.

"I'm going to ignore her," Rachel replied. "Actually, no, I'm going to see what she's doing here."

With that, Rachel walked toward Quinn, stopping directly in front of her. Quinn looked a little surprised, but her face quickly became passive.

"Can we talk?" Rachel asked, though she began walking away before Quinn could give her an answer.

Rachel walked past the crowd, thankfully without anyone stopping her to ask for her autograph. On any other occasion she would be disappointed, but on this night, she was glad. She just wanted to find out why Quinn was there without any interruptions, so she could go home and spend the rest of the night with her best friend and her fiancé.

"What did you want to talk about?" Quinn asked when Rachel finally stopped walking.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel demanded to know.

"Does it matter?" Quinn asked. "I didn't know I was coming here, okay? One of my coworkers set me up with her friend, and she brought me here. I had no idea where we were going until we got here."

"You're on a date," Rachel stated.

"Yeah, I'm on a date," Quinn confirmed.

Rachel opened her mouth but closed it without saying anything. She couldn't help feeling surprised that Quinn was there on a date with another woman. She knew Quinn was a lesbian and completely uninterested in men, but given how she acted when they were dating, she honestly didn't think Quinn would ever be open about it. Part of her expected Quinn to spend the rest of her life living a lie and eventually settle down with a man even if it meant she would never truly be happy.

"Oh," Rachel eventually said.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"Then, I guess I should let you get back to your date," Rachel said, looking anywhere but at Quinn.

"Yeah, I guess so," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded, glancing at Quinn for a moment before looking away again. "Have a good time on your date. Goodbye, Quinn."

"I think that's the most civil thing you've said to me in the last month," Quinn said.

Rachel scowled and wanted to respond, but she remained silent. Quinn was obviously joking given the slight smile on her face, but that didn't mean Rachel appreciated it. She had every right to be angry with Quinn and she wasn't going to feel bad about it. So what if she'd snapped at Quinn once or twice? It was nothing compared to the way Quinn had treated her over the years.

"Goodnight, Rachel," Quinn softly said.

Rachel looked over as Quinn began walking away. She eventually stopped in front of some redheaded woman, who Rachel assumed was her date for the evening. Rachel quickly looked away, not wanting Quinn to think she was staring or curious about her date in any way. As she looked away, though, Stephanie caught her eye. Her friend had a smirk on her face and was walking toward Rachel with a knowing glint in her eyes that Rachel didn't appreciate.

"So?" Stephanie asked.

"So she's on a date and she didn't know she was coming here," Rachel explained.

"A date, huh?" Stephanie said.

"Don't," Rachel said before Stephanie could say anything further. "I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"Goodnight," Stephanie said, not bothering to hide the amusement in her voice.

* * *

"She was there tonight," Rachel said, throwing her bag on the couch, and causing Kurt to look up in alarm.

"Who was where?" Kurt asked, frowning.

"Quinn," Rachel replied. "Quinn was at the show tonight. I was up there on the stage when I saw her in the audience.

"Oh," Kurt responded.

"Yes, 'oh'," Rachel said with a huff. "Kurt, I walked into James and I'm afraid to say it was very noticeable. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed."

Rachel huffed again, thankful that Kurt was the only one there at the moment. Finn had been called in on his day off, which was nothing unusual. She was a little surprised that he had gone in considering Kurt was there, but she could understand. The extra money certainly wouldn't hurt, and she knew Finn kind of hoped to one day move up at the store even if that hope was probably in vain.

"Even if she was on a date, I can't believe she actually came," Rachel added.

"She was on a date?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, with some woman," Rachel replied. "I thought I made it perfectly clear at the Lima Bean that I didn't want to see her. She should have had the decency to go elsewhere the moment she realized she was seeing my show."

The more she thought about it on the way home, the angrier she had become that Quinn had been at the show. She'd tried to forget about it, but every time she told herself she was going to put it out of her mind, it seemed to creep back in. And she knew she was probably overreacting, but that didn't seem to calm her down.

"She had no right to be there," Rachel continued. "She lost that right a long time ago. She was just sitting there as if nothing had ever happened. I guess she's good at that, though; she certainly had enough practice in high school."

"Rachel," Kurt said, holding up his hands.

"What?" Rachel asked, deflating a bit.

Kurt seemed to hesitate for a moment before saying, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Rachel replied.

"Why are you so angry?" Kurt asked.

"Because she should have had the decency to go elsewhere," Rachel replied.

"Not just about tonight," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I get that she hurt you, but it's been years. Six years, in fact. I know you love Finn, but—"

"But what?" Rachel asked.

"But is it possible that the reason you're still so hurt and angry is because you still have feelings for her?" Kurt finished.

"I don—no, of course not," Rachel replied, frowning. "Why would you even ask that?"

"Because I think it's obvious that you do," Kurt said, shaking his head. "And I don't even think you realize it."

"I do not have feelings for Quinn," Rachel firmly stated.

"Rachel, I love you, but you can be pretty oblivious sometimes," Kurt said, taking both of her hands, and looking directly into her eyes. "You shouldn't still be this angry over a relationship that was over so long ago. You say you're over it, but you care too much to be over it. People who are over something don't get this angry over seeing their ex."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Rachel replied.

"Maybe not, but maybe it's something you should think about," Kurt said.

"I don't want to think about it," Rachel replied. "I don't need to think about it. I love Finn."

"I'm not saying you don't," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I'm just saying he might not be the only one you love."

Rachel scoffed. "Of course he's the only person I love."

"Rachel, Sweetie—"

"No," Rachel interrupted, pulling her hands away from Kurt.

Kurt sighed and leaned back on the couch. She knew he wanted to argue with her, but she was thankful that he remained silent. She didn't know how he could possibly think she still loved Quinn. Just because she was angry with her for coming to her show, it didn't mean she still had feelings for her. It simply meant she didn't want to see her again, which was going to be difficult if she was showing up at her place of employment.

"Look—"

Rachel shushed him, hearing keys in the front door. She didn't want to talk about it anymore, and she certainly wasn't going to talk about it with Finn in the apartment.

"Are you guys home?" Finn called out as soon as he opened the door.

"We're in the living room," Rachel called back.

"Hey," Finn said, coming into the room, and giving Rachel a kiss.

"How was your day?" Rachel asked, giving him a small smile.

"Long," Finn replied. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Are you hungry?" Rachel asked. "I could order food."

"Yeah, I'm starving," Finn said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'll order from someplace fast, then," Rachel said, standing up.

"Thanks, Rach," Finn replied, giving her another kiss.

Finn smiled at her and then headed for the bedroom. When the door closed behind him, Rachel took a deep breath, trying to relieve some of the stress she was feeling.

"Not another word from you," Rachel said, pointing at Kurt when he opened his mouth.

"I was just going to ask where you're ordering from," Kurt said, holding his hands up.

Rachel narrowed her eyes; she didn't believe Kurt for a moment, but at least with Finn in the apartment, she knew he would drop it. Unfortunately, Kurt wasn't the type to let things go for long. She just hoped he would come to his senses before he began accusing her of still loving Quinn again.


	15. Back Again

**Chapter 15 – Back Again**

"So, what are you two doing today?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her orange juice.

Finn shrugged. "I dunno."

"I don't know about today, but I would like to do some shopping before I leave tomorrow," Kurt replied, looking at Rachel. "Lima is definitely lacking in the fashion department."

"I wish you didn't have to leave so soon," Rachel said with a frown. "It feels like you just got here."

"I know, but dad has to go to the doctor on Monday and I really should be there," Kurt replied.

"I understand, but I wish we could have spent more time together," Rachel said, giving him a sad smile.

"Maybe we can go visit Kurt some time," Finn suggested.

"Maybe," Rachel replied.

As much as she loved Kurt, she couldn't foresee visiting Lima again anytime soon. Even if Quinn was no longer there, it still wasn't a place she wanted to be. With the exception of her short time with Quinn, she was never happy there, and even her happy memories were now tainted. She wasn't like Finn; she couldn't think fondly back at her time in Lima. She had never felt like she belonged there, and she didn't want to spend another day of her life in that town.

"I do know one thing we're doing today," Kurt announced after a few moments, a smirk on his face.

"What's that?" Rachel asked.

Kurt glanced at Finn and then said, "We're coming to your show."

"Really?" Rachel asked, smiling.

"Yeah, I haven't been in a while, and Kurt hasn't seen it since you moved out of the assembly or whatever," Finn said.

"Ensemble," Rachel corrected. "And that's wonderful!"

"I thought you would think so," Kurt replied.

"Why didn't you let me know earlier?" Rachel asked. "I'm sure I could have gotten you better seats."

"They're not bad," Kurt said with a shrug.

Rachel frowned, wondering why there were still decent seats available so close to the day of the show. She decided to put it out of her mind, though, and focus on the fact that her best friend and her fiancé were going to be at the show that evening. Every show was thrilling, but there was always something about having a friend in the audience that made it that much more special. The only thing that would have made it better was if she was going on for Stephanie that night.

"So, you really don't have any other plans for today?" Rachel asked.

"Not really," Finn said, shrugging. "I figured we could just hang out today or something."

"Well, I was thinking about going to a museum or two," Kurt replied. "Like maybe the Guggenheim."

Finn groaned. "Dude, you know I hate that place."

"Nothing says you have to go," Kurt replied. "But it's been awhile since I got to go, and I want to. Who knows when I'll be back here again."

"Hopefully not too long," Rachel remarked.

"Hopefully not," Kurt agreed. "Maybe we'll get some good news on Monday."

"What's going on on Monday?" Finn asked.

"They're running some tests to see if this round of chemo has worked," Kurt said. "If not, the doctor's will figure out where to go from there."

"Do they think it's working?" Finn asked. "Mom said he's doing better."

"It's hard to say," Kurt replied. "We thought he was doing fine the last time, too, and look how that turned out."

"I'm sure everything is going to be okay," Rachel said, reaching out, and putting her hand over Kurt's. "Burt is strong; he's going to fight this. Not only is he going to fight it, but he's going to win."

Finn nodded. "Yeah, Rachel's right. Burt's gonna be okay."

Rachel had a reassuring smile on her face as she squeezed Kurt's hand, but if there's anything she'd learned over the years it was that life was unpredictable. She hoped more than anything that she was telling the truth, though. She knew it would destroy Kurt if he were to lose his father, not to mention Carole and Finn. Carole had already lost one husband, and Finn and Kurt had both lost a parent as children. She couldn't imagine any of them having to go through that again.

"Whole wheat, blueberry pancakes with a side of fruit," the waiter said, setting a plate down in front of Rachel. "A breakfast platter, extra bacon and sausage." He set the large plate in front of Finn. "And a garden omelet."

"Thank you," Rachel said.

"Does anyone need anything else?" he asked.

"I believe we have everything, thank you," Rachel said, giving him a smile.

"Okay, let's talk about something happier," Kurt said as the waiter walked away.

"Like what?" Finn asked.

"Like us going to Guggenheim this afternoon," Kurt said, raising his eyebrows at his stepbrother.

* * *

"Are we ever going to talk about it again?" Kurt asked.

"Talk about what?" Rachel asked, though she knew exactly what he was referring to.

"Don't play innocent," Kurt replied. "I've known you too long to believe it."

Rachel sighed. "Look, Kurt, I appreciate that you're concerned, but you shouldn't be. There's nothing really to talk about."

"There's a lot to talk about," Kurt argued. "Like why you're still so angry after all these years."

"Wouldn't you be?" Rachel asked.

"To some extent, yes," Kurt replied. "I'll admit that I'm still a little angry at Blaine for what he did, but I saw him at the reunion and we were cordial to one another. And if I saw him again tomorrow, I wouldn't be angry about it; indifferent maybe, but not angry." Kurt put his hand over hers and looked into her eyes. "Sweetie, I just think you should look at why you're still so angry. People who are over things aren't so emotional about them."

"As I said, I appreciate your concern, but there's really nothing to worry about," Rachel said. "I'm fine."

Kurt didn't look convinced as he squeezed her hand and then released it, sitting back. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

"No one is going to get hurt," Rachel promised.

Kurt's eyebrow rose. "Are you sure about that?"

"Of course," Rachel replied.

"Don't you think if Finn ever found out about—"

"He's not going to," Rachel said, glancing toward the bedroom door to make sure Finn was still in there showering. "There's no point in telling him now; it would only upset him. And I'm sure he's had past relationships that we haven't talked about. We were broken up for nearly two years, after all."

Kurt looked away and she knew she was right. They never really discussed the time between when she broke up with him after graduation and when they began dating again after he moved to New York. She never felt the need to, though; she was the one who broke up with Finn and it wasn't as if she could fault him for dating other women. Truthfully, the thought hadn't even bothered her. When they decided to give their relationship another try, they had both agreed to put the past behind them and go into the relationship with a fresh start.

Still, she knew Finn would be hurt if he ever found out about her relationship with Quinn. Maybe if it was someone else he wouldn't care as much, but considering it was Quinn Fabray, the girl who dumped him in high school, she knew it could potentially bring up a lot of issues. Plus, it wasn't just her secret to tell. Sure, Quinn had been on a date with another women, but that didn't mean she was out to the people she went to high school with. In fact, since it hadn't come up at all during the reunion, there was no doubt in Rachel's mind that people still didn't know. If they had, she was sure it would have been one of the biggest topics of conversation.

"You know I'm sure looking out for both of you, right?" Kurt asked. "I love you and Finn, and I don't want to see either of you hurt. I just want you to truly be sure that you're ready to marry him. And that you're not thinking about someone else when you're on that altar."

"Do you really think I would do that?" Rachel asked with a frown.

"Not on purpose, no," Kurt replied. "But that's why I want you to think about why you're still so angry over everything that happened. Maybe you'll realize you're angry over nothing, but maybe you won't. As much as it would hurt Finn, it's better to hurt him now than even further down the road."

"I don't need to think about it," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Well, can you think about thinking about?" Kurt asked, giving her a slight smile.

"Will it make you feel better?" Rachel asked back.

"Yes," Kurt replied.

"Fine," Rachel sighed, "I will think about thinking about it."

"Good," Kurt said. "You know I'm only looking out for you, right? Both of you?"

"Yes," Rachel replied.

She knew Kurt was only pushing because he thought it was for the best, but she sometimes wished he wouldn't. She didn't want to think about Quinn; she wanted to get her out of her mind and go on with her life. She wanted to pretend she never saw her again and get back to the way things were before she went to the reunion.

"When do you have to leave?" Rachel asked when she saw Kurt look at the clock on the wall.

"My taxi will be here in a little under three hours," Kurt replied.

Rachel gave a sad nod, but then smiled a few moments later. "How would you feel about watching Rent?"

"I think that sounds perfect," Kurt said, smiling back.

* * *

"Did you ever figure out what flowers you wanted?" Finn asked.

"What?" Rachel asked, looking over her shoulder.

"For the wedding," Finn replied. "A couple months ago you were talking about the flowers or something."

"Oh, that," Rachel said.

"Yeah, so, did you ever figure it out?" Finn asked.

"I-I haven't really thought about it," Rachel admitted.

Since agreeing to go to the reunion, all thoughts of their wedding had been pushed aside. Before she received that fateful envelope in the mail, the wedding was always on her mind, but then her thoughts had turned to other things. She was no longer thinking about whether it should be an indoor or an outdoor wedding—she wanted the former and Finn wanted the latter—where they should go on their honeymoon, or what flowers would be best for a spring wedding.

"Oh," Finn said. "Why not?"

"I've guess I've just been focused on work," Rachel replied, turning toward her closet, and pushing a few of her dresses to the side. "And before that, I was thinking about the reunion. I'm sure I'll begin planning again soon."

She had been so excited to plan their wedding since the moment Finn proposed, and while she wouldn't say she'd be obsessive about it, it was certainly a major topic of conversation. As much as she'd talked about it, she imagined Finn had been annoyed by it even if he'd never said anything, and he was probably happy about the reprieve.

"You're gonna start planning it again, though, right?" Finn asked.

"Of course!" Rachel replied. "Once everything's settled down, I'll begin planning it again immediately. It is only a year away, after all, and I want everything to be perfect."

"It will be," Finn said.

Rachel smiled and glanced over her shoulder. She hated that some of the excitement over their engagement had dulled over the past few months, and she wanted nothing more than to get that feeling back. Unfortunately, Kurt's comments while he was New York had made everything even worse, if that was possible.

She kept hearing Kurt's voice in her head asking her why she was so angry. Why she still cared so much that Quinn had broken her heart in high school. Why she couldn't just move past everything when she was happy with Finn. As much as she didn't want to think about any of it, she couldn't seem to help it. It was there every time she looked at Finn whether she wanted it to be or not, and as long as it was on her mind, she knew she was never going to get the excitement back.

"I still think we should have an outdoor wedding," Finn said front behind her.

"I know you do," Rachel replied.

"Like at a beach or something," Finn added. "Wouldn't that be cool? We could bring all our friends and family and then have that party afterwards on the sand. Maybe at, like, sunset."

"You really don't want an indoor wedding," Rachel asked, though she already knew the answer.

"I just think doing it outside would be more fun," Finn said, shrugging. "Don't you think?"

"Maybe," Rachel replied, pulling one of her black dresses out from the closet, and turning toward Finn.

"I'm not saying we have to, but I just think it'd be kinda cool, you know?" Finn said, sitting down on the bed.

Rachel pulled off her towel and tossed it over the back of the chair. They hadn't exactly talked about who they were going to invite the wedding, and for a moment she wondered if he was going to want to invite everyone that was in Glee Club with them. She really hoped he didn't—he wasn't even close with a lot of them—but it was something she could see him wanting. Really, she could see him wanting them to perform at the reception, which was something she was certainly not for.

"Will you zip me?" Rachel asked when she pulled the dress up.

"Are you gonna be home between your shows?" Finn asked as he began pulling her zipper up.

"Actually, I think I'll stay around the theater today," Rachel replied. "Stephanie was talking about getting a late lunch, and I thought I may go to that new store Kurt was telling me about. Unless you want me to come home for a little bit."

"Nah," Finn said, shrugging. "I was just wondering if you wanted me to pick something up for lunch, but you go have fun with your friend."

Rachel smiled and then leaned up and kissed Finn before grabbing her towel from the chair and walking into the bathroom to hang it up.

* * *

"Thank you!"

"You're very welcome," Rachel said, smiling at the dark haired girl, handing back her program and permanent marker.

Rachel took a couple more pictures and signed another autograph before she moved past the crowd that had gathered. When she looked back, Stephanie and Thomas were still near the front of the line, so she gave them a slight wave to let them know she'd see them the next day.

"Hey."

Rachel stopped in her tracks when she heard Quinn's voice. She looked over, her view previously blocked by several fans, to see Quinn standing there with her hands clasped together.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked, glancing around as if someone was going to catch her talking to Quinn.

"Don't worry, I'm just here to talk to you," Quinn replied.

Which is exactly what Rachel was worried about; she didn't want to talk to Quinn. Really she didn't know what the blonde could possibly have to say to her. Not now; not after all these years. She would have given anything for Quinn to try to talk to her after they had broken up, but that ship had long sailed.

"Actually, I came to ask if you'd maybe like to get coffee," Quinn said. "I want to talk—to _really_ talk this time."

Rachel ducked her head. The last time Quinn had wanted to talk over coffee hadn't exactly ended well, which she would fully accept the blame for. She hadn't really meant to blow up at Quinn the way she had, but she'd kept everything in for so long that her anger had just sort of slipped out. Then again, Quinn seemed to have that effect on her a lot; things often just happened when Quinn was around whether Rachel meant them to or not.

"What do you say?" Quinn asked. "Tomorrow? Or whenever you're free."

"Why?" Rachel asked. "Why now?"

"Why not now?" Quinn asked back.

Rachel didn't say anything for a moment. She knew it would probably be a terrible idea to have coffee with Quinn, but a small part of her was telling her to go. Maybe it would help her get better closure to everything and allow her to finally and truly move on with her life. That's what she wanted, after all.

"It's just coffee, Rachel," Quinn added.

"Alright, yes," Rachel replied after a few moments. "We may have coffee."

"Tomorrow?" Quinn asked.

"Actually, tomorrow won't work for me," Rachel replied. "Finn and I have lunch plans. How is Saturday? We can do it before my matinee show."

"Saturday will work," Quinn said with a nod.

"There's a small coffee shop around the corner—"

"Witter's," Quinn said. "I know it."

"Is eleven alright?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "Yeah, that's fine."

Rachel nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before taking a few steps forward. She stopped after a moment, though, and turned back to look at Quinn. "I'm with Finn now."

"I'm quite aware," Quinn said, looking almost amused.

"I just wanted that to be very clear," Rachel stated.

"It's kind of hard to miss," Quinn remarked.

"Okay, then," Rachel said with a nod. "As long as that's clear."

She didn't know what Quinn's intentions were, but she didn't want there to be any doubt about her relationship with Finn. Considering the way things ended between them and how Quinn ignored her as if nothing had ever happened between them, she doubted Quinn was there to try to win her back, but she thought it would be best to cover her bases. If she didn't mean enough to Quinn to fight for them at the time, she highly doubted the blonde was still harboring any feelings for her after all these years. The question was, though, what did she want from her?

"I'll see you Saturday, then," Quinn replied, giving her a smile. "Tell Finn I said hi."

"I will," Rachel said. "I'll see you then."

She glanced at Quinn and then looked over her shoulder. Stephanie was looking at her with a mixture of interest and amusement, and Rachel rolled her eyes at her friend. The action only caused Stephanie to smirk at her, and she knew she was going to get the third degree the next day.

When she turned forward again, she deliberately avoided looking at Quinn as she walked toward the sidewalk. She couldn't believe she'd agreed to coffee with Quinn, but it was too late to take it back now. If she turned around and said she'd changed her mind, it would only make Quinn think she still had an effect on her, and that was the last thing she wanted. So, she was just going to have to go there on Saturday and try to remain civil. And hopefully she would be more successful at it than the last time.

* * *

"You'll never guess who I ran into today," Rachel said, trying to keep her voice casual as she pulled back the covers.

"What?" Finn asked from the bathroom.

"I said you'll never guess who I ran into today," Rachel said a little louder while still trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"Who?" Finn asked, appearing in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Quinn," Rachel replied.

Finn frowned and said, "You ran into Quinn? Here?"

"Yes," Rachel replied. "I guess you didn't know she lives in New York."

"Seriously?" Finn asked.

"I was surprised, too," Rachel replied. "Santana mentioned it when we were at the reunion. Apparently Quinn has lived here for some time."

"No, I didn't know that," Finn said, shaking his head. "That's kinda weird, isn't it? What's she doing here?"

"Well, I assume she attended college here," Rachel replied with a slight shrug. "Otherwise, I don't really know. From the sound of it, she hasn't really kept up with many people since high school ended. And it wasn't as if Quinn and I were ever really best friends."

"Did she see the show?" Finn asked.

"Yes, she's watched it," Rachel answered, leaving out the fact that Quinn had actually watched it before that night.

"That's cool," Finn said with a nod. "So you two talked?"

"A little," Rachel replied. "She was waiting outside after I signed a few autographs. She actually invited me for coffee tomorrow, but I told her we already have plans."

"So, you're not gonna go?" Finn asked.

"I told her we could meet for coffee before my matinee show on Saturday," Rachel replied.

It still hadn't fully sunk in that she was going to see Quinn on Saturday. She'd waited to tell Finn until they were going to bed because she was nervous about it. And she didn't even know why she was nervous about telling Finn; it isn't as if he was going to think anything of it. As far as he knew, she and Quinn's relationship had only ever been acquaintances at best.

Part of her couldn't believe she'd agreed to it, but the other part of her thought it could be for the best. Maybe if she could get a few things off her chest it wouldn't be on her mind so much. On the other hand, she may just get even angrier over everything, which was the last thing she wanted. She just hoped it ended up being a cathartic experience rather than the complete disaster that it was likely to end up being.

"Why Saturday?" Finn asked, walking back into the bathroom. "Why didn't you just go on Friday?"

"I thought it would be better since I'm already going to be there," Rachel replied.

Truthfully, she wanted the time to mentally prepare herself. To make sure she was calm when she met Quinn, so she would be less likely to lash out like she had the last time.

"Maybe you two can finally be friends," Finn said, walking to the doorway again.

"What?" Rachel asked even though she heard him perfectly.

"It's just, you know, you two were never really friends or anything, and maybe you can finally be friends," Finn said, shrugging. "I know how you always wanted to be popular in high school, and Quinn was popular. You used to want to be friends with her, right?"

"I don't think that really applies anymore," Rachel replied. "High school was a long time ago, and being friends with the most popular girl in school isn't exactly a priority anymore."

"I know, but still," Finn said.

"I very much doubt Quinn and I are ever going to be friends," Rachel stated.

"Why not?" Finn asked. "Even if you weren't friends, you've known each other for a long time, and she lives in the city."

"We're just two different people," Rachel said with a slight shake of her head.

"You guys might have more in common than you think," Finn replied.

"I doubt it," Rachel said. "But even if we do, it doesn't mean we're going to be friends."

"Aren't you the one always telling me to keep an open mind?" Finn asked.

"I'm getting really tired," Rachel said, ignoring Finn's question, and sliding into the bed. "What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?"

"Umm, like, one," Finn answered. "I'm only working a half shift tomorrow."

Rachel nodded and double-checked that her alarm was set. "Are you going to be much longer?"

"I just need to brush my teeth," Finn replied.

As Rachel laid her head on her pillow, she listened to Finn's movements in the bathroom. She didn't know why Finn was eager for her and Quinn to become friends, but she really hoped he didn't push the issue. The last thing she needed was for her fiancé to try to push her toward Quinn in any way.


	16. Coffee

**Chapter 16 – Coffee**

"Get off of there," Rachel mumbled, scrubbing at the spot on the counter that she didn't remember ever being there before.

"What?" Finn asked.

"Nothing," Rachel replied. "Sorry. I was talking to myself."

Rachel frowned at the spot, which didn't seem as if it was going to come off no matter how hard she scrubbed at it. Regardless, she sprayed some more of the disinfectant on it in hopes that if it sat on it long enough that the stain would disappear, and then turned around and began wiping around the sink.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked.

"Cleaning," Rachel said, looking over her shoulder at Finn, who was sitting in the living room.

"I know that, but didn't you, like, clean the kitchen yesterday?" Finn asked.

"Yes, but it was dirty again after I made breakfast this morning," Rachel stated.

"How dirty could it've been?" Finn asked.

"Dirtier than you think," Rachel replied.

It wasn't really _that_ dirty, but it could certainly be cleaner, and she was going to make sure it was spotless. Finn had been the one to clean up after breakfast and he never quite did it to her satisfaction. Then again, Finn wasn't a neat freak like Rachel was, so she didn't expect him to get it as clean as she would.

"What are you watching?" Rachel asked after a minute or two, trying to make conversation.

"Nothing," Finn said, and she heard the sound from the television turn off.

Rachel glanced at the clock to see that it was only a little after eight. She was sure it was at least nine, and she frowned, wondering if the clock was slow, but then she looked at the time on the microwave, which confirmed that the clock was right. She figured the poor time judgment had something to do with how little she slept the night before. She had gotten up a lot earlier than normal after tossing and turning for half the night.

"You don't have to be nervous," Finn said from behind her.

"Why would I be nervous?" Rachel asked.

"Because you're meeting Quinn, and you're freaking out about it," Finn replied.

Rachel frowned to herself and said, "I'm not freaking out about anything."

"Rachel, I know you," Finn said, and Rachel turned around to see him leaning against the island. "You always clean when you're nervous about something. You did this before the reunion and before you have every audition and that time you were thinking about inviting Shelby over for the holidays."

"Be that as it may, I'm not nervous," Rachel lied.

"Look, it's okay," Finn replied. "I get it; Quinn isn't always that nice, and she definitely hasn't always been that nice to you, but she isn't that bad. Not always. She can actually be kinda cool when you get to know her."

Rachel wanted to tell Finn that he really didn't have to tell her that—she'd been the one to fall in love with Quinn, after all—but she remained silent. She knew Quinn's negative qualities, but she also knew that she had plenty of good ones. She knew it better than he did; once upon a time she knew Quinn better than anyone, or at least she thought did. Looking back, though, she couldn't help wondering if she ever really knew Quinn at all.

"And she's probably changed since high school." Finn added. "She's probably not so uptight, and it's not like she's going to throw a slushy at you or anything."

"Did you talk to her at the reunion?" Rachel wondered.

"Not much," Finn said, shrugging. "A little bit at the party, but she kinda kept to herself a lot. But I guess that's how she always was at parties. We went to one at Puck's once and she just kinda sat around the whole time. I couldn't even get her to dance or anything."

"So, she didn't say anything to you about what she's doing now?" Rachel asked, glancing over at him.

"Not really," Finn said. "Mercedes said she'd heard she was an editor or something like that. I guess that makes sense; she was always reading. Even when we were in the choir room, she'd be reading while Mr. Schue was talking. I never got how anyone could read so much."

"She did seem to enjoy her books," Rachel commented.

"I think she also said she went to school for English or literature or something like that," Finn added. "I dunno. No one really seemed all that sure what she's been doing."

"Yes, Santana said she didn't think anyone had really talked to Quinn since she left Ohio," Rachel replied.

"I wonder why she even showed up," Finn said, furrowing rise brows.

"I don't know," Rachel replied.

She really didn't know why Quinn did a lot of the things she did. She didn't know why she'd disappeared in the first place, not even keeping in contact with her two closest friends from high school, and she didn't know why she would show up at a reunion when she obviously didn't care about any of the people at it. Then again, maybe Santana was right; maybe Quinn just wanted to relive her glory days. It wouldn't be unheard of, after all; she knew it was why Finn was so eager to attend.

"Do you have much laundry?" Rachel asked, suddenly thinking about doing a load.

"Not really," Finn replied. "I just did it a couple days ago."

"Oh, right," Rachel said, remembering that he'd actually hung everything for once.

"Why don't you just watch some TV or something?" Finn suggested.

"I would, but this place is a mess," Rachel replied.

"It's not a mess," Finn argued. "Everything's clean"

"Not clean enough," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Fine, but will you at least admit that you're cleaning because you're nervous?" Finn asked.

"I would if that were the case, but it's not," Rachel lied. "I'm not nervous."

Finn sighed. "Whatever. I'm gonna go watch some TV; come over if you want."

"Maybe in a bit," Rachel said, looking over, and giving him a tight smile.

* * *

Rachel couldn't remember the last time she was so nervous. The last few times she'd seen Quinn, it'd happened without warning, so she didn't have any time to dwell on it. This time, however, she'd had far too much time to think about it, wondering what Quinn would possibly want to talk about, and thinking of the things she wanted to say.

Rachel had a soy latte between her hands, picking at the sleeve with her thumb. She was deliberately not looking at the clock, hoping the time would pass a little quicker if she didn't. She had gotten to the coffee shop much earlier than she'd intended, but she left home early because she was tired of Finn constantly looking at her as if he knew something she didn't. She wasn't going to admit that she was nervous about meeting Quinn, though; she hated even admitting it to herself, so she wasn't about it say it aloud.

"You're here."

Rachel jumped and looked up at Quinn, who was standing in front of her. She hadn't even noticed Quin walk in, but that probably had something to do with the fact that she had been staring very intently at her latte.

"Why wouldn't I be here?" Rachel asked once she was over the surprise.

Quinn shrugged. "I just didn't know if you would come. And you don't exactly have my number to let me know if you'd changed your mind."

"Well, I'm here," Rachel stated.

"I'm going to get something to drink and then I'll be right back," Quinn said.

Rachel nodded and watched Quinn for a moment before looking back down at her drink. She wasn't sure why Quinn was so surprised that she was there; she wasn't exactly one to back down from anything, which could sometimes be a detriment—it had certainly not endeared her to her high school classmates—but considering her choice of profession, it was a good trait to have.

"Sorry it took me so long," Quinn said, pulling the seat out from across Rachel. "The line was kind of long."

"That's alright," Rachel replied, glancing over at Quinn as she sat down. "So, we're here; what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Right to the point, huh?" Quinn said, giving her a slight smile.

"Well, we're not exactly friends, so why not get straight to the point?" Rachel replied. "I don't know about you, but I would rather not make pointless small talk."

Quinn's eyebrows rose. "Okay."

"So, are you going to tell me what you wanted to discuss?" Rachel asked.

"I just thought we could—catch up," Quinn said, hesitating a bit.

"You want to catch up?" Rachel asked

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "It's been a while since we talked."

Rachel scoffed and shook her head as she looked down at her coffee. She had no idea why Quinn would ever think she would want to catch up. None of their interactions at the reunion or since then had indicated anything other than her displeasure with having to see Quinn again. She had done her best to remain civil—not that she'd always succeeded—but she certainly hadn't pretended to be happy to be talking with Quinn.

"I should go," Rachel announced.

"Wait," Quinn said, reaching out, but Rachel moved her hand before Quinn could grab it.

"Why?" Rachel asked, picking up her bag from under the table. "We have no reason to catch up. Catching up is something old friends do, and we've never been friends."

"You don't think we were ever friends?" Quinn asked.

"No, I don't," Rachel replied. "Which is why you have no right to try to come back into my life. Especially not now."

"Rachel—"

"What?" Rachel asked. "You broke my heart and ignored me for a year and a half, and now you want to talk to me? I'm engaged to Finn. I'm happy with him."

"Are you?" Quinn asked.

Rachel's mouth opened and closed several times before she said, "What?"

"Are you happy with Finn?" Quinn asked.

"Of course I am!" Rachel replied. "He's been there for me and supported me and he's loved me when no one else did."

"I'm not saying he doesn't love you," Quinn said, shaking her head. "I'm asking if you're really happy with him."

"How can you ask me that?" Rachel asked. "Of course I'm happy with Finn; we're getting married next year."

"Okay," Quinn replied.

"Don't say 'okay' like that," Rachel demanded.

"Like what?" Quinn asked.

"Like you don't believe me," Rachel replied. "I love Finn."

"I didn't say you don't," Quinn said.

"Then what are you saying?" Rachel asked.

"Who says I'm saying anything?" Quinn asked back.

Rachel huffed. She knew meeting Quinn was going to be a bad idea and that she should have listened to her instincts and said no when Quinn brought it up. She'd told herself that no good could come from talking with Quinn, and she was right. She hoped it could provide some closure, but she was only kidding herself.

"Goodbye, Quinn," Rachel said, standing up.

"I'm sorry," Quinn replied.

"It's too late for your apology," Rachel said, shaking her head as she shouldered her bag.

"Rachel, I'm not trying to—I just thought we could talk, okay?" Quinn replied. "I'm not trying to come between you and Finn. If you're happy with him then great."

"It is great," Rachel stated. "I'm marrying one of my best friends, and I couldn't be happier."

"Then what's wrong with us talking?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow at Rachel.

"Because—it would just be a bad idea," Rachel replied.

"Well, then, goodbye," Quinn said, looking up at her.

"Goodbye," Rachel replied.

She was slightly thrown that Quinn had relented so easily, but what else did she really expect? When she broke up with the other woman, Quinn had walked away without looking back, so it shouldn't be surprising that she would end the conversation the way she did. And this time, Rachel was the one who walked to the door without looking back.

* * *

Rachel picked up her phone, stared at the contacts, and then threw it down on the chair for at least the third time. She wanted to call Kurt since he was her best friend and usually the one she vented to in these situations, but she knew he would just jump to conclusions if she talked to him. And she really didn't want to hear him talk about her still secretly having feelings for Quinn.

The way she saw it, her anger at Quinn was completely justified and it didn't mean she was still in love with her. She could begrudgingly admit that she was still attracted to Quinn. After all, who wouldn't be? Quinn was and would always be the most beautiful woman she'd ever met. She couldn't imagine anyone who was attracted to women even a little bit not being attracted to Quinn Fabray. But just because she still found her physically appealing, it didn't mean she still loved her.

How could she still love her when she hated her so much?

"Okay, if you pick that thing up one more time, I'm going to take it away from you."

Rachel huffed and withdrew her hand, which was reaching out for her phone again. She called Kurt about everything, and she hated that she couldn't call him about this. Well, she could, but she would also never hear the end of it. Kurt rarely ever let things go, and this was definitely not one of those things that he would drop. Despite that, she still couldn't stop thinking about calling him and hoping he would just listen to her without putting in his two cents.

"So, who are you not calling even though you obviously want to call them?" Stephanie asked.

"Kurt," Rachel admitted.

"And why the burning need to call Kurt?" Stephanie asked. "And why aren't you doing it?"

Rachel sighed and rolled her shoulders before saying, "I had coffee with Quinn today."

"And you want to talk to someone about it?" Stephanie said knowingly. "So talk."

"I don't know what to talk about," Rachel replied.

"Talk to me about whatever you would talk to Kurt about," Stephanie said, throwing her hands up.

"Fine," Rachel replied, clasping her hands together. "Quinn asked me to coffee the other evening because she wanted to talk. To catch up, I guess. We didn't talk for long, though."

"Why not?" Stephanie asked.

"Because every time I see her, I get angrier," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I think about what we had and how she just—" Rachel sighed. "Things weren't perfect, but I loved her so much. She was everything to me, and when I see her, I think about what happened, and it's difficult to keep my emotions in check."

"I thought _you_ were the one who broke up with _her_," Stephanie said.

"I was," Rachel replied. "There's only so much you can take when you feel like you're not a priority in someone's life. I know she was afraid, but she wouldn't budge at all. We couldn't even pretend to be friends with each other. She eventually stopped insulting me quite so badly when we were in front of other people, but that was really as far as she relented."

Rachel ran her hand through her hair as she sat down. "I know I broke up with her and I know I acted like it was because I wanted to go to prom, but I think I was just hoping she would do something, anything, to let me know that—that she cared, I guess. That I mattered and that she was willing to concede just a little. I just wanted her to allow me to tell my fathers or Kurt or even my therapist."

"You couldn't tell your therapist?" Stephanie asked.

"She didn't want me to tell anyone," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I eventually stopped going because what's the point in therapy when you can't even discuss the things that are bothering you the most? I just couldn't live like that any longer. I never even planned on breaking up with her. It just came out. But then she walked away without fighting for me, for us, and I learned what it was like to have my heart broken. And that's why I'm angry at her; I'm angry that I did everything. That I was the one who had to give up so much and she wasn't even willing to do one thing for me. I'm angry that she didn't love me enough when she meant everything to me."

"Have you ever asked yourself why that still matters to you after all this time?" Stephanie asked.

"I don't want to," Rachel said after a moment.

"Do you want my advice?" Stephanie asked.

"No." Rachel sighed. "Yes."

"Take a step back," Stephanie stated. "Take a step back and clear your head. Figure out what you want before everyone, including you, gets hurt. It's okay if you change your mind."

"Change my mind about what?" Rachel asked.

"About whatever you want to change your mind about," Stephanie replied. "Maybe you won't, but maybe you will. I'm just saying you should stop for a moment and actually look at your life."

"I like my life, thank you," Rachel said.

"Then you should be perfectly fine with taking my advice," Stephanie replied. "Because nothing would change, right?"

"You sound like Kurt," Rachel said, crossing her arms over her chest, and looking away.

"Well, then, your friend is a wise man," Stephanie replied.

"My friend is an annoying man," Rachel joked.

"Annoying doesn't mean wrong," Stephanie replied, raising her eyebrows.

"Maybe not, but—"

"But you're going to think about it, right?" Stephanie interrupted. "Great. I'm glad I could be of service."

Rachel rolled her eyes when Stephanie smirked at her. "I should never have said anything."

"Maybe not, but you did, and there's no taking it back now," Stephanie replied. "So take my advice, or at least tell me you'll think about taking my advice."

"Fine," Rachel sighed, "I'll think about it."

* * *

"Do you know where I put my shirt?" Finn asked, walking into the living room, and moving some of the couch cushions around.

"I haven't seen it," Rachel answered, looking over her shoulder.

"Maybe I put it on the dresser," Finn said before walking back into the bedroom. "I know I had it earlier."

Rachel glanced around to see if Finn had put his work shirt on the kitchen island, but she didn't see it anywhere. It was no telling where he'd put it, though. He had a bad habit of setting things down and then not remembering where he'd put them. She'd once had a conversation with his mom about it when Carole had asked if he did the same thing there, so she knew it was a habit he'd had way before they had ever moved in together.

"So, what're you doing tonight?" Finn hollered.

"I don't know," Rachel said, keeping her voice down as to not risk straining her voice. "I think I'll probably stay in for the evening."

"It sucks that I have to work today," Finn remarked, walking out of the bedroom as he put his shirt on.

"I see you found it," Rachel said, nodding toward the garment.

"Yeah, it was on the back of the toilet," Finn replied.

"Well, I'm glad you found it," Rachel said. "After all, if you don't leave soon, you're going to be late."

"Yeah, but they don't really care if you're a few minutes late," Finn replied. "You really only get in trouble if you're more than ten minutes late."

"Be that as it may, you don't really want to get in bad habits," Rachel commented. "I mean, you've talked about hopefully moving up in the company, and they're going to look for someone dependable, right?"

"I'm not gonna be late," Finn said, giving her a crooked smile. "I promise. I'm actually one of the few people who are almost always there on time."

"Even the managers?" Rachel asked, frowning.

"Especially the managers," Finn replied.

"Well, that's no way to run a proper business," Rachel remarked.

"Hey, what are we doing for dinner today?" Finn asked.

"I haven't really thought about it," Rachel replied. "I suppose I could fix dinner if you would like."

"You want me to stop by that Greek place on the way home?" Finn asked.

"You hate Greek food," Rachel said, a little surprised at the offer.

"Yeah, but you like it and you haven't really ate there in a while," Finn said, shrugging. "Besides, I can always grab a pizza or something."

"I would love dinner from the Greek restaurant," Rachel replied with a smile.

"Okay, I'll pick it up on the way home," Finn said, smiling back. "Okay, I gotta go or I'm gonna be late."

"Have a good day," Rachel replied as Finn walked around the island and kissed her.

"I'll see you at, like, eight," Finn said.

Finn kissed her again and then grabbed his lunch from the fridge before heading toward the front door. She watched him until the door was closed behind him, and then turned back around to put the finishing touches on her salad. It was a little earlier than when she usually ate, but she had gotten up unusually early, so she figured it wasn't entirely inappropriate. Plus, it wasn't like it was the only thing that was a little unusual that day.

Not only did she have no plans despite the fact that it was her day off, but she was still in her pajamas. It was normally unheard of for her since she usually dressed for the day right after showering, but she felt like lazing around, and pajamas were slightly more conducive to a day of leisure.

As she picked up her salad and began walking into the living room, she heard her phone buzzing on the table. She rushed over and glanced at the screen, making sure that it wasn't Finn, but then she saw Kurt's name and put the phone back down. She hadn't talked to her friend in a few days and she wasn't eager to do it now. She knew coffee with Quinn would inevitably come up, and she really didn't want a repeat of her conversation with Stephanie. And she didn't like to admit it, but that conversation had been dominating her thoughts since she'd had it.

Part of her wished she hadn't talk to Stephanie at all, but the other part of her knew it had been a conversation that she needed to happen. It wasn't really anything that Kurt hadn't already said to her, but it was different coming from Stephanie. While they were friends, she wasn't someone so invested in her life. She wasn't related to Finn, she hadn't gone to high school with them, and she had nothing to lose. In short, she was an objective third party.

And Rachel couldn't believe it, but she was actually contemplating Stephanie's suggestion. She was actually thinking about taking a step back from her life to get some perspective on everything. But the thought of doing that scared her. What if she told Finn that she needed to take a break and he wasn't there when she realized she was being stupid? The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Finn just because her friends were causing doubts to creep in.

On the other hand, as much as she didn't want things with Finn to change, she knew she couldn't go on the way she was. She knew she shouldn't still be so angry with Quinn after all these years, but she also didn't know how to let go of that anger. She didn't even really know if Stephanie's suggestion was the solution to her problems, but it was something she was contemplating, nevertheless.

She just hoped Finn would understand if she ultimately decided that a small break was the best thing for them. And she _really_ hoped he would understand without her having to explain why.


	17. The Day That I Crashed and Burned

**One quick thing before this chapter. If you don't like this story, no one is forcing you to read it. I'm not here to make everyone happy because that's impossible, and I'm definitely not changing the story to just stop some people from complaining. I'm going to write the story I want to write. And I'm not talking about constructive criticism; I'm talking about the same people complaining every single chapter. That being said, I would like to give a huge thanks to the people who have remained civil and patient.**

* * *

**Chapter 17 – The Day That I Crashed and Burned**

Rachel sighed to herself as she pressed her lips together, looking into the mirror. She had noticeable bags under her eyes, which seemed to be a regular occurrence as of late. She couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten a full night's sleep or felt refreshed when she awoke in the morning. Not only had she been having a difficult time falling asleep, but she usually woke multiple times during the night, often from dreams that she didn't want to be having.

But the dreams and the thoughts keeping her up at night didn't appear to be going away. She wished they would. She wished more than anything that she could go back to her life and pretend that everything that had happened since May was one giant, terrible dream. That she could push all her thoughts aside and go back to the life she had been content with. But she couldn't. As much as she wanted to, she just couldn't seem to do it.

"Rach, have you seen my work shoes?"

Rachel jumped slightly as she was pulled out of her thoughts. "I put them next to the door."

"I looked there," Finn called out.

"I can assure you they're there," Rachel called back.

"Never mind," Finn said. "I found them."

Rachel looked down as she put the cap back on her lipstick. She wanted to ask Finn if he found them exactly where she said they would be, but she remained quiet. She already knew the answer and she didn't want to get more exasperated with him. It wasn't his fault that she hadn't been sleeping well, and she didn't want to take it out on him. He certainly didn't deserve it, and she wasn't going to be that kind of person.

"Hey, your phone's ringing!" Finn said.

"Let it go to voicemail," Rachel instructed.

"It's your dads," Finn said, appearing at the door with her phone in his hand.

"Oh," Rachel said, standing up. "Thank you."

The phone stopped ringing, but three seconds later, it started again. With a deep breath, she accepted the call with a, "Hello."

"Hi, sweetie," Leroy said.

"Hello, Daddy," Rachel greeted, a small smile appearing on her face. "Shouldn't you be at work right now?"

"I took a half day," Leroy said.

"Why?" Rachel asked, frowning. "Is everything okay? You're not sick, are you? And Dad—is Dad okay."

"Everything and everyone is fine," Leroy replied with a light chuckle. "You father and I went to a show last night and we got home late. That's all."

"Oh," Rachel said as she sat down on the edge of her bed. "You had me worried for a moment." She paused for a moment. "So, what show did you see?"

"Les Mis," Leroy answered.

"Again?" Rachel asked with a smile. "How many times does that make now? Five?"

"Seven, but who's counting?" Leroy said with a laugh.

"How was it?" Rachel wondered.

"Wonderful as always," Leroy replied. "Anyway, that wasn't why I was calling."

"Oh?" Rachel said. "Why are you calling?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," Leroy replied. "I'd be lying if I said your father and I haven't been a little worried about you lately."

"Worried?" Rachel asked. "Why would you be worried about me?"

She hoped she sounded surprised and curious, but she knew exactly why her fathers were worried about her. She hadn't really been herself lately and they had obviously picked up on it.

"Your father and I feel like you've been distant lately, which isn't like you," Leroy replied. "The only other time I remember you being like this was during that time in high school."

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. It wasn't the first time they'd referred to her dark period during high school that they still knew nothing about. She knew how worried they had been at the time, even sending her to a therapist for a while, and how relieved they were when she finally came around again.

"So, I just wanted to check in with you and make sure things are alright," Leroy continued. "Because if it's not, you know you can talk to me, honey."

"Everything is fine, Daddy," Rachel said. "There's nothing for you or Dad to worry about."

"Are you sure?" Leroy asked. "It's a father's job to worry about his daughter, you know?"

"I know, but I assure you I'm fine," Rachel replied. "I haven't been sleeping very well, so maybe that's why you feel as if I've been distant, but there's certainly no need for you to worry about that."

"You're sure?" Leroy asked.

"I'm sure," Rachel lied, looking toward the open bedroom door, and watching Finn as he walked across the living room.

* * *

"Are your dads okay?" Finn asked when Rachel walked into the living room.

"Yes, they're great," Rachel replied. "He was just telling me about seeing Les Mis again last night and the dinner party they're going to throw this weekend. They're having it catered, and he's very excited about it."

Finn nodded and let out a slight grunt of acknowledgement as he chewed a large mouth of cereal. When he finally swallowed it, he took a drink of orange juice, and then asked, "What're they having it for?"

Rachel shrugged. "Nothing that I'm aware of. You know my fathers, though; they love entertaining even if there's no special occasion."

"They do seem to like it a lot," Finn replied.

"Anyway, what time are you going to be home?" Rachel asked.

"I dunno," Finn replied.

"Well, what time are you off work?" Rachel asked.

"Five, but Joey has an extra ticket to the game tonight, and I told him I'd go with him," Finn replied.

"Why didn't you mention that before?" Rachel asked.

Finn shrugged. "He just told me a few days ago and I guess I forgot about it."

"Well, is there any way you can give your ticket to someone else?" Rachel asked. "I was really hoping we could have dinner together tonight."

"But we can do that anytime," Finn argued.

"I only have one night off a week, Finn," Rachel replied.

"I know, but can't we do it next week?" Finn asked.

"Finn, I would really like it if you could come home for dinner tonight," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips as she looked at him. "I understand that you want to go to the game, but I really wish you would change your mind."

She wasn't going to demand that he come home for dinner, but she had been planning on talking to him that night, and she didn't want to put it off any longer. Now that her mind was made up, she needed to talk to him before she lost her nerve. And this was the first day she'd had off since making her decision.

"But, Rach," Finn whined.

"Never mind," Rachel said with a huff. "Clearly you think going to a football game is more important."

"Actually, it's baseball," Finn replied.

"Whatever," Rachel said as she turned away from him.

"It's just dinner," Finn said, following her into the bedroom. "What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that I asked you to come home and you're not," Rachel replied.

"What is with you lately?" Finn asked. "Why're you being so weird? You keep getting angry over things for no reason. I don't get you right now."

Rachel thought it was a bit of an exaggeration to say she'd been getting angry about things. The only thing she was angry about was that Quinn had once again disrupted her life. If anything, Rachel had been getting sad over things, and she sometimes found herself crying and she wouldn't even realize she was doing it until someone pointed it out. She certainly hadn't been picking fights with Finn like he seemed to be insinuating.

She shook her head and silently walked over to the closet. As she flipped through the garments on her side of the closet, she could feel Finn's eyes on her. She didn't know if he expected an answer to his question, but he wasn't going to get one. She didn't want to say something she was going to regret, which was bound to happen when her emotions were all over the place. No, she had everything planned out and she was going to stick to that plan.

"Rachel?" Finn said.

"What, Finn?" Rachel asked as she continued to look at the clothes in her closet.

"Why are you so mad?" Finn asked.

"I'm not angry, Finn," Rachel replied. "I just don't understand why you didn't tell me you weren't going to be home tonight. You know it's the only evening we ever have together, and I had plans to make dinner. I wouldn't just make plans without running it by you first to make sure you didn't already have plans for us. I just wish you would have the same courtesy for me."

"I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal," Finn said. "It's not like I get to go to games all the time. We can't really ever afford it, and they were free tickets."

Rachel pursed her lips together to keep from saying something she was going to regret.

"Look, I shouldn't be that late," Finn continued. "Eight o'clock tops. What if we just eat then?"

"Fine," Rachel replied. "Whatever you want, Finn."

"You sure?" Finn asked. "I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm sure," Rachel said, trying to keep her voice even.

"I'll see you tonight, then," Finn said, walking over, and kissing the back of her head.

* * *

Rachel was sitting on the couch when she heard the front door open and close. She glanced at the clock, knowing it was well past eight, and saw that it was a quarter after nine. She wasn't surprised, though. She hadn't even bothered waiting on Finn to get there to eat dinner, knowing he would never be there by eight like he said.

"Hey," Finn said, sounding a little apprehensive.

"Hello," Rachel replied. "Dinner is on the table."

"I'm really sorry I'm late," Finn said. "The game went extra innings, and then the subway was crazy on the way home."

"It's fine," Rachel replied, smoothing her skirt down as she stood up. "Why don't you eat? Unless you already have."

"I'm starving, actually," Finn said. "I only ate, like, two hotdogs all evening."

As Finn walked toward their little dining table, Rachel took a deep breath. The evening already hadn't gone according to how she had rehearsed it in her head, but there was nothing she could do about that now.

"It looks really great," Finn said, sitting down in his usual seat, and then frowning slightly. "Did you already eat."

"Yes," Rachel replied. "I didn't want my dinner to get cold, which I'm sorry to say yours is."

Finn shrugged. "I don't mind."

Rachel watched him for a few minutes, letting him eat, before sitting down across from him. She opened her mouth several times, but she seemed incapable of producing words at the moment. She knew what she was about to say could possibly be the biggest mistake of her life, and even though she'd had this conversation over and over in her head for the past week, now the time was there, nothing she'd rehearsed seemed right.

"This is really awesome," Finn said through a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Can we talk?" Rachel finally asked, her voice much quieter than usual.

"About what?" Finn asked.

"I—" Rachel looked down at the tablecloth and closed her eyes for a moment, taking another deep breath. She swallowed thickly, feeling as if she had something lodged in her throat, and she already felt tears threatening to come to her eyes. She blinked them back, though, willing herself not to cry.

"Rachel?" Finn asked.

Rachel forced herself to look up into Finn's eyes. "I know you've noticed how I've been a little distant lately—a little unlike my usual self. I told you it was nothing because I didn't want you to worry and because I hoped it would pass. I _thought_ it would pass."

"What are you talking about?" Finn asked, frowning.

"Going to the reunion—it made me think about a lot of things," Rachel said. "It brought a lot of things from the past up for me, which made me think about the future. Our future."

Rachel bit her lip while Finn continued to look at her in confusion.

"I think we need to take a break," Rachel said, her voice wavering at the end.

"A break from what?" Finn asked.

"A break from each other," Rachel said. "From our relationship." Rachel paused. "I think we both need to make sure we're truly right for each other before we get married. That we're in the right place."

"Wait, you're dumping me?" Finn asked, throwing his fork down, and sitting back.

"No!" Rachel quickly said. "I'm not saying we should end our engagement. I just think we should take a little time apart."

"Are you kidding me?" Finn asked, standing up so suddenly that his chair was knocked to the floor, causing Rachel to jump. "What—is this about me going to the game tonight? You're seriously punishing me for that?"

"Of course not!" Rachel replied, standing as well. "This isn't a punishment. I wanted you to come home tonight because I needed to talk to you about this. I love you, b—"

"No!" Finn yelled. "You don't get to do this to me again!"

"Finn, I'm not—"

"We're done!" Finn abruptly said.

"Finn, please calm down," Rachel replied. "Think about what you're saying."

"Don't act like that!" Finn yelled. "Don't act like this is my choice. You're the one that wants to break up with me."

"I don't want to break up with you," Rachel replied, trying to remain calm even though her heart was pounding and she had tears in her eyes. "I just think we need a little time apart. I just need to—"

"No," Finn shook his head, "I'm done. You already broke up with me once; I'm not gonna let you be the one to decide it's over this time. This break, or whatever you want to call it, is shit and you know it." Finn threw his hands up. "I'm done with you."

"Finn!" Rachel yelled as he began walking away.

"I'm done!" Finn repeated, rounding on her, looking angrier than she had ever seen him.

Rachel stood there in shock, wiping her tears away as Finn turned and walked to the door, slamming it behind him.

* * *

Rachel didn't know how long she had been standing there, rooted to the spot, before she slowly turned and her eyes drifted around the apartment. She had never expected it to go well, but Finn had been so quick to get angry that it had shocked her. She'd expected a little disbelief, allowing her to explain herself a little better, hoping he would understand where she was coming from, but that hadn't happened.

She knew Finn sometimes had a short fuse, but it had never really been directed at her. When she broke up with him after graduation, he hadn't been happy about it, but he certainly hadn't yelled at her. She understood that he was upset, but what she didn't understand was how he could say he was done with her. She had wanted a little break to clear her head, not to end their engagement entirely, but it didn't seem like she was going to have a choice in the matter anymore. Finn would apparently rather break up with her than give her the space she needed.

Rachel wiped at her face, but more tears quickly trailed down her cheeks, taking their place. Her lip trembled as she looked toward their little dining table, thinking about what she had just done. Finn was the only person who had ever loved her, and even though things with him had never been perfect, he was all she had. He had been there when she needed him most, saving her, and she had thrown it all away. And for what?

She hated herself for second guessing her life and for still thinking about Quinn after all these years. She had been perfectly content until the reunion. She had moved past everything that had happened and she had been happy. Maybe not as happy as she had been with Quinn when things were still good, but she was a teenager then. Teenagers feel everything more strongly, especially the first time they fall in love.

As she walked toward Finn's fallen chair, she couldn't help wondering where he had gone. He had a few work friends that didn't live too far away, though, so she assumed he had probably gone to one of them to spend the night. She had never intended on either of them moving out, so she also wondered what was going to happen now. Was Finn going to move out or would he expect her to leave? Finn certainly couldn't afford the apartment on his own only working part time.

Rachel began clearing the table, feeling slightly numb as she did so, barely taking notice as her tears continued to fall. She felt like the rug had been pulled from underneath and she no longer knew what to do. Everything she had come to know and rely on had come crashing down around her, and she felt completely lost. For a long time, she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, and for the last few years, that involved marrying Finn. But over the last month, she had grown increasingly more uncertain of that.

After quickly loading the dishwasher, Rachel sniffed and wiped at her face with the back of her hand. When she turned around, she saw her phone on the island and immediately picked it up. She quickly put in her password, but as her finger hovered over her call list, she began to think twice about calling him and put her phone back onto the counter top. She knew Kurt would still be up, but she was afraid of what he would say if she told him. And calling her fathers was out of the question; she would be up half the night just explaining what had happened.

She turned to walk away, but stopped and glanced at her phone, biting her lip. She knew she had a terrible idea and she would inevitably regret it, but yet she still reached out and grabbed her phone again. This time, she didn't hesitate, quickly scrolling through her contact list, and calling the one person who could tell her what she wanted to know.

"Tina?" Rachel said. "Hi, it's Rachel. I'm sorry to be calling so late, but I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

* * *

Rachel walked down the unfamiliar hallway, glancing down at the address Tina had given her. When she looked back up, she passed by two more doors before stopping at the one labelled 5F. She didn't know what time it was—probably sometime around midnight—but she didn't care, knocking loudly on the door without hesitation.

As she stood there, though, she became a little more uncertain, wondering whether or not the door was going to open, but then she heard someone on the other side. The door opened a second later, and for a moment she and Quinn stared at each other, neither of them saying a word. Eventually, Quinn stepped to the side, opening the door wider, and Rachel took it as her invitation, marching into the apartment with determination.

"Rachel, what are you doing here?" Quinn finally asked as she closed the door.

Rachel let out a humorless laugh. "You know, I'm not entirely sure. I was standing alone in my apartment, and the next thing I know, I was calling Tina to find out where you live."

She turned toward Quinn, who looked confused. She didn't care, though; she was hurt and angry and she didn't care if Quinn thought she was crazy right now.

"Finn and I are on a break," Rachel stated. "Actually, I wanted to take a break to clear my head, but he decided he would rather end our engagement."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said with a slight shrug.

"You should be!" Rachel replied, her voice rising. "I was happy! Things weren't perfect, but I was finally happy. I found someone who loved me, and I was going to spend my life with him. You had no right to ever attempt to come back into my life in any way. You destroyed my life once and now you're doing it again!"

Even though she knew it was her fault, she couldn't help wanting to take it out on Quinn. If Quinn hadn't talked to her, if she hadn't shown up at her show, Rachel wouldn't be in this position. She would still be with Finn, happily planning their wedding like she had been before going to the reunion.

"For months, all I could think about was how you broke my heart," Rachel continued. "And every time I was beginning to move on again, there you were. Why New York? Out of all the places in the world that you could have moved, why did you move here?"

"In case you've forgotten, we talked about moving here," Quinn replied. "Not just you, but both of us."

Rachel shook her head. "I remember, but the only reason you talked about coming here is because I was. After we broke up, what reason did you have for coming here?"

Quinn opened her mouth but closed it a few seconds later, remaining silent.

"Why did you have to come to the theater?" Rachel asked. "When you saw I was in the cast, why couldn't you have just asked your date to take you someplace else? And why did you have to come back and ask me to coffee? We were never friends, Quinn, so what was the point in trying to catch up?"

"What question do you want me to answer first?" Quinn asked. "You already know why I came to the theater, and it would have been rude to ask my date to leave. I can't imagine the tickets were cheap, and it wasn't until you walked on stage that I realized you were in it."

"Fine, but what right did you have to ask me to coffee?" Rachel asked, her anger not abating.

"Because I wanted to see you," Quinn replied. "And I think you wanted to see me, too."

"That's not—what would ever make you think that?" Rachel asked with a huff.

"Because you could have said no," Quinn answered. "I may have asked you to coffee, but you didn't have to go. That was your choice. You could have told me to go to hell, but you didn't. You even could have decided not to show up, but you went."

"So, is this what you wanted?" Rachel asked. "Me to be alone and miserable again like I was in high school?!"

"Will you stop yelling at me?" Quinn said. "I get that you want to blame someone, but I didn't make you do anything, Rachel. I'm sorry you and Finn broke up even if you don't believe me, but are you even sad about it?"

"Of course I am!" Rachel replied.

"Then why do you seem more angry at me than sad about your broken engagement?" Quinn argued, stepping forward until she was just in front of Rachel.

"I'm—"

Rachel wanted to say that she wasn't, but all she was really feeling at the moment was anger. Anger that her comfortable life had been derailed.

"Why did you want to take a break, anyway?" Quinn asked.

"I told you—I wanted to clear my head," Rachel replied.

"Clear your head of what?" Quinn asked.

"Of you," Rachel replied.

Rachel stared up at Quinn, suddenly becoming aware of just how close they were standing. But rather than taking a step back, she found herself leaning forward, her lips crashing with Quinn's. Pulling away a few seconds later, she looked at Quinn in shock, touching her fingers to her lips. She hadn't kissed Quinn in over six years, but yet it somehow still felt familiar and, like always, left her wanting more.

Without thinking too hard about what she was doing, Rachel brought their lips together again. This time, she didn't pull away, though, and neither did Quinn, who wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, pulling their bodies together.

* * *

**Now that I'm back from my hiatus, I should be posting every single week rather than posting two weeks in a row and then taking a week off. Unless anything comes up, of course. **


	18. Guilty

**I would like to thank you all for all the positive comments on the last chapter. Part of me dreaded having to start working on and posting this story again, so it was great to see.**

**Chapter 18 – Guilty**

Rachel couldn't remember falling asleep, but when she opened her eyes, the morning sun was shining through the window. Quinn was stirring behind her, and Rachel turned to look at the clock, pulling the sheet over her chest as she did so. It was well past the time she usually got up, but she had been up much later than usual, as well. She was unsure what time she had actually fallen asleep; it had been after two the last time she had noticed the clock, out of breath as Quinn's lips glided over her stomach. The evening had been one giant blur, though, and she seemed to have lost all sense of time.

She turned and threw her legs over the side of the bed, running her hand through her messy hair. She felt dazed, like she couldn't quite comprehend where she was or what she had done. Sleeping with Quinn certainly wasn't what she had come there for, and she still felt anger towards her whether it was justified or not. But yet she _had_ slept with Quinn and she had been the one to initiate it.

Rachel wasn't entirely sure what had come over her. She had always felt this pull toward Quinn, and she had felt it as she stood in her apartment. Even after everything that had happened, she had never stopped being attracted to the other woman. She still managed to take her breath as she always had. She hated that about herself, but Quinn was—and would always be—the most beautiful person she had ever seen.

Quinn groaned behind her and she felt the bed shift. Rachel ignored it, however, and stood up, taking the sheet with her to keep herself covered. She looked around the floor, throwing Quinn's shirt to the side, and grabbing her bra from underneath it. When she finally found her underwear near the door, she slipped them on, and then dropped the sheet to put her bra on, keeping her back turned to Quinn as she did so. When she finally turned around, Quinn was watching her, her head propped up on her arm.

"You're leaving," Quinn said.

"Yes," Rachel replied even though it had sounded more like a statement than a question.

Quinn sighed and looked over her shoulder at the clock before looking back at Rachel. "You should stay. I could make breakfast. Or we could go out since I don't exactly have anything for vegans."

"I'm a vegetarian now, actually," Rachel found herself saying. "But it doesn't matter. I need to go home."

"Rachel—"

"Last night was a mistake," Rachel said, interrupting Quinn. "We both know. It shouldn't have happened."

"Who says it's a mistake?" Quinn asked as Rachel turned and began looking for her skirt and top.

"I do," Rachel replied.

All she could think about was Finn and how he would feel if he knew what she had done. Yes, they were broken up, but that didn't mean it would hurt him any less. And not only did she feel guilty, but everything also just felt wrong. Sleeping with someone, sharing that intimate moment with another person, had always made her feel closer to them. She had always felt that with Finn, just a she had when she and Quinn were together. But for the first time after spending the night with someone, she woke up feeling empty.

"Rachel—"

"Have you seen the rest of my clothing?" Rachel asked, interrupting Quinn once again.

"Your shirt may be in the living room," Quinn answered.

Without saying anything, Rachel walked into the other room and found her shirt lying halfway between the front door and Quinn's bedroom. She carried it back into the bedroom and stood there, trying to remember where Quinn had finally taken her skirt off. She had been completely bare-chested by then and she thought she had been standing at the end of the bed when Quinn had finally slipped her hand in the waistband, causing Rachel to bite her lip at the look in Quinn's eyes.

"You don't have to run, you know?" Quinn said, her eyes following Rachel with every step she took.

"I'm not running," Rachel replied, kneeling down, and feeling underneath Quinn's bed.

"Then stay," Quinn said.

"I told you, I need to go home," Rachel replied, standing up, her skirt clenched in her hand. "Finn may be there, and I need to talk to him."

Quinn sighed as she ran her hand through her hair and laid back on her pillow.

"Like I said, this was a mistake," Rachel repeated, slipping her skirt on and zipping it up before pulling her shirt over her head.

"Rachel, wait," Quinn said, sitting up.

"Goodbye, Quinn." Rachel said, ignoring Quinn, and walking out of the bedroom.

As she walked toward the front door, she wiped away the tears that had come to her eyes. She was surprised she had made it that long without crying, but she didn't want Quinn to see her breakdown. Her anger was beginning to dissipate, giving way to something else, but her emotions were all over the place, so she didn't really know what she was feeling at the moment. Just like she didn't know if she was relieved or hurt that Quinn wasn't following her.

When she finally walked out of Quinn's apartment and closed the door behind her, she buried her face in her hands, no longer able to stop her tears from falling. As she openly began crying, her whole body started to shake, and she leaned against the hallway wall, slowly sliding down it to the floor.

* * *

Rachel's tears were gone by the time she finally walked into her own apartment sometime after nine. Relieved to be home, she immediately began walking toward her bedroom, ready to take a shower. As ridiculous as she knew it was, she felt like a shower would somehow wash the past day away. Like it would somehow make everything a little better.

When she walked into the bedroom, she stopped and looked around. The bed was still made, which meant Finn hadn't come home to sleep. Not that she'd expected him to; she wondered if he would even come home at all.

She walked into the bathroom and over to the tub, turning the water on, and pulling the shower curtain over. She checked the temperature a few times and then turned around, catching her reflection in the full length that hung on the wall. Slowly, she walked over to it and sighed at what she saw. She looked terrible; her mascara was all over the place, her eyes were red, and her face was all blotchy from all the crying she had done.

Turning, she quickly pulled off her clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run over her. By the time she finally stepped out of the shower, her skin was red, but she still didn't feel any better than when she went in. If anything, she felt like crying again as she thought about the past day and how everything had gotten so messed up.

After drying herself off and wrapping the towel around her, Rachel walked into the bedroom, heading over to the closet for a fresh pair of clothes. Just as she opened the door, though, she heard a shuffling sound and then a voice that asked, "Where were you?"

Rachel jumped at the sound of Finn's voice, letting out a little yelp as she turned to find him sitting at the end of the bed. "God, Finn, you scared me!"

"Where were you?" Finn asked again.

"What?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows.

"You didn't stay here last night," Finn said. "I was at the table when you came in; you didn't see me. Where were you?"

"I was at a-a friend's," Rachel replied.

While Quinn wasn't really a friend, she didn't know what else to refer to her as. An old lover? The person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with before she met Finn?

"Is that really it?" Finn asked, shaking his head. "There's someone else, isn't there? How long have you been cheating on me?"

"I haven't been cheating on you, Finn," Rachel quickly said.

"You're lying to me," Finn said, standing up from the bed.

"I'm not lying to you," Rachel replied, standing her ground as Finn began pacing around. "I've never so much as even kissed another person while we were together."

"Then where were you?" Finn asked, stopping abruptly, and turning to face her.

"I told you, I was with a friend," Rachel replied. "I went over after you left and ended up falling asleep. I hadn't intended on spending the night."

"What friend?" Finn demanded to know.

Rachel opened her mouth but closed it, swallowing thickly as she looked away. She didn't want to lie to him, but she also didn't know how she would explain being at Quinn's. If she had gone anywhere for comfort, it should have been Stephanie's since she was one of the few friends she had in the city.

"I was at Quinn's," Rachel finally admitted.

"Quinn?" Finn asked.

"Yes, Quinn," Rachel replied.

"Why would you go to her place when you hate her?" Finn asked. "Who were you really with?"

"I'm telling you the truth, Finn, whether you believe me or not," Rachel replied.

"No, you're not! Just tell me the truth!" Finn said, sounding more pleading than angry. "You break up with me and then you go over to Quinn's? I don't believe you."

"I didn't break up with you," Rachel replied. "I simply wanted a break, so I could—so we _both_ could make sure we're doing the right thing. I only want to be married once, Finn. I thought some time apart would let us know if we're really meant to be together. That didn't mean I wanted to end our engagement. You were the one who decided to do that."

"Do you think I'm gonna wait around for you to dump me again?" Finn asked, shaking his head.

"Couples take breaks," Rachel stated. "That doesn't mean they don't love each other. It just means they may need to work on themselves for a little. In fact, many relationships are stronger afterward. I just wanted a break, not a breakup."

"Too bad," Finn replied. "What's the difference, anyway?" Finn shook his head. "You know? I don't even know who you are anymore. You've been weird for months now, and now I know you've probably been screwing around behind my back. I can't believe you would do this to me!"

Rachel closed her eyes and then looked down with a sad sigh. She wished Finn would listen to what she was actually saying rather than just assuming the worst. She always knew it was going to be hard for him—it was hard for her, too—but she had hoped he would at least be a little more understanding.

"Are you even going to tell me the truth?" Finn asked.

"I already have," Rachel replied, trying to keep herself from crying out of frustration. "You're right about one thing, though. I haven't really been myself lately, and that's why I did this. I thought it would be best if I took some time to clear my head, so we could try to get back to where we were before the reunion. I wasn't cheating on you, Finn." Rachel shook her head. "All I was asking for was a little time. Are you really not willing to give it to me?"

"No, I'm not," Finn said. "You either want to be with me or you don't, and you obviously don't."

Rachel briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wiping at the single tear that had fallen down her cheek as Finn turned and walked out of the bedroom, leaving her standing there alone.

* * *

The lights were on when Rachel walked into the apartment, and she looked toward the living room as she set her bag down on the table. There was a box sitting on the coffee table and she could hear a scraping sound coming from the bedroom. She was hesitant to walk further into the apartment; she hadn't really expected Finn to be home. Or maybe she had just hoped that he wouldn't be there.

After hesitating a few moments, Rachel slowly began walking again until she was just outside the bedroom. Finn was standing at the bed where several more boxes were sitting. His back was to her, so she couldn't see what he was doing, but she didn't need to. She knew by the boxes that he was packing his things. They hadn't discussed it—she hadn't even spoken to him since he left her in the bedroom, walking out of the apartment moments later—but she wasn't entirely surprised.

"You're leaving?" Rachel asked as she walked toward the door frame, though it sounded more like a statement than a question.

Finn made a grunt of acknowledgement but didn't say anything. Rachel stepped into the bedroom and watched Finn as he walked toward the closet, grabbing an armful of clothes, and walking back to the bed, where he dumped them in a heap. He hastily folded them, rolling them more into a ball than actually folding them, and then shoved them into the suitcase at the head of the bed.

She thought about asking if he needed any help folding the clothes, but she remained standing where she was with her mouth shut. She doubted he would accept her help anyway, and she knew it would probably only making things even worse than they already were. If that was even possible.

"Wh—where are you going?" Rachel quietly asked.

"Home," Finn replied, shoving a t-shirt extra roughly into his luggage. "Lima."

"Are you going to stay with your parents or one of your friends?" Rachel wondered.

"Does it matter?" Finn asked.

"I was just curious," Rachel said with a slight shrug.

"Puck said I can crash with him for a while," Finn answered after a beat.

Rachel nodded. "Are you going to work at the garage?"

Finn didn't answer, but she knew it was likely that he would; he usually did anytime he went back to their hometown. While he didn't particularly like working at the garage, it was the family business, and he was actually pretty good at fixing cars. Rachel had encouraged him to search for employment in the field, but he had been reluctant to do it, which she never understood. She doubted working as a mechanic could be any worse than working in a store.

"When are you leaving?" Rachel asked.

"Tonight," Finn answered.

"Tonight?" Rachel asked. "But it's nearly eleven. Do you really think leaving tonight is the best idea? Wouldn't it be better to wait until morning?"

"I don't want to wait 'til morning," Finn replied. "I don't want to stay in this stupid city any longer. I hate New York."

Rachel frowned. She knew Finn wasn't overly fond of New York, but she thought it was a bit extreme for him to say he hated it. She had always known he would prefer to live elsewhere, but he knew before they began dating that she had always dreamed of moving there. That her dreams had always been to star on a Broadway. That New York City was the only place she had ever wanted to live.

"Are you sure you really want to go?" Rachel asked after another minute.

"Why wouldn't I?" Finn asked. "I told you, I hate it here. I've always hated it here. All the damn people and the noise and the stupid tourists."

"I know, but—"

"But what?" Finn interrupted. "You think I'm gonna stick around here?"

"Don't you think you're making a hasty decision?" Rachel asked.

She wanted to point out that he had been doing that a lot over the past twenty-four hours. He had ended things with her without even seeming to think about it. She had been thinking about that fact a lot that day, and part of her wondered if he had been looking for a reason to end things. Then again, maybe he was just reacting out of anger; she had seen him do it before.

"I'm not gonna stay here and wait around," Finn replied. "What's the point?"

"I never wanted this break to last forever," Rachel stated, taking a few steps into the room. "I just wanted—needed—a little time. Why can't you try to understand that? You know how difficult high school was for me, and going back to Lima—being back in that town that made me realize I wasn't over some of the things that happened to me." Rachel sighed. "I didn't want those things to taint our future. I've been trying to explain this to you, but you wouldn't listen."

"It doesn't matter," Finn replied, throwing several things from his nightstand into the nearest box. "I don't care why you did it, just that you did."

"Can't you try to understand at all?" Rachel asked. "Do you think this is easy for me? I love you."

"Not enough," Finn replied.

Rachel shook her head. She had never known him to be so callous about things. He was never the most perceptive and sometimes said things without thinking, but he always cared. She didn't understand how simply asking for a little time and space could change that so drastically.

"So, you're really going tonight?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I'm really going tonight," Finn said, dropping one of the now full boxes onto the floor.

"How are you going to get all this to Ohio?" Rachel wondered, looking around.

"I rented a truck," Finn answered. "I'll be gone in a few hours.

Rachel nodded as she looked down, pulling her engagement ring off with a sniff. "Well, then, I guess you should have this back."

Rachel set the ring down on top of the dresser, and with a glance toward Finn, she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

* * *

Rachel ran her hand through her hair as she sat down on the couch, her hand clutching her phone. It was late—nearly one in the morning—and she had no idea if Kurt would be up or fast asleep, but she needed to talk to someone. Finn was usually the person she talked to at the end of a rough day, but that was obviously no longer an option. He had just left, barely looking back as he walked out of the apartment.

When she finally settled onto the couch, tucking her legs underneath her, she set her phone on her lap with a shaky sigh. The past day and a half almost didn't seem real, and she didn't even know where she was going to begin. She was a little surprised Finn hadn't called his half-brother, but she knew Kurt would have contacted her by now if he had, which meant she was going to have to be the one to explain everything that had happened. She figured it was probably for the better, though; she didn't know what Finn would tell him if he had been the one to talk to Kurt first.

She hesitated for a few minutes, wondering if she should wait until morning to call him, but in the end, she scrolled through her contacts and hit the call button. She would apologize later for calling him so late, but right now, she really needed to talk to her best friend. She had been a mess all day and she needed to get everything off her chest before she tried to go to sleep.

"Rachel?" Kurt said when he finally answered his phone. "You're calling awfully late."

"Hi, Kurt," Rachel replied.

Kurt was silent for a moment and then asked, "What's wrong?"

Rachel couldn't help letting out a laugh, though it almost sounded more like a sob. Sometimes she forgot how well her best friend knew her, and it was days like her current one that she realized how much she missed having him around.

"Rachel?" Kurt said when she didn't answer.

"It's just—it's been a very long day," Rachel said in weak voice.

"What happened?" Kurt asked.

"Finn and I," Rachel sniffed, "we broke up."

"You what?" Kurt asked. "You broke up?! How? When?"

"Last night," Rachel answered. "I told Finn I thought it would be best if we took a break for a little while. I've been struggling since going to the reunion and I hoped I would be able to clear my mind if I had a little space. I knew he wasn't going to be happy about it, but I was at least hoping he would be a little understanding."

"I take it he wasn't," Kurt said.

"No," Rachel replied. "He got angry and I was barely able to explain and he just—he said he was done with me." Rachel wiped away a tear. "He didn't want to try to understand. He didn't care."

"Be honest with me," Kurt stated. "Did you want to break up with him?"

"No!" Rachel quickly replied. "No, of course not. It's not like I wanted to do this, but I've been thinking a lot about it, and I thought it would be for the best. I-I know I haven't been myself lately and I wanted to change that. I thought if we spent a little time apart that I could become myself again."

"So, this is about Qu—"

"Don't," Rachel interrupted.

"Rachel—"

"I don't want to talk about her," Rachel said.

She wasn't about to tell Kurt what she had done. Even though Finn had been the one to end their engagement, the guilt had been eating her alive all day. She'd never intended on sleeping with Quinn, but when she'd been in that apartment with the blonde standing in front of her, it was as if all thought had gone away, and her attraction to Quinn had taken over. It wasn't something she was proud of, and she wasn't ready to hear the disappointment in Kurt's voice if he knew what she had done.

"But this is all about her, isn't it?" Kurt asked.

"No, this is about me," Rachel replied with a sigh. "You were right when you told me I haven't moved on from the past, and that's exactly what I intended to do. The last thing I wanted was to have doubts about Finn, and I thought that taking a step back for a little bit would help me figure everything out. I thought it would make us stronger in the end, not tear us apart. I thought he loved me enough to wait for me, but I guess I was wrong." She sniffed. "I suppose I should be used to that, though. It isn't the first time I've been wrong about someone loving me."

"I'm really sorry, Rachel," Kurt said.

"He left," Rachel stated. "Finn—he left. I came home today and he was packing his things. He rented a truck and is on his way back to Ohio as we speak. I imagine he'll be there tomorrow afternoon."

"I wonder why he didn't call me," Kurt said, and she could almost hear him frowning.

"Maybe he didn't want to tell you what happened," Rachel replied. "Or maybe he didn't know how to. I know he's going to spend some time at Noah's rather than going home."

"He had to know you would call me, though," Kurt said.

"Maybe he just wanted me to be the one to tell you," Rachel replied with a shrug even though Kurt couldn't see it.

Rachel ran her hand through her hair again and then laid her head back against the couch.

"I should let you get to sleep," Rachel quietly said. "I'm really sorry for calling you so late. I just didn't know who else to talk to."

"Not so fast," Kurt replied. "Do you remember the first time you and Finn broke up?"

"Yes," Rachel said. "You and I talked all night on the phone."

"Exactly," Kurt replied. "So don't you dare hang up on me right now. I'm all exfoliated, highly comfortable, and I'm all ears."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"What else are best friends for?" Kurt asked, and for the first time in a few days, Rachel found herself smiling.


	19. Lost and By Myself

**Chapter 19 – Lost and By Myself**

Rachel sniffed as she licked the ice cream off the spoon and then wiped the tear off her cheek with the back of her hand. Unfortunately, it didn't do much good; more tears soon followed, and before she knew it, tears were streaming down her cheeks, dripping off her chin and into her lap.

"This movie is so sad," Rachel said, grabbing a tissue, and covering her eyes with it.

There was a sniff next to her. "I know. Why did you choose it?"

"Because it seemed like a good idea at the time," Rachel said, glancing at the laptop screen on the cushion next to her. "I'm pausing it; I need more Kleenex."

She grabbed the remote and paused the movie, and she heard the echo of it stop on Kurt's end. When she looked at him on the screen, he was wiping his eyes and shaking his head. She was severely regretting watching Stepmom, and they weren't even near the end of the movie. When she was already sad, she had a bad habit of watching the most depressing movies she could find with her best friend, though. And since Kurt couldn't be with her in person this time, they were doing the next best thing: using an app that synchronized their streams.

"I'm going to make some popcorn!" Kurt called out as Rachel stood up and walked around the couch.

"Okay," Rachel replied.

She sighed to herself as she walked into her bedroom and grabbed the box of tissues from her nightstand. But when she picked it up, she realized it was empty from all the crying she had done while talking to Kurt the previous night. With another sigh, she walked into the bathroom and knelt down, opening the cabinet beneath the sink, and grabbing a spare roll of toilet paper.

As she stood up, she glanced into the mirror and cringed at how puffy and red her eyes were. Not that she was really surprised by it; when she wasn't at work, she had found herself crying more than she cared to admit. Even at work, she'd found it difficult to keep it together, but she prided herself on her professionalism, so she had put on her best show smile and did her best to act like everything was okay.

"Are you back yet?"

"Almost," Rachel called out as she walked from the bathroom to her bedroom. "I'm out of Kleenex, so I had to improvise."

"I'm running to the bathroom while it's popping," Kurt announced.

Rachel dabbed under her eyes with a piece of toilet paper as she walked back into the living room. Since Kurt was going to be a little bit longer, she walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water, afraid she was going to get dehydrated with all the crying she had been doing.

"Rachel?" Kurt said after a minute or so.

"I'm just getting something to drink!" Rachel called out.

"Rachel, I just got a text," Kurt said.

"From who?" Rachel asked as she walked into the living room, but she already knew the answer by the hesitancy in Kurt's voice.

"Finn," Kurt answered.

"Oh," Rachel said as she sat down. "Did he say how he is?"

She had been worried about Finn; she hadn't heard anything about him making it to Lima, and she had been afraid something had happened to him along the way. After all, he had left in the middle of the night after a long, emotional day, and she couldn't help worrying about him fall asleep at the wheel or being distracted and getting in an accident. She had sent him a text asking him to let her know if he was safe, but it had gone unanswered as had Kurt's calls to him.

"No," Kurt replied. "He just asked if I was busy tomorrow. He didn't even tell me he's here."

"He probably assumes you already know," Rachel said. "At least now we know he's alright."

"He wants to have lunch tomorrow," Kurt said, and his face appeared on the screen as he sat down on his bed.

"I hate to ask, but—"

"Can I call you tomorrow and let you know what we discuss?" Kurt said for her.

Rachel nodded and then quickly said, "You don't have to tell me everything. I just—I want to know how he's doing."

"I imagine he's doing pretty crappy," Kurt replied.

"I mean relatively speaking," Rachel said, feeling her guilt creeping back.

"I know," Kurt replied. "I can imagine this isn't going to be a pleasant lunch."

"I'm really sorry, Kurt," Rachel said with a sigh. "I don't want you to feel like you're in the middle of this."

"But I am," Kurt replied. "You're my best friend and he's my brother." Kurt paused. "And I may feel a little responsible."

"What?" Rachel asked. "How could you feel responsible?"

"If I hadn't pestered you about Quinn—"

"I can assure you, it is no way your fault," Rachel interrupted before Kurt could finish. "I couldn't remain in denial forever even if I wish I could have." Rachel sighed and laid her head back. "If it's alright with you, I'm going to start the movie again."

"Whatever you want," Kurt replied.

* * *

Rachel opened her eyes, which were immediately drawn to the empty spot next to her. Groaning, she rolled onto her back and threw her arm over her face to block out some of the light. She didn't know what time it was or what time she had finally fallen asleep, but she did know she wasn't ready to get up. She suspected she had only gotten a couple hours of sleep, though, which had been a common occurrence over the past few days.

Morning used to be her favorite time of the day, but now it was the time she dreaded most. Not just because she hadn't been sleeping well, waking up exhausted, but because she hated waking up in an empty bed. She missed the feeling of someone there beside of her, and she couldn't help being reminded of the last time it happened. It didn't feel right that Finn wasn't the last person she had woken up next to, and she immediately felt guilty every time she thought about it.

She had been doing her best not to think of Quinn and what had happened between them, but it was easier said than done. Not only did she think about it every morning, but little things throughout the day would make her think of that night. Several times a day she would seem to smell Quinn's perfume or see someone that reminded her of the blonde. But then they would turn around and Rachel would feel foolish for the way her stomach seemed to knot up before realizing it wasn't Quinn.

Quinn hadn't tried to contact her since she left her apartment two mornings ago. Not that Quinn had her phone number or knew where she lived, but it would be easy enough for her to find out. She easily could have called Tina or Mercedes or about half the other former Glee Club members. Part of her had expected Quinn to show up at the theater the previous few nights, but so far, there had been no sign of her. It was probably for the better, though; she was still rather angry and it was no telling what she would say if she saw her again.

Slowly, with a sigh, Rachel turned on her right shoulder and stared across the bedroom. She knew she needed to get up and begin her day—she had almost no food in the apartment and there was some dry cleaning that she'd needed to pick up for days—but she still didn't move. Thankfully, she didn't really need to be anywhere for hours, and she guessed she could wait another day to do food shopping. It wasn't as if she had been eating a lot anyway. She had mostly been living off junk food, which she could always get at the small market around the corner.

It took Rachel nearly an hour before she finally sat up and slowly stood up from the bed. She usually went to the bathroom and showered first thing, but this time, she walked over to her phone where it was charging on the dresser to see if anyone had tried calling her. She kept hoping Finn would try to contact her even though she knew it was foolish. Finn wasn't going to call her; he could be quite stubborn when he was angry, and she knew he wasn't going to get over that anger anytime soon.

She did have a few text messages from Kurt, but they were just checking to make sure she was okay. After watching Stepmom, they had talked for another hour or two, and Rachel had cried during half the conversation. She still hadn't told him about Quinn. About how the guilt was part of the reason why she had been so emotional. She didn't like lying to her best friend—not after finally telling him everything—but she knew it would put him in an even more awkward situation than he was already in. Not to mention the fact that she didn't want him judging her.

Rachel sent a quick text back to let him know she was okay. Tired but okay. It was sort of true; she supposed she was as well as she could be at the moment considering her relationship, one of the most important things in her life, had just imploded.

* * *

"Rachel!"

The brunette hummed and looked up when a hand waved in front of her face. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"Okay, what is going on with you?" Stephanie asked.

"It's nothing," Rachel replied, sitting up a little straighter. "I just haven't been sleeping well."

Stephanie's eyebrow rose in a way that reminded her very much of Quinn. Rachel quickly looked down at her plate, hoping she wouldn't question her further, but she knew there was no way that was going to happen. She wasn't nearly as nosy as Kurt was and she certainly wasn't one to gossip if you told her anything private, but that didn't mean she wasn't a curious person.

"Rachel, we've worked together for a while now, and I can tell when you're full of shit," Stephanie stated. "This isn't just you being tired. I saw you crying during I Believe yesterday."

Rachel felt herself blushing. She certainly hadn't meant to cry during the musical number, but she was often emotional while performing, and considering she was in such a highly emotional state at the moment, she was actually surprised it hadn't happened sooner. She'd hoped no one had noticed, but she'd thought she saw Stephanie give her a funny look as they were walking backstage. She hadn't actually said anything at the time, though, so Rachel had thought she was in the clear, but apparently she was mistaken.

"What's going on?" Stephanie asked. "Is this about that girl from high school?"

Rachel sighed. "Yes and no." She paused as she picked at her plate of spaghetti with her fork. "I told Finn that I needed to take a break to clear my head."

"Are you serious?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel nodded. "I thought it would be best if I could work through my past without worrying so much about how it was affecting him. So, in a way it has to do with her, but it also has to do with a lot more than just that. I want to be able to get over my hurt and my anger."

"Is he still staying at the apartment?" Stephanie asked.

"No, he's—he's staying with a friend at the moment," Rachel replied.

She didn't know why she didn't tell Stephanie that Finn had actually broken up with her when she told him she'd like to take a break. She knew the other woman would be nothing but supportive. She hadn't judged her when she told her about Quinn, and she knew she wouldn't judge her now. Yet she still couldn't bring herself to tell another person that her engagement was over. It was bad enough knowing that Finn's parents probably now knew.

Rachel still hadn't called her fathers. She didn't know what she was going to tell them—how she was going to explain it to them. They knew she had had difficulties during high school, but they didn't know the extent of it, and they certainly didn't know about her former relationship with Quinn. She supposed she could be vague about it and just say she needed to work on herself before getting married and hope they didn't ask too many questions.

"How is Finn taking it," Stephanie asked after a few moments.

"Not very well," Rachel said with a sigh. "He accused me of cheating on him."

Stephanie's eyebrow rose. "You didn't, did you?"

"No!" Rachel quickly said. "No, of course not! I would never cheat on anyone. If I was tempted to cheat, I would—"

"Take a break from your current relationship?" Stephanie asked, interrupting her.

"I was _not_ tempted to cheat," Rachel firmly said. "I didn't do this as a way to go sleep with anyone else. That isn't what the break is about. This is about working on myself and becoming at peace with everything that has happened."

Once again, there was that nagging feeling of guilt as she thought about Quinn. Sleeping with her definitely hadn't been part of her plan, but now that she had, she wasn't certain what to do about it. Part of her felt like she should call Quinn and reiterate that it was a mistake, but she figured she had made that perfectly clear before leaving her apartment. She figured the best course of action would be to just ignore that it had happened, but it was hard keeping it to herself. She was just so tired of keeping secrets at this point, and she wanted to be able to talk to someone about it, but at the same time, she didn't want to admit what she'd done.

"We need to get back soon," Stephanie said, picking up her phone, and looking at the time.

"I'm done, so I'm ready when you are," Rachel replied.

"You've barely eaten," Stephanie said, looking down at Rachel's plate.

"I haven't been very hungry," Rachel said with a sad smile.

* * *

Rachel jumped when her phone began ringing and immediately grabbed it from the table, glancing at the screen for a second before answering it and saying, "Hello."

"Hi," Kurt replied with a sigh.

"I thought you were going to call me before my show," Rachel said, walking back to her chair, and sitting down.

"I was going to, but Finn came home after we had lunch, and I couldn't very well call you with him here," Kurt replied. "He left after dinner, but I knew you would be in the middle of the first act, so I waited until I knew it would be over."

"It's been over for nearly fifteen minutes," Rachel pointed out.

"I wanted to be sure," Kurt said.

"So, how is he?" Rachel wondered.

"Confused," Kurt answered. "And hurt. He doesn't understand why you broke up with him."

Rachel resisted rolling her eyes. "I did not break up with him. All I asked for was for us to take a break from our relationship, not end things entirely. That was his decision."

"He doesn't see it that way," Kurt replied. "He says you were going to dump him."

Rachel sighed in frustration, rubbing her eye as she shook her head. "I thought I made it very clear that I did not want our engagement to end and that I was not breaking up with him. I just needed some time to myself."

"He asked me if I knew why you've been so weird lately," Kurt stated.

"And what did you tell him?" Rachel asked.

"I told him I didn't know," Kurt replied.

"I'm sorry you had to lie to him, Kurt," Rachel said.

"It's for the best," Kurt replied. "If he knew, it would only hurt him even more. Not to mention that he would really be blaming himself for making you go to the reunion. Or maybe he would just be mad at you. Or Quinn. It's really hard to tell with him. I know he won't be happy about it, though, and it could only make things worse."

Rachel slumped in her chair, laying her head back on the headrest. She didn't like to hear that Finn was hurting, but there wasn't a lot she could do about that now. He had been the one to make everything worse by overreacting, and he wouldn't listen to anything she had to say. She understood that it wasn't easy for him, but it didn't need to be as hard as it was. If he had just given her some space, maybe they could have gotten back to where they were before the whole thing. Maybe they even would have been stronger than before.

"So, is he going to move back home?" Rachel asked after a few moments.

"He didn't say," Kurt replied. "He's staying with Puck for now. Carole told him his old room is there if he wants it, but he didn't really say anything."

"Maybe it would be good if he stays with Noah," Rachel commented. "I doubt Breadstix pays very well. They could help each other out, and they would both be living with their best friend. Then again, I'm sure you would be happy to have the help around there if he were to move back home."

"I wouldn't say no to the help," Kurt replied.

"How is Burt doing, anyway?" Rachel asked.

"The tumor is still there, but it's not growing," Kurt said. "He still has six more rounds of chemo, and they're hoping the tumor will be completely gone by then. If it's not, they said we'll talk about our options. You're right, though; the help would be nice, but Finn will probably be more likely to help out at the garage than around here. I know Dad's happy to have someone around who knows what they're doing. He already offered to let him start working tomorrow."

"Is he going to?" Rachel asked.

"As far as I know." Kurt replied. "I'm sure he needs the money and there really isn't a lot of options around here unless you want to work fast food. I know Dad's still hoping Finn will take over the business one day. He says Finn has a knack for cars, and Dad really wants to keep it in the family."

"Well, he could always give it to you," Rachel joked. "If nothing else, Hummel Tires &amp; Lube would certainly have the most stylish mechanics."

"Yes, I'm sure it would thrive," Kurt joked back. "But I think I'll stick with helping Dad organize and answering calls."

"I, um, I know it's rather late, but when I get home, would you like to—"

"Watch sappy movies?" Kurt said.

"Yes," Rachel replied, smiling slightly to herself.

"I have nothing better to do," Kurt said. "Call me when you get home?"

"I will do that," Rachel replied. "I'll pick out a movie on the way."

"Nothing that's going to make me cry the whole time!" Kurt quickly added.

Rachel gave a light laugh. "Okay, Kurt."

* * *

"You're still here."

Rachel looked over her shoulder at Stephanie and stopped. "Yeah, I was talking Kurt on the phone."

"Well, I'm meeting Liz and Nick at the bar if you'd like to join us," Stephanie said. "A little alcohol might do you good right now."

"I appreciate the offer, but Kurt is expecting me to call him when I get home," Rachel replied. "We've been watching movies together."

Stephanie's eyebrows furrowed. "I didn't know he was in town."

"Oh, he's not," Rachel replied. "There's an app that allows you to synchronize movies on Netflix. It allows you to watch a movie with your friend even if they're halfway around the world. And then we Skype, so we can talk to each other during the movie. It's almost like he's here when he's still in Ohio."

She would forever be grateful for the technology. She couldn't imagine going through all of this without Kurt there by her side. He had been there for her during all her breakups—even if he didn't know about it at the time—and talking to him was one of the few things that made her feel better, if only for a little bit. Sometimes, when they were watching a movie together, she would even momentarily forget that he wasn't physically there with her.

"You sure you don't want to get drunk with us?" Stephanie asked.

"I'm sure," Rachel replied. "I really do appreciate the offer, but getting drunk probably wouldn't be the wisest decision at the moment."

If she'd managed to do something as stupid as sleeping with Quinn when she was sober, she would hate to think what she may do if she wasn't. With her luck, she would wake up in the morning next to Quinn again or find out she had called Finn and confessed everything to him. Whatever would end up happening, though, she wasn't going to find out. She was going to go home and spend a nice, quiet evening watching a movie with her best friend.

"Okay, I thought I'd check," Stephanie said with a shrug.

When they got to the door, Rachel hung back to let Stephanie exit first. She knew the people waiting would be less likely to stop her if the star of the show was in front of her. As much as she usually loved signing autographs, she wasn't really in the mood to interact with fans at the moment, which was probably a first for her. Even when she had the flu, she stopped to sign an autograph or two after warning people she may be contagious so they knew the risks.

Thankfully, Rachel was able to slip by everyone without anyone really noticing her. She thought one young woman was going to stop her, and Rachel was ready to comply with her request as to not be rude, but she had simply given her a smile, allowing Rachel to move on. Just when Rachel thought she was going to get away completely free, though, she realized she was mistaken.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked, stopping in her tracks just past the group of fans gathered around.

"Waiting for you," Quinn replied.

"I could guess that much," Rachel said. "_Why_ are you waiting on me?"

"Because I wanted to see you," Quinn answered. "I was hoping you would come by or call, but you didn't, so I thought I would come to you."

"I don't know your number," Rachel replied as if that was the reason she hadn't called.

"You didn't know where I lived, either, but that didn't stop you from finding out," Quinn said.

Rachel looked away, not meeting Quinn's eyes. She had thought Quinn may show up eventually, but after not coming by the previous two days, Rachel had hoped she was in the clear. She felt guilty enough when Quinn wasn't standing in front of her, but now that she was, Rachel felt even more ashamed about what she had done.

"I thought I made it perfectly clear the other night that what happened was a mistake," Rachel said, forcing herself to look back into Quinn's eyes.

"You did," Quinn said, her face and voice showing no emotion.

"Then you should know that I really don't want to talk, Quinn," Rachel said, brushing past her.

"You know where to find me when you do," Quinn replied from behind her.

Rachel slowed to a stop for a moment and opened her mouth, thinking about saying something else to Quinn, but then she closed it and began walking again.


	20. Here and Now

**Chapter 20 – Here and Now**

Rachel sniffed as she wiped her tears away with a tissue as the end credits began to roll across the screen. Since Kurt was on a date, she was left to watching sappy movies by herself, which meant she had picked one of the saddest one she could find. She had seen Beaches before, many times in fact, but it never failed to make her sob.

She stuck her spoon in her carton of ice cream and leaned forward, grabbing the remote control from the coffee table, and going back to the Netflix menu. She'd already added some other tearjerkers to her queue, so she picked My Girl, the first movie from her list, and threw the remote down on the cushion next to her.

Part of her wished she had told Kurt to cancel his date when he had asked her if she wanted him to, but the less selfish part knew he deserved to have a fun evening. It was Friday night, after all, and just because she was throwing herself a pity party, it didn't mean Kurt had to join her. Any time she had too much time to herself, though, she began overthinking everything, berating herself for screwing everything up. She didn't like feeling lonely, and that feeling was only made worse with the knowledge that it was her own doing. She could have been planning her wedding; instead, she there alone in her apartment, eating ice cream, and crying over sad movies.

Rachel loudly blew her nose and then tossed the tissue into the wastebasket that was sitting next to her. When she leaned back, she grabbed her spoon again, getting a large chunk of ice cream, which she slowly began to lick. They had been out of Rocky Road in her favorite brand, so she had gotten some other kind with chocolate pieces and chocolate swirls in chocolate ice cream. It was a bit of a chocolate overload, but she'd given up caring how much weight she was going to gain from all the junk she had been eating.

As the movie began to play, Rachel slowly looked toward her phone. She had deliberately put it on the island, away from her immediate reach, not wanting to do anything else she was going to regret. At least she would have a few seconds to think about what she was doing if she had to walk across the room to get to her phone.

She wasn't sure what she was more worried about doing: calling Finn or calling Quinn. She knew she needed to give the former space if he was ever going to speak to her again and that it would be foolish to bombard him with calls and messages. Quinn, on the other hand, she was trying not to call for her own sake rather than the blonde's.

Quinn had made it clear that she was okay if Rachel tried to contact her, but Rachel was afraid of what would happen if she did. As much as she didn't want to admit that she still had lingering feelings for the other woman, it was difficult to deny it. Quinn was her first love, and it was hard not to miss what they once had. How truly happy she had been when things were still good between them and she was convinced everything would work out somehow.

She had been naive, though. She once thought love could conquer all, but she now knew that was a fairy-tale. Love wasn't enough to keep two people together. The only two people she ever thought loved her had both left without a fight. Even though they supposedly loved her, neither Finn nor Quinn had tried to fight for their relationship. To try to fight for _her_.

Rachel couldn't help thinking what it may be like if she and Quinn somehow reconciled. If she could somehow get over her anger and let Quinn back into her life. But every time she thought about it, she always came to the conclusion that she would inevitably get her heart broken again, and she wasn't going to let Quinn hurt her like that again. She wasn't going to allow herself to be that vulnerable again.

Despite that, she had come close to calling Quinn several times that day. Or more precisely, calling Tina to see if she would give her Quinn's phone number. But whenever she thought about it, she quickly talked herself out of calling, knowing no good could possibly come from letting Quinn Fabray back into her life. Yet as she looked across the room at her phone, even knowing everything she knew, she couldn't seem to help thinking about calling Quinn. Once again, she quickly dismissed the idea, chalking it up to simply being lonely without Finn there.

* * *

Rachel took a deep breath as her knuckles rapped on the door. Looking down, she wondered if anyone was even home since it was in the middle of the day, but after few moments, she heard the door begin to open and looked up to find Quinn there, her eyebrow slightly raised.

"Hi," Rachel said, forcing herself not to look away.

"Hey," Quinn replied, sounding a little apprehensive.

It had taken Rachel twice as long as it should have to get there, backtracking every five minutes as she convinced herself not to go, but then she would eventually change her mind and head toward Quinn's once again. She had actually been surprised to find herself standing in front of Quinn's building, shocked that she hadn't eventually talked herself out of going to Quinn's apartment. Even after she had gotten there, it had taken her another ten minutes to walk to the door and finally knock.

"Do you want to come in?" Quinn eventually asked.

"I—" Rachel wanted to say no, but it seemed stupid to go all that way just to stand on her welcome mat. "Okay."

Quinn stepped to the side and Rachel walked past her, stopping just inside the entryway, clasping her hands in front of her as she looked around the room. She hadn't really noticed Quinn's apartment the last time she was there, too focused on her anger and then too distracted by other things. The apartment was small but had an airy feeling about it. The walls were a light blue and there were multiple windows, making the room feel bigger than it really was.

"Do you have a roommate?" Rachel wondered, looking over her shoulder at Quinn.

"No," Quinn said, shaking her head.

Rachel nodded and turned back around as Quinn walked past her, heading toward the living room. Rachel followed, choosing to sit on the chair rather than join Quinn on the couch. Not only did she not want to be that close to the other woman, but she figured it would be easier to talk to her if they were sitting across from one another.

"I'm sorry for just stopping by," Rachel said, adjusting her skirt a little.

"You do seem to do that," Quinn replied.

"Yes, well—"

"And you don't have to be sorry," Quinn interrupted.

"Be that as it may, I should have called first," Rachel replied. "It was rude of me not to. I thought about calling Tina for you number, but I thought it would be best if she didn't start asking too many questions. I'm sure she thought it was strange enough that I was asking for your address"

"What are you doing here, Rachel?" Quinn asked when Rachel paused.

"Is this a bad time?" Rachel asked. "Should I go?"

"I just meant that two nights ago you told me you didn't want to talk to me, and now here you are," Quinn said.

"Yes, well—" Rachel paused. She wasn't even entirely sure what she was doing there herself, so she could imagine why Quinn was confused by it. "The other night was—"

"A mistake, I know," Quinn replied. "You've told me."

"It shouldn't have happened," Rachel stated. "Finn had just broken up with me and I clearly wasn't thinking straight at the moment." She blushed slightly as her choice of words. "I just don't want you to think that I came over here intending for that to happen, because I didn't. I was angry and highly emotional at the time, and I wanted someone to blame for what happened."

"Is that why you came over here?" Quinn asked. "To tell me this?"

"Yes," Rachel lied.

Quinn nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shrugged her shoulder. "What else do you want me to say? It was a mistake; you've made that perfectly clear."

"Okay, then," Rachel said, uncrossing her legs, ready to stand up.

"But even if it was a mistake, that doesn't mean that has to be it," Quinn said, causing Rachel to pause.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"I mean we can still talk," Quinn replied.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Rachel asked.

"Why not?" Quinn asked back.

Rachel could come up with a hundred reasons for why it was a bad idea, but yet she didn't really want to voice any of them. She didn't want Quinn knowing she was worried about possibly being hurt by her again in some way or that it had even fleetingly crossed her mind what would happen if anything were to transpire between them again.

"The last time we tried to talk, it didn't go so well," Rachel said after a few long moments.

"That doesn't mean things can't change," Quinn replied.

"Okay," Rachel said, sighing. "But not here."

"Then where?" Quinn asked.

"The theater," Rachel answered. "I have two shows tomorrow, but if you stop by around five—"

"I'll be there," Quinn said.

Rachel slowly nodded and then stood up from the chair. "I guess I'll see you then. I can show myself to the door."

* * *

"I swear, Rachel, this is the last movie I'm ever watching with you!" Kurt said, and Rachel looked at her laptop screen to see him wiping at his eyes.

"It isn't as if you haven't watched Love Story before," Rachel replied as she dabbed the tears from her own eyes.

"No, but I said I would never watch it again and you're making me watch it again!" Kurt said. "You know, I don't understand your need to watch depressing movies when you're already sad. Shouldn't you watch movies that are going to get you out of this funk? Watch The Heat or something that's going to make you laugh. Not something that's going to make you cry."

"It's how I grieve, Kurt," Rachel replied. "It's part of my catharsis. It makes me realize things could be even worse than they are, and I eventually feel better."

"While making your best friend feel worse," Kurt added.

"I'm not forcing you to watch movies with me, Kurt," Rachel replied. "You were the one who called me during lunch and asked what we were watching tonight. Now, if you don't want to do that, you could easily turn off your computer."

"I could," Kurt agreed. "But in case you haven't noticed, I miss having my best friend around, and this is the closest I can get, so if you're going to watch depressing movies, then I'm going to watch them with you."

"I appreciate it," Rachel said, pausing for a moment. "So, have you, um, have you talked to Finn again?"

"I saw him yesterday," Kurt replied. "Bill called in, so he came by to help out at the garage."

"How is he?" Rachel asked.

"Still angry, still confused," Kurt answered. "He keeps asking if I know why you dumped him, and I keep telling him to ask you that."

"I did _not_ dump him," Rachel said with a huff.

"I'm just the messenger," Kurt replied, holding his hands up.

"I know," Rachel said with a sigh. "I'm sorry that you've been put in the middle of this whether you want to be or not."

She was trying to keep him out of it as much as possible, but it was difficult when he was her only source of information to how Finn was doing. Even though their engagement was off, she still cared about him. She couldn't just turn that off even if it would make everything so much easier.

"How is he, though?" Rachel asked. "Really?"

"He's—" Kurt sighed. "He's how you'd expect him to be. As far as I can tell, he's moping around, drinking, and playing those video games with Puck where they like to shoot people. He doesn't really talk about it that much. You know how he can be. The typical guy who doesn't like to talk about his feelings."

Rachel nodded. It was one of the things that always bothered her when she was with him. It was actually something Finn and Quinn had in common. Neither of them liked to talk about their feelings very much, whereas Rachel was the complete opposite.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Rachel asked.

"How are you really?" Kurt asked. "Anything going on in your life that I should know about?"

"You know how I am, Kurt," Rachel replied. "And I tell you everything."

"I used to think you did," Kurt said, raising his eyebrow.

Rachel opened her mouth to protest, but she knew it would be of no use. She had lied to him for years even if there was a reason for it, and even now, she hadn't told him about sleeping with Quinn or even seeing her in the past week. She knew it was going to come up sooner or later, though; even if she never brought it up, it was probably only a matter of time before Finn mentioned that she stayed the night at Quinn's.

"So, are we watching another movie after this or are you going to bed?" Kurt asked.

"I should really go to bed," Rachel replied. "It's getting late and I do have a matinee show tomorrow."

"Do you want to finish this movie tomorrow?" Kurt asked.

Rachel shook her head before laying it back on the couch. "Let's finish this one and then I'll worry about sleep."

* * *

Even though she had just looked at the clock a minute or two before, Rachel couldn't help glancing at it again as she passed by. After their last conversation, she assumed Quinn would be there around five, but it was already after five-thirty and the blonde had not shown up yet. If she was going to come, she needed to get there soon, though. Rachel would be going back on stage in less than two hours and she needed to eat before the next show if she wanted to keep her energy up. But just as she grabbed her purse to head out, there was a light knock on the door.

"Hey," Quinn said when Rachel opened the door.

"You're late," Rachel said.

"My mom called right before I left," Quinn stated.

Rachel didn't know if she considered that a valid excuse for tardiness, but she stepped to the side, nevertheless. "I don't like being kept waiting."

"I remember," Quinn said as she walked into the dressing room.

Quinn slowly began walking around, looking at the room, while Rachel watched her closely. It was more than a little strange to have her there, and Rachel had been nervous all day about Quinn coming, unable to shake the feeling that this was just another mistake.

"Is this room all yours?" Quinn asked.

"No, I share it with two other people," Rachel answered. "They're all out to dinner at the moment."

Quinn nodded and then looked around for a few more moments before turning to look at Rachel. "How long have you been doing this show?"

"Over a year," Rachel answered. "I started in the ensemble while I was in my final semester at NYADA. Then six months ago, the woman who was playing Emily decided to leave for another show, so they gave me the role. I'm hoping if Stephanie ever decides to move on, they will see fit to give me the lead."

"They will," Quinn said.

"You don't know that," Rachel replied.

"Yes, I do," Quinn said. "You were the best thing about the show."

Rachel didn't immediately respond, searching Quinn's face for any sign that she was lying. She didn't see any, but that didn't necessarily mean that Quinn was telling the truth. She had always been rather skilled at hiding things. Rachel had seen her lie many times without any trace of emotion to give her away.

"You've always been the most talented person I've ever met," Quinn added after a few moments.

Rachel's body reacted before her mind could catch up to what she was doing. Then again, that always seemed to be the case when it came to Quinn. If she had ever stopped to truly think back in high school, she very much doubted they would be there at that very moment. But Quinn always managed to have that pull over her from the very first time they had met. Even when Quinn was calling her names and throwing slushies at her, Rachel couldn't help being drawn to her. Even now, despite the fact that part of her still hated Quinn in a way, she found herself closing the distance between them and pulling the blonde into a heated kiss.

By the time Rachel realized what she was doing, Quinn's hands were already tangled in her hair. Rather than pulling away, though, Rachel deepened the kiss, thrusting her tongue against Quinn's as she pushed her backwards. Quinn's back hit the vanity, and Rachel heard several things fall, but neither of them stopped to see what they were.

A second later, Rachel found herself sitting on the vanity when Quinn pulled her hands out of Rachel's hair and grabbed her ass, lifting her up and spinning her around in one fluid motion. Several more things went flying as Rachel's hand gripped the edge of the vanity for support as Quinn pressed into her, their tongues dancing together.

Rachel was the first to pull away, locking eyes with Quinn as she reached down and began removing her own underwear. Quinn broke the eye contact, looking down and following Rachel's black thong as it slid down her thighs and off her calves. She looked back up without either of them saying a word and brought their lips together once again as her hand slipped under Rachel's skirt, grazing her thigh.

Rachel let out a little gasp as Quinn's finger slid into her for a moment before pulling out and encircling her clit. A few moments later, two fingers entered her and she was unable to control the moan that escaped her lips. She didn't even care that the door wasn't locked or that anyone could come in at any moment. All she cared about was Quinn's moving in and out of her, pushing her closer to the brink of orgasm with every thrust. Fortunately, it didn't take long before she was pushed over the edge with one final, hard thrust of Quinn's fingers that left Rachel's nails digging into Quinn's shoulders as the orgasm washed over her.

"I hope you don't think this is why I came here," Quinn whispered into her ear as the throbbing began to subside.

Rachel hummed in response and then shuddered as Quinn pulled her fingers out.

"You're off tomorrow, right?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel answered.

Rachel glanced at the door, hearing laughter coming from the hallway, and quickly pushed Quinn away, jumping off the vanity just as the door opened. Thankfully, her cast mate, Liz, was too busy talking on the phone to notice anything.

"I should go," Quinn said, glancing at the woman who'd just entered before looking at Rachel again. "Can we have dinner tomorrow?"

Rachel opened her mouth, about to say no, but then she closed it and slowly nodded.

"Is there any chance I can finally get your number?" Quinn asked.

"Oh—yeah," Rachel said as Quinn pulled out her phone. "It's 419-555-2175."

"You still have the same number from high school?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Do you still have my number in your contact list?" Rachel wondered, furrowing her brows.

"No, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten it," Quinn replied. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Rachel gave Quinn a nod and the blonde began to take a step forward but stopped and glanced at Liz.

"Goodnight," Rachel said.

* * *

Rachel smiled and thanked the waiter as he took her empty plate away. His appearance had been a welcome distraction from the silence that had fallen between her and Quinn, and was back once again the moment the waiter walked away from the table.

"I—"

"Look—"

They both stopped and looked at each other, having both spoken at the same time.

"You go first," Rachel said.

"I was just going to say that I'm glad you agreed to meet me," Quinn stated.

"Even if we have nothing to say to one another?" Rachel asked.

"I don't think that's the problem," Quinn replied.

"Then what is the problem?" Rachel asked.

"I think the problem is we have too much to say," Quinn replied.

Rachel reached out and grabbed her glass of water, taking a sip. She'd never known Quinn to have too much to say; quite the opposite, in fact. Quinn had never been the most open with her thoughts or emotions. Even when they were together, it took Rachel a long time to get to know the real Quinn.

"What are we doing?" Rachel asked as she set her glass down and looked across the table.

"I thought we were having dinner," Quinn replied.

Rachel couldn't help rolling her eyes. "You know that's not what I meant, Quinn. Why are we here? Why did we—"

Rachel sighed and looked away. She still felt a little embarrassed about her behavior the previous day and she decided it would be best if she didn't bring it up. She had always firmly believed that women wanted sex just as much as men did, but having sex in her dressing room just wasn't something she did. She wasn't even really sure what had come over her. It was very unprofessional and anyone could have walked in.

"I don't think I can answer that for you," Quinn said after a few moments.

"Well, then, I don't know why I'm here," Rachel replied. "My only explanation is that I'm losing my mind. I must be for me to go over to your apartment last week after what happened between us in high school. What happened shouldn't have happened; I shouldn't have gone over there."

"But you did," Quinn said. "I get that you're mad at me, Rachel, but you don't actually know me. High school was five years ago, and people change. We both have. We're not the same people we were; I'm not a scared teenager anymore."

"So, what are you saying?" Rachel asked.

"I'm saying—can we get to know each other now?" Quinn asked. "Now that we're both adults and we're out of Ohio and out of that damn high school? We're not sixteen anymore, Rachel."

"I'm quite aware of that," Rachel replied.

"Then why are you mad about something that happened when we were that age?" Quinn asked.

Rachel opened her mouth but closed it when she realized she didn't really have an answer for Quinn. "You're right. I don't know you anymore and you don't know me."

She knew what she was saying was true, but she wasn't naive enough to think that knowledge would make everything go away. She had been holding onto her hurt and anger for a long time. It had been buried so deeply for the past three years that she thought it had gone away, but now she knew that it never had. Which is why she knew it wouldn't just disappear in an instant even if she wished it could. She always considered herself a forgiving person, but there were just some things that she didn't know how to get over.

"And yes," Rachel added after a brief pause.

"Yes what?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel gave a slight nod, "we can get to know each other now, as adults."


	21. The Truth

**Chapter 21 – The Truth**

Rachel sighed as her phone began to ring once again. It was the third time in the past hour, so she didn't have to look at the screen to know that it was Kurt calling again. Like the previous two times, she let it ring until it went to voicemail. Several minutes later, her phone chimed a few times, signaling that she had several text messages.

She sighed again and reached her hand out, groping around until her hand landed on her phone. She picked it up and looked at the screen, ignoring the missed calls and going straight to her messages. She didn't want to ignore Kurt if it was anything important, but it was just several messages asking her where she was in varying tones. As she read the last one, her phone began to ring again. With another sigh, Rachel accepted the call, knowing Kurt wasn't going to leave her alone until she did.

"Hi," Rachel said.

"It's about damn time," Kurt replied. "I've been calling and texting you for days. Where the hell have you been? I was afraid something happened to you."

"I told you last night that I was fine," Rachel stated. "And we spoke two days ago. You're just being dramatic."

"Three," Kurt corrected. "And I would like to know why you've been avoiding my calls."

"I haven't been avoiding your calls," Rachel replied. "I've just been—busy."

It was lie; she _had_ been avoiding his calls. After what happened on Sunday in her dressing room and having dinner with Quinn on Monday, she'd made her mind up that she was going to tell Kurt the next time she spoke to him. Which is why she had been avoiding talking to him, so she could put it off a little longer. As tired as she was of lying to him, she was also a little scared of what he was going to say about everything.

"Busy with what?" Kurt asked. "Avoiding me?"

Rachel sighed to herself as she sat up from where she'd been lying on the couch. "Kurt—"

"What?" he asked. "If you don't want to talk to me you could just say so. I can take a hint. Nothing says we have to stay friends even though we've been best friends for years. If you don't want to talk to me—"

"I had sex with Quinn," Rachel blurted out.

There was a long pause and then Kurt finally asked, "What?"

"I've been avoiding your calls because I promised myself I would tell you the next time we spoke," Rachel replied.

"You—when did this happen?" Kurt asked. "Oh, Rachel, you didn't cheat on Finn like he thinks, did you?"

"No!" Rachel quickly said. "Of course I didn't. It was after Finn decided he would rather end our engagement completely rather than simply take a break."

"How soon after?" Kurt asked, and she could hear the skepticism in his voice.

"You know—" Rachel paused, sighing, "a few hours."

"Rachel!" Kurt exclaimed.

"I know!" Rachel said, putting her face in her hand. "It's not like I was planning on doing it. I went over to her apartment because I was so angry and I felt like it was her fault and I wanted to yell at her for ruining my life again."

"How did you go from wanting to yell at her to sleeping with her?" Kurt asked, sounding exasperated.

"I don't know!" Rachel replied. "It just happened, okay? And I felt really guilty after it, which is why I didn't immediately tell you."

"So why did you decide to tell me now?" Kurt asked.

"Because I hate lying," Rachel replied. "And because it happened again. And because Quinn and I had dinner last night." Rachel sighed again. "We're agreed to get to know each other now."

"So, you're dating her now," Kurt said.

"No, it's not like that," Rachel replied.

"It sounds like it to me," Kurt argued.

"It wasn't a date," Rachel said. "It was simply two people agreeing to get to know each other now. I have no intention of getting my heart broken again by Quinn Fabray."

"And you think getting to know her is the best way to avoid that?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know what to think anymore, Kurt," Rachel replied. "I thought I was going to marry Finn and spend the rest of my life with him, but that isn't going to happen. I thought I was over everything that happened in high school, but then I let you and Finn convince me to go to the reunion. So, as you can see, things haven't exactly been going the way I thought they would." She paused for a moment. "I'm doing my best, Kurt."

"I didn't say you weren't," Kurt said. "I'm just worried about you."

"I'm worried about me, too," Rachel quietly admitted.

* * *

"I'm sorry I'm late," Quinn said when she finally sat down across from Rachel. "I was stuck in a meeting that ran over."

"It's alright," Rachel replied.

She didn't exactly like having to wait, but at least Quinn had sent her a message letting her know, which was more than most people seemed to do nowadays. It annoyed her to no end when Finn was supposed to meet her somewhere, usually at the theater to go to dinner when she had a matinee show, and he would show up an hour late because he lost track of time.

"So, what exactly do you do?" Rachel wondered. "Job wise"

"I'm an editorial assistant at a small publishing company," Quinn replied.

"What does that mean?" Rachel asked.

"That means I'm a glorified secretary at the moment," Quinn answered. "I do whatever is needed."

Rachel nodded. "How long have you been working there?"

"Since February," Quinn replied. "I started at a different, larger publishing company, but my boss decided he liked me a little too much, so I quit."

"You quit?" Rachel asked. "Why didn't you complain to human resources?"

"Because he was good friends with the owner and I had no proof," Quinn replied. "Plus, I slapped him when he decided to touch me, so I would have been fired if I hadn't quit. I like it better where I am now anyway. The commute isn't as bad, the people are a lot nicer, and all the men are gay, so I don't have to worry about being hit on every day."

Rachel frowned. "That's terrible."

"I'm not disagreeing," Quinn said as she picked up her menu and opened it.

Rachel watched Quinn as her eyes roamed over the menu, looking away after a few seconds. It felt a little weird being there with her, but Quinn had called the previous night to ask if she would want to go to lunch, and Rachel had no reason to say no. They'd agreed to get to know each other, after all, and she knew they had to start somewhere. She just hoped it wasn't quite as awkward as the dinner they'd had earlier in the week.

"Did you always want to work for a publishing company?" Rachel asked. "I know you used to speak about wanting to be a writer when we were d—in high school."

Quinn shrugged. "I would still like to write, but I thought I would do something a little more practical."

"What about doing what you love?" Rachel asked.

"We don't all have that luxury," Quinn replied.

"What does that mean?" Rachel asked, frowning.

"That means we don't all have supportive parents," Quinn replied.

Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but the waitress chose that very moment to show up. After taking their orders, Rachel handed her menu to the waitress with a smile, but the second she walked away from the table, it fell off Rachel's face, and she turned to Quinn and asked, "What did you mean by 'we don't all have supportive parents'?"

"Exactly what I said," Quinn replied. "I wasn't trying to insult you, Rachel. You're lucky to have two parents who will always be there for you. I was just saying that my mom isn't going to pay me to live in New York and write."

"And your dad?" Rachel asked.

"You've clearly never met my father," Quinn replied, giving her a wry smile.

"And whose fault is that?" Rachel asked.

Quinn ran her hand through her hair as she sat back in her seat. "You should be glad you've never met him."

"Maybe you're right, but I would like to have had a choice in the matter," Rachel replied.

"Yeah, you're right," Quinn said. "Then he could have forbidden me from ever speaking to you again because you're Jewish and you have two fathers. Because he wouldn't have wanted any daughter of his associating with someone like that."

"You didn't even give it a chance," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"I didn't need to, Rachel," Quinn replied. "I know how my father is. I know what he thinks because I heard it all my life. I grew up thinking I was going to hell for who I was, which is why I tried so hard to be someone else."

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest but didn't say anything further. She found it difficult to believe that any parent could be like that toward their child, and she never understood why Quinn wouldn't at least try to be a little more honest with her parents. Maybe they weren't ready to hear that their daughter was dating another female, but she always thought it was a complete overreaction to not even let them appear to be friends.

"How long do you have for lunch?" Rachel asked after a few moments.

"Don't worry; I only have a half hour before I need to go," Quinn said, raising her eyebrow with a slight smile.

* * *

Rachel stretched her arms over her head with a yawn and then lifted her head to look at the clock. She laid it back with a groan as she felt Quinn shifting behind her. She hadn't intended on spending the night, but it was after seven in the morning, well past the time she usually got up.

"Morning," Quinn softly said.

"Good morning," Rachel replied. "When did I fall asleep?"

"Why?" Quinn asked, sitting up on her elbow. "Were you planning on leaving the moment you got what you wanted?"

"Of course not," Rachel replied. "If that was the case, I wouldn't have reciprocated, would I? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you had multiple orgasms last night."

Quinn didn't respond as Rachel sat up and began retrieving her clothes from around the room. She had shown up unannounced after a spur of the moment decision to go to Quinn's apartment rather than her own. The thought of going home to an empty apartment had been far too depressing, though, but she also didn't feel like joining some of her cast mates at the local club. So, she found herself grabbing a taxi and taking it to Quinn's apartment, where the blonde didn't seem all that surprised to see her.

"Leaving already?" Quinn asked.

"I assume you need to get to work," Rachel replied.

"Eventually, but not this very moment" Quinn said.

"Be that as it may, I'm sure I'm disrupting your morning routine," Rachel replied as she slid her panties on.

Quinn sat up and the sheet slipped off her chest, drawing Rachel's eyes to her breasts. She unconsciously licked her lips at the sight of them, but quickly tore her eyes away from them and resumed her search for the rest of her clothing. It was easier said than done, though, when there was an attractive woman in the bed behind her, completely naked.

"I'll be out of your way as soon as I'm dressed," Rachel added as she grabbed her bra next to the nightstand.

"Really, you're not bothering me," Quinn replied. "I could make breakfast before you go."

"No, thank you," Rachel said. "I appreciate the offer, but it's really not necessary."

Staying over for breakfast was something couples did, and she and Quinn were definitely not a couple. If anything, she would consider them friends with benefits. Well, minus the friends part. They were just two people who were sexually attracted to each other and happened to have a complicated history. It wasn't something she would usually do, but it wasn't like it was hurting anyone since they were both single.

"Rachel—"

"I think someone is trying to call you," Rachel said, pointing at Quinn's phone on the nightstand.

"It's my mom," Quinn said, looking at the screen, and then looking back up at Rachel. "Just—hold on." She sighed as she put the phone to her ear. "Hi, mom."

Rachel could hear Quinn's mom's voice on the other end, but she couldn't make out anything she was saying. Not that Rachel was trying to eavesdrop on the conversation. Quinn wasn't saying very much, just the occasional 'yeah', and Rachel could feel the blonde's eyes on her as she grabbed her skirt and then finally found her top thrown onto the chair in the corner of the room.

She quickly put the rest of her clothes on with her back to Quinn and then walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed to slip her shoes on. When she looked over her shoulder, Quinn was still watching her, so she nodded toward the door to let Quinn know she was leaving.

"Wait," Quinn said. "No, mom, I wasn't—" Quinn sighed. "I have to go; I'll call you later. Rachel, wait."

Rachel stopped at the door and slowly turned around to look at Quinn, who was wrapping the sheet around herself and getting out of bed.

"You don't have to run every time you wake up here," Quinn said.

"I'm not running," Rachel calmly yet firmly replied. "You need to get to work and I was planning on doing some food shopping this morning. I've been living on nothing but junk food and takeout for the past week and a half, and I hate to imagine what it's doing to my body."

Quinn's eyebrow rose, looking like she didn't really believe Rachel, but she nodded after a moment.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" Rachel asked. "Maybe I could stop by again after my show."

"No, I don't," Quinn replied.

"Well, then, I'll see you around eleven," Rachel said, turning on her heel, and walking toward the front door.

* * *

Rachel greeted George, the lighting guy, and then smiled at several other men in suits that she'd never seen before as she made her way to her dressing room. She was usually one of the first actors there, but Liz and Alyson were already in the room, as was Stephanie, who had a dressing room to herself, but liked to socialize in theirs.

"There you are," Liz said when she saw her. "We were wondering where you were."

"I feel asleep on the couch," Rachel explained. "I woke up around the time I usually leave my apartment, so I was a little behind."

"Why so tired?" Stephanie asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Oh, you know," Rachel said with a shrug.

She didn't want to admit that she had spent the last two nights at Quinn's, and both nights she hadn't fallen asleep until the early hours of the morning. For once, though, she hadn't fallen asleep at Quinn's apartment; instead, she called a taxi to take her home even though it had been in the middle of the night, which was partly why she was so tired.

Rachel set her purse on one of the hooks and then sat down, cradling her cup of coffee. She knew she looked terrible—her eyes were red and she had bags under them—but there wasn't a lot she could do about it. She'd already been late and didn't have a lot of time to try to make herself a little more presentable. Plus, she didn't think there was much point when she was going to have to do her makeup at the theater anyway.

"You haven't seen Oliver, have you?" Alyson asked.

"I think he's in the green room with Nick," Stephanie said. "Or at least that's where he was when I left."

Alyson hummed and stood up from her vanity, leaning forward, and tilting her face from side to side. "I'm going to go remind him that he owes me a drink tonight."

"Wait for me," Liz said, standing as well.

Rachel watched in her mirror as Liz and Alyson walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them. When she looked away, Stephanie caught her eye for a moment, but Rachel quickly looked down, pulling her makeup brush toward her.

"It sounds like you guys had fun last night," Rachel commented.

"We did," Stephanie said. "You should try joining us sometime. You didn't come out before because you wanted to get home to Finn, but you're on a break now, right?"

Rachel opened her mouth for a moment, but then closed it with a sigh.

"Did you two decide to end your break?" Stephanie asked.

"Actually, when I asked Finn for some time, he decided he didn't want to give me what I needed," Rachel admitted. "Our engagement is off. Finn broke up with me and moved back to Ohio a week and half ago."

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Stephanie asked.

"I don't know," Rachel said, sitting back in her chair. "I guess telling people makes it more real, and I don't want people giving me that look."

"What look?" Stephanie asked.

"That look that says I'm going to die a spinster, surrounded by cats," Rachel replied.

Stephanie laughed. "No one is going to look at you like that."

"Well, they should," Rachel said, looking into the mirror at her friend. "No one ever loves me enough to stay when things get a little more difficult. All I wanted was a little time and space to clear my head, but Finn thought it would be better if he just broke up with me, instead. And Quinn—" Rachel paused for a few seconds and then looked away. "Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"Okay, first thing, you're not going to die alone," Stephanie stated. "Just because those two relationships didn't work out, it doesn't mean the next one won't. Or the one after that. And second—maybe it's a good thing you're not getting married right now. You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Finn was—"

"Finn was what?" Rachel asked when Stephanie hesitated.

"I never got the feeling that he really wanted to be here," Stephanie replied. "Some people just don't belong in New York. I know I only met him a few times, but—"

"You're right," Rachel interrupted. "He didn't want to be here. He never really did."

"Like I said, maybe it's for the best," Stephanie said. "You'll be able to work through everything without worrying about him. You can just focus on yourself for once."

"That's what I've told myself, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty or afraid," Rachel replied, giving Stephanie a sad smile.

* * *

Rachel sighed as she looked around the apartment. She wasn't used to Finn's things not being there, and she couldn't help thinking how empty the apartment looked now. How empty it felt. Then again, she wasn't exactly used to living alone. Other than when she first came to New York, before Kurt moved in with her, she had never been alone for any significant period of time, and she had grown used to always having someone there.

Grabbing her phone from the coffee table, she sat down on the couch and stared at the screen, her finger hovering above it. It was a little after eleven, much later than she would usually be calling, but she'd decided she was going to finally call her fathers and she didn't want to put it off another day. Thankfully, they usually stayed up a little later on the weekends, and when she finally dialed their number, it only rang twice before she heard the quiet click of someone answering.

"Hi, sweetie," Leroy greeted her. "Did you just get home?"

"Hi, Daddy," Rachel said, smiling slightly at the sound of her father's voice. "Yes, I just walked into the apartment. Is Dad still awake?"

"Yeah, he's right here," Leroy replied. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I-I just thought I would talk to you before getting to bed," Rachel said.

"Do you want me to put him on speakerphone?" Leroy asked.

"Please," Rachel replied.

"Hiram!" Leroy called out.

Rachel ran her hand through her hair and then laid her head back. She didn't know if she had the energy to talk to her fathers individually, and she would rather tell them together anyway. She didn't want them to hear that she and Finn were no longer together from someone else, and it was bound to happen now that Finn was back in Lima. She had put it off for as long as she could, and now she was going to have to talk to them about it.

"Hi, honey!" Hiram said after nearly a minute.

"Hi, Dad," Rachel replied, smiling to herself again.

"You're on speakerphone now," Leroy announced. "How are you, sweetie?"

"I'm okay," Rachel answered.

"Are you sure?" Hiram asked.

"Is something wrong?" Leroy asked, and she could hear the concern in his voice.

"I just have some news, and I thought I would call you before you heard it from someone else," Rachel said.

"I'm going to guess this news isn't good," Hiram replied.

"Finn and I—we split up," Rachel said.

"What?" Hiram asked.

"I am so sorry, sweetie," Leroy said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay, I guess," Rachel replied.

"Did this just happen tonight?" Hiram asked.

"No," Rachel said. "Actually, it happened a little over a week ago."

"Why didn't you call us sooner?" Leroy asked.

"I didn't want you to be disappointed," Rachel replied.

"Honey, you know we could never be disappointed in you," Hiram said. "We love you and will always support you."

"I know," Rachel said, feeling a sudden rush of gratitude toward her fathers. "It's just—it was my fault. I asked Finn for a break to clear my head of some things, but he didn't want to do that. He moved out the next day; he's back in Lima now, staying with Noah, and working at Burt's garage. I haven't spoken to him since he left New York, but Kurt has kept me informed."

"Do you think there is any possibility he will change his mind?" Leroy asked.

"I don't think so, no," Rachel replied. "Finn made it very clear that he doesn't want to live here anymore and that he's done with me." Rachel sighed. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize to us, sweetie," Leroy said. "A little break isn't an unreasonable request. Your father and I took one for a few months during the second year we were together, and do you know what? It made us a much stronger couple."

"You did?" Rachel asked. "You never told me that."

"We did," Leroy replied. "And if Finn couldn't even handle something like this now, how would he have dealt with marriage? I know you're hurting right now, and I know this won't make you feel any better, but maybe it's for the best that this happened now, when you're not married and you don't have a child."

"You're not the first person to tell me that," Rachel said, looking down. "Anyway, I should let you go. It's been a long day, and I'm rather tired. I just—I wanted to talk to you before I went to bed. I'm sorry for calling you so late."

"You know you can call us any time, day or night," Hiram replied.

"What your father said," Leroy said. "We love you."

"I love you too," Rachel replied. "Both of you. More than I could ever tell you."

"Goodnight, honey," Hiram said.

"Sweet dreams," Leroy added.

"Goodnight," Rachel said, wiping away the tear that had begun falling down her cheek.


	22. Holding Back

**Chapter 22 – Holding Back**

"Kurt!" Rachel said, stopping in her tracks, her mouth hanging open. "Wh—what are you doing here?"

Kurt stood up from where he'd been sitting in the hallway, in front of her door, wiping the back of his pants off with a look of displeasure. "You know, you should really talk to someone about cleaning out here."

"Kurt!" Rachel said again, stamping her foot for emphasis.

"Can't I come to New York to see my best friend?" Kurt asked, holding out his arms.

Rachel immediately walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist as he put his around her shoulders. She didn't know what he was doing there, but she didn't think she had ever been happier to see him. It had been a long month, and even though she had talked to him on the phone and over Skype, there was something comforting about having him physically there.

"Seriously, what are you doing here?" Rachel asked as she leaned her cheek against his chest. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"Because I wanted to surprise you," Kurt replied.

"You have a habit of doing that lately," Rachel remarked.

"Are you saying I shouldn't?" Kurt asked.

"Of course not," Rachel replied. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. But you still haven't told me why you're here."

"Why do you think I'm here?" Kurt asked. "I'm worried about you."

Rachel shook her head and extracted herself from Kurt's arms. "You already have enough to worry about without worrying about me too. I'm fine, Kurt."

Kurt titled his head slightly as he raised his eyebrows at her. "If you're fine, why are we still watching depressing movies every night?"

"It's not every night," Rachel said with a frown.

She wasn't going to bring up the fact that it probably would be every night if she didn't go over to Quinn's after her show on the nights that she wasn't watching movies with him. She knew Kurt didn't necessarily approve of her current circumstances even if he didn't really say anything. She could hear it in his tone every time the blonde came up, though.

"So, are you going to invite me inside or am I going to have to sleep out here?" Kurt asked.

"Like you would ever sleep in a hallway," Rachel said with a smile.

"It's a figure of speech," Kurt replied.

"How long have you been waiting out here?" Rachel wondered.

"An hour or two," Kurt answered. "I thought you would be home a little sooner or I would have just met you at the theater."

"Yes, the crowd was a little bigger than usual tonight," Rachel said as she walked toward the door and unlocked it. "A lot of people wanted pictures, and I stopped to talk to a few of them."

As he hoisted his bag onto his shoulder, she stepped to the side, allowing him to enter the apartment ahead of her. She was thankful she had just cleaned the apartment earlier that week since it had been a bit of a mess lately. Quinn had come over for the first time, though, and she didn't want the blonde thinking she lived like that normally. It still wasn't as clean as she liked to keep it, but Kurt had certainly seen it look much worse while they were Skyping.

"How long are you planning on being here?" Rachel asked.

"I have a flight out Friday evening," Kurt replied. "Finn's staying there this week to help out, and he's at the garage to look after Dad if he decides to go there because he's stubborn and doesn't like to rest." Kurt shook his head. "I keep telling him that rest is important, but he doesn't like to listen. Anyway, I would stay longer, but he has another appointment with the oncologist on Tuesday, so I want to be there for it."

"I understand completely," Rachel said.

"It looks a little different in here," Kurt commented as he walked toward the living room.

"Yes, it does," Rachel quietly agreed.

"None of those game systems for me to trip over in the morning," Kurt said, waving toward the television.

Rachel couldn't help laughing at the memory. She'd lost count of how many times Kurt had complained about them being in the floor after stubbing his toe on one of them. Or worse. Not long after Finn had begun staying with them, she had awoken to a loud crash coming from the living room. When she had run in there, she found that Kurt had tripped over the gaming system on the way to the bathroom and had taken the television with him.

"Are you okay with sleeping on the couch?" Rachel asked. "You can always take the bed if you would like."

"Maybe now that Finn is gone, you can turn my old room back into an actual bedroom," Kurt remarked.

"The thought has crossed my mind," Rachel said.

She wasn't sure she would have ever called it an actual bedroom—more of a closet, really—but now that Finn's things were gone, she had thought about turning it into a guest room rather than using it for storage. At least when her fathers came, she could have an actual bed rather than sleeping on the couch. And now that Kurt seemed to keep surprising her with these visits, maybe she would do it sooner rather than later.

"You know, your old bed is still in there, propped up against the wall," Rachel said. "If you would like to help, we could remove all the boxes and give you a proper bed tonight."

"Tomorrow," Kurt said, sitting down, and patting the couch cushion next to him. "Tonight, we're both going to sit right here and watch movies until we fall asleep."

Rachel smiled. "Do you want to make the popcorn or order the pizza?"

"I'll make the popcorn," Kurt replied.

"Then I guess I'll order the pizza," Rachel said, her smile growing.

* * *

"I'll get it," Rachel called to Kurt as she dried her hands off on a towel.

Rachel set the towel down on the island and walked to the door, hoping it was the Chinese food they had ordered and not some solicitor. She had intended on cooking that day, wanting to make a special dinner for Kurt, but they were both too tired. Since it was her one day off, they had been walking around most of the day, going to museums, visiting NYADA, and reminiscing about how much had changed in the past five years.

"Make sure they brought the good soy sauce, and if they didn't, dock their tip!" Kurt said from the living room.

Rachel laughed lightly and shook her head as she looked over her shoulder while opening the door. When she turned around to greet the delivery man, though, she found herself face to face with Quinn rather than someone bearing Chinese takeout.

"Quinn, hi," Rachel said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"You can't be the only one to just drop by?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow.

She hadn't spoken to Quinn in a few days, so she hadn't had the chance to tell her that Kurt was in town. They often went days between seeing or speaking to each other, though, so she hadn't thought much about it. She certainly hadn't expected Quinn to just drop by, but she guessed she should have thought of the possibility now that Quinn had been to her apartment and knew where she lived. After all, Rachel did it on a regular basis, never calling, and just showing up whenever she had a particular need.

"No," Rachel replied. "I-I just—"

"Hello, Quinn."

"Kurt's here," Rachel needlessly said.

"Hi, Kurt," Quinn said, glancing at him before looking at Rachel again. "You didn't tell me he was coming."

"I didn't know," Rachel replied. "He surprised me last night."

Quinn nodded, glancing at Kurt once again. "I should go."

"So soon?" Kurt asked. "Don't leave on my account. We're just waiting on our dinner to get here and then we were going to start a movie. I'm sure Rachel wouldn't mind if you were to join us."

Rachel clenched her teeth in annoyance but quickly turned it into a tight smile as she looked over her shoulder at Kurt. He, too, had a fake, overly cheery smile on his face that Rachel knew all too well.

"That sounds like a great idea," Quinn said with a smile.

Rachel wasn't surprised; she knew Kurt, but she also knew Quinn. The blonde never backed down from a challenge, which is exactly what Kurt was doing by inviting her to stay. He knew it would make Quinn uncomfortable, but that was what Kurt did when he didn't particularly like someone.

Kurt's smile fell slightly, clearly disappointed that his little trick hadn't worked, and then he turned and went back to the couch. Sighing, Rachel stepped to the side, holding the door open for Quinn, who narrowed her eyes at Kurt's back.

"You don't have to stay, you know," Rachel quietly said.

Quinn cocked her eyebrow but otherwise ignored Rachel's comment as she walked into the apartment.

"Kurt knows," Rachel whispered to Quinn. "He knows everything that happened during high school. I told him while we were in Lima, before we went to the reunion. I was tired of having no one to talk to about it, and I needed to get everything out before I went back into that school." Rachel paused for a moment. "He also knows about our current situation."

She expected Quinn to show some kind of emotion, but her face was unreadable. She knew Quinn was out in New York, but she doubted anyone back home knew. It certainly would have been something Rachel would have heard if it was common knowledge. Considering how worried Quinn had been all throughout high school, she had expected some kind of reaction to finding out one of her old classmates had been told about their former relationship. And not just anyone, but the biggest gossip to ever come out of McKinley High.

"That was over three months ago," Quinn finally said.

"Yes," Rachel replied with a frown as she closed the door she was still holding open.

"How has he managed not to tell anyone for three months?" Quinn asked, glancing over Rachel's shoulder. "How did _he_ even last three seconds?"

Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "Because he's my best friend and I asked him not to tell anyone."

"For my sake or for yours?" Quinn asked.

Rachel opened and closed her mouth a few times before saying, "Both. I didn't want Finn to feel like I had been lying to him during our whole relationship, and, well, I promised you I would never tell anyone, didn't I? I may have lied a little since I did finally tell Kurt, but I trusted him not to tell anyone."

"You know I don't care anymore, right?" Quinn asked. "I'm not exactly going to make some big announcement, but if people find out, it wouldn't be the end of the world."

"You used to think it would be," Rachel remarked.

"That's because I was trying to survive high school with a roof over my head and trying to make sure I had a future to look forward to," Quinn replied.

Rachel and Quinn stared at each other for a few seconds before Kurt called out, "Are you two going to join me?"

"In a moment," Rachel said.

"Okay, but if you don't get in here soon, I'm going to pick the movie," Kurt replied.

"You don't have to stay, Quinn," Rachel said, looking at her again.

"Is that your subtle way of asking me to leave?" Quinn asked.

"No, I just know how Kurt can be," Rachel replied. "You can stay if you want, but I know Kurt will try to make us both as uncomfortable as possible."

Quinn sighed and then nodded after a moment. "I should go."

"He's going to be here all week, but I may come over one night," Rachel said as Quinn began to turn. "If that's alright with you."

"I guess I'll see you then," Quinn replied.

* * *

Rachel gripped the sheet and bit her lip to keep from screaming out as Quinn's tongue rolled over her clit. When one of Quinn's fingers entered her, though, she could no longer stop herself. She let out a loan moan, holding onto the sheets for dear life as her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest, and a few moments later, the orgasm swept over her. Quinn's movements slowed to a stop, and she sat up, looking at Rachel as she slowly pulled her finger out of her.

"Why do you do that?" Quinn softly asked as she crawled up Rachel's body.

"Do what?" Rachel asked.

"Hold back," Quinn said.

"Who says I am?" Rachel asked.

"Rachel, you are a lot of things, but you're not a quiet person," Quinn said against her lips before bringing them together.

Rachel let out a slight moan, and she couldn't help thinking of the first time she had tasted herself on Quinn's lips. She thought it should have repulsed her, but it actually did the opposite. It turned her on even more knowing where Quinn's mouth had been and what she had been doing to her.

"I wouldn't want to disturb your neighbors," Rachel replied when Quinn pulled away.

"Fuck my neighbors," Quinn said.

Rachel smiled. "I don't think I've ever heard you use that kind of language before."

"Hang around more often and you might," Quinn said, leaning down, and running her lips along Rachel's neck.

Rachel moaned again when Quinn began sucking at a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, but a few seconds later, she gently pushed Quinn away. "I really need to go, Quinn."

Quinn sighed as she removed her lips from Rachel's neck and sat back.

"Don't give me that look," Rachel said, throwing her legs over the side of the bed, and picking up her underwear from the floor. "We were up half the night, and I should have been out of this bed an hour ago."

"Are you really complaining?" Quinn asked.

"Not at all," Rachel replied. "If there's one thing we were always good at, it was this."

"We didn't do so bad at other things," Quinn said.

"Yes, you were also pretty good at hurting me," Rachel replied as she slipped her bra onto her shoulders.

"Are you ever going to stop doing that?" Quinn asked.

Rachel ignored the question as she pulled her dress up, glancing over her shoulder. "Can you zip me?"

She looked over her shoulder again when she didn't hear Quinn moving, and the blonde hesitated for another moment before scooting across the bed.

"Are you going to come tonight?" Quinn asked, zipping Rachel's dress.

"No," Rachel replied. "I don't think Kurt would appreciate it if I ditch him again. He's only going to be here a few more days, after all."

"He's leaving Friday, right?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, Friday evening," Rachel said.

"Does that mean you're free Saturday?" Quinn asked.

"Why?" Rachel asked back. "What do you have in mind?"

"I thought maybe we could meet for lunch," Quinn said.

"Actually, Stephanie asked me to meet her for lunch and to go shopping with her that day," Rachel replied.

Quinn sighed. "Okay."

"Sorry," Rachel replied, turning around, and quickly kissing Quinn's cheek. "Maybe another time."

* * *

"Look what the cat dragged in," Kurt said the moment Rachel walked through the door.

"Very funny," Rachel replied, rolling her eyes as she closed the front door.

"I never thought I would see you taking the walk of shame," Kurt remarked. "Especially when you're coming from Quinn Fabray's apartment."

She ignored Kurt as she walked to the coffee maker and grabbed a mug, pouring herself a cup of coffee. Kurt was sitting at the island and she could feel his eyes on her back, so she deliberately took her time putting a teaspoon of sugar in coffee and slowly stirred it before washing off the spoon and sticking it in the dish drainer.

"Did you have fun?" Kurt asked.

"It was quite enjoyable, yes," Rachel said as she turned around.

"Gross," Kurt asked, scrunching his face up.

"It's just sex, Kurt," Rachel said.

"And that's the problem," Kurt replied.

"I'm an adult, Kurt," Rachel stated. "I'm allowed to have sex if I want to, and I'm not going to let you judge me for it."

"I'm not judging you," Kurt replied. "I don't care who people sleep with or how many. I just know you, and I didn't think you were the type to have sex with someone you're not even in a relationship with. I know how long it took you to sleep with Finn and you said you waited a while with Quinn, too. You're always cautious when it comes to sleeping with someone because you've always wanted it to mean something. 'It's just sex' isn't something you would usually say."

"Things change," Rachel said. "I was young then."

"So now that you're older you think it's right that you're sleeping with Quinn when you're still crying over Finn?" Kurt asked.

"I thought you said you weren't judging me," Rachel said, picking up her mug, and walking toward the living room.

"I'm just trying to understand what's going on with you right now," Kurt said, following her into the other room. "This isn't like you, Rachel. And as your best friend, I think I'm allowed to be worried about you and point out when you're doing something so uncharacteristic. I don't care if you're sleeping with someone, but I do care if you're doing it for the wrong reasons."

"And who gets to decide what reasons are wrong or right?" Rachel asked. "Are you the one who gets to decide that? Because it's my life, Kurt, not yours."

"I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life," Kurt replied. "I just don't want you to do something you're going to regret later."

"A few months ago you were accusing me of still being love with Quinn and now you're judging me for sleeping with her," Rachel said, setting her mug on the coffee table, and turning toward Kurt.

Kurt held his hands up. "Look, I don't want to fight about this. I'm just worried about you. That's all."

"Well, don't be," Rachel replied. "I'm fine."

"Rachel—"

"What?" she interrupted. "What do you want me to say?"

She knew everything was screwed up, but she was doing the best she knew how to do. She wasn't over her broken engagement or what happened in high school, but she was trying to move on from all of that. She was still mourning for the life she thought she was going to have, and she was still angry that everything had gotten so turned around. But life went on, and she was just doing her best to make it through it all.

"I'm not trying to attack you, so can you please be a little less defensive?" Kurt asked. "I love you and I'm only concerned that you're going to get hurt. That's all I was trying to say."

"I think you were trying to say a lot more than that," Rachel remarked.

"Then I'm sorry if it seemed that way." Kurt replied. "Can we just go out to brunch and forget all this? You say you're fine, so I'll just drop it, okay? But if you ever decide you're not fine, you know I'm here."

"I'm going to take a shower first, but yes, we can go to brunch," Rachel said.

"I'll be right here," Kurt said as he sat down.

Rachel turned and ran her hand through her hair with a sigh. She loved Kurt and he was her best friend in the world, but he could be exhausting sometimes, and she really didn't have the energy to argue with him at the moment. She knew it wouldn't be the end of the conversation forever, but she was relieved he had dropped it for the time being.

* * *

"I think we're the only two people here under sixty," Kurt said as he looked around the restaurant.

Rachel laughed as she shook her head. "You get used to it."

It was an exaggeration, but she understood his point. It was a little early for them to be having dinner, but it was his last night there and they wanted to have a nice dinner together. And since Rachel had a show that evening and Kurt's flight was leaving a little after eight, they were forced to have dinner before her show.

"So," Kurt said after a few moments of silence.

Things had been a little weird between them since their argument Wednesday morning. They suddenly seemed to have less to talk about, and she knew it was because Kurt was afraid of saying the wrong thing and setting her off again. She regretted that they had wasted nearly two days being awkward around one another when he was there for such a short period of time, but she didn't regret saying what she had. It _was_ her life, and she didn't need him judging her for it even if he was her best friend and she knew it was only done out of concern for her well-being.

"Let's just enjoy dinner, Kurt," Rachel said.

Kurt nodded. "I've been wanting to ask—"

"What is it?" Rachel asked when Kurt seemed hesitant.

"How does Quinn feel about all of this?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed. "Are we really going to talk about _this_ again?"

"I'm just asking how she feels," Kurt said.

"I—" Rachel closed her mouth and shrugged her shoulder. "We haven't really talked about it."

"Really?" Kurt asked.

"I mean, we agreed to get to know each other now, but other than that, we haven't really discussed it," Rachel replied.

"Okay, Kurt said, picking up his glass of wine, and taking a sip.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing," Kurt replied, shaking his head. "I just said okay."

"Not everything needs to be talked to death, Kurt," Rachel said. "Two people can simply enjoy themselves without making a big deal about it. And it isn't as if either of us is in a relationship; we're both free to do as we wish."

"I was just asking how Quinn felt," Kurt replied. "That's all. Really. If you say she's okay with it, I believe you. It isn't like I know her very well to think otherwise. Until the reunion I hadn't seen her since graduation. Speaking of which, do you know why she just disappeared after high school? I got the impression no one had seen or even spoken to her since graduation. Not even her two best friends."

"I don't know," Rachel said, shrugging her shoulders. "Maybe she was just as happy to get out of Ohio as the rest of us. Not everyone remains in contact with the people they went to high school with, you know? Besides, she wasn't as close to Brittany and Santana as most people seemed to think. It was more of a superficial friendship unless things changed after we broke up."

Kurt hummed, furrowing his brows.

"She told me she didn't trust either of them," Rachel added. "She knew they would both be willing to stab her in the back if it meant getting her position on the Cheerios. Santana more so than Brittany, but she knew if she told Brittany anything, she would immediately tell Santana. Their friendship was more of a 'keep your enemies close' kind of thing."

"And here I always thought those three were friends," Kurt remarked.

"Most people did," Rachel replied. "I think the only people to know otherwise were them."

"And you," Kurt said.

"And me," Rachel agreed.

Kurt shook his head. "You know, you really could have hurt Quinn back then if you wanted to. You could have destroyed everything for her."

"I know," Rachel quietly said.

"So, why didn't you?" Kurt asked.

"Because I still loved her," Rachel replied. "I would never have done that to her even if I did have a broken heart."

"You're a bigger person than most people, then," Kurt commented. "Quinn's lucky."

"Portobello ravioli."

Rachel looked up. "Mine."

As the waiter put the plate down in front of her, Rachel thanked him, but she was thanking him more for his timing than anything. She didn't want to get in another argument with Kurt, especially on his last evening there, so she was thankful for the arrival of the food, hoping it would distract Kurt from his current line of questioning.


	23. When One of Us Puts Down the Gun

**Chapter 23 – Peace Will Come When One of Us Puts Down the Gun**

Rachel ran her hand across the mirror, wiping off some of the condensation, and then looked down with a soft sigh. The bags under her eyes were noticeable, and even though she had slept later than usual, she still felt tired. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence lately, though; she always seemed to be exhausted. Even when she didn't go over to Quinn's after leaving the theater, she still couldn't seem to get a decent night's sleep.

Performing eight shows are week had always been physically demanding, but it seemed to be taking more of a toll on her in the past month. It was what she loved to do and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world, but she sometimes thought it would be nice to have more than one day off a week.

At least before she had a fairly regular and predictable life at home even if her life at work wasn't so typical, but now there was no routine. She had no real reason to be up at a certain time or to do anything other than it needed to be done. Without Finn living there, she no longer felt the need to try to have the perfect home life. She wasn't as concerned about keeping the place spotless or trying to cook a nice meal, which she'd always enjoyed doing, but now that it was just her, it seemed pointless to spend the time and energy to do it.

Rachel wrapped her towel tighter around her body and walked into her bedroom, drying her hair with another towel as she went. Sighing, she looked at the clock on her nightstand, picking her phone up as she sat down on the bed. She was supposed to meet Quinn for lunch in an hour, but she was tired and wasn't really in the mood to go. So, Rachel scrolled through her contacts until she found Quinn's name, and then quickly hit the call button and listened to it ring, hoping Quinn would answer.

It eventually went to voicemail, though, causing Rachel to groan. She decided to wait a few minutes and try again, but just as she went to call again, her phone began vibrating, and she looked to see that it was Quinn calling her back.

"I was just about to try you again," Rachel said in lieu of a greeting.

"Hey," Quinn replied. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine," Rachel said. "I was just calling to see if it would be okay if we reschedule lunch."

She knew it was short notice, but it wasn't as if Quinn would already be on her way or anything considering she only had so much time for lunch. And judging by the lack of noise in the background, she was right.

"Quinn?" Rachel said after few seconds, when the other woman hadn't responded.

"Yeah, we can reschedule," Quinn replied.

"Great, thanks," Rachel said. "I may see you tonight, though."

"I should get back to work," Quinn replied.

"Of course," Rachel said. "Goodbye, Quinn."

Quinn ended the call and Rachel laid back on the bed with a sigh, not caring that her hair was going to get it wet. She needed to change the sheets anyway; she'd been meaning to pull them off the bed all week so she could do a load of laundry. Like with a lot of other things, though, she just couldn't seem to find the motivation to get up and do it.

* * *

"Hi," Rachel said, giving Quinn a slight smile when she opened the door.

Quinn opened the door wider and turned around, walking away, leaving the door open behind her. Rachel frowned slightly, but walked into the apartment, nevertheless. She closed the door and then followed Quinn into the living room, where she was grabbing a book from the end table, and sitting down on the couch, her legs stretched across it.

"Is that for work?" Rachel asked.

"No," Quinn replied.

"Does that mean it can wait until tomorrow?" Rachel asked, plopping down at the opposite end of the couch, straddling Quinn's calves.

Quinn looked up at her, but after a moment, she looked down and said, "I'm almost done with this chapter."

"You know, you should really wear those more often," Rachel commented as she slowly crawled up Quinn's body. "The glasses, I mean. You look really sexy in them."

Quinn glanced at her, and Rachel put her hand on Quinn's book, pulling it out of her hands. Quinn made a slight noise of protest but didn't stop her, so Rachel put the book on the coffee table, being sure not to lose Quinn's place. When she turned back to the blonde, she ran her fingers through Quinn's hair, cupping the back of her head, bringing their lips together. After a few moments, though, Quinn put her hands on Rachel's shoulders, pushing her back.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"I'm tired," Quinn stated.

"We can make it quick," Rachel replied, leaning toward Quinn.

"Rachel," Quinn said, moving her head.

"What?" Rachel asked, sitting back.

Quinn sighed and quickly moved her legs, nearly knocking Rachel off the couch. "I don't want to do this tonight."

"Okay," Rachel said, frowning. "If you don't feel like having sex with me, all you had to do was say so. I just haven't seen you in a few days, and I thought—"

"And whose fault is that?" Quinn asked, sounding exasperated. "What you mean is we haven't sex in a few days, so you thought you would come over tonight."

"Is this because I cancelled our lunch today?" Rachel asked.

"No, this is because today is the third time you've cancelled," Quinn replied.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, standing up.

"I don't think you are," Quinn said, shaking her head. "I'm tired of doing this, Rachel. I'm tired of you using me because you're lonely. You only ever come over here when you want to have sex. We said we were going to get to know each other, but every time I try, you change the subject or you cancel when we're supposed to meet."

"I didn't know you opposed to us sleeping together," Rachel replied, looking away.

"I don't," Quinn said. "I just don't want that to be it. You're not even trying to get to know who I am now or let me know you. You come here at night and we have sex, and if I'm lucky, you don't leave as soon as it's over. Otherwise, you leave the moment you wake up."

"What do you want, Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"You already know the answer to that," Quinn replied.

"I didn't hear you objecting before," Rachel said, crossing her arms over her chest, and looking down at Quinn.

"That's because I'm afraid to say anything to you," Quinn replied. "I don't want you to stop coming over, but I also don't want that to be all this is. I hoped you would eventually start talking to me, but you're not going to, are you? We've been doing this for a month and a half, and nothing has changed from that first night you came over."

"What do you want me to say?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing," Quinn replied. "I don't want you to say anything."

Quinn looked away and Rachel continued staring down at her. She had no idea where all this had come from, and she didn't know what Quinn wanted from her. She thought everything had been going along just fine; it wasn't as if Quinn had given her any indication that she wasn't happy with their current arrangement.

"I should go," Rachel said after a minute or two of silence.

"Yeah," Quinn replied, leaning forward, and picking her book up from the coffee table.

Without another word, Rachel turned on her heel and walked over to the door, resisting the urge to glance back. As she walked out the apartment, she closed the door behind her rather forcefully, but she didn't care. She was angry, and with every step she took, she seemed to get even angrier. By the time she walked out of Quinn's apartment building, she thought about going back up and letting out some of the things she was thinking, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. So, after pacing in front of the building for a few minutes, she finally hailed a taxi to take her home.

* * *

The next day, Rachel found herself in front of Quinn's door once again. She wasn't even sure what all she was going to say, but she knew she needed to say something. Quinn hadn't called or sent her any texts all day—not that she had expected her to—and Rachel hadn't exactly tried to get a hold of her, either. She was suddenly tired of holding everything in, though, and as she was leaving the theater, she couldn't seem to make herself go home. Instead, she grabbed a taxi without even really thinking about it, and before she had even thought about what she was doing, she was giving the driver the address to Quinn's apartment.

After standing there for several minutes, Rachel finally knocked on the door, and when Quinn opened it, she didn't wait for an invitation. She breezed past Quinn without even looking at her and marched toward the living room. A few moments later, she heard Quinn close the door, and she turned around to look at the blonde.

"Just so you know, I'm not here for sex," Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Why are you here, then?" Quinn asked as she stopped a few feet in front of her.

"Because I—"

After a moment, Rachel closed her mouth with a huff, and Quinn crossed her arms over her chest, raising her eyebrow at Rachel.

"Look, Rachel—"

"No," Rachel interrupted, pointing at her as she took a step forward. "I need to say this. I-I may be using you for sex and because I'm lonely, but that's only because I don't know how to forgive you. I don't know how to get over the fact that you didn't care enough about me when I loved you more than I could have described. You made everything so hard for me, but I still loved you. I just wanted to be able to talk to someone, but you wouldn't allow me that!

"I couldn't talk to my best friend or even my therapist because you made me promise to never tell anyone! Do you know how that made me feel? I felt so alone and isolated from everyone, even my own fathers, but I did it because I couldn't imagine not being with you. Being with you meant everything in the world to me. Things were far from perfect, but you were everything to me. I want us to share our lives together, but we couldn't. You wouldn't even let us pretend to be friends with each other, and the only time we ever went out was when we went out of town, where no one would ever see us together.

"I didn't need you to go to prom with me even if I would have loved that more than anything. I just couldn't keep having my whole life be a lie and I needed to know that you cared. But you didn't. You didn't love me enough to fight for me, and then you spent the rest of high school pretending as if I didn't exist. As if that year and a half we were together meant nothing to you. Do you know how that felt? Do you know how any of it felt for me?

"I was so happy when I was with you, when I actually got to spend time with you, but that just made me even more miserable when we weren't together. Because I knew how happy I could be if you would just concede some of your rules. But you wouldn't budge. You wouldn't give me anything that I needed. And then, when I said I couldn't do it anymore, it just slipped out, but then you walked away from me without ever looking back. I don't even know how long I was on the choir room floor crying whenever Finn came in and found me. And that's all I did for months. I cried over you, and while I was crying over you, you moved on to dating Sam, and you went on like everything was perfect while I felt like my whole world was over.

"And then when I had finally moved on, when I was finally happy, you had to go to the reunion. Why couldn't you have continued to pretend as if I didn't exist? Why did you have to finally talk me? I would have given anything for you to do that after we broke up, but you choose to do it when you had no right to. So, yes, maybe I'm using you now because Finn left and I'm lonely, but you've done so much worse to me. You broke my heart, Quinn, and I don't know how to forgive you for that. I wish I did, but I don't."

Rachel knew she had tears streaming down her cheeks, but she didn't bother wiping them away. She also didn't bother waiting for Quinn to respond, walking past her without another word, and out of the apartment.

* * *

When Rachel opened her door the next morning, she found Quinn standing on the other side. They both just stood there looking at each for a few moments before Rachel looked down and opened the door a little wider.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel quietly asked.

After what happened the night before, she'd wondered if she would ever hear from Quinn again. She certainly hadn't expected her to stop by less than twelve hours later. She hadn't intended on yelling at Quinn the way she had, but everything had just come spilling out of her, and she'd been unable to stop.

"If you're here to apologize—"

"I'm not," Quinn said as she turned around.

"Okay," Rachel said, walking forward, her hands clasped in front of her. "Then why?"

"Because you come over and unleash all of that on me, and then you just walked out," Quinn replied. "Because you're not being fair! You're so mad at me for what I did, but you seem to forget you're the one who broke up with me."

"I haven't forgotten," Rachel replied.

"You're not the only one who had a broken heart, you know?" Quinn said. "Just because I'm better at hiding it than you are, it doesn't mean I wasn't dying inside too."

"Then why did you just walk away from me?" Rachel asked.

"Because I thought you knew what you meant to me, and then you broke up with me," Quinn softly replied. "No warning, no discussion. You just broke up with me. You're so angry at me, but I have every right to be just as angry with you. You say that I didn't love you enough to fight for you, but you didn't love me enough to wait for me. I know it wasn't easy for you, but it wasn't easy for me, either. I was only sixteen and I was terrified. Falling in love with you was the last thing I needed then."

Rachel looked down, wiping away the tears that were falling.

"If my parents had ever found out about us, I wouldn't have had a home. They wouldn't have paid for me to go to college. Or worse. Knowing my father, he probably would have sent me away just to keep me from ever seeing you again. I know you think I was always worried about it for nothing, but you don't know my parents. I finally came out to my father a year ago. He yelled at me and told me what an embarrassment I was and that he never wanted to see me again. I believe the words 'sinner' and 'abomination' were also used quite a bit. He forbid my mom from ever talking to me again, too."

"I thought you saw your mom when you went to Lima," Rachel said, frowning.

"I did," Quinn replied. "They got divorced over it. I had told her the year before. She was upset and still won't acknowledge it, but at least she stood up to him for once. It was just the final straw, though; she caught him cheating on her twice in the last few years that they were married. If it had been back when we were in high school, she would have went along with whatever he wanted.

"You say how hard it was for you, but at least you didn't have to be afraid every day that someone would find out about us. If one person knew, it would have been all over the school within an hour. My parents would have known by the end of the day, and I would have had no home and no future. You're not the only one who wanted to get out of Lima, and I needed them to do that. You were everything to me, too. You were the only person who cared about me and supported me, and then you took that away. I didn't fight for you because you broke my heart when I realized you didn't love me enough to wait for me."

"You just walked away," Rachel stated.

"Yeah, right to the Cheerios locker room, where I cried for the rest of the day," Quinn replied. "I was hurting just as much as you were, but I couldn't let anyone know because they would have asked me why. I had to pretend like everything was fine when I didn't even want to get out of bed in the morning. Do you know how much it killed me to see you with Finn? To listen to you singing duets in the choir room with him when I could never do that? You're not the only one who felt lonely and isolated and just wished they could have had someone to talk to. I was dying inside and I couldn't tell anyone."

Rachel swallowed thickly as Quinn wiped her own tears away.

"I just thought you should know," Quinn said, pausing for a moment. "You're not the only one who's been hurting this whole time, Rachel."

As Quinn began to walk away, Rachel wanted to call out and tell her to stop, but she didn't. She couldn't seem to speak or move as Quinn walked out the door and closed it behind her with a soft click.

* * *

Rachel had been staring at her phone for over an hour. Every few minutes she would put it down only to pick it back up a moment later. Sometimes she would turn it on and stare at her home screen for a bit. Once or twice she even made it to her contact list just to put it down again and start the process all over. She never though it would be so difficult to make a phone call, but after the past few days, she was nervous about calling Quinn.

She didn't even know if Quinn would answer after everything that had happened. They hadn't spoken since Quinn walked out of the apartment, leaving Rachel rooted to the spot for another ten minutes before she finally moved. She knew she should have stopped her from walking away. That she should have said something—anything—but she had been at a loss for words. She'd had no idea Quinn had been just as devastated as she was after their breakup. She'd always known Quinn was great at pretending, but she'd been an even better actress than Rachel had thought.

Rachel's stomach felt like it was in knots as she picked her phone up again and put in her password. She knew she had to do it; she had to call Quinn and she couldn't put it off any longer. They needed to talk—if Quinn would even talk to her now—and she needed to be the one to call. So when Rachel finally made it to Quinn's name, she took a deep breath and hit the call button.

Her heart rate seemed to pick up the moment it began to ring. Part of her wished Quinn wouldn't pick up, but the other part of her didn't want to have to go through all of this again. The phone seemed to ring for an impossibly long time before it finally stopped and there was silence on the other end.

"Quinn?" Rachel quietly said.

"Hey," Quinn replied after another few moments of silence.

"I, um, I-I didn't know if you were going to answer," Rachel said.

She wished her voice sounded a little stronger, a little more sure of herself. She hated sounding and feeling like a nervous schoolgirl rather than the confident woman she liked to think she was, and she hated that Quinn was the one who still somehow managed to do that to her.

"How are you?" Rachel asked when Quinn didn't reply.

"Just say whatever you called to say," Quinn said, sounding more tired than angry.

Rachel sighed to herself and laid her head back, looking up at the ceiling. "We're never going to be able to get past everything, are we?"

"That's because you're not willing to try," Quinn replied. "You're the one who's still angry, Rachel. I don't blame you for what happened; we both made mistakes. I just wish you would stop blaming me for everything. Every time we're together, you always make some passive aggressive comment about what happened. I know you're still angry at me, but it's not fair."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to be angry. I just don't know how to stop feeling like this. I didn't even know this was all still inside of me until the reunion came up. I thought I had moved on. I was engaged, and things weren't perfect, but I was happy."

"I didn't intend on screwing up your life, you know?" Quinn replied. "Not then and not now. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Why?" Rachel asked.

Quinn sighed and then said, "Because I missed you."

"I—" Rachel closed her eyes.

"It's okay," Quinn said. "You don't have to say anything."

"What are we going to do?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know, but we can't keep doing this," Quinn stated.

"I know," Rachel replied.

"I can't keep letting you fight me," Quinn said. "You have no idea what it feels like every time you make one of those comments."

"I'm sorry, Quinn," Rachel replied, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "I know I've been selfish. I had no idea you were hurting, too."

"Did you really think I didn't love you?" Quinn softly asked.

"No, I didn't," Rachel replied. "That's why it hurt so much." She wiped away another tear. "I thought you didn't care."

"Then maybe you've never known me," Quinn said, her voice cracking slightly.

"Where do we go from here?" Rachel asked as she put her head in her hand.

"That's up to you," Quinn replied.

"I don't know what to do." Rachel admitted.

"Well, if you ever figure it out, you know where to find me," Quinn said.

Rachel closed her eyes and nodded, pausing a moment before saying, "Goodbye, Quinn."

"Goodbye," Quinn replied.

Rachel slowly lowered the phone and looked down at Quinn's name on the screen. If it was possible, she felt even worse than before calling Quinn. She'd hoped talking to her would help, but she felt just as lost as ever. She knew Quinn was right—they couldn't keep going on the way they had been—but she didn't know how to just forget everything that had happened. Not after being so hurt and angry for so long. As much as she wished she could, she didn't know if it was possible. And if it was possible, was she willing to risk getting hurt again?


	24. Nervous

**Nekary: Unfortunately. It was very boring, so I kinda wish I couldn't.**

**Chapter 24 – Nervous**

"Okay, are you ever going to say what the hell's bothering you?" Stephanie asked, sitting down in the seat next to Rachel.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"You know exactly what I mean." Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Is it still about Finn?"

Rachel sighed and then shook her head. "No, it's not about Finn. It's about Quinn, actually."

"Quinn?" Stephanie asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "We've been—"

Rachel felt herself blushing slightly, which seemed to be all the answer Stephanie needed. Her eyebrows rose slightly and she nodded, getting an amused smile on her face.

"The first time it happened, I told her it was a mistake," Rachel continued. "I went over to her apartment after Finn broke up with me. I blamed her for what happened and I decided to take everything out on her. The next thing I knew, I was kissing her. And I didn't stop." Rachel cleared her throat. "Like I said, I told her it was a mistake, but then it happened again. We eventually agreed to get to know each other since high school was a long time ago and since we keep seeming to find ourselves in intimate situations."

"Is this why you've been so tired lately?" Stephanie asked.

"Partly," Rachel admitted, trying not to blush again. "Although, I also haven't been sleeping well even on the nights that I don't go over to Quinn's apartment."

Stephanie nodded. "That also explains why you won't go out with us and why you leave here in such a hurry."

"I thought everything was going okay," Rachel began.

"I'm guessing it wasn't, though," Stephanie replied.

"No," Rachel said. "Quinn felt like I was just using her because I was lonely. Which I guess I sort of was, and I wasn't trying to get to know her like we agreed. Friday we were supposed to meet for lunch, but I cancelled on her once again. I went over to her apartment that night then, but—" Rachel took a deep breath and slowly released it. "I went back the next day and I ended up letting everything out. I yelled at her and told her how much she hurt me. I blamed her for everything and then I walked away."

"Have you talked to her since then?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel nodded. "She came over the next day. I always thought she didn't fight for me because she didn't love me, but she didn't fight for me because I hurt her when I wasn't willing to wait for her. I thought she didn't care, but it seems as if she was just better at hiding it than I was."

Rachel shook her head and looked down. She was surprised that no tears were falling, but figured maybe she had finally run out of them. She'd cried so much in the past few months that maybe she just didn't have any tears left to cry.

"I don't know what I should do," Rachel continued. "I fell so in love with her. You have no idea. What if that happens again? What if I can get past everything and I fall that deeply in love with her again? And what if it doesn't work out again?"

"But what if it does?" Stephanie asked.

"With my track record, the chances of that don't seem very high," Rachel replied. "I just don't want to get my heart broken again. I don't know if I could make it through it again. What if we try and I just can't move on? What if I can't get past what happened and I just hurt us both even more?"

"Can I ask you something?" Stephanie asked

"Of course," Rachel replied.

"Do you think you'll ever be able to love anyone as much as you loved her?" Stephanie asked.

"No," Rachel said, looking down.

She didn't even need to think about the answer. She knew if she walked away from Quinn that she would eventually fall in love again, but she also knew it would never feel the same. She'd loved Finn, but she'd never been as truly and completely in love with him as she had been Quinn. Everyone else would also feel second best.

"Then I guess you have to figure out what's more important," Stephanie said. "Keeping your heart safe but always wondering what could have happened or the chance of being happy but knowing that happiness may end again."

* * *

Rachel's palms were actually sweating as she walked down the hallway to Quinn's apartment. She couldn't remember the last time she was quite that nervous. It was strange, really; she hadn't even been _that_ nervous when she was preparing to tell Finn that she thought they should take a break.

Several times she had started to tell the taxi driver to turn the cab around, but she had stopped herself. She had always prided herself on her confidence that never seemed to falter even when everyone else around her was tearing her down, but it was failing her at the moment. High school may be over, but she still felt like the unpopular girl getting ready to go ask the most popular girl in school to the prom.

She slowly walked past the other apartments until she was standing in front of 5F. She hoped she wasn't about to wake Quinn up, and as she quickly knocked, she suddenly wondered if she should have done this another time. It was difficult when they were on completely different schedules, though. Quinn got home from work around the time Rachel was usually leaving to go to the theater, making it difficult to see her unless they met while Quinn was on her lunch break or after Rachel's show was over.

Rachel took a deep breath as she waited for the door to open. It had been three days since she last spoke with Quinn on the phone, but it had felt much longer. It had been all Rachel could seem to think about. She knew she needed to make a decision once and for all. She either needed to end things permanently and allow them both to move on with their lives or she needed to work on getting over the past. Either way, she needed to move on from her current state of limbo.

When the door finally opened, Rachel breathed a slight sigh of relief. Quinn was in a tank top and pair of plaid shorts, but she was wearing her glasses, so Rachel knew she had only interrupted her reading rather than waking her up.

"Is it okay if I come in?" Rachel asked.

Quinn looked apprehensive, but she eventually nodded, allowing Rachel to enter. Rachel glanced at Quinn as she walked past her, feeling even more nervous than on her way there. Quinn didn't exactly look happy to see her, making Rachel wonder what was going through her mind.

"Don't worry, I'm just here to talk," Rachel assured her as she turned around to face the blonde.

"You were just here to talk the last time, too," Quinn replied.

"You're right," Rachel said. "I guess I should have said that I'm not here to fight."

"So, why are you here?" Quinn asked.

Rachel clasped her hands together in front of her. "I came here to ask if you would like to go to dinner with me on Saturday night."

Quinn didn't immediately answer. She stood there looking at Rachel, who continued looking at Quinn even though she felt foolish and wanted to look away. Her heart was beating way too quickly in her chest as it felt like several minutes ticked by, though she knew it was probably only several seconds.

"Are you asking me on a date?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied.

Rachel's heart dropped when Quinn frowned and looked down with a slight shake of her head. Quinn had told her to let her know when she figured things out, but she guessed Quinn had changed her mind in the past few days.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, ducking her head. "I'll go."

"Wait," Quinn said, grabbing her hand before she could take two steps. "I'm just surprised. I figured you were here to tell me you never wanted to see me again." Quinn slowly let go of her. "Are you sure about this?"

"Not entirely," Rachel admitted. "But I want to try. I can't promise that I won't make any more mistakes or that I'm suddenly going to be forget that everything happened, but I've decided I would like to see what happens."

"Don't you have to work Saturday?" Quinn asked.

"I asked for the day off," Rachel replied. "I told them something important had come up and I needed the evening off." Rachel averted her eyes from Quinn's gaze. "You can say no."

"Yes," Quinn said.

"Yes?" Rachel asked, looking up at her.

Quinn nodded. "We can go to dinner on Saturday."

"I'll pick you up at six if that's alright," Rachel said. "And if you're okay with it, maybe we can do something after dinner?"

"Yeah," Quinn replied, nodding again.

"Okay," Rachel said, feeling relieved. "I'll see you on Saturday, then."

Rachel began walking to the door and Quinn followed, opening it for her as Rachel said, "I apologize for showing up so late."

"Don't worry about it," Quinn replied.

"Goodnight, Quinn," Rachel said, giving her a slight smile.

"Night," Quinn replied, smiling back at her.

* * *

Rachel looked at the time on the microwave as she threw her purse down on the island. It was after midnight and she'd told Kurt she would be on Skype by eleven-thirty. Stephanie had stopped her on the way out of the theater and she'd lost track of time while talking to her. She quickly walked into her bedroom and changed into something a little more comfortable before grabbing her laptop from the coffee table and settling down on the couch.

"I was wondering if you were mugged on your way home," Kurt said as soon as his face appeared on her screen. "I was beginning to think I should call the police."

"I'm sorry," Rachel replied. "I was talking to Stephanie after the show, so it took me a little longer to get home than I anticipated."

"So, are we watching another movie that's going to make me cry?" Kurt asked. "You know, I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Actually, I thought we could watch something a little different tonight," Rachel replied.

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "Okay, what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"I mean you've been depressed for the last month and a half, forcing me to watch sad movies, and now you suddenly don't want to," Kurt replied. "So don't play dumb with me, Rachel Berry. What happened?"

The last time they talked, she had told him what had happened over the weekend. He had refrained from commenting on any of it or trying to give her advice, just listening instead. She knew he had been trying to avoid another argument with her, but he really didn't need to say anything to know his opinion on the matter. Despite being the one to push her to examine her possible lingering feelings for Quinn, she knew he thought it was a terrible idea to get involved with her again.

"I stopped by her apartment last night, and—"

"Please don't get into the gory details," Kurt interrupted.

"We just talked, Kurt," Rachel replied. "I asked her out for Saturday."

She looked at the screen; Kurt's mouth was slightly open and he looked as if he was trying to choose his words carefully. She thought about taking pity on him and telling him to say whatever it was he wanted to say, but she remained silent. She still didn't appreciate his judgment of her while he was there, and she couldn't help feeling some satisfaction that he was now squirming, afraid he would say the wrong thing.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Kurt finally asked.

"Probably not, but I have to try," Rachel replied.

She wasn't naive; she knew things were likely to fall apart again. They had once before, so she had reason to think the result would be any different this time. And even though she was terrified she would get her heart broken again, she couldn't help wondering what if. She didn't know if she could live through another broken heart, but she also didn't know if she could live with the regret of not trying.

"I've obviously never gotten over Quinn," Rachel said. "After all these years, after spending so much time doing my best to forget about her, just thinking about going to the reunion and seeing her started bringing everything back. I spent so many years convincing myself that I no longer had feelings for Quinn that I was determined to believe it.

"I don't want you to think that I didn't love Finn, because I did. I still do. I hate that he's probably never going to speak to me again, because other than you, he was my best friend. I just don't know if I was ever _in_ love with him or if I just wanted so badly to believe that I was that I convinced myself I was. I never meant to hurt him; he deserved better than that." Rachel sighed. "I don't know how things with Quinn will work out, but I need to try, Kurt."

"I just don't want to see you hurt again," Kurt said, his brows slightly furrowed in concern. "I may not have known what was going on at the time, but anyone could see how much you were hurting. Just be careful, okay?"

"Believe me, that's the last thing I want," Rachel replied.

"Then, I guess there's nothing for me to say," Kurt said with a shrug. "Other than be careful and you know I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you, Kurt," Rachel replied, giving him a grateful smile.

"So, since we're not watching something that's going to make us both cry, what _are_ we watching?" Kurt asked.

"What do you think about 10 Things I Hate About You?" Rachel asked back.

"Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt?" Kurt asked. "Sign me up."

Rachel smiled. "I thought you may approve of it."

* * *

"How is your salmon?" Rachel asked, looking across the table at Quinn.

"It's good," Quinn replied. "Great actually."

Rachel nodded and gave a slight smile as she took a sip of wine. "I was a little apprehensive about coming since I've never been here myself, but a few of my coworkers have been raving about it."

Rachel set her glass down with a glance toward Quinn.

"Did you get a chance to go out this afternoon?" Rachel asked. "It was beautiful out today. This has always been my favorite time of the year, though. When the summer heat is gone, but you don't have to worry about pulling your coat out yet."

"I didn't go out, but I did open my window for a bit," Quinn said with a slight shrug.

"It's supposed to be nice tomorrow, too," Rachel commented, furrowing her brows when Quinn laughed. "What?"

"I was just wondering if we're going to talk about the Dodgers next," Quinn replied.

"The what?" Rachel asked, frowning even more.

"You've talked about the decor, the food, the weather—

"I didn't know there was anything wrong with those topics of conversation," Rachel interrupted.

"There isn't," Quinn replied. "I'm just trying to say that you don't have to be so nervous. I know we have a lot of history, but this doesn't have be so weird for us."

Rachel sighed and looked down. She wanted to tell Quinn that she wasn't nervous, but she was. It had been a long time since they had been on a date, and she wasn't entirely sure how to talk to Quinn anymore. They hadn't really done a lot of it over the past month and a half unless it involved Rachel yelling, and she wasn't really sure where to start.

"Do you realize this is the first time we've been on a date and didn't have to leave town to do it?" Rachel asked.

Quinn took a deep breath and then nodded. "I know."

"It feels weird," Rachel said.

"Being here with me or—"

"All of it," Rachel said. "I certainly never thought you and I would be on another date. Of course, a lot of things haven't turned out how I thought they would."

"That makes two of us," Quinn replied. "When I met you, the plan I had for my life kind of fell apart."

"Do you want me to apologize?" Rachel asked.

Quinn smiled and shook her head. "No. I'm glad that plan fell apart. If it wasn't for meeting you, I'm sure I would have stayed in Lima, gotten married to some boy I would never love, and I would have fallen into a career I hated. That's what the women in my family do, but then I met you and I realized there was more to life. I realized what being happy felt like, and after feeling that, I knew I wasn't going to be able to settle for that life that I always thought I would have."

"Oh," Rachel said, looking down again.

"Things turning out differently than you expect isn't always a bad thing," Quinn added. "And I didn't think we would ever be here again, either, but I'm glad we are. I just wish you seemed a little happier about it."

"I'm not—unhappy about it," Rachel quietly said. "I guess I'm just still getting used to the idea of all of this. A few months ago I was engaged to Finn and now I'm here with you, so you'll have to excuse me if I don't entirely know what I'm doing anymore." Rachel cleared her throat. "Not to mention that it's been a long time since I've been on a date with someone other than Finn, so I apologize if I've been a little strange this evening."

"You don't have to apologize," Quinn replied. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad."

Rachel nodded and they both fell silent.

"Do you remember our first date?" Rachel asked before taking a bite of her food.

"Our first _actual_ date or our first unofficial one?" Quinn asked back.

"Unofficial," Rachel said.

"How could I forget?" Quinn replied. "I brought movies over to your house and we ate popcorn and I spent most of the movie wondering if it would be okay if I held your hand."

"You did?" Rachel asked with a slight frown.

"Yeah," Quinn said, smiling. "I know I'd already kissed you more than once, but everything seemed more real that night. I'd just broken up with Finn and it was when I broke up with him that I realized the thing with you wasn't just some weird phase. I broke up with the most popular boy in school to be with you, and that night was the first time we had been alone together without him between us. I was a little terrified."

"You didn't show it," Rachel replied.

"That's because I had a lifetime of practice when it came to hiding my feelings," Quinn stated. "I'm working on it, though."

Rachel gave her a small smile. "I've noticed."

* * *

"So, what did Kurt say when you told him about this?" Quinn asked as she walked next to Rachel.

Rachel glanced at Quinn. "Not a lot."

Quinn's eyebrow rose. "I find that hard to believe."

"Really, he didn't," Rachel replied. "He was a little concerned, but I think he's rather afraid to say too much. I may have gotten a little angry with him while he was here for criticizing what I was doing."

"How much does he hate me?" Quinn asked.

"He doesn't hate you," Rachel replied. "He's just worried someone is going to end up hurt again. But I've told him that we're both adults and we're capable of deciding what's best for ourselves. I don't think it lessened his concern, but he hasn't really said anything else about it. When I talked to him this morning, he just wanted to know what I was going to wear tonight."

"What did he say when you finally told him about us being together during high school?" Quinn asked.

"He was shocked," Rachel replied. "He wasn't very happy that I kept such a huge secret from him for so long. You know Kurt, though; he was excited to learn such a large piece of gossip. I sort of blurted it out while he was driving us to the reunion, so I guess I'm just lucky he didn't crash his car. He actually had to pull over and then he made me tell him everything."

"I'm still surprised he hasn't told everyone we went to high school with," Quinn remarked.

"Kurt is perfectly capable of keeping a secret if you ask him to," Rachel replied. "Although, it may have more to do with not wanting to hurt Finn than keeping our secret." She noticed Quinn had stopped walking and turned around to look at her. "What?"

"Why didn't you ever tell him?" Quinn asked.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked back.

"Finn," Quinn replied. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"Because I promised you a long time ago that I wouldn't tell anyone, so I didn't," Rachel stated.

"I know, but he was your fiancé," Quinn replied.

"And if I told him, it only would have upset him," Rachel said. "He would have felt like I'd lied to him even though it wasn't really just my secret to tell. I assumed you were still living in Lima and that you were still in the closet and would probably stay like that. By the time I knew any different, things had gone on for far too long for me to tell him. He would have felt like our relationship was a lie even though what happened between you and I had nothing to do with my relationship with Finn."

Rachel sighed. "I know Finn, and I know how he would have reacted to it. He would have been angry that he wasn't actually the first person I had slept with. While I never lied to him about that—I always told him he was the only _man_ I had ever been with—he would have seen it as a lie. I have no doubt he would have talked to Noah, and I'm sure the information would have spread among our former classmates in no time. I told you I would keep your secret and that's what I intended to do even if it meant not being entirely truthful with my fiancé."

Quinn continued walking again and Rachel fell in step beside her.

"I'm sure he's going to find out sooner or later, though, and I would like to be the one to tell him if he's ever willing to speak to me again," Rachel added. "With your permission, of course. As I said, I'm sure he won't be so concerned about keeping it a secret, so I'll only tell him when you're ready for everyone to know. If you ever are."

"You can tell him," Quinn replied. "I don't care if people know."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked, looking toward Quinn's apartment building as they approached it. "Not only will they know you are interested in women, but they'll all know you dated _me_."

Quinn looked over at her. "I'm sure. Tell Finn whenever you want. Tell _anyone_ whenever you want. I would actually be kind of relieved for everyone to finally know the truth. Other than just not talking to anyone from high school, the reason I haven't told anyone is because I didn't want to screw up your life. As you said earlier, it wasn't just my secret to tell." Quinn and Rachel both stopped, and the blonde glanced toward the building. "I guess this is my stop."

"I'm—I enjoyed tonight," Rachel said.

Quinn smiled. "Me too."

Rachel opened her mouth, but then closed it, hesitating a moment before leaning forward and bringing their lips together. The kiss was soft and unhurried—everything their kisses lately hadn't been—and Rachel pulled away after only a few moments.

"Goodnight, Quinn," Rachel said.

"Night, Rach," Quinn replied.


	25. Don't Be

**Chapter 25 – Don't Be**

"So, are you going to tell me what was so important that you missed last night's show?" Stephanie asked as she walked into Rachel's dressing room.

Rachel glanced at the open door, not really wanting everyone knowing she took off to go on a date, but Stephanie seemed to sense her hesitancy and shut the door. She had known people to take off for far less, but she was also concerned about how things were going to look. She wanted to be a star, after all, and she didn't want to give anyone a reason not to give her a lead role.

"Well?" Stephanie asked.

"I had a date with Quinn," Rachel admitted. "After you and I spoke on Wednesday, I gave it a lot of thought, and I ultimately decided that I wanted to see where things lead."

"Really?" Stephanie asked.

"Really," Rachel replied. "So, I went to her apartment and asked if she would like to go on a date with me. I wouldn't have asked for the evening off, but it was our first date, and I wanted to do it on a Saturday as dates traditionally are rather than waiting until Monday."

Rachel sighed to herself. "I know things aren't going to be easy and there's a good chance that one or both of us will end up hurt again, but I decided I needed to try. That's not to say I'm just going to jump head first into things; I'm certainly going to be cautious this time."

She had always worn her heart and her sleeve, falling for people too easily and being overly emotional, and it had only ever resulted in her getting hurt. She was determined not to do that this time, though; she was open to seeing where things with Quinn went, but things were different than they were in high school. She couldn't just throw herself into the deep end and hope she made it out alive. She knew she had to be more practical than that this time.

"Are you going to tell me how the date was?" Stephanie asked.

"It went well," Rachel replied. "Maybe not as much in the beginning. I guess I was a little nervous, but once we began eating, we started talking, and I relaxed. And then after dinner we went to a play—a modern retelling of A Midsummer Night's Dream. We ended up stopping at an ice cream parlor not too far from her apartment, and then I walked her home. I wanted to keep thing simple on our first date while still having a good time, and I think I accomplished that."

"Are you going out again?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel shrugged. "We haven't discussed that yet. I'm not sure what the protocol for calling someone after a first date is, but calling her this morning seemed a little too soon, so I thought I would wait. I imagine there will be a second date in our future, though."

Stephanie hummed and then asked. "It wasn't weird at all?"

"It was a little strange being out on a date with her, yes," Rachel replied. "We rarely went out while we were together during high school. She was too afraid someone we knew would see us, so the few times we did go out, we left town. Even then, being out of town, it was hard to relax." Rachel shook her head. "It was strange being out to dinner with her and not having to worry about that. It was always such a point of contention with us. I just wanted us to be like every other couple, but even when we tried, Quinn was always on guard. You can imagine how weird it felt for _Quinn_ to tell _me_ to not be so nervous."

"It sounds like she's changed a lot," Stephanie remarked.

"Yeah," Rachel agreed. "But at the same time, she hasn't. Not from the Quinn I got to know. In public, yes, but when it was just us in my bedroom, where she didn't have to worry putting on some facade, she was always a different person. That was the person I fell in love with. Not the cheerleader who was concerned with popularity and winning prom queen, but the person Quinn was when she was simply being herself.

"It always made me sad that she wasn't willing to show that side to others. She was always so serious around everyone else, but she could actually be quite funny and silly when she wanted to be. I always thought she would be even more popular if she would let people see the real Quinn. No one would have been able to resist falling in love with her." She glanced at Stephanie. "What? Why are you giving me that look?"

Stephanie smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just glad you had a good time."

* * *

Rachel glanced at her phone on her dressing room table. She had been putting calling off Quinn for the past hour, telling herself she'd call when she was finally alone. Now, though, everyone was gone and she was out of excuses.

She wasn't really sure why she was so nervous about calling Quinn. It wasn't as if they hadn't been through all of this once before. She and Quinn had kissed countless times, they had been on a first date before, they had made love to one another—so why was calling Quinn so difficult? She'd never really been in this situation before, though. In high school, things had kind of just happened with Quinn, and both times she had been with Finn, he had been the one to ask her out first, so she didn't have to worry about the proper procedure for contacting someone after a first date.

Sighing, Rachel looked at the clock and knew she needed to make up her mind one way or another. Her evening show would be starting in twenty-five minutes and she would miss her opportunity until after the show, which wouldn't be horribly late to call but still a little later than she would like. She also knew the call would be on her mind if she didn't do it now, and the last thing she wanted was to be distracted by anything while performing. So, without a lot of options left, she walked over, grabbed her phone from the table, and quickly called Quinn's number.

"Hey," Quinn answered.

Rachel smiled to herself. "Hi, Quinn. Is this a bad time?"

"Not at all," Quinn replied. "I was actually thinking about calling you, but I didn't know if you'd want to be interrupted before your show."

Rachel gave a light laugh. "I had a similar dilemma. I wasn't sure if you would be busy today and I didn't want to interrupt you if you were doing something on your day off. And, of course, today has been incredibly busy, and I just—I wasn't entirely certain when I should call."

"For future reference, you can call me anytime," Quinn replied. "I really don't do a lot on weekends, and even if you call when I'm at work, I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked. "I wouldn't want to bother you while you're at work."

"You wouldn't be," Quinn replied.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Quinn asked back.

"No reason, really," Rachel replied. "It's just —Finn didn't really like when I called him while he was at work, so I always tried not to. Of course, his workplace didn't really allow him to take personal calls while he was on the clock, so I could understand why he wouldn't want me calling him."

"He couldn't call you during his break?" Quinn asked.

"He liked to socialize with his friends during his breaks," Rachel replied

Quinn hummed. "Well, I see everyone at work eight hours a day, five days a week, so don't feel bad about it."

"I'll keep that it mind," Rachel replied.

"Do," Quinn said. "Unless you're actually calling me to tell me you had a terrible time last night and this is the last time we'll ever be talking."

Rachel laughed. "I had far from a terrible time, Quinn."

"Good," Quinn replied. "Does that mean we can have lunch tomorrow?"

"I actually have a hair appointment around one, but if you would like to meet a little earlier, we could certainly have lunch together," Rachel said. "I don't know if your lunch hour is flexible."

"It can be," Quinn replied.

"Well, then, how about we meet around eleven?" Rachel asked. "I can meet you outside your building and we can find a place to have lunch."

"Sounds good," Quinn replied.

"Great," Rachel said, glancing over as the door to the dressing room opened. "I'll see you then. Goodbye."

"And how is Finn?" Liz asked.

"What?" Rachel asked, looking over at her.

"The phone call," Liz said, motioning toward the phone still in Rachel's.

"Oh, that wasn't—that was a-a friend from high school," Rachel replied.

"Well, then, how is Kurt?" Alyson asked.

"I can only assume Kurt is well, but it was a different friend," Rachel said.

Stephanie's eyebrows rose, but she didn't say anything. Rachel hadn't confided in any of her other cast mates about her engagement being off or about Finn moving out of the city. She planned on telling them eventually—probably when one of them noticed her engagement ring no longer being on her finger—but for now, she didn't really want to talk about it. She'd already had to have the same conversation several times, and she didn't feel like having to do it again. At least not right then.

* * *

"Have you been here before?" Rachel asked, looking around the cafe as she and Quinn were shown to their table.

"Once," Quinn replied.

"It's very charming," Rachel commented.

"The food's good, too," Quinn said, receiving a smile from the hostess.

"Your waitress will be right with you," she said.

Rachel picked up her menu, glancing over the top of it at Quinn for a moment. Her hair was back in a ponytail and Rachel couldn't help thinking about how often she'd seen her like that. As a cheerleader, Quinn had been forced to keep her hair in a ponytail, but whenever she had come over to Rachel's, she had always left it down. She had come to associate the ponytail with 'school Quinn' as she had mentally called her.

"You okay?" Quinn asked.

Rachel hummed and glanced over at her again. "Yes, I'm fine."

Quinn opened her mouth but closed it as their waitress came to the table. After being assured that it was one of the best things on the menu, Rachel picked the first sandwich that had caught her eye while Quinn had opted for a salad. By the time the waitress was walking away, Rachel had already forgotten what they had been talking about before she arrived, so when she noticed Quinn looking at her, she furrowed her brows.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Are you really okay?" Quinn asked.

"What makes you think I'm not?" Rachel asked back.

"Because I know you," Quinn replied. "You may not be the same person you were in high school, but your face still gives you away."

"Nothing is wrong exactly," Rachel said. "I was just thinking how I hadn't seen you with a ponytail in a long time. That's all."

Quinn slowly nodded. "And you were thinking about high school."

"Yes," Rachel replied with a sigh. "It's hard not to sometimes when I'm with you. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Quinn said. "It's not like I don't think about it, too. You're not the only one who hated high school."

"What made you go to the reunion, then?" Rachel wondered.

Quinn shrugged. "Mercedes and Tina somehow found out where I was and my phone number, and they kept calling me. They said they wanted everyone from the Glee Club there, and neither of them would take no for an answer. I eventually agreed so they would leave me alone." Quinn paused for a moment and then shrugged again. "And I wanted to see you."

"But you barely spoke to me at the reunion," Rachel replied.

Quinn smiled and said, "You didn't exactly make it easy to. You wouldn't even look at me that night at Breadstix, so I knew then that you probably didn't want to talk to me. And then when I did talk to you, it was clear that you would rather be doing anything else."

"But you still tried to talk to me when we ran into each other at the Lima Bean," Rachel replied.

"And that went so well," Quinn said, giving her a wry smile. "I just wanted to know how you were. I don't know; I guess I was hoping you would actually talk to me. I didn't exactly think we would ever be friends or anything, but—I missed you. You were the best friend I had in high school."

"And if I had been willing to be friends?" Rachel asked. "Would you have been able to be friends with me?"

"If you were happy, yes," Quinn replied.

"Is that why you asked me if I was happy with Finn?" Rachel asked. "You've said you weren't trying to come between us, but I don't know if I believe that."

"I asked because I've seen you happy, and you didn't seem very happy when I saw you together," Quinn replied. "Did I wish you weren't with him and did I push you a little bit when we talked? Yeah, I did. But if you and Finn had been meant to be, I don't think things wouldn't have fallen apart so easily just because we talked. I would never have tried anything with you while you were with him. If you were happy and in love with him, I would have accepted it."

"But I was still so angry with you," Rachel stated. "If I had been happy enough with Finn, that wouldn't have been the case, would it?" She sighed. "Not that I wanted to believe that at the time, but Kurt and Stephanie refused to let me remain in denial."

"Do you wish they had?" Quinn asked.

Rachel didn't answer for a few moments, but she eventually said, "I don't know. It was certainly easier when I knew my plan for my life."

"And everyone knows how much you like having everything planned," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded. "Exactly."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Quinn said.

"Don't be," Rachel replied. "It's not really your fault even if I did like to blame you for everything. I was just upset. I'm sorry I yelled at you so much."

"Don't be," Quinn said. "We both said what we needed to say. If we hadn't, we probably wouldn't be here right now."

"You're right," Rachel said with a slight smile before the waitress interrupted them to bring their drinks.

* * *

"Hi, Dad," Rachel said when she answered her ringing phone.

"Hi, honey," Hiram replied. "You're not busy or anything, are you?"

"No, I was just doing a little cleaning while waiting for the laundry to dry," Rachel replied, putting her duster on the coffee table as she sat down on the couch. "Certainly nothing that can't wait."

"How are you doing?" Hiram asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied.

Her fathers had been calling her a lot more over the past month than they usually did. She knew they were both still worried about her even though she'd tried to assure them that she was alright every time they spoke. Not only that, but whenever they talked, her fathers subtly—and sometimes not so subtly—tried to ask her why she wanted the break with Finn in the first place, but she was avoiding the question.

The thought of finally telling them everything was almost as bad as thinking about telling Finn. She knew they were going to be hurt that she'd lied to them for so long. She had always been close to her fathers, telling them just about everything until the day Quinn had kissed her in the choir room. It had caused quite a bit of strain on their relationship since she could no longer talk to them the way she once could, but things had gotten better once high school was over, and the last thing she wanted was for her relationship with them to become strained once again.

"How are you and Daddy?" Rachel asked.

"We're good," Hiram replied. "Your father's discovered some website that has nothing but cookie recipes, so the house is overrun with sweets at the moment."

Rachel laughed. "There are worse things to be overrun with."

"Tell that to my waistline," Hiram said. "I think I've went up a pant size this week."

"Is that where Daddy is right now?" Rachel asked. "Baking?"

"No, he's at the store," Hiram replied. "He ran out of flour or something."

Rachel laughed again. "Well, you could always tell him to send some my way if you're getting tired of them. Although, with as much as I've been eating out, I don't know if my waist line can really take it, either."

"Is work keeping you that busy?" Hiram asked. "I thought you usually cooked, or at least you've mentioned it a lot.

"Yes, but no more than usual," Rachel replied. "I just don't feel like cooking for only myself most days."

"Have you talked to him at all?" Hiram asked.

"No," Rachel replied. "I haven't really tried calling him since the week he left, though. He knows where I am if he wishes to contact me, but I don't imagine that's going to happen anytime soon."

"You don't exactly sound that upset about it," Hiram noted.

"I've just accepted it," Rachel replied. "Nothing is going to change what happened; Finn is going to do as he wants. I wish things could have turned out differently, but sometimes things just happen and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Honey, are you ever going to tell us what exactly happened?" Hiram asked.

"There's not a lot to tell," Rachel replied. "I told you I wished for us to take a break, but Finn wasn't willing to do that."

"I know, but a few months ago, you were planning your wedding," Hiram said. "Something had to have changed."

"I suppose I simply started examining my life," Rachel replied. "I'm fine, though; you and Daddy don't have to worry about me."

"It's our job," Hiram said.

"Well, you can take a vacation from it then," Rachel replied. "I'm alright. I wish Finn wasn't so upset with me, but he is, and there's nothing I can do to change that. I've adjusted to my new life, and I'm okay now."

She still missed having someone to come home to, but she was no longer as sad as she had been. She was no longer watching depressing movies with Kurt every night, and her diet consisted of things other than junk food. She was done grieving for the future she would no longer have, and she was moving on. She really did wish Finn would speak to her because she hated thinking that he probably hated her, but that was out of her control.

"Would you tell us if you weren't okay?" Hiram asked.

"Of course," Rachel replied. "But that's irrelevant at the moment. I'm fine; I promise you."

"Alright," Hiram said. "I'll drop it. For now"

Rachel smiled. "Thank you. For both the concern and for dropping it."

"You're welcome," Hiram said with a light chuckle.

* * *

"She's back," Stephanie said, nudging Rachel in the side.

"Who is back?" Rachel asked.

Stephanie nodded to the side, and Rachel smiled at the girl whose program she was signing before glancing at where Stephanie had indicated. She frowned slightly, not seeing whoever Stephanie was talking about, but then Nick took a step to the side and Rachel saw exactly who she was referring to.

Rachel signed a few more autographs and took some pictures with the ones who asked, including one with Stephanie and Alyson. She could feel Quinn's eyes on her the whole time, and when she turned and headed toward the end of the line, Quinn was looking intently at her with a slight smile of her face.

"What are you doing here, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "Were you just in the neighborhood?"

"No, not really," Quinn replied.

Rachel gave a light laugh and shook her head. "Well, at least you're honest."

She glanced over her shoulder and saw that Stephanie was still only about halfway through the line, talking with a younger girl. Rachel was thankful that Stephanie was taking her time and she hoped she wouldn't be done anytime soon. She knew Stephanie would want to be introduced to Quinn, but Rachel wasn't entirely ready to do that yet.

"I actually just wanted to see you," Quinn said after a few moments.

Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes for any sign that she was lying, but she couldn't see one, and then ducked her head when she felt herself blushing. The theater wasn't exactly close to Quinn's apartment, and Rachel couldn't remember the last time anyone had gone that out of their way just to see her. It was certainly a departure from Finn, who had never once just shown up at the theater to see her. In fact, the only time he had ever been there was opening night when she was still in the ensemble.

"Is there any particular reason you wanted to see me?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shook her head. "Other than that's been a couple days, not really."

"Oh," Rachel replied.

"And I also wanted to ask if you were doing anything this weekend," Quinn added.

"Working," Rachel said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Do you think you would be okay with having dinner on Friday, then?" Quinn asked.

"I think I would be okay with that," Rachel replied. "Although, I do have a show that evening."

"I was thinking we could have dinner before your show," Quinn said. "I know it's a little early, but I didn't know if you would want to wait until after the show."

"Before would be fine," Rachel replied.

"The show starts at seven, right?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "Do you have a restaurant in mind? If you choose one close to the theater, it would give us a little more time. I usually like to get here a little early, usually by six-fifteen, but it's not really necessary that I'm here. As long as I have enough time to do my hair and makeup and get in costume, I'll be okay. I can do that in ten minutes if need be."

"Do you have any recommendations?" Quinn asked.

"A few," Rachel replied. "There are a lot of restaurants around here, but some are a lot better than others. A lot of them are quite mediocre and highly overpriced. I can send you a list of the better ones if you would like me to."

"Yeah, sure," Quinn said.

Rachel smiled. "Great."

Rachel heard someone clear their throat behind her and she didn't need to turn around to know that it was Stephanie. Quinn's eyes flitted over Rachel's shoulder at the noise before looking back to her with her eyebrow slightly raised, clearly not pleased with the interruption.

"Um, Quinn, this is Stephanie, my cast mate," Rachel introduced. "Stephanie is the lead in the show, but I'm sure you remember that. Stephanie, this is Quinn."

"I've heard a lot about you," Stephanie said.

"I can't really say the same," Quinn replied.

Rachel gave Quinn an exasperated look, but Stephanie just laughed. It was true that she hadn't told her a _lot_ about Stephanie, but she'd certainly mentioned her once or twice.

"I'm not surprised," Stephanie said. "From what I've heard, you two haven't done a lot of talking."

"Oh my god," Rachel replied, covering her face with her hands.

When she finally looked up, she could see a slight tinge to Quinn's cheeks, and she knew she wasn't the only one who was embarrassed. Quinn, however, was a little better at hiding it than she was. Rachel felt like her face was on fire, and she was sure that it also looked like it was if the amused look on Stephanie's face was any indication.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Stephanie said, laughing as she nudged Rachel's shoulder.

"Goodnight," Rachel called after her as her friend began walking away.

"I should let you get home," Quinn said a few moments later.

Rachel nodded. "I'll send you that list of restaurants in the morning."

"I'll see you Friday," Quinn replied.

For a moment, Rachel thought she was going to just walk away, but then she stopped and turned back around. Quinn hesitated for a few seconds, but then took a step toward Rachel, bringing their lips together in a soft, lingering kiss.

"Night," Quinn said as Rachel's eyes fluttered open.

"Goodnight, Quinn," Rachel softly replied.


	26. Stay

**Chapter 26 – Stay**

Rachel couldn't help the feeling of dread as she walked into the theater. She usually felt excitement every time she walked in, knowing she would soon be on stage, doing what she was born to do, but there was no excitement this time. Everyone had been asked to come in early, and she knew it wasn't good news. Sure enough, when they were all gathered around, they were delivered the bad news: production was shutting down in a month. Their show wasn't making enough money and the producers had decided it was time to cancel it.

It was like a punch in the gut. She knew it happened all the time—most shows were lucky if they made it more than a few years—but it didn't really make her feel any better. She had been working on the show for over a year, and the people there had become like a family to her. Now she was no longer going to get to see them every day. Even worse, she wasn't going to get to do what she loved every day.

She knew she wasn't the only one who was saddened by the news, but not everyone seemed entirely surprised. There had been rumblings about the producers possibly cancelling the show, but it wasn't the first time she'd heard such things since she'd begun doing the show. Nothing had ever come of it the other times, however, so she'd tried not to listen to the gossip. Unfortunately, it seemed as if the gossip had been true in this case.

"This sucks."

Rachel gave Stephanie a sad smile. "Yes, it does."

As much as she loved performing, going on auditions was more than a little frustrating. She didn't know how many she had been on, all leading to disappointment, until she finally got her big break. She knew that was just how the business worked, but going on audition after audition and not getting anywhere could be a little disheartening. And now she was going to have to do it all over again.

"Excuse me," Rachel said, standing up from her seat.

Rachel headed toward the nearest exit out of the room. Most of the cast and crew of the show were still standing around, talking to each other about the disappointed news, but Rachel had no desire to talk to any of them at the moment or to even be in the theater. So, she walked through the hallway and left through one of the back doors, thankful no one tried to stop her along the way.

She walked to the corner of the street and waited with a few dozen other people until the light had turned. Together, they all began to cross the street, one impatient man earning a glare from her as he bumped into her in his haste to cross the street. When Rachel was on the other side, she began to walk up the street, heading toward her favorite coffee shop. She liked to go there once or twice a week, and as she walked in, she couldn't help wondering if she would have the time to continue going there once she was unemployed and no longer working just across the street from it.

Just as she received her hot chocolate, she saw someone standing up from one of the tables and quickly snatched it before anyone else could. She gave the other woman who had tried to get to the table an apologetic look, even if she wasn't exactly sorry, and then pulled out her phone and called Kurt.

"This better be important," Kurt said, answering the phone. "I met a cute guy at the garage, and we're meeting again for coffee in an hour and I need time to prepare."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you don't need an hour to get ready, Kurt. I've never seen you in anything but your finest, even when you're at the garage."

"True, but he's already seen me in this," Kurt replied.

"Kurt," Rachel said with a sigh.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Production on my musical is shutting down," Rachel said.

"What? Today?" Kurt asked.

"In a little over a month," Rachel replied. "Our last show is on the third of November. They just told us. The show isn't making enough money."

Kurt groaned. "I'm so sorry, Rachel. Forget everything I said about the cute guy. I'm sitting down and you have my full attention."

"There really isn't a lot to say," Rachel replied. "I'm going to be unemployed and looking for work."

"I'm sure you'll get something quick," Kurt said. "Who wouldn't want to hire Rachel Berry?"

Rachel smiled. "I appreciate the confidence, but do you remember how many auditions I went on before getting this? Four months, Kurt."

"But now, not only are you a NYADA graduate, but you've been working on Always for over a year," Kurt stated. "I'm sure you'll get another offer before you know it."

"I hope you're right," Rachel said with a sigh.

"I'm always right," Kurt replied.

"I'm going to choose to ignore all the evidence to the contrary when it comes to that statement," Rachel said. "But only because I want to believe you." She sighed again. "Thank you, Kurt."

"For what?" Kurt asked.

"For saying exactly what I needed to hear," Rachel replied.

"I'm not just saying it," Kurt said. "I believe it. You're the most talented person I've ever known, and if you can't find work, what chance would the rest of us have? Not that I don't still think I should have gotten more solos than you while we were in Glee, but you know."

"You got plenty of solos, Kurt," Rachel said with a laugh. "_I_, on the other hand, should have gotten more. Mr. Schue just didn't like me, and we all know it was because he was intimidated by my talent."

Kurt hummed. "I'm not disagreeing."

Rachel smiled, but it slowly slipped away after a few moments as she was left thinking about her current situation. "Really, Kurt, thank you. Good luck on your coffee date. I want you to call and tell me all about it."

"Like you could stop me," Kurt replied, bringing another smile to Rachel's face.

* * *

Rachel felt drained as she entered the door to Quinn's apartment building. The news that production would be shutting down had certainly put a damper on that night's performance, though Rachel tried to give it her all as she always did.

She'd hadn't planned on going to Quinn's, but as she left the theater and started to go home, she found herself turning and going in the opposite direction. She wasn't going to stay the night at Quinn's or anything, but the thought of going home to an empty apartment and having no one but herself to commiserate with wasn't very appealing. She and Quinn weren't exactly in a relationship yet, at least not a typical one, but she could at least provide some comfort.

Rachel didn't hesitate knocking once she finally reached Quinn's door. She knew by now that Quinn wasn't one to go to bed early, and she was actually there a lot sooner than usual. She had left the theater so quickly that only a few people had been at the stage door, and none of them had stopped her.

As she stood in the hallway looking around, she frowned when she realized voices were coming from inside Quinn's apartment. At first, Rachel figured it was the television, but she definitely heard Quinn's voice and another belonging to another female. Quinn obviously wasn't alone in her apartment, but Rachel tried to tell herself that she probably just had some friends over. Not that she would technically be doing anything wrong if the person was more than a friend. They hadn't really laid any ground rules with their relationship, and Quinn was free to do as she wished.

"Hey," Quinn said when she opened the door, and Rachel noticed she wasn't opening it quite as wide as usual.

"Is this a bad time?" Rachel asked, glancing over Quinn's shoulder.

"No, I just—"

"Have someone else in your apartment," Rachel finished for her. "Yes, I heard."

"It's not what you think," Quinn replied.

"It doesn't really matter what I think," Rachel quickly said. "You're free to do whatever you want, Quinn."

"Who is at the door so late, Quinnie?"

"Quinnie?" Rachel asked.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "It's my mom. She had a few days off and decided to surprise me on her way back from visiting my sister."

"Oh," Rachel replied. "Well then—um, I guess I should go."

She felt foolish for jumping to conclusions. It wasn't as if she had any right to be jealous, but she couldn't help that feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought Quinn had another woman over.

"I tried calling you, but it went to your voicemail," Quinn said, reaching out, and grabbing Rachel's hand to stop her.

"I realized when I was leaving home that I forget to charge my phone last night," Rachel explained. "I also meant to grab my charger, but I was in a hurry and forgot that as well, so my battery died while I was at work."

"I didn't know she was coming," Quinn said, letting go of her hand. "I would have told you if I did."

"I believe you," Rachel replied.

"Quinnie?"

"It's a friend," Quinn called out.

"Isn't it a little late for a friend to be over?" she asked.

Quinn looked over her shoulder for a second, and then looked back to Rachel with a soft sigh. After a moment, she stepped back, opening the door a little wider, and Rachel could see Quinn's mom standing in the living room. Other than a few pictures, she'd only seen her once before, and that was at graduation. She'd certainly never been introduced to her.

"I apologize for the interruption," Rachel said, stepping just inside the apartment. "I just got off work and I thought I would stop by."

"You're working awfully late," Judy said.

"Rachel's in a Broadway show," Quinn replied.

"Oh," Judy said. "I didn't know you had any famous friends."

"I wouldn't exactly refer to myself as famous," Rachel replied. "I'm certainly not the star of the show."

"But you will be," Quinn said.

Rachel opened her mouth for a moment but quickly closed it and looked down.

"It's getting late," Judy said. "I'm going to start getting ready for a bed. It's was nice to meet you—Rachel, was it?"

"Yes," Rachel replied. "It was nice meeting you, too."

Quinn watched as Judy grabbed her bag and walked toward the bathroom, shaking her head when Judy left the door slightly ajar. "I really wish she'd warned me that she was coming."

"It's nice that she wanted to surprise you," Rachel replied.

Quinn hummed, not looking like she agreed. "You never really said why you stopped by."

"Oh, no reason," Rachel lied.

Quinn looked at her for a moment, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm wonderful," Rachel said, forcing a smile onto her face.

"Rach—"

"I should go," Rachel interrupted.

"We're having lunch tomorrow," Quinn said, stopping Rachel as she turned to walk away. "You should come with us."

Rachel shook her head as she turned around. "I don't really think—"

"You said you always wanted to meet my parents," Quinn interrupted. "Now's your chance. If you still want to."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't," Quinn replied.

"You're sure I won't be intruding?" Rachel asked.

"You'll be saving me," Quinn replied, smiling.

Rachel hesitated for a moment before nodding. She didn't want Quinn to feel like she had to invite her just to make up for the past. It had always hurt that Quinn wouldn't introduce her to her parents even as a friend, and Quinn knew that. Now, though, Quinn hadn't even hesitated to invite her to lunch with them.

"I would love to go," Rachel added.

"Good," Quinn said, giving her another smile. "I'll call you and let you know where we're going."

Rachel nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, Quinn. Goodnight."

"Night," Quinn softly said as Rachel turned to leave the apartment.

* * *

Rachel was the first to the restaurant the next day, but she only had to wait a few minutes before Quinn and Judy showed up. Judging by the look on the latter's face, Rachel wondered if Quinn had even told her mother that she would be joining them. Of course, the look could have been disapproval rather than surprise.

Upon meeting her, Rachel had immediately gotten the impression that Judy didn't like her very much, and that impression didn't change as they sat down to lunch. Other than a curt greeting, Judy hadn't said more than a few words to her, mostly talking to her daughter as if Rachel wasn't even there. Quinn had tried pulling Rachel into the conversation more than once, but Rachel had remained relatively quiet as they waited on their food to arrive.

"Thank you," Rachel said to their waiter as he set her plate down in front of her.

"So, Quinn, how was work today?" Judy asked.

"Busy," Quinn replied. "I was beginning to think I was going to have to work through lunch, but Ian helped me with a few things."

"He sounds nice, dear," Judy said, a smile appearing on her face.

"A little too nice sometimes," Quinn remarked.

"How can someone be too nice?" Judy asked.

"Because he tries to help all the time and usually makes things worse," Quinn replied. "And he won't stop trying to set me up with his friends, which is really annoying."

"Is he the one who set you up on that date when you came to see the show?" Rachel asked.

"What show?" Judy inquired.

"Rachel's," Quinn answered. "And no. That was another coworker."

"What's wrong with someone wanting to set you up?" Judy asked. "You're young and single; you should be going out and meeting new people. You never know who you're going to find. Maybe someone unexpected."

"I don't need to meet someone unexpected," Quinn stated. "I know who I like, and it's not going to be anyone he sets me up with. If you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom."

Quinn stood up, giving Rachel an apologetic look, though she wasn't sure if it for leaving her alone with Judy or if it was for the afternoon as a whole. It was certainly one of the more awkward lunches Rachel had endured, but she wasn't exactly angry or anything. If anything, it just made her understand Quinn a little better.

"So, is that how you and my daughter know each other?" Judy asked while Quinn walked away. "She went to your show?"

"Actually, Quinn and I attended high school together," Rachel replied. "We were in the Glee Club together."

"Oh, you're that Rachel," Judy said.

"Yes, I am," Rachel replied.

"I wasn't aware you and Quinn were friends," Judy said.

"We weren't really," Rachel replied. "I didn't even know she was living here until we saw each other at the reunion. We decided to catch up, though."

Judy hummed and began eating her salad, not saying anything else. Rachel, however, had a lot of things that she wanted to say, but she figured it would be best if she also remained silent. It was clear that Judy wished to remain in denial about her daughter with several of the comments she'd made, and Rachel knew it wasn't her place to say anything.

"Sorry," Quinn said when she finally sat back down, and Rachel knew she was speaking more to her than Judy.

"So, Quinnie, I was thinking about leaving a bit later than I had originally planned," Judy said before taking a drink of water. "I thought maybe we could go to dinner before I leave."

"I kind of already have plans for dinner," Quinn said, glancing at Rachel.

"Couldn't you change those plans?" Judy asked.

"I thought you always said it was rude to cancel with less than a day's notice," Quinn replied.

"I'm sure whoever it is will understand," Judy said. "After all, it isn't every day that I'm here."

Quinn sighed and then looked at Rachel. She knew Quinn didn't want to cancel dinner, but it didn't look as if they were going to have much of a choice. And Rachel didn't really blame her; she knew the same thing would happen if her fathers suddenly came into town. It wasn't as if Quinn saw her mother every day.

"It's fine, Quinn," Rachel said. "We can always have dinner another day."

"You two were going to have dinner this evening?" Judy asked.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"Well, at least you're not cancelling on a date, then," Judy commented.

Quinn shook her head, running her hand through her hair. "It was, actually."

Judy visibly tensed as she slowly chewed her food. "Oh. I didn't know you were—friends with anyone."

"That's because you never ask," Quinn replied.

"Excuse me," Judy said, placing her napkin on the table.

Quinn sighed as Judy walked toward the bathroom, and then looked at Rachel. "I'm sorry. She usually isn't quite this bad. I think she realized last night that there was something going on between us, and that's why she's being like this."

"It's not your fault," Rachel replied.

"I know, but I'm the one who asked you to come," Quinn said.

"But you were right; I'm the one who always wanted to meet your parents," Rachel pointed out.

"And now?" Quinn asked.

"Now I think I understand a little better," Rachel replied. "If your mom is the more accepting parent, I can't imagine what your father must be like."

"Don't worry," Quinn said. "You won't ever have to find out."

Rachel nodded. "While you were in the bathroom, I told your mom we knew each other in high school. She was a little surprised to know I was _that_ Rachel. I wasn't aware she knew I existed at all back then."

"Your name may have come up a few times when I was talking about the Glee Club," Quinn replied.

"Were you complaining about how annoying I was?" Rachel wondered.

"Probably," Quinn replied, giving her a smile. "But I also think I mentioned something about you being our best singer."

Rachel couldn't help smiling back. "Well, at least you told her the truth about that."

* * *

Rachel was standing in her bedroom in nothing but her underwear when she heard a knock on her door. She'd only been home about five minutes and was changing into something more comfortable, not expecting to have any guests over. She grabbed the pair of shorts she'd set on the bed and quickly put them on before heading toward the door, pulling her shirt on as she went.

"Quinn, what are you doing here?" she asked when she opened the door and found the blonde on the other side.

"I wanted to talk," Quinn replied.

"Oh," Rachel said, frowning. "Okay. Come in."

Rachel closed the door behind Quinn and then motioned toward the living room. She followed behind Quinn and waited for her to sit down before joining her on the couch.

"Is something wrong?" Rachel asked.

"That's actually what I was going to ask you," Quinn said. "What's wrong? I know something's bothering you. I could tell when you came to my apartment the other night even though you said you were fine."

"Oh, that," Rachel replied, looking down.

"I don't want us to lie to each other, Rachel," Quinn stated. "It was lying and keeping things from people and not talking to each other that screwed everything up before."

"I was going to tell you, Quinn," Rachel replied. "I promise. It was nothing for you to worry about, though. I just—my show is closing. I found out that day, and I guess I just wanted someone to talk to about it."

"Why didn't you say something?" Quinn asked.

"I didn't want to do it while your mom was there," Rachel said, shrugging.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked.

"I guess," Rachel replied. "I've loved doing the show and I'm really going to miss it. It feels weird going to work when I know it's all going away in a month. I've worked so hard on it for over a year, and I was really hoping I could take over for Stephanie one day, but now that obviously isn't going to happen. Who knows if I'll even be able to find another job anytime soon, and even if I do, I know it won't be the same." She sighed. "I'm really going to miss everyone."

"You'll get something," Quinn said. "You're way too talented to not."

"This is New York City," Rachel replied. "There are a lot of talented people here."

"It doesn't matter," Quinn said. "I've watched you perform for years. The first time I saw you, I was speechless, and you've only gotten better since then. Anyone would be crazy not to want you in their show. I don't care how many other talented people there are here; I know you'll be better than all of them."

Rachel smiled softly and then moved closer to Quinn, putting her head on the blonde's shoulder. "I just hate auditioning. The actual auditioning part is okay because you know how much I love to perform, but getting rejected over and over isn't nearly as much fun."

"Have you started looking for anything yet?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head. "Not yet. I'll probably begin looking on Monday. There are quite a few websites that list casting calls, so I'll go through them. Before I finally got cast in Always, I auditioned for four months, going on them whenever they didn't conflict with my classes. I must have gone on a hundred auditions before finally getting it. And that was just getting in the ensemble."

"I'm really sorry," Quinn whispered.

"Thank you," Rachel replied.

"I'm definitely going to have to go see it again before it closes," Quinn said, reaching out, and linking her finger around Rachel's. "I was so surprised the last time, I don't remember half of it."

"You should have looked through the program," Rachel remarked.

"I probably would have if my date hadn't been talking to me the _whole_ time," Quinn replied.

"What was her name?" Rachel asked.

"Alicia," Quinn replied. "I think."

"You think?" Rachel asked.

"I didn't exactly want to be there with her," Quinn replied. "I figured out very quickly that she wasn't my type, but there wasn't a lot I could do about it. I didn't want to be rude and just leave since she is friends with someone I have work with. Although, I should probably thank her."

"Why is that?" Rachel asked.

"Because I wasn't exactly going to try to find you after the reunion," Quinn replied. "I knew you were with Finn and you weren't very happy with me. But then that date happened and then there you were. I knew I should have just walked away, but I couldn't. Not this time. I did it once before and I wasn't going to do it this time. Not unless you really wanted me to."

"How did you know I didn't want you to?" Rachel asked.

"Because you never told me to go away," Quinn replied. "You stormed out and snapped at me and got angry with me, but you never actually told me that you never wanted me to talk to you."

"You're right," Rachel said. "I didn't. I wanted to, but—I couldn't. I know that makes me a terrible person. I was engaged to Finn and I couldn't tell you to leave me alone."

"You're not a terrible person," Quinn replied.

"I'm sure Finn would disagree," Rachel said.

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand but didn't say anything else. It didn't matter, though; it wasn't as if anything Quinn said could make it better. She felt guilty that she had still been thinking of Quinn while she was with Finn, and nothing was going to change that.

"I hate to say it, but I should probably go," Quinn said after a few minutes. "We have a meeting at work in the morning, and I need to get there a little earlier than usual."

"Wait," Rachel said, grabbing Quinn's hand before she could move. "Can you just stay for five more minutes?"

"Yeah," Quinn softly replied. "I can do that."


	27. Inside Me

**Chapter 27 – Inside Me**

Rachel made herself knock on the door in front of her and then stood there, her heart pounding nervously in her chest, as she listened for any sign that someone was home. After a few seconds, though it felt like much longer, she saw the doorknob begin to turn, and she let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"Hi," Rachel said as the door opened, her voice only wavering slightly.

Quinn sighed and leaned against the doorframe as she looked at Rachel. "Hey."

"I don't know if you've eaten yet, but I brought takeout," Rachel said, holding up the bag of Chinese food.

Quinn stared at her for a few moments before finally stepping back and allowing Rachel to enter her apartment. Rachel gave her a grateful smile as she walked in, happy that Quinn hadn't shut the door in her face.

"So, why did you suddenly stop ignoring me?" Quinn asked.

"I haven't been ignoring you," Rachel replied.

"I've tried calling you for the past few days," Quinn stated.

"I know," Rachel replied. "I'm sorry. I just needed a little time to myself."

"Why didn't you just say that?" Quinn asked.

"I started to—several times, in fact—but every time I started writing the message, I would end up erasing it," Rachel replied. "I just didn't know what to say."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "How about 'Hey, Quinn, I need a little time to myself, so don't worry. I'll let you know when I feel like talking to you again'. Maybe something like that."

"I'm really sorry," Rachel replied.

"Just tell me next time," Quinn said, shaking her head. "It's fine if you don't want to talk to me, but at least let me know you're okay."

"I didn't intend to make you worry," Rachel replied. "And I answered you when you asked if I was okay. But I get your point, and I won't do it again, okay?"

Rachel set the bag on Quinn's table and then walked over, leaning up, and giving Quinn a kiss. She wasn't completely sure why she hadn't just let Quinn know she needed a few days to herself, but she did know she'd missed her, and that scared Rachel. Which is how it had begun in the first place. She had been busy looking into what other Broadway shows were around and hadn't talked to Quinn in a day or two. When it finally hit her that they hadn't spoken in a few days, she realized how much she missed talking to Quinn. She was trying to be cautious when it came to Quinn, and it had scared her that she already found herself missing Quinn, which resulted into not speaking to her for a few more days.

"Are you going to tell me why you needed the time to yourself?" Quinn asked looking down at her.

"Will you be angry if I don't?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shook her head. "No, I won't be angry."

"Thank you," Rachel said, giving Quinn a smile as she pulled away from her.

Rachel was happy Quinn wasn't going to push her into telling her why. She didn't really want to tell Quinn that she'd just gotten scared and needed a few days to convince herself that everything was fine, but she also didn't want to lie to her. She had done enough of that in her life and she was trying to make sure it didn't happen this time. But that didn't mean she was ready to start telling Quinn every single thing in her life.

"Have you eaten?" Rachel asked.

"No," Quinn replied. "I was actually getting ready to fix something, but this is much better."

Rachel smiled as she began pulling the containers out of the bag. "Perfect. I think I ordered what you always liked. Chicken with mushrooms, right?"

"Yeah," Quinn said.

"Good," Rachel said, smiling. "It's been a while."

"Six and a half years," Quinn commented.

Rachel set the last container down and paused for a moment, biting her lower lip. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?" Quinn asked.

"Did you know Finn and I broke up right after graduation?" Rachel asked. "I mean, did you know back then that it happened."

"Someone mentioned it, yeah," Quinn replied.

"So, if you knew Finn and I weren't together, why didn't you find me when you first moved to New York?" Rachel asked. "You had to know I was here; I'd talked about moving to New York City my whole life. If you still loved me when we broke up, why didn't you try to fix everything then?"

Quinn sighed and looked down for a few moments before looking back up at Rachel. "Because I was afraid it was too late. And I was still hurt and sometimes I have trouble swallowing my pride. I was afraid you would tell me you never wanted to see me again. Believe me, I wanted to and I thought about it a lot, but I guess I just wasn't ready. When I finally was, I'd heard you were with Finn again, so I thought I'd lost my chance.

"Plus, I still wasn't out to my parents or anyone from high school. I'd started coming out to the people I met here, but I didn't want us to fight about the same things we'd always fought about. I didn't want you thinking I was ashamed of you because I wouldn't introduce you to my parents. I guess I figured maybe you were better off with someone else. At least they could give you what I couldn't really give you at the time."

"Oh," Rachel replied.

"It wasn't that I didn't want to, Rachel," Quinn said. "I guess you just sometimes meet the right person at the wrong time, and that's what happened with us. It's just never really been the right time."

"Does that mean you think this is the right time?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shrugged. "You tell me."

"I guess we'll see, won't we," Rachel said after a few moments.

"I guess we will," Quinn replied, her eyebrow rising.

* * *

"Hello, Kurt," Rachel said, lying back on her bed.

"I was wondering if you were ever going to answer," Kurt said.

"Sorry, I was just in the shower," Rachel replied.

"Is this a bad time?" Kurt asked. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, I'm alone," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.

"Well, how am I supposed to know," Kurt replied. "Quinn could've been there."

"Quinn and I—we haven't—you know," Rachel said, stumbling over her words. "We haven't slept together since we decided to try dating."

"How's that going, by the way?" Kurt asked. "The dating, not the other thing."

Kurt had been mostly avoiding asking her about her personal life, at least when it came to Quinn, and Rachel had also been deliberately leaving the blonde out of their conversations. She didn't want to hear her best friend's disapproval of her life, so she had simply stopped talking about it for the most part. If Kurt was going to be the one to bring it up, though, she certainly wasn't going to waste the opportunity. She may have Stephanie to talk to, but it wasn't quite the same as talking to her best friend.

"Fine," Rachel answered, choosing to leave out the minor panic she'd recently experienced. "I, um, I met her mother a few weeks ago."

"Are you serious?" Kurt asked.

"She surprised Quinn with a visit, and it was the night I found out they were shutting down production at work, so I went over there," Rachel said. "I had no idea she was there, of course, until it was too late. Quinn invited me to lunch with them the next day, so I went."

"How did that go?" Kurt asked.

Rachel sighed. "Not very well. I definitely don't think she liked me very much, but I have a feeling she wouldn't like any girl she thought her daughter may be dating."

"So, her mom knows?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "She said she told her a few years ago, but I guess she's still in denial about it. She told her father after graduating from college and it sounds as if he reacted about as badly as a parent could. He even forbid her mother from seeing her; it was part of the reason her parents divorced."

"Things like that always make me realize how lucky I was," Kurt remarked.

"I know," Rachel replied. "Well, I can't imagine my fathers would have any issue with it when I finally tell them I'm bisexual." Rachel shook her head. "I really don't understand any parent acting like her father. It isn't as if she's suddenly a different person; she's who she always was."

"I'll never understand it, either," Kurt replied.

"I can't imagine that her mom being in denial is much better," Rachel continued. "She's still not accepting her for who she is. Quinn mentioned a male coworker and her mom practically pounced on it." Rachel shook her head. "In high school, I never really understood her reluctance to tell her parents anything, but I can now. I still don't understand why she wouldn't at least let me tell my fathers, but I understand why she was so afraid of her parents finding out."

"Is there a reason you haven't told them now?" Kurt asked. "She's not stopping you, is she?"

"No," Rachel replied. "She told me I can tell anyone I want to tell."

"Then why haven't you?" Kurt asked. "Does anyone know other than me?"

"Stephanie knows," Rachel replied.

"Whatever," Kurt said. "Two people, one of which didn't even know you before this year. Seriously, why haven't you told your dads yet?"

"Because I love them, Kurt, and I don't want them to be angry with me," Rachel replied. "I lied to them. I didn't just keep something from them, but I lied. Every Thursday when they came home and asked what I'd done that evening, I had to lie to them. And when Quinn and I broke up, I had to lie even more. They were so worried about me and I couldn't even tell them what was wrong. I know it's going to hurt them, Kurt, and the longer I wait, the harder it gets."

"Why not just leave all that out and pretend like you two are together for the first time?" Kurt asked.

"Because that would just mean I would be lying again," Rachel replied. "I don't want to do that. When I tell them, I'm going to tell them everything." Rachel sighed. "Which is why I keep putting it off. I know I need to tell them soon, though."

"Well, if you do start telling people, can you let me know?" Kurt asked. "I _really_ want to be available when Mercedes finds out, and if I can be the one to tell her, all the better."

Rachel couldn't help laughing. "Well, I can't promise you'll get to be the one to tell her, but I'll certainly let you know when I tell my fathers and when I tell Finn, if he'll ever speak to me again. I suppose after that, it won't really need to be a secret anymore."

"So, theoretically, I could be the one to tell Mercedes, then?" Kurt asked.

"Theoretically, yes," Rachel replied with a smile.

* * *

Rachel smiled at Quinn and leaned up, kissing her, before walking into the apartment with a, "Hello. I'm sorry for being a little later than I said. We had to go over a few notes tonight, which I don't really understand the point of when things are going to be over in less than a month."

"It's fine," Quinn replied. "It took a little longer to make than I thought, so dinner isn't done."

"Well, then, that works out well, doesn't it?" Rachel said, handing Quinn a bottle of wine.

"You didn't have to bring anything," Quinn said as she took it.

"I know, but I wanted to," Rachel replied as she slipped off her cardigan. "I figured it was the least I could do when you're the one making dinner after working all day. And I don't know what you're making, but it smells delicious."

"Eggplant parmesan," Quinn said. "It's one of the few vegetarian things I know how to make."

"Luckily it happens to be one of my favorites," Rachel commented.

"I remember," Quinn said, glancing at her with a slight smile.

"You do?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Quinn replied, glancing in the oven, and then opening it, pulling out the dish inside. "Do you remember that time we went to Dayton?"

"When we went to see Chicago?" Rachel asked. "Of course. It was one of the first times we went on out on a date."

"You got it at the restaurant," Quinn said. "You mentioned it was one of your favorite things, and you were happy it was one of the few vegan options."

"I'm surprised you remember that," Rachel replied.

Quinn shrugged but didn't say anything else as she took everything to the table. Rachel tried to help her, but Quinn just told her to sit down and relax, which she eventually did after Quinn insisted. She wasn't really used to having a home cooked meal unless she was the one to fix it. Kurt had cooked some when he was living there, but Finn didn't know how to make much beyond boxed macaroni and cheese.

"This looks amazing," Rachel said

"Thanks," Quinn replied. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Rachel said as she filled her plate.

"Why did you stop being vegan?" Quinn asked.

"It was just easier," Rachel said, shrugging. "I always had to make two separate dinners or order two different kinds of pizza or whatever we were having. I suppose changing to a vegetarian diet was a sort of compromise. It just made things easier for us. Plus, I did miss real cheese. I still stay conscious of what I'm putting into my body, though. Why do you ask, anyway?"

"I was just curious," Quinn replied. "You were always so serious about it in high school."

"I was serious about a lot of things back then," Rachel stated. "If I recall, that was one of the things people seemed to find the most annoying about me."

"I didn't," Quinn replied.

"I guess you were the exception," Rachel said, ducking her head. "You and Kurt. Finn certainly found it annoying." She glanced up at Quinn. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Quinn asked.

"For bringing him up," Rachel replied before taking a bite of her food.

"It isn't like we can pretend he wasn't a part of your life," Quinn said.

"I know, but—

"Rachel, it's okay," Quinn interrupted. "You only broke up two months ago, and you were together for years. He's going to come up. It's fine. It's not like people I've dated won't ever come up."

Rachel nodded and then motioned toward her plate. "This is as good as it smelled and looked." Rachel paused for a moment. "And how many people would that be? You know—that you've dated?"

"Are we counting the people I've only been one or two dates with or just people that were more serious?" Quinn asked.

"More serious is fine," Rachel replied.

"Other than you, three," Quinn answered.

"Three," Rachel repeated.

"I dated a girl for a few months my freshman year, there was another one my junior year, and then I dated another girl for about six months last year." Quinn shrugged. "Obviously none of them worked out."

"Why didn't they?" Rachel wondered.

"I believe the thing I heard more than once was that I was emotionally unavailable," Quinn replied. "I guess that's what happens when you still think about someone you were with when you were sixteen."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, feeling bad that she was the reason Quinn's relationships hadn't worked out.

"Don't be," Quinn replied. "I'm not."

* * *

"Do you know what time it is?" Rachel asked as the movie credits began to roll across the screen.

Quinn picked up her phone from the arm of the couch. "A little after one."

"I hate getting off work so late," Rachel said with a sigh. "Don't get me wrong, I love being on Broadway and couldn't imagine doing anything else, but it isn't easy when everyone else works regular hours." Rachel sat up and ran her hand through her hair. "I guess I should get going."

"Or you could stay," Quinn softly replied as she turned off the television.

Rachel bit her bottom lip and looked at Quinn, nodding a few moments later. "Okay."

Quinn stood up and offered her hand to Rachel, which she took as she also stood from the couch. She didn't know why she was suddenly nervous—it wasn't as if they hadn't done this dozens of times—but her heart rate instantly sped up the moment Quinn asked her to stay.

"We can just sleep if you want," Quinn said, apparently noticing her slight hesitation.

Rachel shook her head and then leaned forward, bringing their lips together for a moment before pulling back and saying, "I don't want to just sleep."

"Good," Quinn said, leaning forward, and whispering in her ear. "Because I've missed being inside of you."

Rachel moaned and crashed her lips against Quinn's. Their tongues danced and curled around each other when Rachel slipped hers between Quinn's parted lips without hesitation. She'd kissed Quinn since they'd become more than just two exes who were having sex, but she hadn't kissed her like this, and she'd almost forgotten how good it felt.

"I missed this, too," Rachel said when Quinn detached from her lips and slowly kissed her way down Rachel's neck.

"How much?" Quinn asked, grazing her teeth along Rachel's throat.

"So much," Rachel replied. "I had a dream last night that you were—"

"I was what?" Quinn whispered into her ear before placing a kiss to her jaw.

"That you were going down on me," Rachel said, swallowing thickly as Quinn hands went under her top and trailed up her sides.

"Is that what you want?" Quinn asked.

"Among other things," Rachel answered.

Quinn pulled back to look at her and then reached down, grabbing her hand, and tugging on it, pulling her toward the bedroom. Rachel had no objections, following Quinn into the bedroom, where she immediately pulled Quinn toward her in a hungry kiss. As their tongues sought each other out, she slowly pushed Quinn toward the bed until she was sitting on it with Rachel straddling her.

They only broke the kiss when Quinn grabbed the hem of Rachel's shirt and pulled it over her head. Rachel watched as Quinn looked down at her chest, slowly running her tongue along her bottom lip. Rachel couldn't help smiling at the sight and then slowly reached back, releasing her bra clasp, before deliberately taking her time to slide the straps down her arms and dropping it to the floor.

"Has anyone ever told you how perfect you are?" Quinn asked, putting her hands on Rachel's waist.

Rachel leaned forward, slowly kissing Quinn's lips. "I'm far from perfect, Quinn."

"Not from where I'm sitting," Quinn replied.

Rachel smiled and put her hands on Quinn's shoulders, pushing her onto her back. "That's because from where you're sitting, you have a half-naked woman on you, so you're obviously not thinking clearly. Now, what was that about you missing being inside me?"

Quinn's eyebrow rose for a moment, and then she slipped her hand under Rachel's skirt as she brought their lips together once again. Rachel moaned as Quinn's fingers found her wet center, pushing one finger inside before pulling it out a moment later and entering with a second one.

With her free hand, Quinn reached up and cupped Rachel's breast, running her thumb across Rachel's already hardened nipple. Rachel moaned at the action and began meeting Quinn's thrusts, rocking her hips back and forth as Quinn's fingers slid in and out until she quickly came with a long, loud moan.

"God, Quinn," Rachel husked as she still throbbed around Quinn's fingers.

"I think that's the first time you haven't held back as much," Quinn commented as she brushed a strand of hair out of Rachel's face.

"I'm working on it," Rachel replied as she began unzipping Quinn's dress.

"I guess it's a good thing we have all night to work on it, isn't it?" Quinn asked, running her tongue across her lip.

* * *

"Good morning," Rachel said when she looked over her shoulder and saw Quinn walking out of the bedroom.

"Hey," Quinn replied.

"I've already made coffee," Rachel said, motioning toward Quinn's coffee maker. "I figured you would want some too, if you're as tired as I am."

Quinn hummed and immediately walked toward the coffee maker, grabbing the mug Rachel had set out for her. "When I woke up and you weren't in bed, I thought maybe you'd run off again."

"I would never leave without letting you know," Rachel said, causing Quinn to look at her with her eyebrow raised. "At least not now. Although, to be fair, I never did."

"Only because I always woke up before you could," Quinn replied.

"I—okay, yes," Rachel admitted.

"At least you're not denying it," Quinn said, coughing when she took a sip of coffee.

"Too strong?" Rachel asked.

"A little," Quinn replied.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said. "I usually make it a little strong for most people's taste, and I have two shows today, and so I figured the stronger, the better." She paused for a moment, looking over at Quinn. "And I'm also sorry for always leaving the way I did in the morning. I just wasn't ready to admit that what was happening between us wasn't just some fling—that it wasn't a mistake."

"It's okay, Rachel," Quinn replied.

"I also don't know if I ever apologized for making you feel like I was using you," Rachel added. "It wasn't my intention. I just didn't know how to deal with everything I was going through, but I did know that sleeping with you—" Rachel shook her head. "I don't know. It felt good, and not for the obvious reason of orgasms feeling good. It was familiar and something I guess I had wanted for a long time without even realizing it. It simply took my head a little longer to catch up with what my body already seemed to know."

Rachel looked back at the pancakes she was making and immediately flipped it, hoping it wasn't too burnt. Unfortunately, the pancake was beyond saving, so Rachel threw it in the garbage and poured some more batter into the skillet.

"I know you're working next Saturday and this may be too short of notice, but I was wondering if you could get it off," Quinn asked, leaning against the counter. "One of my friends from Columbia is getting married and I wondered if you'd want to go with me."

"Saturday?" Rachel asked. "As in next weekend?"

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "I wasn't going to ask because I didn't know if you'd want to go, but—well, I'm asking you. Would you want to be my date to the wedding?"

It _was_ short notice, but given how things had been with them, she couldn't really blame Quinn for not asking her sooner. For all Quinn knew, she would disappear on her again or tell her it was all a big mistake.

"You don't have to," Quinn added. "I know it wasn't long ago that you were planning yours and—"

"Yes," Rachel interrupted. "I will be your date, Quinn."

Quinn smiled and then nodded. "Do you need any help?"

Rachel shook her head, but then stopped and said, "Actually, I was thinking about cutting up the strawberries, but I didn't know if you were saving it for anything."

"Nope," Quinn said, walking around Rachel, and opening the refrigerator.

"So, speaking of invitations, I was thinking about having a Halloween party this year," Rachel said. "I know it's only a few weeks away, but I thought it would be a nice chance to invite all the cast and crew of Always for one last party before our final week. Of course, I would have to do it on the thirtieth since we'll all be working that weekend and on Halloween night."

Quinn shrugged. "Sounds fun."

"Does that mean you'll help me?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, I can help," Quinn said with a laugh.

"Okay, then," Rachel said, smiling. "I'll begin letting everyone know. And, I mean, if you'd like to invite some of your friends over, you would be more than welcome to."

"I'll think about it," Quinn replied.

"I guess this means I'm going to have to go shopping for decorations," Rachel commented. "Kurt and I threw a party our first year here, but it was a little lackluster. I want to go all out this year if I'm going to have it. I guess I also need to go shopping for a new dress for the wedding. I wonder if I'll be able to get all of that done on Monday. I can imagine both are going to take a bit of time. And I was hoping you and I could go to dinner that day since it's my only evening off. If you're free, of course." She glanced at Quinn, who was rinsing the strawberries. "Quinn, are you listening?"

"Yes," Quinn said, turning off the water, and kissing Rachel's cheek before she walked around her. "Date on Monday." She smiled. "I'd love to."


	28. Let's Dance

**Chapter 28 – Let's Dance**

"I think I may have gone a little overboard today," Rachel said as she handed her phone to Quinn.

Quinn laughed as she looked at the picture and nodded. "Uh, yeah, maybe a little."

"I think I'm going to string purple and orange lights all around the apartment," Rachel said when Quinn handed her phone back. "I just hope I bought enough. If not, I can always stop by the store on Thursday. I didn't get the chance to look for a dress today, so I thought I would go before my evening show. I was going to go tomorrow, but—oh! I almost forget to tell you!"

"Tell me what?" Quinn asked.

"I have an audition tomorrow," Rachel said, setting her fork down on her empty plate, and wiping her mouth with her napkin.

"That's great," Quinn replied with a smile. "What's it for?"

"The lead in a new musical," Rachel said. "From what I've heard, they're looking for someone young, but someone with experience. Unfortunately, I also heard they're looking for someone a little fairer than I am, but I'm hoping they will change their mind once they see me."

"I'm sure they will," Quinn replied.

"I hope so," Rachel said. "Even if I'm not what they're looking for physically. I've already got my song prepared; I figured I would wow them with Don't Rain On My Parade."

"You'll certainly do that," Quinn agreed. "I remember the first time I heard you sing it."

Rachel smiled. "Sectionals."

"I kind of hated you then, but when you came out singing that song, I couldn't take my eyes off of you," Quinn said.

"You hated me?" Rachel asked with a light laugh.

"Well, if you don't remember—"

"You'd just kissed me," Rachel said. "Of course I remember. I don't think I had ever been so surprised in my life. I actually thought you were going to hit me."

"I thought I was, too," Quinn replied. "I'd never had anyone get to me the way you did. Even when I thought I hated you, though, you were all I thought about. Maybe that should have been my first tip."

"What made you kiss me that day?" Rachel asked. "I don't know if you ever told me."

Quinn shrugged. "Truthfully, I don't really know. You were asking me why I hated you so much, and I really couldn't come up with a reason. I just knew I'd always felt a pull toward you from the moment I saw you, and I tried not to think too hard about what it meant, though I knew I was attracted to you even if I didn't want to admit it. You were there and you weren't backing down, and I just—god, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't even really thinking about what I was doing; it just happened.

"You looked so scared afterward," Rachel said.

"That's because I was terrified," Quinn replied. "I'd fucked up and someone finally knew my secret. Not just anyone, but the girl I'd been a complete bitch to, who could completely ruin my life if she wanted to. And if anyone had a reason to, it would have been you."

"You should have known I would never do something like that, Quinn," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I knew what it was like to be bullied and I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone else."

"You have no idea how sorry I am for all of that," Quinn said. "I should never have taken all my frustration out on you. I really hope you know that it was never about you. It was about me."

"You've apologized to me before, Quinn," Rachel replied.

"I know, but I wanted to do it again," Quinn said. "And not just for when I was really bullying you, but for all the times I had to pretend like I hated you. I don't ever want you to think that I meant any of it. I think you're amazing; I always have. And those producers or whoever are going to see it, too."

"I appreciate the confidence," Rachel replied, looking down.

"Hey," Quinn said, reaching out, putting her hand over Rachel's. "If there's one thing I've always known, it's that you were destined for more than Lima, Ohio. Even if you don't get this, it's only a matter of time. Everyone who's ever met you knows you're going to be a Broadway star. It's not of question of if it'll happen but when."

"Thank you," Rachel replied. "For everything."

Kurt had always been her cheerleader, encouraging her and making her feel better whenever she didn't get a role. Finn hadn't ever been quite as enthusiastic as Kurt, but he'd certainly encouraged her, always assuring her something else would come along. Quinn, though—when they were together, Quinn had always believed in her. Even more than she believed in herself sometimes, and Rachel had forgotten what that felt like.

* * *

"Rachel?" Kurt called out.

"I'm coming!" Rachel called back before plopping down on the couch, and looking at her laptop screen. "Sorry, I needed to change."

"I don't want to know," Kurt said, shaking his head.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "It's nothing dirty; I just got home and wanted to get in something a little more comfortable. I didn't realize you were going to answer as quickly as you did."

"Out late, huh?" Kurt replied. "I'm assuming you were with Quinn."

"Yes, Quinn and I went out tonight," Rachel said. "We went to dinner and then she surprised me with tickets to Beautiful."

"I'm surprised you're alone right now," Kurt remarked.

"Well, Quinn has a meeting in the morning, so she couldn't be out too late," Rachel replied.

She had been disappointed when she'd found out, but she understood. Plus, it was probably for the better anyway. After all, she had an audition, and it wouldn't be very professional to go in looking exhausted because she'd been up half the night with her girlfriend. Or whatever Quinn was. Neither of them had exactly used the 'g' word, but they had been on a half a dozen dates, and even if she had a hard time admitting it to herself, she and Quinn was certainly heading toward being in a relationship with each other again.

"How's that going?" Kurt asked.

"It's still going well," Rachel replied.

"It's going well?" Kurt said. "That's all you're going to say?"

"I didn't know you really wanted to hear about it," Rachel replied.

"Just because I have my concerns, it doesn't mean I'm not still your best friend," Kurt stated. "So, how is it going? Really?"

"I meant it when I said it's going well," Rachel replied. "She's—" Rachel sighed. "Sometimes I don't know what to think about her. In some ways she hadn't changed at all, but in other ways, she's a completely different person. Maybe it's because she no longer has so much to hide from everyone, but she's so much more open now. Even in high school, when we were alone together, she could still be closed off, but she isn't like that now."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Kurt asked.

Rachel nodded. "It is. It's just—I don't know."

It was weird for her how much things had changed. Her dynamic with Quinn was quite different than how it was when they were in high school. It wasn't bad; it was just—different. She was the same Quinn in many ways, but then other things about her had drastically changed. She knew Quinn wasn't the same person she'd been back then, but knowing that and experiencing it were two different things. Then again, Rachel imagined she'd also changed a lot, too.

"Are you happy?" Kurt asked.

"I'm—" Rachel paused, furrowing her brows together. "I don't know how to answer that."

"Yes or no usually works," Kurt replied.

"It's a little more complicated than that," Rachel said. "I told you that I was going to be cautious this time, and that's exactly what I'm doing. Does Quinn make me happy?" Rachel sighed. "Yes." She shrugged. "But she also made me happy the last time as well, and we all know how that turned out. I'm just trying not to rush into this. At least not when it comes to my heart. I've done that before and I don't want to risk it again.

"She's been very supportive, though. I've been kind of down about the show closing, and she always seems to know how to make me feel better."

"Eww," Kurt replied.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I would appreciate it if your mind would get out of the gutter. I just meant that she usually knows what to say to make feel better."

"Well, with the way you two were like when I was there—"

Rachel huffed. "Not everything is about sex, Kurt."

"Okay, sorry," Kurt replied, though he didn't look very sorry. "Are you still going to that wedding with her?"

Rachel nodded and asked, "Is it weird that I'm a little nervous about it? It's the first time we've done something like this as a couple, and I'll actually be meeting some of her friends. And they'll know I'm her date! You don't know how much this would have meant to me in high school."

"Better late than never, I guess," Kurt replied.

"Yeah," Rachel said.

Rachel sighed and looked down. She knew she should be excited about accompanying Quinn to the wedding since she hadn't wanted something like that to happen for so long. Oddly, though, part of her was almost sad about it, and she didn't really know why.

* * *

"Quinn!" Rachel said, stopping in her tracks when she walked out of the theater and saw her.

"I hope you don't mind," Quinn said with a soft smile.

Rachel shook her head. "I just—I wasn't expecting you. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I didn't want to distract you," Quinn replied.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Rachel asked.

"I took a half day." Quinn shrugged. "I had a few errands and, well, I wanted to see you perform, and then I thought we could go to lunch. You were amazing, by the way."

Rachel smiled. "Thank you. That's really—wait. How do you know? It was a closed audition."

"Security guys are easy," Quinn said with a slight smirk.

"Did you bribe him?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shrugged again and said, "Not exactly."

"What did you do, Quinn?" Rachel asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Relax," Quinn said, walking up to Rachel, and putting her hands around her waist. "You're not going to get in any trouble. I didn't even tell him who I was here to see. And I just flirted with him a little. I learned a long time ago that guys will do anything you want if they think there's a possibility of anything happening. It's a little pathetic, really."

Rachel opened her mouth to tell Quinn she really shouldn't have done it, but then she realized something. "Does that mean you saw some of my competition?"

Quinn smiled. "Yes."

"How were they?" Rachel asked.

"Not as good as you," Quinn replied. "One was good, but your voice is a lot better, one forgot the words to the song she was doing, and the other one I saw was just bad."

"Bad how?" Rachel wondered.

"She really couldn't sing," Quinn replied.

Rachel smiled but then quickly looked stern again. "I appreciate you wanting to come and support me, Quinn, but you really shouldn't have snuck into the theater."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Come on; you can tell me over lunch how it was a terrible idea. Unless you're busy."

"I'm not busy," Rachel said, pulling Quinn's hand off her hip, and entwining their fingers together. "And I know just the place for us to go."

Rachel led Quinn toward the exit, glancing back at her as she did so. "Thank you, by the way."

"For what?" Quinn asked as she held the door open for her.

"For coming," Rachel replied. "I may not agree with your tactics, but—well, thank you. I've never had someone sneak into a theater to watch me audition."

"Actually, that's not true," Quinn replied.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"I snuck into your NYADA audition," Quinn admitted.

Rachel frowned as she came to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. "You did? Why?"

"Because I knew how much getting into the school meant to you," Quinn replied with a shrug. "I overheard you telling Kurt when it was, and I couldn't not go. I watched you from the balcony, where I knew you would never see me."

Rachel opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She had to beg Finn to her NYADA audition, but apparently Quinn had been unable to stay away from it even though they had been broken up for a year at that point. And she had no idea. She had completely believed at the time that Quinn hadn't cared about her.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, looking concerned.

"Yes, I just—" Rachel wiped the tear that had begun trailing down her cheek, "I had no idea." Rachel shook her head and looked down for a moment before looking back up at Quinn. "Why didn't you ever just say something?"

"The same reason I didn't find you when I moved here," Quinn replied. "You were with Finn and I was still hurt and we would have just fought over the things we'd always fought about. You knowing that I still loved you wouldn't have changed any of that. It probably just would have made it worse."

"Maybe, but do you know how much it hurt still loving you and thinking you didn't really love me?" Rachel asked.

"Probably about as much as loving you and then having you break up with me," Quinn replied.

Rachel sighed. "Do you ever wish you could go back and redo everything?"

"I used to," Quinn replied. "Now, I'm just kind of hoping there's a reason for everything that happened."

"What kind of reason?" Rachel asked.

"Like maybe we needed to go through everything to realize what we had," Quinn replied before glancing around for a moment. "I think we're blocking the sidewalk."

"You're right," Rachel said, looking around, and noticing they were getting some dirty looks from the people having to go around them. "Come on. The restaurant is just around the corner."

* * *

Rachel held up a black dress, tilting her head as she looked at it. It was nice but she shook her head, deciding it wasn't the dress for her, and put it back on the rack. Sighing, she moved to the next batch of dresses but didn't really bother looking at any of them for long. They all had prints on them and she really wanted something a little plainer.

"May I help you?"

"No, I'm just looking," Rachel said to the saleslady, who eyed her for a moment before walking on.

She didn't think she'd ever had such trouble finding a dress before. Then again, she usually wasn't quite so picky. She wanted to make a good impression with Quinn's friends, though, which meant she needed to find the perfect dress. Something not too showy—she didn't want to look like she was trying to upstage the bride's dress—but nice.

Rachel walked over to the wall when a burgundy colored dress caught her eye. It had some lace detailing at the top and a belt around the middle but was otherwise a simple, knee length dress.

"That'll look amazing on you."

Rachel smiled at the sound of Quinn's voice. "I was wondering when you were going to arrive."

"I got held up a little at work," Quinn said, putting her hand on Rachel's waist.

"I think I can forgive you," Rachel replied, turning around, and giving her a kiss. "Do you really like this dress?"

"Yeah," Quinn said, reaching out, and touching the material. "I think it'll look great."

Rachel picked up the dress, the only one left of its kind, which just happened to be in her size. "I think I'll try it on."

Rachel walked to the fitting room and Quinn followed, stopping in the waiting area as Rachel closed the curtain behind her. She quickly undressed and slipped the dress on, looking at herself in the mirror for a moment before stepping out.

"Can you zip it?" she asked, turning her back toward Quinn.

Rachel moved her hair to the side as Quinn walked over. As Quinn zipped the dress up, Rachel looked over her shoulder at the blonde, watching as Quinn's eyes trailed up her back. When she was done, they locked eyes, and Rachel gave her a slight smile before tossing her hair back and walking over to the mirror.

"How does it look?" Rachel asked as she turned to look at the back.

"Perfect," Quinn replied.

"Do you really think so?" Rachel asked.

"If we weren't in public, I would probably take that dress off of you right now," Quinn replied.

"Quinn!" Rachel said, feeling herself blush as she looked around to see if anyone had heard her.

"What?" Quinn asked with a slight smirk.

"I'm just—I'm not used to you saying things like that to me in public," Rachel replied. "I'm not used to _anyone_ saying things like that to me in public."

Finn had certainly enjoyed sex as much as the next guy, but he had never really been one to discuss it or to talk about wanting to take her clothes off. He'd always been more the type to try to start something once they were already in bed.

"It's not like anyone heard me," Quinn said. "And even if they did, it wouldn't be the end of the world."

"I know that," Rachel replied. "I just—"

"What?" Quinn asked when Rachel paused.

Rachel sighed and shook her head. "Nothing. Never mind."

"Are you mad at me for going to your audition?" Quinn asked.

Rachel frowned. "Why are you asking that?"

"Because you've been a little—"

"A little what?" Rachel interrupted.

"Weird," Quinn replied. "Distant. On the phone last night and at lunch on Tuesday, and now you're worried because someone may have overheard me say I want to take your clothes off. I've never known you to be shy, Rachel. Do you just not want people to know we're together? Are we moving too fast for you?"

"I wasn't aware I was being weird," Rachel said.

"You can tell me if you think we're moving too fast," Quinn stated. "Or if you don't want to go to this wedding with me."

Rachel sighed. "I'm just a little nervous, okay? I haven't met any of your friends, and now we're going to a wedding, where a lot of the people you went to college with are going to be. That doesn't mean I don't want to go, though."

"And that's all it is?" Quinn asked.

"What else would it be?" Rachel asked back.

Quinn shrugged. "You tell me."

"I'm fine, Quinn," Rachel replied. "I'm simply a little stressed at the moment with everything going on at work and this wedding and my Halloween party. I'm sorry if you think I'm being weird. At least I have one less thing to stress about, though; I'm definitely going to get this dress." She gave Quinn a tight smile. "I'll go change out of so I can buy it and we can go to lunch."

* * *

"Hey," Quinn said, walking up to Rachel, and lightly touching her waist.

"Hi," Rachel said, smiling at her. "Do you two know each other?"

"Yeah, we've met," Quinn replied, looking at Gabby, the woman Rachel had been talking to.

"I'll leave you two alone," Gabby said, looking at Rachel. "Find me before you leave, though, and I'll tell you that story."

"What story is she going to tell you?" Quinn asked, narrowing her eyes at Gabby's back.

"Something about your freshman year," Rachel said, looking at Quinn.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Don't listen to anything she says."

"She's one of your ex-girlfriends, isn't she?" Rachel asked.

"I wouldn't exactly say that," Quinn replied. "We went out a couple times, but I wasn't that interested."

"She still likes you," Rachel stated.

"What makes you think that?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Because I saw how she was looking at you," Rachel replied.

"Come on," Quinn said, taking Rachel's hand.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked as Quinn began walking and pulling her along.

"To dance," Quinn replied.

The song changed as they walked onto the dance floor, and Quinn pulled Rachel into her, putting one hand on the brunette's waist while her other hand was still linked with Rachel's.

_There is something that I see  
__In the way you look at me  
__There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes_

"She's still looking at you," Rachel said, noticing Gabby across the room.

"Let her," Quinn replied.

_What an unexpected way  
__On this unexpected day  
__Could it mean this is where I belong  
__It is you I have loved all along_

Rachel caught Gabby's gaze for a moment, but then the other woman looked away. She felt like she should have realized sooner that Quinn had dated her considering how Gabby had talked about Quinn. She hadn't anticipated running into one of Quinn's exes, but she wasn't entirely surprised. As far as she could tell, nearly all of the younger people at the wedding had gone to Columbia.

_There's no more mystery  
__It is finally clear to me  
__You're the home my heart searched for so long  
__And it is you I have loved all along_

"Do you realize this is the first time we've ever danced together in public?" Rachel said, glancing at Quinn before looking around the room.

"I know," Quinn replied.

Rachel couldn't help thinking about all the school dances she hadn't been able to go to with Quinn. And how she had to watch Quinn dancing with other people at them.

_There were times I ran to hide  
__Afraid to show the other side  
__Alone in the night without you  
_

"Rachel?" Quinn softly said.

Rachel looked up at her but didn't say anything.

"I hope you know one of my biggest regrets is that we never got to do this in high school," Quinn said. "I hated having to go with Sam to that homecoming dance when you're the one I wanted to spend it with."

"You have no idea how much I hated watching you with him," Rachel replied, sighing.

"I have some idea," Quinn said.

_But now I know just who you are  
__And I know you hold my heart  
__Finally this is where I belong  
__And it is you I have loved all along_

Rachel put her head on Quinn's shoulder and took a deep breath. "I still remember when we danced in the choir room. I think that's the first and only time we ever danced together. After we broke up, I could never listen to Truly Madly Deeply without crying."

"You too?" Quinn asked.

"Finn always wondered why I turned it off every time it came on the radio," Rachel said, smiling sadly.

"What did you tell him?" Quinn asked.

"That I'd rather not talk about it," Rachel said. "I didn't want to lie to him, but I certainly couldn't tell him the reason."

_There's no more mystery  
__It is finally clear to me  
__You're the home my heart searched for so long  
__And it is you I have loved all along_

"You know, as much as I hated going to that dance with Sam, I think that was actually the best night of my life," Quinn said.

"Why?" Rachel asked, looking up at her questioningly.

"You don't remember?" Quinn asked.

Rachel pushed her lips together and then nodded, whispering, "I remember."

_Over and over, I'm filled with emotion  
__Your love, it rushes through my veins  
__And I am filled with the sweetest devotion  
__As I, I look into your perfect face_

"That was the first time someone told me they loved me and I actually believed them," Quinn said, locking eyes with her.

"I was afraid I had scared you away," Rachel remembered. "I didn't think you were going to say it back. I was afraid I'd made a mistake."

"You should have known I loved you too," Quinn said. "I hate that you ever doubted that."

_There's no more mystery  
__It is finally clear to me  
__You're the home my heart searched for so long  
__And it is you I have loved  
__It is you I have loved  
__It is you I have loved all along_

"Another dance?" Quinn asked when the song ended and another began.

Rachel looked up at Quinn for a moment and then nodded, smiling softly. "I'd love to."

* * *

**The song was It Is You (I Have Loved) by Dana Glover.**


	29. Girlfriend

**Chapter 29 – Girlfriend**

"Come in!" Rachel called out.

Rachel heard the door open as she stood on her tippy toes, stretching as high up as she could to put the strand of lights up. It was taking a lot longer than she had expected, and she was beginning to get a little frustrated with it. She'd hoped to already be done with the lights so she could move on to decorating the rest of the apartment, but it was difficult when she was so short and constantly had to move the chair she was using as a makeshift ladder.

"Hi," she said when she looked over her shoulder and saw Quinn watching her.

"Need any help?" Quinn asked.

"You have no idea," Rachel replied, sighing.

"Why don't you let me do that," Quinn said as she took off her coat. "I can probably reach it a little better."

"Thank you," Rachel said, grateful to have the help. "I still need to finish putting out the rest of the decorations and make the rest of the cookies and set out the food before people begin to arrive."

"How many people are coming tonight?" Quinn asked.

"I'm not really sure," Rachel replied. "I know some people already had plans and others said they could only stop by for a little while. My guess is a few dozen. Nothing too extreme, but it should be a fairly good turnout considering it was kind of short notice. If it goes well, I'm thinking about making it an annual event. I already have the decorations, after all; it would be a waste to only use them once."

The oven timer went off and Rachel walked into the kitchen to check on the cookies that had been baking. She pulled them out and set the cookie sheet on the rack to cool before grabbing the second sheet of unbaked cookies and putting them in the oven.

"How many more do you have to fix?" Quinn asked.

"Two more batches," Rachel said, looking over her shoulder at Quinn, who was standing on the chair she'd been using. "I also have sandwiches and some other snacks, but I figured everyone likes cookies, right?"

"Yeah," Quinn replied, easily hanging up the strand of lights.

Rachel huffed. "Tall people make everything look so easy."

"I'm not that tall," Quinn replied. "You're just that short."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at Quinn, who just gave her an amused smile. "I hope you know I don't appreciate jokes about my height. Or lack thereof."

"Just so you know, I like that you're short," Quinn said.

"Only because you like to be the taller one in the relationship," Rachel replied.

Quinn's eyebrow rose and Rachel saw her smile before stepping off the chair and moving it several feet to the side. She knew it was because she'd used the word 'relationship', which was the first time either of them had really acknowledged what they had as one. Rachel no longer knew what else to call it, though. Going on dates with each other was one thing, but it felt like things had changed a bit when she went to the wedding with Quinn. It almost felt like they were declaring that they were together now.

"You know, you should really buy one of those small ladders," Quinn remarked.

"I know," Rachel said with a sigh. "It never really occurred to me, though, and I never needed it before. Finn was always tall enough to reach anything I could possibly need."

"Yeah, well, you're no longer living with a giant," Quinn replied.

"I'm sure I'll buy one eventually," Rachel said. "Possibly tomorrow when I have to take all of these lights down."

"Or I could help with that," Quinn replied. "When I get off work. Or in the morning."

"Are you saying you're going to spend the night, Quinn Fabray?" Rachel asked with a tiny smile.

"Only if you want me to," Quinn replied.

Rachel bit her lip as she thought about Quinn spending the night. They had only slept together twice since they had begun going out and that had been a week ago. It had been obvious that Quinn wanted her to stay over on Saturday night, after the wedding, but Rachel had just been too tired and not entirely in the right frame of mind for it.

"I hope to have everyone out by midnight, one at the latest," Rachel said, glancing over at Quinn. "People should start arriving around eight, probably a little after, the murder mystery is at nine and should take an hour, and then that'll give everyone about two hours to mingle. After that—" Rachel shrugged.

"After that what?" Quinn asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"After that we try to subtly get everyone to vacate and then we have our own fun," Rachel said, giving Quinn a smile.

* * *

"You're out of ice," Stephanie said, stopping next to Rachel, and tugging at her witch's hat.

"How?" Rachel asked with a sigh. "The party just started, and I had so much."

Stephanie shrugged. "You don't want to know. I told Nick to go buy some more, though."

"Thank you," Rachel said, grateful for the help. "I just hope he's back before the murder mystery game. It's going to be a lot of fun."

"I doubt he would miss it," Stephanie replied. "You know him—he'd never miss an opportunity to be dramatic."

Rachel laughed. "You're right. And we all know how much he loves a competition. It's just unfortunate that I have to host it rather than participate. I think I would certainly give him a run for his money."

"Do you know you're out of ice?" Quinn asked, coming up behind them.

"Yes, thank you," Rachel replied. "Stephanie just let me know. Someone is out getting more right now."

Quinn nodded and glanced at Stephanie before looking back at Rachel. "I'll let you get back to whatever you were talking about."

"She doesn't like me very much, does she?" Stephanie asked as Quinn walked away.

"I wouldn't say that," Rachel replied. "She doesn't really know you well enough to like or dislike you."

"Yeah, she hates me," Stephanie said.

"Quinn is just—she's not always very open to people," Rachel explained. "I'm sure she has nothing against you. She probably just doesn't know what to think about you yet. She's cautious. Trust me; I know what Quinn is like when she hates someone. You would certainly know it if she hated you."

"Hey, who's the blonde?"

"Which blonde?" Rachel asked.

Rachel tried not to show her annoyance at the interruption. She had been disappointed to see that Lee had come to the party, but she couldn't very well invite everyone else in the production and exclude him. She had instantly disliked the dark-haired man from the moment she met him, and nothing had really changed her opinion of him since then.

"The one you were just talking to," Lee said. "I was thinking maybe you could introduce me."

Stephanie snorted into her drink and Rachel frowned, glancing across the room at Quinn, who had stopped by the refreshment table and was picking up some stray trash.

"That's Quinn," Rachel answered, trying to keep her voice even. "My girlfriend."

It was the first time she had used the word aloud, and it felt a little strange to say after she'd spent so many years making sure that word didn't slip out of her mouth. Now that they were dating again and she was free to use it, it just felt weird to be able to say it. And she wasn't even sure it was necessarily the correct term for them.

"Ten bucks says he still goes over and hits on her," Stephanie said as she watched Lee cross the room.

"I don't doubt it," Rachel replied. "I should probably warn her. I'll be right back"

Rachel followed after Quinn, who was walking into the kitchen. When she walked in, Quinn was throwing the things she'd picked up into the garbage can, and Rachel said, "You really don't have to do that. You should enjoy the party."

Quinn shrugged. "It's fine."

"I thought I should warn you that one of my cast mates was inquiring about you," Rachel said. "I told him you were my girlfriend, but I doubt that will stop him from hitting on you. I just thought I should let you know so you'll be prepared."

"I think I can handle him." Quinn replied. "It won't be the first time."

Rachel nodded and gave Quinn a smile. "I just thought you would like to know."

"Is that what I am now?" Quinn asked as Rachel turned to walk back to Stephanie. "Because I didn't really know what to say when people asked me who I am and how I know you. I didn't want to assume, and you haven't exactly said where we stand."

"Honestly, I didn't really think about it when I said it," Rachel replied. "It's just kind of came out. But, yes. Unless you would prefer I refer to you as something else."

Quinn shook her head as a smile appeared on her face. "I'm okay with that."

"I, um, I told Stephanie I would be right back, so—"

"I'll talk to you in a little bit," Quinn said.

Rachel nodded and started away but stopped and leaned up, giving Quinn a kiss. When she pulled away, she shrugged and, with a smile, said, "In case anyone was still wondering who you are."

* * *

"I would like to thank everyone for coming tonight," Rachel said when she had everyone's attention. "I know it was short notice, but I thought it would be nice for us to have one last gathering before our final week of shows." She gave them a sad smile. "I know a lot of you have been in this business for a while, but this was my first show and I will always hold a special place for it in my heart, along with every one of you who have made the show possible. Like the rest of you, I'm sad it's going to be over far too soon. It's truly been a pleasure working with and getting to know each of you."

Rachel nodded and received several hugs as everyone went back to what they had been doing before she'd asked for their attention. She knew there would be plenty of speeches after their final show, but she wanted to let everyone know she was thankful they were there. Plus, she knew she probably would get to say a lot on Friday with so many other people.

"Are you okay?"

Rachel nodded as she turned to look at Quinn. "I'm fine. A little sad, I'll admit, but okay."

"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I'm going to go," Stephanie said, tapping Rachel's elbow.

"Are you sure you can't stay a little longer?" Rachel asked.

"I told Matt I was leaving, like, thirty minutes ago," Stephanie said. "Woops."

Rachel laughed. "I understand. I'm really happy you came."

"Me too," Stephanie replied. "It was a good party. And even if it hadn't been, seeing Nick's face when he realized I was right about the killer would have made it all worth it."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Rachel said. "Tell Matt I wish he could have come."

"I will," Stephanie replied. "Goodnight. And goodnight to you, Quinn."

"Night," Quinn said.

Stephanie looked at Quinn and raised her eyebrow slightly before turning on her heel and walking toward the front door.

"You know, Quinn, you could be a little nicer to her," Rachel said as soon as Stephanie was out of earshot. "She is my friend, after all."

"I didn't know I was being mean to her," Quinn remarked.

"I didn't say you were being mean," Rachel replied. "I just wish you would give her a chance. I think you two would get along if you tried. She thinks you hate her."

Quinn sighed. "Fine. I'll make sure I talk to her the next time I see her."

"Thank you," Rachel replied. "I'm not saying you two have to be friends, but it would be nice if you could at least get along with her."

"I don't have a problem with her, Rachel," Quinn said. "I don't know her enough to."

"I'm not saying you do," Rachel replied.

"It sounds like you are," Quinn said.

"I just want you to get along with my friends," Rachel replied. "It may seem silly, but it's important to me. In high school, there was a such a divide between us and our friends, and I don't want that again. My friends don't have to become your friends, but I at least want us to all be able to be in the same room with each other. I don't want to have to worry about that again."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said. "I didn't—I'll try to talk to her next time, okay?"

Rachel nodded and then looked around the room. "What do you think of everyone else? I noticed you've been mingling a lot tonight."

"They're okay," Quinn answered with a shrug. "That Lee guy is an ass, though."

Rachel laughed. "He's the one I warned you about."

"I figured," Quinn replied. "He wouldn't leave me alone until I threatened to make sure he had no reason to flirt with a girl ever again. I hope you don't care."

Rachel shook her head. "I have no problem with you not getting along with him. He's the one person I hope to never have to see again once the show is over." Rachel glanced around the room again and then looked over at Quinn. "It looks like people are beginning to leave."

"Yeah," Quinn agreed. "It does."

"Just in time," Rachel said. "Maybe everyone will be out by one like I hoped."

Quinn smiled. "Do you still want me to stay over?"

"If you still want to stay over," Rachel replied. "I would understand if you're tired and would like to get home. You have been here since leaving work."

"I'll live," Quinn said. "Although, I may want to think about keeping a change of clothes here. I'll have to get up kind of early if I don't want to be late for work tomorrow."

"I'm sure I can find the space in one of the drawers," Rachel commented, giving Quinn a smile.

* * *

Rachel was still throbbing as she laid back on her bed with a deep, shuddering breath. She felt Quinn do the same next to her, and when she looked over at her, Quinn had her eyes closed and a contented smile on her face.

"That was—have I ever told you how good you are at that?" Rachel asked.

Quinn laughed lightly and looked over at her. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Do you remember the first time we did that?" Rachel asked, pulling the sheet up, and rolling onto her side.

"Do you really think I could forget?" Quinn asked back. "I was nervous going over to your house that night. I was afraid you'd be disappointed with me."

"There was nothing disappointing about that night," Rachel replied. "Well, until I decided to open my big mouth afterward and bring up the prom."

"That did derail the night a little," Quinn said, giving Rachel a soft smile.

Rachel sighed. "I always wished I had waited to say something."

"And I always wished I could have said I would go to the prom with you," Quinn replied. "You have no idea how much I would have liked to have been able to go with you."

"It's okay," Rachel said, reaching out, and entwining her hand with Quinn's. "After meeting your mother, I actually understand why you couldn't. I'm sorry I couldn't have been more understanding then."

"I think we're both sorry for a lot of things," Quinn remarked. "We just need to forgive each other for those things. We probably need to forgive ourselves for them too."

Rachel didn't disagree with Quinn. She wanted to forgive Quinn for everything, and she was trying to work on it. After being angry and hurt for so long, though, it wasn't always easy. Sometimes she wondered if she would always have lingering feelings of resentment or if she would actually be able to completely forget everything one day. She was trying, so she at least considered that a step forward from where she had been.

"I'm trying, Quinn," Rachel said after a few moments.

"I didn't say you weren't," Quinn replied. "I know you are."

Rachel sighed and released Quinn's hand, turning onto her back.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied. "It's just been a long day."

"Is that your way of asking me to shut up and go to sleep?" Quinn asked. "Or to go home?"

"No," Rachel quickly replied. "I want you to stay and I'm more than okay with you talking. Although, I can't promise you scintillating conversation on my part."

"Did you at least have fun tonight?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah," Rachel said, smiling. "I'm really glad I threw the party even if it was a little last minute. I'm certainly thinking about doing it again next year since I would call this year a success. What about you? Did you enjoy yourself? I know you didn't really know anyone at the party."

Quinn shrugged. "I was fine. And, yeah, I liked it."

"I'm surprised you didn't participate in the murder mystery game," Rachel commented. "I'm sure you would have won if you had."

"I didn't want everyone thinking I only won because I'm dating you," Quinn replied.

"Why would people think that?" Rachel asked.

"Because when most people meet me, they think I'm just a dumb blonde," Quinn replied.

"Quinn, anyone who speaks to you for even a minute can tell how intelligent you are," Rachel said, rolling over to look at Quinn again. "You should have played and shown them just how smart you are. They may not know you, but everyone here knows me, and they should know I would never let anyone cheat on a game I'm hosting. And if anyone had said anything, I most certainly would have set the record straight."

"Don't worry about it, okay?" Quinn replied. "I had fun tonight."

"Okay." Rachel paused for a moment and then slid over, putting her head on Quinn's shoulder and her arm around her waist. "Thank you for helping me tonight. I don't know if I could have done it without you. I definitely know stringing the lights would have taken much longer."

"You're welcome," Quinn replied, resting her hand on Rachel's side.

"I mean it, Quinn," Rachel said, lifting her head to look at the blonde. "Thank you for helping me and—thank you for being here. Not just at the party, but _here_."

Rachel knew she hadn't made it easy on Quinn over the past months, and the fact that she was still there meant a lot to Rachel. If it was anyone else, she doubted they would have stayed around, but Quinn had. Quinn was there and she didn't seem like she was going to try to go away anytime soon. And Rachel didn't want her to.

* * *

Rachel smiled at Quinn as she walked into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around her. She had offered to let Quinn borrow something out of her closet rather than having to get up so early, and Quinn had decided to take her up on her offer, giving them enough time to actually eat breakfast before she had to go to work.

"I hope waffles are okay," Rachel said, looking over her shoulder as Quinn sat down. "I'm afraid I don't have a lot left in my refrigerator after cleaning it out to put all the food for the party in there. I should probably do some food shopping today, but I think I may wait until Saturday. It isn't as if I'm going to have anything else to do that day."

"How are you doing with that?" Quinn asked. "You haven't really been talking about it."

Rachel sighed. "I don't know. I'm sad, but I don't know if it's fully sunk in yet that our last show is Friday. I mean, I know it is, but I don't think it's really going to hit me until after it's all over and I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I just hope I'm able to find something soon. I don't like sitting around with no purpose in life. I want to be out there entertaining people every night."

"You will," Quinn replied. "It just may take a little time."

Rachel sighed again; she didn't want it to take time. She knew she had chosen a difficult and uncertain industry, but that didn't make her feel any better about it taking so long to get a new role. She'd really hoped to have one lined up by the time Always was over, but that didn't look like it was going to happen.

She was doing her best to stay positive, though. She was sad that the show was coming to an end, but it meant she would actually have more free time to audition and to prepare for those auditions. And maybe she would get an even better role in her next show. Maybe she would even get the lead this time, which was her real dream. As happy as she was just being in a Broadway show, she knew she would be even happier if she was the star of it.

"I wonder who that is," Rachel said with a frown when there was a knock on her door.

"Maybe someone forgot something last night," Quinn suggested with a shrug.

"Maybe," Rachel replied. "Someone did leave their scarf on the coffee table last night."

Rachel walked to the front door, grabbing the scarf from where she'd hung it on the hook, figuring that must be who was knocking. Considering it was early on a Tuesday morning, she couldn't imagine who else it could be. When she opened the door, though, it definitely was not the owner of the scarf.

"Are you going to give your fathers a hug?" Hiram asked with a smile.

"What—what are you two doing here?" Rachel asked, looking between the two men once she regained her voice.

"You didn't think we would miss your last show, did you?" Leroy said.

Rachel walked forward, straight into her fathers' arms. She hadn't expected them to come since it wasn't as if it was a celebratory time like when she debuted in the show, but she was happy they were there.

"Do I smell pancakes?" Hiram asked when she finally pulled away.

"Waffles, actually," Rachel replied. "I was just making them when you knocked."

"I think you said the magic word," Leroy said with a laugh when Hiram's eyes lit up and he walked into the apartment. "You know waffles are his greatest weakness."

"I can't believe you're here," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"We thought it would be nice to surprise you," Leroy replied. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Rachel said, smiling at him. "I'm happy you could come."

"Honey," Hiram called out. "Did you forget to tell us something?"

Rachel closed her eyes with a groan. With the arrival of her fathers, she'd completely forgotten that Quinn was sitting in the kitchen in nothing but a towel.

"What are you—hello," Leroy said before turning to look at Rachel as she joined them. "Sweetie, is there something you would like to tell us?"

Rachel gave Quinn, who looked like a deer in the headlights, an apologetic smile. This wasn't how she wanted to tell her fathers about Quinn, and it certainly wasn't how she wanted to introduce them. Unfortunately, it didn't look like she was going to have a lot of choice.

"Dad, Daddy, this is Quinn," Rachel said. "Quinn, these are my fathers." She glanced at Quinn and the back to her fathers. "Quinn is my girlfriend."


	30. Concerns

**Chapter 30 – Concerns**

Rachel would be the first to admit that she was a highly emotional person, so it came as no surprise that she had tears running down her cheeks as the curtain went down on her show for the final time. She immediately felt a pair of arms wrap around her, and she knew it was Stephanie by the way she smelled. A few moments later, another pair of arms wrapped around them both, and when they broke apart, she saw that it had been Nick, who was also crying.

There were a lot of goodbyes and promises to keep in touch, though Rachel knew was unlikely to happen. She figured she would remain friends with Stephanie and maybe a few other people, but she knew from personal experience that people tended to drift apart once they were no longer forced to see each other every day.

By the time Quinn and Rachel's fathers had made their way backstage, Rachel was working on pulling herself together. Her eyes were still red, but she was trying to undo some of the damage her tears had done to her makeup.

"You were amazing tonight, honey," Hiram said.

"You were flawless," Leroy gushed.

"Thank you," Rachel said, looking at them in the mirror, and giving them a smile.

She glanced at Quinn, who had a smile on her face, but Rachel could tell it was an uncomfortable one. Not that Rachel could really blame her. She'd gotten dressed and left pretty quickly once Rachel's fathers arrived, skipping the breakfast Rachel had made. Rachel had tried to assure her there was no reason to be embarrassed; they were all adults, after all. Although, Rachel knew she would have been too if the roles were reversed, so she couldn't really fault her for wanting to get out of the apartment as fast as possible.

Thankfully for Quinn, Rachel's fathers had purchased their own tickets, so they had sat far away from her during the show. As nice and welcoming as her fathers were, she knew it would be awkward for them to spend time alone together having met the way they had. Rachel was just thankful they hadn't begun asking too many questions about their relationship yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they brought it up.

"Do you have any plans or can you come to dinner with your fathers?" Hiram asked.

"Well, Quinn and I were planning on going to dinner together, but since you too arrived, we thought it would be nice if we all went," Rachel replied.

Quinn's eyebrow rose slightly. She knew if it was up to Quinn, they would have simply postponed going out to dinner until the two men were back in Ohio. Rachel, however, thought they should go out to dinner together. She didn't want their only memory of Quinn to be meeting her in a towel and then her rushing out after obviously spending the night with their daughter.

"Great," Leroy said. "We can get to know your girlfriend a little better."

"Yes, since we really don't know anything about her," Hiram added, giving Rachel a pointed look.

Rachel sighed. "I told you I was sorry for not telling you I was seeing someone new."

She knew she was going to have a lot more to apologize for soon enough. She was going to have to tell her fathers everything before they left, and she knew it was going to hurt them. She just hoped they would understand why she lied to them and that they wouldn't hate Quinn for it. They had never been particularly fond of Finn, though they usually tried to keep their opinions to themselves, and she didn't want it to be like that with Quinn.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," Rachel said. "I'm just going to fix my makeup."

"Do you want us to wait here?" Leroy asked.

"How about I meet you in the lobby?" Rachel suggested. "I thought I would pick up a few things from the merchandise stand before leaving."

Leroy smiled. "Funny. We were going to do the same."

"Well, then, Quinn and I will meet you out there in a few minutes," Rachel said.

"Text us if you can't find us," Hiram said, kissing the top of his daughter's head.

Rachel let out a sigh the moment her fathers had closed the door behind them. "This is going to be a long night, isn't it?"

"You're the one who's always wanted me to meet your fathers," Quinn remarked.

"Yes, well, I hadn't envisioned it happening like this," Rachel replied.

"You mean you didn't want them to meet me when I'm half naked after having sex with you only an hour before?" Quinn asked.

"That wasn't part of the plan, no," Rachel replied.

"Do you want me to not come?" Quinn asked. "Because I would—"

"You are not getting out of dinner, Quinn Fabray," Rachel said, cutting her off.

"You can't blame me for trying," Quinn replied, sitting on the edge of the vanity, and giving her a soft smile.

* * *

"So, how long have you two been dating?" Hiram asked when their waitress left the table after dropping off their drinks.

"Well—" Rachel opened and closed her mouth several times.

"Okay, apparently that's a complicated question," Hiram said.

"Is this why you left Finn?" Leroy asked.

"No!" Rachel quickly replied. "Of course not. I can assure you, I never cheated on Finn. And I didn't leave Finn; I simply asked for some time. I needed to deal with the past before I could move forward."

She clasped her hands together on top of the table and glanced between her fathers. "Okay. Quinn and I—we went to high school together and we dated for a while then. When we broke up, I was a bit of a mess. Since high school ended and I began dating Finn again, I thought I had moved past everything, but seeing her again at the reunion brought back some things that I thought were buried."

"How long is a while?" Leroy asked.

"What?" Rachel asked back.

"You said you dated for a while," Leroy said. "How long?"

"A-A little over a year," Rachel answered.

Her fathers were both silent and she could see them trying to process what she'd said. As far as they had known, she was straight and had only ever been in one long term relationship, and now they were finding out how neither of those things was true.

"When?" Hiram asked.

"I think you and I can both guess when," Leroy said, looking at his husband. "Or we can at least guess when they broke up."

"Yes, I'm sure you can," Rachel agreed.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" Hiram asked, his voice rising. "We were so worried about you, and we couldn't even figure out what happened. We asked and asked and you never said anything."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said. "It was my fault she didn't tell you. I was so afraid my parents would find out that I wouldn't let her tell anyone. She wanted to tell you."

"Quinn's parents are quite homophobic and they would have kicked her out if they ever found out about us," Rachel explained. "Or even worse. That's why we didn't tell anyone. Kurt was the first person to find out, and I only told him on the way to the reunion because I couldn't keep it in any longer."

"And now?" Leroy asked. "How long have you two been dating now?"

"Not long. After Finn and I broke up, I went to see Quinn," Rachel said, hoping they didn't ask her to elaborate. "We didn't really go on a date until about 6 weeks ago, and we didn't officially become a couple until just the other night. I was going to tell you about us, but I knew I was going to have to tell you everything, so I kept putting it off. I didn't want you to be disappointed or angry with me for lying to you before. I'm sorry. I was going to tell you soon; I just didn't expect you to show up and find out like this."

Rachel could tell that her fathers _were_ angry with her even if they didn't really say it. She knew them well enough to see it, though. They rarely ever got angry with her, but she could always see it in their eyes when they did, and she hated it. She hated thinking she'd let them down after they'd done so much for her.

"Well, Quinn, it seems like you've been in my daughter's life longer than I thought," Hiram remarked. "So, what do you do?"

"I work at a publishing company," Quinn replied. "I'm an editorial assistant."

"How long have you lived here?" Hiram asked.

"I moved here to go to Columbia," Quinn answered.

Hiram nodded. "That's a good school."

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"Leroy got into Columbia," Hiram commented. "Thankfully, he decided not to leave Ohio or we never would have met and we wouldn't all be here having this very awkward conversation."

Rachel couldn't help laughing, and even Quinn cracked a smile. Leroy's face, however, remained the same, which was a little surprising. Out of her fathers, she'd expected Hiram to be the one to get the most upset about everything, but at least he was making an effort. She just hoped Leroy wasn't going to be upset with her for too long. They were only going to be there until Monday, and she really didn't want him to be angry with her the whole time.

* * *

"Are you ever going to speak to me again?" Rachel asked with a sigh as she followed her fathers into her living room.

"What do you want me to say?" Leroy asked.

"I want you to not be angry with me," Rachel replied. "You have to understand why I did it. I was in love with her, and I knew everything would end if anyone ever found out about us. I swear I would have told you if I hadn't promised Quinn I wouldn't. It's why Quinn and I finally broke up. I hated lying to everyone more than you know."

"But you still did it," Leroy stated. "For years. Did you really think we would tell anyone if you asked us not to?"

"No, of course not!" Rachel replied. "But it wasn't just my secret to tell. It was Quinn's, too. I knew you would love me no matter what, but she couldn't say the same thing about her parents. When she finally came out to them, her father told her he never wanted to see her again and forbid her mom from seeing her as well. Her parents divorced because of it."

Rachel sighed. "Even though I went along with her wishes, I always thought she was overreacting. I could see why she wouldn't want me to tell Kurt, who _was_ one of the biggest gossips in school, but I didn't understand why I couldn't tell you two. But I understand now that she couldn't trust the adults in her life, so why would she feel like she could trust you? That being said, I don't want you to blame her for this; she isn't that person anymore. I was angry with her for a very long time, but I'm working on getting over it. She isn't a scared teenager anymore; she's changed."

"I just don't get it," Leroy said. "You were engaged to Finn and then you move on just like that."

"That's not true," Rachel replied. "The past three months have been incredibly difficult for me. I was very depressed for a while. I hated that I hurt Finn and then that I ended up hurting Quinn. I love Finn and I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with him, but I can't say that I ever loved him the way I loved Quinn. Yet I was still going to stay with him because I was afraid of putting my heart at risk again.

"I really thought I was over Quinn, but then I kept running into her and I got angrier every time I saw her. It was Kurt and Stephanie that made me see that I wouldn't be so angry if I had truly moved past everything that happened during high school. I didn't mean to hurt Finn. I just wanted some time apart to try to clear my head."

"Does he even know any of this?" Hiram asked.

Rachel shook her head. "I couldn't tell him without outing Quinn. But now that I know she's okay with it, I intend on telling him everything. That is if he ever speaks to me again."

Leroy sighed but didn't say anything as he sat down on the couch.

"Look, I know you have every right to be angry that I lied to you for so long, but the last thing I wanted was to hurt anyone, especially you," Rachel said. "I did what I had to do even if it wasn't something I liked doing. And I really was going to tell you soon; it's just been—I'm trying not to rush into this too quickly. I know what happened to me the last time, and I don't know if I could make it through that again. I don't want another broken heart. Telling you would make it feel like I'm really doing this again."

"I'm not happy that you lied to us, especially when I suspect you used those Thursday nights when we were gone for activities I would not approve of in our house, but I'm not so old that I don't remember what high school was like," Hiram said. "And considering I know who Quinn's parents are, I understand why she would be afraid. We've had more than one unpleasant run in with Mr. Fabray ourselves."

Rachel frowned. "You have?"

"Unfortunately," Leroy replied.

"I'm really sorry I didn't tell you the truth, but you know how much I hate to break a promise," Rachel said. "Even after we broke up, I still kept my promise to her. Like I said, the only reason I finally broke down and told Kurt was because I just couldn't keep it in any longer. I'd had a lot of anxiety about seeing her at the reunion and I needed someone to talk to."

"We'll talk about this more in the morning," Leroy said, standing up. "It's been a long day, and I need to get some rest."

Rachel nodded. "Okay. I'll let you get to sleep."

"Goodnight," Leroy said. "I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy," Rachel replied.

"Don't worry too much about your father," Hiram said when Leroy was in the other room. "He's upset, but he'll get over it soon enough."

Rachel gave him a sad smile. "I hope so."

* * *

"Hey," Quinn softly said as Rachel walked up to the table. "You look tired."

"That's because I am tired," Rachel said with a sigh before leaning down and kissing Quinn. "Kurt's old bed is almost as terrible as having to sleep on the couch. I don't know how he ever slept on that thing. It gives my back absolutely no support and I'm constantly waking up in the middle of the night. I guess it's a good thing I don't have to perform every night because I don't know if I would be able to make it."

"One more night, right?" Quinn replied.

"Yes, my fathers are leaving in the morning," Rachel said. "Don't get me wrong, I love having them here, but it'll be nice to have my bed again."

"Do you think you'll feel like having dinner tomorrow night?" Quinn asked. "You could come over to my place if you don't feel like spending the evening out. We can order takeout or I can cook."

"That sounds great," Rachel replied, giving her a smile.

She hadn't really seen a lot of Quinn since her fathers arrived, and as much as she missed having her fathers around, she was also looking forward to things going back to normal again. Well, relatively normal. With her fathers there, she hadn't really had a lot of time to dwell on the fact that she was now unemployed, and she knew it was going to hit her as soon as they were gone.

"So, how are things going?" Quinn asked.

Rachel sighed. "Things are still a little tense. I can tell Daddy is still a little upset with, and I hate that there isn't really anything I can do about it. I've explained it all to him and I hoped he would understand, but I don't know if he does."

"He must be thrilled you're dating me again," Quinn said, giving her a wry smile.

"I made it very clear that neither of them should blame you for it," Rachel stated. "I don't want them to hate you before they even get to know you. They were nice to Finn, but they were never his biggest fan, and I would like it if things could be different this time."

"Did you tell them everything?" Quinn asked. "Your fathers?"

"Not everything, no," Rachel replied. "I mean, they knew back then that you had bullied me, so I didn't feel the need to remind them. I didn't exactly go into great detail, but they know the highlights of what happened." She cleared her throat. "Apparently my fathers have had a run in with your father, so at least Dad said he understands why you were afraid of your parents finding out about us."

"What kind of run in?" Quinn asked.

"They didn't say," Rachel replied. "Given how my fathers are not afraid to appear as a married couple in public, though, I can imagine it had to do with that."

Quinn sighed. "Sadly, it doesn't surprise me."

"I don't think I've ever said it, but I'm really sorry you had to grow up like that, Quinn," Rachel said. "I can't imagine what it would be like to know my parents' love was conditional. To know they would hate me if they ever discovered who I really was. I should have been more supportive when we were together. I was just so wrapped up in what I wanted that I didn't really comprehend what the consequences would be like for you. I know you tried to tell me, but I guess I didn't really listen."

"High school was a long time ago, Rachel," Quinn replied. "I know you're sorry and you know I'm sorry, so why don't we just move on from it? We need to stop beating ourselves up for something that happened when we were sixteen."

"You're right," Rachel said. "I know we both need to move on from it, but sometimes that's easier said than done. I'm trying, though."

"I know," Quinn softly replied.

Rachel pushed her lips together as she picked up her menu for the first time. She knew she needed to stop talking about the past, but it was hard when it was still on her mind. She may not feel as angry as she once did and had let a lot of the things go—or at least pushed them aside—but then there were the things that had never left. Part of the reason she couldn't stop thinking about them was because she didn't want to make the same mistakes again. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of what happened in high school.

* * *

Rachel had always enjoyed airports. She liked wondering where the people walking into the airport were going. She liked trying to figure out if people were arriving in New York because it was their home or if they were just visiting. And if they were just visiting, was it their first time or did they come to the city often. Which is why when her fathers had asked if she wanted to join them, she'd jumped at the chance even it wasn't very practical to go all that way just to see them off.

Rather than take the subway, her fathers had opted to take a taxi to the airport. Not that she was surprised; her fathers were not fans of public transportation and rarely rode the subway while they were there. On their first trip there, she had gotten them on it until a man who was clearly inebriated had barely missed throwing up on Hiram's shoes. Since then, her fathers had always insisted on taking a taxi everywhere they went.

"Is our flight still leaving on time?" Leroy asked.

"So far," Hiram said.

As Hiram pocketed his phone, Rachel's vibrated in her hand, and she pulled it out to find a text message from Quinn. Smiling, she sent a quick response back and then glanced at Hiram, who was looking over at her.

"Do you have plans tonight with Quinn?" Hiram asked.

"I do, actually," Rachel replied. "I'm going over to her apartment and she's going to make dinner. She was just asking if I would rather have lasagna or enchiladas."

"And she can cook," Hiram said, smiling.

"Yes, she is a wonderful cook even if she doesn't really think so," Rachel replied.

Rachel's phone buzzed again, and when she looked at it, it was just Quinn confirming the time she was supposed to show up. Rachel sent back an 'I'll be there' and then set her phone on her knee again.

"Can I give you a little fatherly advice?" Hiram asked.

"Always," Rachel replied.

"Be careful," Hiram said.

"Be careful with what?" Rachel asked.

"Quinn," Hiram replied. "I saw you after the last time you two broke up, and I don't ever want to see you like that again. You know I want you to be happy, though, and I can tell she makes you happy. I just thought I should give you some fatherly advice and tell you to be careful, although I'm sure you will be."

"I will be," Rachel replied. "And I know you two probably don't like her very much, but I really want you to give her a chance. I know you didn't necessarily mesh with Finn, but I think you'll like Quinn. I just don't want you to make up your mind about her based on this weekend or what happened in high school."

"We're keeping an open mind, sweetie," Hiram replied. "Right, dear?"

Leroy sighed before saying, "You know we both only want you to be happy. I still wish you would have told us the truth a little sooner, but it's too late for that. And neither of us dislikes Quinn. Like your father said, we just remember what it was like after you and Quinn broke up."

"You don't think I'm not worried about that happening again?" Rachel asked. "I'm terrified of it. I completely lost myself when we broke up and I don't ever want to experience that again. I thought long and hard about whether or not it was worth risking my heart again. I decided I would rather give this a second chance and potentially be happy again. If I didn't, I knew I would always wonder what could have been. Even if this doesn't work out, at least I won't feel like I'm settling for whoever comes along next."

"Then you have our support," Leroy said.

"Thank you," Rachel said, giving her father a grateful smile.

"What are the chances you two will be coming to Lima for the holidays?" Hiram asked.

"I told Stephanie I would join her for Thanksgiving, but I think Quinn said she told her mom she'll spend Christmas with her this year," Rachel replied. "I still haven't decided yet. I guess part of that depends on whether or not I'm still unemployed."

"And the other part?" Leroy asked.

"I-I don't know," Rachel replied. "I suppose I could come."

She didn't really like going to Lima, but the biggest reason she'd avoided it was because she thought Quinn was there. Now that that was no longer a factor, she didn't really have an excuse to avoid the town. And it would be nice to be able to spend a holiday with her fathers. It had been far too long since the last time.

"Does that mean we'll see you again next month?" Hiram asked.

"Yes," Rachel smiled, "I think you will. And maybe you can get to know Quinn a little better."

"We look forward to it," Hiram said, smiling back.


	31. Knock, Knock

**Chapter 31 – Knock, Knock**

"As important as I think the arts are, I have to admit that I don't always understand the appeal of some of it," Rachel said as she and Quinn walked away from one of the paintings in the gallery. "It's good that your workplace supports small galleries such as this one, but I just don't understand the artwork in this place."

"I have to agree," Quinn quietly said. "You should have saved yourself when I told you about it. I definitely wouldn't have come if I didn't have to."

"And make you come without a date?" Rachel asked. "Besides, what else would I have done with my Saturday night?"

"I don't know," Quinn replied. "I'm sure anything would have been more fun than this."

Rachel shrugged. "The company isn't so bad."

Even though she knew she wouldn't really enjoy it, she had been happy to accompany Quinn. She hadn't even known about it until a few days before when she had asked Quinn if she would want to go out that night. When she found out about it, she had been a little surprised that Quinn hadn't asked her to go. And, truthfully, she had also been a little hurt. She couldn't help wondering if Quinn didn't ask her because she didn't want to introduce her to her coworkers. Quinn had quickly told her that it was going to be boring and she was just trying to spare her from it, but let her know she could go if she wanted, and Rachel had jumped at the chance.

Quinn was right about it being boring. The art gallery was very pretentious, as were most of the people in attendance. Thankfully, Quinn's coworkers were a breath of fresh air from the rest of the people, and most of them seemed to have the same opinion of the place as Quinn and Rachel did. Even Quinn's boss had made it clear that he would rather be elsewhere.

"I'll get more champagne," Quinn said, taking Rachel's newly empty glass from her.

As Quinn walked away, Rachel turned to look at the painting behind her. She tilted her head to the right to see if it made any sense from a different angle, but either way, it just looked like a giant splotch of nothing. She even glanced at the name to see if she could figure out what it was supposed to be, but it was titled the very nondescript 'brown on red'.

"Don't try too hard to make sense of it."

Rachel smiled to herself. "I'm afraid I just don't understand the art in this place."

"I don't think anyone does," the man said, walking up beside of her as he stared at the painting. "People pretend they do, but they don't." He turned toward her and held out his hand. "I'm James."

"Rachel," she said, giving him a smile as he gently shook her hand.

"Quinn's girlfriend," he said, giving a knowing nod.

"I—yes," Rachel replied, a little surprised he knew about her.

"She's mentioned you," James said, clearly noticing the surprise on her face. "She's pretty secretive sometimes, but she couldn't hide how happy she's been lately. I finally bugged her until she told me she was dating someone, and then she couldn't really stop talking about you."

Rachel smiled softly as she looked across the room at Quinn.

"I thought she said you weren't going to be here, though," James added.

"She thought she was going to spare me, but I insisted on joining her," Rachel said.

"I can't even bribe my boyfriend to come to these things," James remarked. "Believe me, I've tried."

Rachel laughed. "As lame as it sounds, I've always fantasized about coming to the opening of an art gallery. It always seemed so sophisticated."

"Less sophisticated, more mind-numbingly dull," James said.

"I'm certainly understanding that," Rachel replied.

"Here you are," Quinn said.

"Thank you," Rachel replied, smiling at her girlfriend.

"I see you've met James," Quinn said.

"We were just commiserating," James replied.

Quinn hummed and took a sip of her champagne.

"So, Rachel, it was very nice meeting you," James said, looking at her. "I'll leave you guys to it." He looked at Quinn. "I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah, see you," Quinn replied.

"He seems nice," Rachel said as James walked away. "He said you couldn't stop talking about me."

"James has a big mouth," Quinn replied.

"I'm glad he does," Rachel said. "It was nice to hear. Especially considering—well, you know."

"Do you want to get out of here?" Quinn asked. "I think we've been here long enough. But if you want to stay longer—"

"I'm more than okay with leaving," Rachel interrupted. "I'm getting hungry and these hors d'oeurves aren't really hitting the spot."

"Let's get our coats and maybe we can slip out unnoticed," Quinn said, taking Rachel's hand.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" Rachel asked with a slight pout.

"Of course I want to, but I promised I would meet Jenna for breakfast in the morning," Quinn said.

Rachel sighed. "Okay."

Even though she understood, she was still disappointed. Quinn's friend was only in town for a few days, though, so Rachel couldn't exactly blame her for wanting to see her before she left. She just wished Quinn wasn't meeting her friend so early so she could actually spend the night.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Quinn said.

Rachel nodded and then leaned up, kissing Quinn. It was lingering, but she tried to make sure it wasn't too heated, not wanting to start anything that they wouldn't be able to finish.

"Goodnight, Quinn," Rachel said.

"Night," Quinn replied, giving Rachel another, quick kiss.

As Quinn turned to leave, Rachel pulled her keys out of her purse and opened her front door. When she walked in, she shrugged her coat off and headed for the bedroom, eager to take her shoes off and get into something a little more comfortable. After pulling her high heels off but before she could unzip her dress, she heard a knock on her door. Figuring Quinn had changed her mind about staying the night, she walked into the living room and pulled the door open.

"Hey."

Rachel's mouth opened, but no words came out. After what felt like several minutes, though it was probably only a matter of seconds, she said, "Finn. What—what are you doing here? I thought you were in Lima."

"Yeah, I know," Finn said. "I was, but I just thought I'd take a bus up here. Are you gonna invite me in?"

"Oh, I—" Rachel looked over her shoulder, but she didn't really know what she was looking for. "Yes, of course."

As Finn walked into the apartment, she couldn't help wondering if Kurt knew he was coming and just hadn't told her. If he did, he was certainly going to get an earful the next time they spoke. It was one thing getting a surprise visit from her fathers, but it was an entirely different matter for her ex-fiancé to just show up without warning.

"I was sitting in the coffee place across the street when I saw you come home," Finn commented. "Was that Quinn you were with?"

"Yes, I joined her for the opening of an art gallery," Rachel replied.

Finn's eyebrows furrowed, but if he thought it was weird that they spent their Saturday night together, he didn't say anything. "You've, uh, changed the place."

"Yes," Rachel replied. "I had a Halloween party, so I moved the living room around to maximize space. I liked how it looked, so I decided to keep it that way."

Finn nodded as he took a step toward the living room. "You also changed the pictures on the wall."

Rachel didn't exactly want to say that she changed the pictures on the wall because she took the ones with him in them down, so she asked, "Would like some coffee?"

"Nah," Finn replied. "Any chance you have any beer."

"I think I have some left from the Halloween party," Rachel replied. "They're not cold, though, and they're not the brand you like."

Finn shrugged. "Whatever's fine."

Rachel opened the cabinet and grabbed one of the bottles and set it on the island before grabbing the kettle to make herself some tea.

"Did Kurt know you were coming?" Rachel asked as she filled the kettle up.

"Not until a couple hours ago," Finn answered. "I texted him so they'd know why I didn't show up for dinner."

Rachel wondered if she had a message from Kurt, trying to warn her. She hadn't really thought to check her phone while she was with Quinn. She'd actually put it on silent so their evening wouldn't be disturbed by anyone. Now, she was wishing she hadn't. As much as she'd wanted to talk to Finn—to really talk to him—now that he was here, she didn't know what to say to him.

"I, uh, I heard about your show," Finn said, playing with the bottle in his hands. "That really sucks."

"Yes, we were all quite disappointed," Rachel replied. "I've had a few auditions for other shows, but I haven't gotten anything yet. Hopefully it's only a matter of time. What about you? Kurt mentioned you were working at the garage."

"Yeah," Finn said. "I've been looking for something else, but I'm kinda worried about leaving Burt there alone. And I know Kurt doesn't want me to, so I'll probably end up staying there until everything's okay."

Rachel glanced over her shoulder as she opened the cabinet to grab the tea. She could feel his eyes on her, and when she looked back, he was watching her. Grabbing the box of tea, she turned toward him and asked, "What are you doing here, Finn?"

"I thought we could talk," Finn replied. "Can we do that?"

Rachel hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yes, we can talk."

* * *

"It's getting a little late," Rachel said as she rinsed out her mug.

Despite saying he wanted to talk, he'd said very little, and Rachel hadn't been very inclined to keep the conversation moving. She'd had a great evening with Quinn and having him there was like having a bucket of cold water thrown on her. She had gotten used to Finn no longer being a part of her life, and having him in the apartment again was more than a little strange for her. Now, she just wanted him to go so she could get her bearings back.

"Do you have plans tomorrow?" Finn asked.

"No," Rachel said, turning around to look at him.

"Can we maybe meet up for lunch or something?" Finn asked.

Rachel nodded. "Where did you have in mind?"

"I dunno," Finn said. "I'll figure out a place and let you know."

"Alright," Rachel replied.

"Um, I don't have your number," Finn said. "I, uh, I got a new phone and a new number when I went back to Lima."

"Oh, well, I'll send you a message so you'll have my number," Rachel replied. "I'll be right back; my phone is in my bedroom."

Rachel took a deep breath and slowly released it as she walked into the bedroom. She didn't know what Finn wanted to talk about, but she was a little apprehensive. Regardless of what it was, she figured she owed it to him. Even if he was the one who left, it had been her fault that everything had ended.

As Rachel picked up her phone from the bed, she turned it on and saw the she had several texts from Kurt. Before she could click on the first one, though, there was a knock in the other room, and she froze. She listened closely, trying to see if Finn had just knocked into something or if there was someone at her front door. After a few moments, her question was answered when she saw Finn get up and walk toward the door.

"I'll get that," Rachel said as she hurried out of her bedroom.

"It's okay," Finn replied. "I got it."

Before Rachel could protest, Finn was already opening the door. At first she couldn't see who was on the other side, but then Finn took a step to the side, and Rachel stopped in her tracks.

"Quinn, hey," Finn said.

"Finn," Quinn replied in a monotone voice.

"Quinn—"

"You forgot your wallet in the cab," Quinn said, interrupting her.

"Give me one second," Rachel replied, giving Quinn a pleading look. "Please."

Quinn didn't say anything, but she also didn't move, so Rachel took that as a good sign. Finn, however, took a few steps back, scratching the back of his head with a confused look on his face.

"What's your number, Finn?" Rachel asked.

"Uh, 419-555-3278," Finn answered.

"Great," Rachel quickly replied. "I just sent you a text, so you should have my number."

"I'm staying at Josh's, so I was thinking maybe we can eat somewhere around there," Finn said. "I know he wants to go to the bar tonight, so I might be out kinda late. I'll let you know when I get up and then we can figure out a time and a place for lunch."

"Fine, that's—" Rachel saw movement by the door, and when she looked over, Quinn was gone. "I'll be right back."

"Rach—"

Rachel ran out of the apartment, but by the time she got to the elevator, it was already gone with Quinn inside. Groaning, she ran over to the stairs and hurried down to the first floor as quickly as she could. When she reached the lobby, she glanced toward the elevator, but Quinn had already left it.

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel called out when she saw the blonde walking out the door.

Quinn paused for a moment and then continued walking, but Rachel noticed she had slowed down, and she easily caught up with her.

"I didn't know he was coming," Rachel said once she was only a few yards behind Quinn. "He knocked; I thought you had come back."

"And if you'd known it was him, you wouldn't have answered?" Quinn asked.

"Well, no," Rachel replied. "I'm simply saying I didn't know he was coming. If I had, I would have told you. I was just as surprised as you are." Rachel sighed. "I'm sorry; I can imagine how much you must have hated seeing him there."

"He's only here for a few days," Rachel continued when Quinn didn't say anything. "He asked to talk, so we're going to have lunch tomorrow. As soon as he left, I was going to call and tell you. I don't want you to think I was going to keep this from you. Can you please trust me, Quinn."

"I do trust you," Quinn replied. "I don't know if I trust him."

Rachel reached out and took Quinn's hand. "I'll call you tomorrow."

Quinn nodded and then gave Rachel a quick kiss. "Night. Your wallet's on that little table near the door."

"Thank you for bringing it by," Rachel replied, giving her a soft smile. "Goodnight, Quinn."

* * *

When Finn walked into the restaurant the next day, Rachel was rubbing at a spot on the table that wouldn't come off and was bugging her. As she usually did when she was nervous or under a lot of stress, she had already spent most of the morning cleaning the apartment from top to bottom even though it didn't need it. She had given everything a thorough cleaning after the Halloween party, so it had been more of a way to occupy her than necessity.

"Hey," Finn said as he sat across from her.

"Before we talk about anything else, there's something I need to tell you," Rachel said.

Finn frowned. "Okay."

"I-I'm dating someone," Rachel announced. "I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I needed you to know."

"Is it, like, serious?" Finn asked.

"It's—complicated," Rachel replied.

"Is that your way of saying yes?" Finn asked.

Rachel took a deep breath. "Look, Finn, there's something I should have told you a long time ago, but I promised I never would, so I didn't. Things have changed, though, and I can tell you everything if you want to hear it. If you don't—well, I can't promise you won't hear it from someone else, and I think it would be better if it came from me."

"I'm not going to wanna hear this, am I?" Finn asked.

"Probably not," Rachel replied.

Finn nodded and then asked, "What is it?"

Rachel looked down; she didn't even know where to begin. She wished there was a way to soften the blow, but she knew he was going to feel hurt and betrayed either way.

"I don't think there's any easy way to say this," Rachel said, sighing. "Finn, I'm dating Quinn Fabray, and this isn't the first time we've been in a relationship."

"What?" Finn asked, looking confused.

"Before you and I began dating in high school, I was with Quinn," Rachel stated. "No one knew because she was afraid of what would happen if anyone found out. We began dating during our sophomore year, and we were together for over a year."

"You're joking, right?" Finn asked.

"Do you remember the time you found me crying in the choir room?" Rachel asked. "I was inconsolable. You came in and you hugged me and you took me home."

"Yeah," Finn said.

"I was crying because that was right after Quinn and I broke up," Rachel replied. "That's why I was so emotional during prom and at Nationals. I was heartbroken."

"But you two hated each other," Finn said.

Rachel shook her head. "That was all part of the act. And I never pretended to hate Quinn during high school."

"Wait," Finn said, frowning. "Sophomore year? Like, when I was dating her?"

"Yes," Rachel confirmed. "Quinn broke up with you because I told her it wasn't fair for us to continue on when she was with you."

Finn looked stunned, and Rachel thought he looked like he was finally beginning to believe her.

"I'm sorry I never told you while we were together, but as I said, I promised Quinn I would never tell anyone," Rachel reiterated. "It wasn't until after the reunion that I realized she was out, but by then, I didn't know how to tell you. I had kept it a secret for so long and I knew it would only hurt you. I'm only telling you now because you deserve the truth.

"She's the reason I didn't want to go to the reunion. I didn't want to have to see her again after everything that happened. After we broke up, she acted as if I didn't exist, like I had never meant anything to her, and I can't explain how much that hurt. I hadn't spoken to her since high school, and I had no desire to see her again. I just wanted to get on with my life.

"I planned on ignoring her the way she ignored me; instead, I became angry. And then I ran into her several times, and I got even angrier. I was so mad at her for trying to speak to me, and several people began making me question why I still had so much hostility after all these years." Rachel looked down. "That's why I asked to take a break. It wasn't that I was hoping to be with her; I just needed to clear my head. Everything else just seemed to happen." She looked up. "I didn't cheat on you, though; I need you to know that."

Finn frowned as he shook his head. "You lied to me for years."

"I didn't lie exactly," Rachel said. "I just didn't correct you when you assumed you were the only person I had been in a relationship with."

"That's still a lie, Rachel," Finn replied.

Rachel decided not to argue. "I just thought you should know, Finn. Only a few people know Quinn and I are dating, but I'm sure that will eventually change, and I didn't want you to hear it from someone else."

"Yeah, well, I wish I didn't know," Finn said, standing up, and walking away without looking back.

* * *

"I hope you don't mind that I didn't call," Rachel said when Quinn opened the door.

"I thought you were having lunch with Finn," Quinn said.

"Yes, well, he left before we could order," Rachel replied.

Quinn stepped to the side. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

Rachel didn't immediately answer as she stepped inside Quinn's apartment. She didn't really want to admit that she had been crying. She just hated knowing that someone—anyone—was angry with her. The fact that it was someone she'd truly cared about just made it even worse.

"I told Finn everything," Rachel quietly said. "About us now and about us in high school. He knows everything. Well, I tried not to go into too much detail, but he knows the highlights. He left the restaurant fairly quickly after I told him."

"You really told him?" Quinn replied.

"Of course," Rachel said with a slight frown. "I told you I was going to tell him if he ever spoke to me again. I know more people are eventually going to find out about us, and I really didn't want him to hear it like that. He at least deserved to hear it from me even though I knew it was going to hurt him."

Quinn opened her mouth but closed it after a few moments.

"What is it?" Rachel asked, knowing Quinn wanted to say something.

Quinn shook her head. "I was afraid you would change your mind and decide it would be easier to be with him."

"Quinn—"

"I wouldn't have even been able to blame you," Quinn said. "Not after everything that's happened."

"I'm sorry that you thought that," Rachel replied. "But I'm here, Quinn. My engagement ending may not have been my choice, but that doesn't necessarily mean I regret that it happened."

Even if she didn't want to admit it, she knew she would have been settling for Finn. She loved him, but it wasn't the passionate love she knew she could feel for someone; it felt more like to committing to spending her life with one of her best friends. A best friend she didn't even really have that much in common with. She hadn't really seen it until things had ended, though. Or at least she had done a good job of ignoring it.

"So, that's it," Quinn remarked. "Your fathers know and Finn knows. I guess there's no reason to keep it from anyone now, is there?"

"No, I guess there isn't," Rachel agreed. "Unless you would rather everyone not know."

"I've told you, I don't care who knows, Rachel," Quinn replied.

"Well, that's probably good, because now that Finn knows, I'm sure Kurt won't be able to keep it to himself much longer," Rachel said with a slight smile. "He's dying to tell Mercedes."

"Why am I not surprised?" Quinn replied.

"He actually asked to be the one to tell her or to at least be available when she finds out," Rachel said, laughing lightly. "I can only imagine what her reaction is going to be."

"Imagine Santana's reaction," Quinn replied. "I'm kind of glad she doesn't have my number."

"They're _all_ going to be shocked," Rachel said.

Quinn nodded and then smiled. "It makes me kind of wish I could be there."

"I'm sure we'll hear all about it," Rachel replied. "Kurt won't be able to resist telling me every detail."

"You'll have to tell me what he says," Quinn said.

"I'll be sure to." Rachel looked down with a smile and then glanced up at Quinn. "Well, I don't know if you've had lunch yet or not, but since mine was cut short and I didn't actually get to eat, would you maybe like to join me?"

"Yeah, sure," Quinn replied. "Let me just grab my shoes."

"Great," Rachel said, her smile growing for a moment before disappearing. "Quinn?"

"What?" Quinn asked.

"Thank you," Rachel replied.

"For what?" Quinn asked, frowning slightly.

Rachel shrugged and said, "For everything. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Quinn replied, though she still looked a little confused as she turned to walk into the living room.


	32. What Would Happen?

**Sorry for the delay. This would have been up yesterday, but I had a lovely little migraine.**

* * *

**Chapter 32 – What Would Happen?**

"To second chances," Quinn said, holding her glass of wine out with a smile.

Rachel returned the smile, clinking her glass to Quinn's, and then taking a sip of the wine. "You know, I've always wanted to come to this restaurant, and so far, it certainly lives up to its reputation. I've never seen a more beautiful restaurant. And this wine is excellent."

She wasn't entirely sure why Quinn had insisted on going to dinner that night since Mondays weren't exactly typical date nights, but she wasn't complaining. She was happy to get out of the house; she had been going a little stir crazy with so much free time on her hands. She wasn't used to having so little to do, and there was only so much television she could watch before getting sick of it.

"So, how was your day yesterday?" Rachel asked as she set her glass down.

Quinn shrugged. "It was okay. I finished that book I've been trying to read since July."

"How was it?" Rachel asked.

"Terrible," Quinn said with a smile. "I hate starting a book and not finishing it, though."

Rachel hummed and scrunched up her nose. "If I'm not enjoying a book, I have no problem letting it go unread. I figure life is too short to spend time doing something you don't like."

"I guess I try to be optimistic when it comes to books," Quinn commented. "I'm always hoping things will get better."

"I understand," Rachel replied. "I do the same thing with movies."

"I've noticed," Quinn said. "I don't know how many terrible movies you made me sit through."

"Yes, well, we didn't have a lot of options when we couldn't leave my bedroom," Rachel replied. "And it takes a lot less time to watch a movie than it does to read a book. Even if a movie is terrible, you only waste a few hours of your life."

"True," Quinn agreed. "I would apologize for all those terrible movies, but anytime we watched something you didn't like—well, you were more inclined to do other things."

Rachel let out a slight gasp. "Are you saying we watched those movies so I would be more likely to make out with you than get invested in the movie?"

"Maybe," Quinn replied.

"I am offended!" Rachel smiled. "Or I would be if I didn't do the same thing. I'm not as big of a fan of biopics as I let on. I knew you found them boring, but I also knew you would pay more attention to me than the film."

Quinn let out a soft laugh. "Why am I not surprised?"

Rachel smiled again as she picked up her glass of wine and took another sip. As she put it down, she asked, "So, you never told me if there is some special reason for coming here tonight."

"There is, actually," Quinn replied.

"Oh?" Rachel said.

"I thought we could celebrate what happened eight years ago," Quinn replied.

Rachel furrowed her brows as she tried to think of what could have happened either year prior. After a few moments, though, she finally realized what Quinn was referring to. "Our first kiss."

"Yeah," Quinn said.

"How did you ever remember?" Rachel wondered.

"Would it be overly dramatic to say that that day changed me?" Quinn asked. "Before that day, I tried to convince myself I would eventually just settle down with some guy. But after I kissed you, I knew I would never be able to do that. So, yeah, I remember it like it was yesterday."

Rachel opened and closed her mouth several times, but no words came out. She wasn't really used to this side of Quinn—this sentimental side—and she was a little taken aback whenever Quinn said things like that. While she could be incredibly sweet when they were in high school, sometimes Rachel felt like there was a wall between them that never went away even when she was at her most unguarded. Now, though, that wall was gone. Quinn never fault guarded or inaccessible like she did when they were young, and it could be a little scary.

"I don't know what to say," Rachel eventually said.

Quinn shook her head. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to be with you tonight. It only felt right after everything that's happened."

Rachel smiled. "Well, I'm glad you remembered."

"Like I could ever forget," Quinn said, smiling back.

* * *

"Hello, Kurt," Rachel said as she laid back on the couch.

"There you are," Kurt replied. "This is the fourth time I've called tonight."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said. "I was listening to music while I tidied up the apartment, so I didn't hear my phone vibrating on the coffee table." Rachel ran her hand through her hair. "Anyway, what happened to you calling at nine? I wasn't expecting you for a few more hours."

"I know, but I was sitting around with nothing to do, so I thought I would see if you were around," Kurt replied. "Quinn isn't there, is she? I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"No, I'm alone," Rachel said. "Quinn was going to come over and I was going to cook, but she had to stay late for work this evening, so we thought it would be better if we postponed dinner until tomorrow."

Kurt hummed. "Does she stay late for work a lot?"

"Not often," Rachel replied. "Every now and then she has to, but it's only really when they're working on something big or they're extra busy. Or at least from what I understand, that's how it is. Quinn actually doesn't talk about work a whole lot. And when she does talk about it, it's usually more about her coworkers rather than her actual job."

Kurt hummed again but didn't say anything, and Rachel could tell there was something on his mind. She didn't necessarily know if she wanted to know what it was, though, so she decided not to ask. She'd figured out a long time ago that Kurt could be very critical of things and sometimes it was just better not to ask when he got a certain look on his face or got a certain tone of voice.

"So, how are things going there?" Rachel asked. "Did that guy from Saturday night ever call you?"

Kurt sighed. "Yes, and we met for coffee today, but it wasn't exactly what I'd hoped."

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Rachel replied.

"First, he was late by about twenty minutes, and then he kept bringing up his ex, who I guess he just broke up with," Kurt said. "Plus, he wasn't nearly as cute in the daylight, and when he wasn't talking about his ex, we really didn't have a lot to talk about because it turns out we have next to nothing in common. He seemed to think otherwise, though; he called me about an hour ago and asked if I'd want to go out this weekend. I'm so tired of being single that I actually thought about accepting his offer, but I couldn't really stand the thought of spending another hour with him."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said again. "I know you were hoping it could go somewhere."

"I'm not exactly surprised," Kurt replied. "I don't think there are any good, single men left in this town."

"I'm sure that's not true," Rachel said. "You'll find someone before you know it, and then you'll laugh at all these terrible dates you've had. You just have to patient, Kurt."

"That's easy for you to say," Kurt replied. "First you were with Finn and then you moved right on to Quinn. You probably don't even know what it was like to be single. Meanwhile, I haven't had a serious boyfriend since Blaine."

"What about that one guy?" Rachel asked. "That—dancer. What was his name?"

"Jake," Kurt said. "And how serious could it have been if my best friend can't even remember his name?"

"I guess you're right," Rachel replied. "Though, I do stick to the fact that you'll find someone before you know it."

"Speaking of men, Finn still isn't speaking to me," Kurt announced.

Rachel sighed. "I'm really sorry you got put in the middle of this."

"We both knew he wasn't going to be happy when he found out," Kurt replied. "Not that I can blame him, though I do think he's being a little over-dramatic, and this is coming from me. I tried to talk to him about it, but he completely ignores me. He moped around the house all weekend, but he's been staying at Puck's for the last few days. I think he's doing it to avoid me."

"So, he's still having a hard time with it?" Rachel asked.

"Yes, but I'm sure he'll start to get over it soon," Kurt replied. "He can't stay angry forever. It's not like you cheated on him with Quinn. You just didn't tell him you dated her before you dated him. I get that he's hurt and angry, but he can't stay like that forever."

"I really hope not," Rachel said. "I mean, I don't expect him to forgive me, but he shouldn't be angry with you just for knowing about it."

"I guess we'll see," Kurt replied. "I haven't even had the heart to call Mercedes and tell her about you and Quinn."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Only you would be worried about that."

"Hey, what else is there to do in Lima?" Kurt asked. "I have to have my fun somehow."

* * *

Rachel opened the door and followed the signs to where she was supposed to go. After signing in and then walking into the hallway, she immediately spotted Stephanie and headed toward her. She'd been the one to tell her about the audition, which Rachel appreciated considering they would be competing for the same role.

"Hey," Rachel said, smiling as she approached. "I didn't know we would be here at the same time."

"Me either," Stephanie replied. "But I'm glad you're here. Do you remember that woman that auditioned for Aly's role? That really terrible one with the laugh who wouldn't stop talking and critiquing everyone?"

"Oh no," Rachel said. "She's here."

"And she keeps trying to talk to me," Stephanie added. "She's in the bathroom right now."

"Well, I'm happy I could be here to help spare you," Rachel replied. "Consider it a thank you for informing me of this. I don't know how it slipped by me; I've been searching nearly every day."

"Are you as bored as I am?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel sighed. "Yes. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to finally have a little time to myself after performing in eight shows a week, but now I have too much free time. I miss having something to do every day. Although, it is nice to have my evenings free to go out as I wish."

"And by that you mean to go out with Quinn," Stephanie said.

Rachel smiled. "Yes, to go out with Quinn. It's great having my Friday and Saturday nights free. We can finally go on a date and not have to worry about either of us having to go to work in the morning." She glanced at Stephanie and noticed the look on her face. "What?"

"You're just—it's funny seeing how you were and seeing you now," Stephanie commented. "You didn't even know if you wanted to see her and now you're smiling when you hear her name. It's cute."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "It's not—I'm just—"

"You're happy," Stephanie said. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"Then why do I sometimes feel like there is?" Rachel asked.

She sighed and leaned her back against the wall, glancing around before looking at Stephanie again.

"Finn showed up a few weeks ago," Rachel said. "We never really got around to talking about why he came, but I may be able to guess why."

"He wanted to get back together," Stephanie replied.

"That's what I suspect," Rachel said with a slight nod. "But then I finally told him about Quinn and he left without really saying anything. Now he's not even speaking to Kurt because he knew and didn't tell him." Rachel ducked her head. "I hate that I hurt him, but I felt like he should finally know the truth and he needed to hear it from me. It's not going to stay a secret forever; not when other people know. And I don't want it to stay a secret. We did that before, and I'm not going to lie to people this time. I'm done doing that; I just wish no one had gotten hurt." She sighed. "First my fathers and now Finn."

"Your fathers?" Stephanie asked.

"I didn't mention that?" Rachel asked.

Stephanie shook her head. "Nope. I know they got a surprise when they came to surprise _you_, but you didn't really say anything else about it."

"Oh, well, they weren't exactly happy when they found out how much I lied to them during high school," Rachel replied. "Daddy especially. And I know they're also worried; they saw me at my worst after Quinn and I broke up, and they're afraid that will happen again. They've promised to give her a chance, though, which is good because I think we're both going to Lima for the holidays."

"Willingly?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel smiled. "It's amazing how things change in such a short period of time, isn't it? Six months ago I would have done anything not to go back there. But because I did, everything's changed. I'm no longer engaged to the man I thought I was going to spend my life with; instead, I'm dating the woman who hurt me more than anyone ever has." She took a deep breath and slowly released it. "I can't say I regret it, though. Even if everything goes terribly, I think I would have regretted it more if I didn't give this a chance. So maybe that's why I'm okay with going there now; I'm not afraid of it anymore."

"Are you still staying here for Thanksgiving or are you planning on heading out tonight?" Stephanie asked.

"No, I'm coming to your place tomorrow if I'm still welcome," Rachel replied.

"Not at all," Stephanie sarcastically said. "I would much rather spend it with my family."

Rachel smiled. "Good."

* * *

"I am so sorry," Rachel said as she quickly walked over to Quinn. "I was on the phone with Kurt and he was telling me about how awkward Thanksgiving dinner was, and I completely lost track of time." She let out a slight huff and then smiled. "Hi."

"Hey," Quinn said, smiling back.

Rachel leaned up and gave Quinn a kiss before pulling back and grabbing Quinn's arm, looping her arm around it, "It seems like the older I get, the less punctual I become, and I don't know why. I always prided myself on being early everywhere I went, but now I can't ever seem to leave the apartment on time. I don't know what's happening to me."

"You're becoming a flake," Quinn replied, looking down at her. "I'm kidding." Quinn shrugged. Your life has just been a little hectic lately. Things will eventually settle down, though, and get back to normal."

"Maybe," Rachel replied. "Although, I don't exactly know what to consider normal anymore."

Rachel thanked Quinn as she opened the door for her, and then walked into the theater, her arm still linked with the blonde's. She felt bad that she was late and they were cutting it so close to show time, but thankfully, Quinn always seemed to be understanding even though it seemed to keep happening.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked.

Rachel hummed and then looked at Quinn. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Quinn replied. "That's why I was asking. You sounded a little weird when we talked last night and now you're late, and I just wanted to make sure everything's okay. You would tell me if I did something, wouldn't you?"

"I assure you, Quinn, that you haven't done anything wrong," Rachel said. "You've been great, in fact."

Quinn hadn't done anything wrong, but she was right about Rachel being a little weird when they'd talked the previous night. And Rachel wasn't even really sure what exactly was wrong. Or if anything was wrong.

There had been a lot of couples attending Thanksgiving dinner at Stephanie's, and Rachel spent most of the night watching them, thinking about her relationship with Quinn. And it wasn't that she was even thinking anything bad, but that was part of the problem. Everything was going so well and part of her felt like she was just waiting for it to all fall apart again. Which she hated; she hated that she just couldn't relax and be happy that things with Quinn were going so well.

"So, what is this play about?" Rachel asked. "I know it's been getting rave reviews, but I don't think I've ever heard the plot."

"The last year of a woman's life," Quinn replied. "But it's not entirely depressing."

Rachel hummed. "Well, hopefully it lives up to the hype because I have high hopes for it."

"Even though you didn't know what it's about?" Quinn teased.

"Yes, even then," Rachel said with a light laugh. "Like I said, I've heard really good things. The lead actress is supposed to be amazing. Jess and Bonnie watched it last month, and they couldn't stop talking about her."

"Jackson saw it too," Quinn replied. "He's the one who recommended it."

"Jackson?" Rachel asked.

"He works a few floors down," Quinn replied. "I see him in the coffee shop and the cafe a lot. He saw it with his boyfriend when it opened, and when I told him I was looking for something to do, he told me about it."

Rachel nodded; she was always a little surprised at how many friends and acquaintances Quinn had. In high school, she'd only had a few friends and then a bunch of people who were clamoring to be her friend, but she'd always been a bit of a loner considering how popular she was. Now, though, Quinn seemed to know all kinds of people. Rachel guessed that was just the difference between having to hide who you are and being able to be open with others.

"Well, I'm glad he recommended it," Rachel said. "I've been hoping to eventually see it."

"Why didn't you ever mention it?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shrugged. "I just never thought to. But there are so many plays and musicals I would like to see that you would probably be safe taking me to any of them. Between being so busy during my last few years at NYADA and then performing six nights a week, I didn't have a lot of time to see anything that came out."

"I'll keep that in mind," Quinn said, wrapping her arm around Rachel's shoulder.

* * *

"Hey," Quinn said.

"Hi," Rachel replied, giving her a tight smile.

Quinn sighed and reached out, putting her hand on Rachel's, wrapping her index finger around several of Rachel's fingers. "Are you ever going to tell me what's wrong?"

"Who says anything is wrong?" Rachel asked.

"Because I know you," Quinn replied. "I can tell if there's something wrong even if you keep saying there isn't. You've been checked out half the night, Rachel. You're here one minute and then the next you're not. It's like sometimes you forget to be here. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it; I just want to know why you're being so—distant."

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Rachel lied.

Quinn sighed again and bit her lip. "Is this—is this because of Finn?"

"What?" Rachel asked. "No, of course not. You should know that it isn't."

"How?" Quinn asked back. "Every time something is wrong, you tell me there isn't. But I know you better than that, Rachel. I know when something is bothering you even if I don't know what's causing it."

Rachel opened her mouth but closed it. Quinn wasn't wrong, and it didn't seem if she was going to be able to convince her that she was. Plus, she didn't exactly like lying to her; she just didn't know how to talk about things sometimes. Not with Quinn, anyway, and that was becoming a problem. She knew that even if she didn't really want to admit it.

"Rachel, why can't you just talk to me?" Quinn asked. "Why shut me out?"

"Because I'm terrified," Rachel said before she could stop herself. "I'm—"

Rachel closed her eyes and buried her head in her pillow. After a few moments, she lifted her head and looked at Quinn, who was looking back at her with a worried expression.

"I know you've changed, Quinn," Rachel stated. "I know you have, but that doesn't mean I'm not still afraid. I don't know what will happen if—I don't know if I could survive it again. I apologize if I'm distant sometimes; it's just that I sometimes start overthinking things and it scares me. Things are so great right now, and I can't help feeling like it's a bubble that's just going to burst. I want to just be happy, but it's difficult."

"Why couldn't you just tell me that?" Quinn asked.

"Because I'm afraid it'll cause a fight," Rachel replied, rolling onto her back. "I don't want to be the reason that bubble bursts."

"Rachel, even if we get in a fight, that doesn't mean things would end," Quinn said. "Couples get in arguments. And not talking to me isn't going to help anything."

Rachel took a deep breath and slowly released it. "I know. I know it's only going to make things worse in the long run. But knowing it and actually doing it are two different things sometimes." Rachel looked over at Quinn. "I'm sorry you're dating someone who's so screwed up. I feel like one big contradiction lately. I'm happy, but then I'm not. It's like I'll see something and it'll make me start thinking about things even if I don't want to." She sighed. "I think I'm just still working through everything, and I know you wish it would happen faster—"

"Rachel, I know you can't just magically get over what happened," Quinn interrupted. "I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you to talk to me when something is bothering you. You don't have to keep hiding it. I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't promise that," Rachel replied.

"Rachel, I love you," Quinn stated. "I always have."

Rachel froze. She couldn't remember the last time she'd heard Quinn say those words to her. She'd alluded to the fact that she still loved her, but she hadn't actually voiced it. At least not since high school.

"You don't have to say anything," Quinn said, running her hand down Rachel's arm. "I just want you to know I'm not going anywhere. I didn't fight last time, but that won't happen this time. Which is why I'm saying this now instead letting you keep telling me everything is fine when I could tell it wasn't." She squeezed Rachel's arm. "I know you're afraid, but I'm not going anywhere, Rachel; not unless you want me to."

Rachel swallowed thickly and then nodded. "Is it okay if we go to sleep? I'm not saying we can't talk about this, because we can, but I'm just getting really tired."

Quinn paused for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. Sure."

"We'll talk about it in the morning," Rachel said, reaching out, and putting her hand on Quinn's cheek. "I promise."

Rachel knew Quinn was right and they needed to talk, but she also needed a little time to think about it since she didn't exactly know what to say to Quinn. Well, she did know what to say, but she was afraid of what would happen if she said it.


	33. It's Okay

**Hi…it's been a while. I had an awesome case of writer's block for a while and actually hadn't written on this story since November. Thankfully, working on my Clexa fic got me back into writing so I could then come back to this one. And having Ambassador-of-Kwan constantly harass me probably helped as well ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 33 – It's Okay**

Rachel turned onto her back as she listened to Quinn in the kitchen. While she had been the first one awake, she'd continued to lie there, pretending to be asleep once Quinn finally woke, trying to delay the inevitable for a little bit longer. Because even though she had thought about it for several hours before finally falling asleep, she didn't exactly know what she wanted to say to Quinn. She knew she needed to talk to her about things, but did she really want to tell her everything? She felt like some things would only hurt Quinn and make herself feel vulnerable, which she didn't know if she was ready to do.

Sighing, she finally threw the covers off and sat up, running her hand through her hair. She was beginning to get a headache from lying there for so long, and she knew she needed to finally get out of bed. She just wished she hadn't told Quinn she would talk to her in the morning.

After using the bathroom and running a brush through her tangled hair, she finally walked out of the bedroom. As she walked toward the kitchen, Quinn looked over her shoulder and said, "Good morning."

"Good morning," Rachel replied, taking a seat on one of the stools.

She'd half expected Quinn to bring everything up the moment she walked into the kitchen, but the blonde didn't say anything else. Instead, she continued whisking what looked like eggs.

"What are you cooking?" Rachel asked.

"I thought I would make a quiche," Quinn replied. "Unless you would rather have something else."

Rachel shook her head. "Actually, that sounds great."

"Good," Quinn said, giving her a light smile.

"So, I um—" Rachel sighed and clasped her hands together.

"You don't have to talk about it," Quinn said. "I'm not going to make you."

"I appreciate that," Rachel replied. "But I know we need to."

"Okay," Quinn said, setting the bowl down, and turning around, leaning against the counter.

"I just don't always know how to let people in like I used to," Rachel began. "I was so open with people when I was in high school, but it kept coming back to hurt me over and over. Obviously the worst is what happened between us. With the exception of maybe Stephanie, the friendships I've made in New York are all fairly superficial, and I like it that way. I'm afraid for people to get too close because I'm afraid of being hurt by them, and I don't even know if I realized it until recently."

"Rachel—"

"I'm not saying this to blame you," Rachel interrupted. "I'm just telling you why I don't always tell you everything. I'm afraid of being as vulnerable as I used to be because I know what can happen. I completely lost myself after we broke up. You say the first time we kissed changed you, but our breakup changed me."

"Do you think it didn't change me, too?" Quinn asked.

"I know it did," Rachel replied. "I'm simply—" Rachel sighed. "I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I'm just trying to explain and I guess I'm also trying to apologize. I don't want you to feel like I'm shutting you out; I just don't always know how to talk about some things."

"Well, if you ever do want to talk about those things, I'm here," Quinn said, stepping up to the island, and leaning against it. "I would be more than willing to listen to anything you have to say. I'm not trying to push you, though. If you need time, take it. But will you at least not tell me things are fine if they're not? Just don't lie to me, okay?"

Rachel nodded and then paused for a moment before asking, "What if the things I have to say are painful? What if it hurts you? Do you still want to hear it?"

"Yes," Quinn replied.

Rachel could tell Quinn was sincere, but that didn't mean she wouldn't change her mind after actually hearing what she had to say. And that's what Rachel was afraid of—saying something she couldn't take back.

"You said if I need time—"

Quinn nodded. "It's fine."

"You have no idea how much I wish I could just be happy," Rachel said as Quinn turned back to making breakfast. "I _am_ happy. I just can't always relax and enjoy the fact that I'm happy." Rachel sighed. "There were just so many couples at Stephanie's and I couldn't help watching them and thinking about us. How great things are and how easily that can change. I'm just—I'm afraid, Quinn. There's no other word for it. I'm afraid of what will happen if this all ends again."

"At least you said 'if' and not 'when'," Quinn remarked.

"Just because I'm afraid, it doesn't mean I'm still not hopeful," Rachel replied, giving Quinn a slight smile when she looked over her shoulder.

* * *

"So, his name is Caleb?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Kurt replied. "He just moved to Lima this summer when he accepted his first teaching position. He's actually teaching at McKinley, which is a little weird, but he's cute and employed and not completely dull, so I'll get over it. We're going on our second date tonight."

Rachel smiled. "That's wonderful."

Kurt had been single for so long, and she would be thrilled if he had finally found someone who was right for him. Even if this guy didn't turn out to be the love of his life, at least Kurt wouldn't be so lonely for a bit. She figured it was a good sign that they were going out two nights in a row, though; even if Kurt didn't say it, she figured it meant that he really liked this guy.

"So, what about you?" Kurt asked. "Do you have any plans with Quinn tonight?"

Rachel sighed. "No."

"Really?" Kurt asked. "I figured you would make use of your free weekends while you had them."

"Quinn and I—"

"Oh no," Kurt interrupted. "You two didn't break up, did you?"

"No!" Rachel quickly said. "No, of course not. Don't you think I would have lead with that?"

"I don't know," Kurt replied. "You didn't tell me the last time your relationship with her ended."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That was different and you know it."

"Yes, well—are you going to tell me what's going on?" Kurt asked.

"I just—" Rachel sighed, "I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. It's as if the happier I am, the worse things are in a way. Because the happier I am, the more it's going to hurt if things don't work out between Quinn and I. And I can't do it again, Kurt. I can't go through that again." Rachel took a deep breath. "She told me she loves me, Kurt."

"Wow," Kurt replied. "When did this happen?"

"Last night," Rachel said. "She also told me she isn't going anywhere."

"Why don't you sound happier about that?" Kurt asked.

"Because it wouldn't be the first time someone's told me they loved me, or even promised to spend their life with me, only to give up on me in the end," Rachel replied. "And I know I should stop focusing on the past, but it's hard to do. Especially when Quinn is part of that past. She just walked away from me, and I know it was also my fault, but it's not so easy to get over something you've held on to for six and a half years.

"It hurt. It hurt more than you could possibly know, Kurt. I know things are different now—she's different—but it's there, and I don't know if it'll ever not be. I wish I could say that I knew I could completely move past it one day, but what if I don't? What if it's always there between us? I just keep thinking about how it could happen again. How I could go through all of that hurt and pain _again_."

"Do you think she's going to hurt you again?" Kurt asked. "And I'm not asking if you're _afraid_ that it's going to happen. I'm asking if you _think_ Quinn is going to hurt you again. Do you truly think she's going to hurt you like she did in high school?"

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment and rested her head against the back of the couch. "Whether I think it or not, it doesn't change my fears."

"I know that," Kurt replied. "I'm just asking if you really think she's going to hurt you again. Because—I don't really know how I feel about Quinn, I'll admit; I never knew her very well, but I do know what you've told me. And I want to know if you think Quinn is going to hurt you again. I know you're afraid that it's going to happen because it's already happened once, but ignoring the past, knowing Quinn as you know her now, do you think she's going to hurt you?"

She knew if she had just met Quinn that she wouldn't have any of the thoughts she'd been having. Quinn had been pretty wonderful since they had begun dating, and if they had just met, she didn't even know if any of these fears would have crossed her mind. She certainly wouldn't be waiting around, afraid that any little thing was going to destroy the relationship they had been building. And she knew Kurt was right. She wouldn't be afraid that Quinn was going to hurt her. She would have no reason to be afraid, and the only reason she was afraid now was because of something that happened years ago when they were both teenagers.

"No," Rachel finally answered. "I believe her when she says she loves me."

"Then maybe you should trust that," Kurt stated.

* * *

"Hi," Rachel said, giving Quinn a smile as she opened the door.

"Hey," Quinn replied.

"I, um, I thought maybe we could have a girl's night in," Rachel said, raising the bags in her hands. "I brought movies and ice cream and probably enough junk food to last us a week." She gave Quinn another smile before ducking her head. "I know you have to work tomorrow, but we don't have to stay up too late. I just thought it would be nice to spend the evening in just the two of us."

"Girl's night in?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shrugged and gave a light laugh. "I didn't know what else to call it."

Quinn opened the door and Rachel walked in, receiving a kiss from the blonde. Quinn then took the bags from her and Rachel shrugged off her coat, hanging it up next to Quinn's, before putting her scarf and hat on the table.

"If you don't mind, I thought I would change into something a little more comfortable," Rachel said.

"More comfortable?" Quinn asked.

"You can't have a girl's night in without pajamas," Rachel replied, taking one of the bags out of Quinn's hands.

Quinn nodded and Rachel walked into the bedroom to quickly change. When she came back out, Quinn was setting out the food she'd brought, and Rachel headed over to the kitchen to join her.

"You weren't lying when you said you brought a lot," Quinn commented.

"I figured better safe than sorry," Rachel replied. "I didn't want be here and then find myself wishing I'd bought something, so I just got it all."

Quinn nodded and then paused, looking at her. "Rachel—"

"You want to know why I'm here," she said.

"Yes," Quinn replied.

"I talked to Kurt last night," Rachel said, reaching for the bag of DVDs she'd brought. "We talked for a long time, actually. He asked me if I thought you were going to hurt me again. Not just if I'm afraid that it's going to happen, but if I truly think you will."

Quinn nodded and looked away, and Rachel knew what she was thinking. She could tell by the look on Quinn's face what she thought her answer was.

"I told him no," Rachel said after a moment's pause, causing Quinn to look up. "I know I'm afraid that it'll happen again, but he made me realize that I don't necessarily _think_ it will happen. And if it does, it's because it's just a possibility in all relationships. It's not something I think you would intentionally do. I need to stop worrying about it so much; I need to stop waiting for things to fall apart, because it's that waiting and worrying that's going to make it happen more than anything else.

"You wanted to know why I came here tonight? I came here because I'm ready, Quinn. I told you I don't always know how to let people in like I did in high school, but I don't want to be like that anymore. Not with you. And the thought terrifies me, and there are probably things that you don't know that are going to hurt you to hear, but I'm going to try to trust that you'll still be here when all is said and done. Because you told me you're not going anywhere, and I'm going to choose to believe that."

Quinn took a deep breath and nodded, and Rachel reached out, putting her hand over the blonde's. Quinn was clearly surprised by what Rachel had said, but Rachel meant every word of it, and she hoped Quinn knew that.

"It sounds like I should thank Kurt," Quinn said.

"I'm sure it pains you to say that," Rachel joked.

"You have no idea," Quinn replied, giving her a wry smile.

"Any preference as to which movie we watch?" Rachel asked with a laugh, squeezing Quinn's hand before withdrawing her own.

Quinn shook her head. "You choose."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Quinn said with a nod.

"Oh! Kurt met a guy," Rachel announced. "His name is Caleb; he's a new teacher at McKinley. They went on their second date last night, and I think Kurt is smitten. He hasn't said it in those words, but I can hear it in his voice. And I'm so happy for him. He hasn't really been in a relationship since Blaine, and I know how much he would love to find someone. Especially with Burt being ill; it would be great for Kurt to have someone there for him." Rachel pulled out three DVDs, holding them up. "While You Were Sleeping, Heart and Souls, or My Best Friend's Wedding?"

"Sounds familiar," Quinn said, smiling.

"I thought it may," Rachel replied, smiling back.

* * *

"Are you okay?"

Rachel hummed and looked over at Quinn as they television turned off. "Oh, yes."

"You've just been really quiet," Quinn said.

"I was just thinking about something," Rachel replied.

"Something you want to talk about?" Quinn asked.

Rachel took a deep breath and slowly released it. "You said if I ever wanted to talk about anything you would be here. Even if it would be something painful for you to hear. Are you sure about that? Are you sure you want to know, Quinn, because once you hear something, you can never take it back."

"I meant it, Rachel," Quinn replied. "If you want to talk about anything, I'm here."

Rachel slowly nodded. She wasn't even sure she wanted to talk about this, but she figured she needed to get it out in the open if they wanted to be able to move past everything.

"I've never told anyone this," Rachel said, glancing at Quinn. "Not even Kurt. Partly because I didn't want anyone to worry about me even more than I knew they already did and partly because I had no way of explaining why at the time. Not without them wondering why. I knew they would ask too many questions. Questions I had no way of answering at the time. And I guess part of me was also a little ashamed. I'd always considered myself a strong person, but after we broke up, I completely lost myself for a while."

"Rachel—"

Rachel sighed when Quinn trailed off, and she turned to look at her girlfriend. "I want you to know that I'm not telling you this to try to hurt you. I'm telling you this because I don't want any more secrets between us. We had them the last time we were together and I had them with Finn, and they're part of what destroyed both of those relationships." Rachel paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "After we broke up—I thought about killing myself."

Her words hung in the air as Quinn silently stared at her. She knew Quinn had questions—she could practically see them on the blonde's face—but she seemed to have shocked her into silence. So, Rachel didn't say anything else, knowing it was a lot to process. Instead, she sat there and waited, knowing

"When," Quinn finally asked after a minute or two, her voice cracking.

"Right after Nationals," Rachel answered. "Watching you walk out of the choir room without fighting for me had hurt enough, but watching you look so happy at the prom with Sam had hurt even more. Seeing you at school every single day like you didn't have a care in the world—" Rachel shook her head at the memory. "And then we lost Nationals and I felt like it was my fault. I felt like everything I cared about was falling apart.

"I'm not saying I would have gone through with it. And I only really thought about it once. It was the last day of school and I was sitting in the choir room. I was thinking about how I'd lost us Nationals and how nothing in my life that made me happy lasted. And then I wondered if the same thing would be true of my future and if I could really spend the rest of my life feeling the way I was feeling. Thankfully, someone chose that moment to walk into the choir room, because I know I can be kind of impulsive sometimes and it scares me to think what could have happened if they didn't. I'm not saying I would have killed myself, but—but I don't know."

"Who walked in?" Quinn asked.

Rachel paused for a moment, though she could tell by the look in Quinn's eyes that she already knew the answer. "Finn."

"I don't know what to say," Quinn said, shaking her head.

"You don't need to say anything," Rachel replied. "I just wanted you to know."

Quinn reached up and wiped away a tear that began trailing its way down her cheek. "I'm sorry. If I could do things differently—"

"Hey," Rachel said, reaching out for Quinn's hand. "I told you, I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. We can't change the past; we can only move on from it. We were both at fault for the things that happened during high school. I know that now." Rachel wiped away her own tears before they fell. "I'm sorry I tried to put everything on you, Quinn. It wasn't fair of me."

Quinn took a shuddering breath and then looked down at their joined hands.

"It's okay," Rachel said, squeezing Quinn's hand. "I'm okay now. _We're_ okay."

* * *

"Good morning," Rachel said when she walked out of Quinn's bedroom and saw her girlfriend in the kitchen.

"Hey," Quinn replied, glancing over her shoulder.

"I can't believe I slept so late," Rachel said, running her hand through her hair.

"Well, you _were_ up late," Quinn commented.

"Whatever you're making smells amazing," Rachel said, walking up to Quinn, and kissing her shoulder. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for work, though? You don't want to be late."

"I called in," Quinn replied.

"What?" Rachel asked, pulling back in surprise. "Are you not feeling well?"

"I feel fine," Quinn replied. "I just thought we could spend the day together."

Quinn shrugged and her tone was light, but Rachel had the feeling the reasoning behind it was anything but casual. She knew Quinn was doing it because of their discussion the previous night even though everything was okay now. Actually, everything was more than okay now. Rachel actually felt better now than she had in a long time.

She knew things weren't going to be perfect and that everything wasn't magically fixed, but after talking to Kurt, it was like she was finally at peace with things. Realizing that she didn't actually think Quinn would hurt her even if she was afraid of it happening had been surprising, but it felt like things finally fell into place. It made her realize she didn't have to be as scared, and after a long night of thinking, a sort of calm had washed over her. Which is why she'd finally decided to tell Quinn the one thing she had been the most afraid to tell.

"You really don't have to stay home on my account," Rachel said. "I'm perfectly fine, Quinn."

"I know," Quinn replied, turning around. "I just wanted to, okay?"

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked. "Because I didn't tell you what I told you last night for you to worry about me. I'm fine now. That was six and a half years ago; a lot has changed since then."

"I know that, but—"

"But what?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows when Quinn trailed off, looking away.

Quinn sighed and looked at her again. "You told me if we broke up, you didn't know if you could survive it again."

"Quinn—"

"Are you really fine now?" Quinn interrupted. "Because, I'm not saying it's going to happen, but what if we did break up? Are you going to—" Quinn looked away again. "I love you, Rachel, and it scares me to know that it's a possibility for you to think of that."

"Would it make you feel better if I make an appointment with a therapist?" Rachel asked. "I've been thinking about it anyway. With everything that's been happening, I thought it could be good to have a professional to talk to. As you know, I've been before, but this would be the first time I would finally be able to tell them everything. I actually discussed it with Finn once, but he didn't see the point in me going."

"I can't tell you what to do," Quinn replied, shaking her head.

"I'm simply asking for your opinion," Rachel said, putting her hands on Quinn's hips. "If the thought of me going makes you uncomfortable, though—"

"Hey," Quinn interrupted. "Don't worry about that. Do whatever you think's best. If you think it'll help you and you want to go then go. You'll have my support. And if you decide you don't want to go, but you need someone to talk, you know I'm always here."

Rachel nodded and then gave Quinn a soft smile. "I know."

Rachel wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, putting her head in the crook of Quinn's neck. She closed her eyes for a moment as Quinn put her arms around her, enjoying the feeling of just being there with her, wrapped in Quinn's arms.

"You probably can't make breakfast like this," Rachel remarked after a minute as she pulled back.

"No," Quinn agreed. "But I wasn't going to complain.

Rachel smiled. "Do you have any plans for the day?"

"Actually, I was going to see if you would want to go to Central Park," Quinn replied, turning back to the stove. "And maybe Times Square, the Met, the Statue of Liberty, Broadway—"

"Those were the places we always talked about seeing together on our first day in the city," Rachel said.

"Since we never got the chance, I thought maybe we could do it today," Quinn said. "I know we've each been to them before, but I still thought it could be fun."

"It sounds great, actually," Rachel replied, giving Quinn a smile.


	34. My Heart Skips, Skips A Beat

**Chapter 34 – My Heart Skips, Skips A Beat**

"Why did it have to start snowing?" Stephanie asked as she sat down across from Rachel.

Rachel gave a light laugh. "Hello to you, too."

"You're lucky I came," Stephanie teased. "I didn't want to leave my nice, warm apartment."

"It's barely flurrying," Rachel replied as she took a drink of her hot chocolate. "And I don't believe for a moment that you would ever pass up the opportunity to drink coffee with one of your good friends."

Stephanie hummed and then took a sip of her drink before asking, "How's the job hunt going?"

"Not great so far," Rachel said with a sigh. "I had a few auditions this week, but so far I haven't heard anything back. I'm trying to stay optimistic and enjoy my time off, but there's only so much you can do before you start going a little stir crazy. How about you? Are you having any better luck than I am?"

"I had a callback, but I know some others who are interested in the role as well and there's no way they're going with me," Stephanie replied.

"You don't know that," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Trust me," Stephanie replied. "I'm not getting that one." She held up her hand as Rachel opened her mouth. "It's okay. It's not like we haven't both been through this a hundred times. We both knew what we were getting into."

Rachel nodded. "I just wished doing what I loved most in the world was a little easier sometimes."

"Speaking of, how's it going with Quinn?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "That was terrible."

Stephanie laughed. "I'm sorry; I couldn't help it."

"You're as bad as Kurt sometimes," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"Really, though, how's it going?" Stephanie asked.

"It's great," Rachel replied. "Quinn and I are wonderful.

"Really?" Stephanie asked.

"You sound surprised," Rachel remarked.

"You just seemed a little weird at Thanksgiving," Stephanie replied.

"Oh," Rachel looked down, "that."

"So it did have to do with her," Stephanie said.

Rachel sighed. "Yes and no. There are just so many couples there and I was watching them, thinking about my relationship with Quinn, and I guess I had a bit of a—panic. I don't know if that's the right word for it. Everything was going so well between us, and I was just waiting around for it to fall apart. I guess I started pulling away because of it and Quinn noticed. She's not afraid to call me out on things like that. When she thinks something is wrong, she asks me; she doesn't just let it go."

"Good," Stephanie replied.

Rachel smiled. "Yes. Although, sometimes I wish she would. It's much easier to remain in denial about things when your partner is oblivious."

"But not as healthy," Stephanie said.

Rachel hummed in agreement. "But, yes, Quinn and I are doing great. We had a rough few days last weekend, but then I talked to Kurt and he made me realize a few things. Since then, things with Quinn have never been better. Quinn even begrudgingly had me thank Kurt, which I'm sure he's never going to let her forget." She gave a light laugh. "I'm sure she's going to want to kill him when we go to Lima."

"Are you still going for Christmas?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel nodded and took another drink. "My fathers are very excited. They were talking about having a party, but I convinced them not to. Normally, I love a party as much as the next girl, but even without having to worry about running into Quinn while I'm there, it's still Lima. It doesn't exactly have the best memories for me. I'm not dreading it like I was the last time, but I still don't want to have to try to put on a show and entertain a bunch of people I don't know. Or worse—a bunch of people I _do_ know, but only find me interesting now that I live in New York City and have been on Broadway."

"It's funny how that happens," Stephanie said.

"Isn't it?" Rachel replied. "Five years ago, those same people were bullying me because of my dreams and my ambition."

"Are you afraid you'll run into Finn?" Stephanie asked.

"I'm not exactly afraid," Rachel replied. "If I do, it won't be the end of the world, but it won't exactly be a comfortable situation. I'm more afraid of what will happen if Quinn runs into him. I know he's angry with me, but from a few things Kurt has said, I think Finn blames Quinn just as much, if not more. I know he certainly wasn't happy when he realized Quinn broke up with him in high school to be with me."

"Ouch," Stephanie said.

Rachel sighed. "Yes, and I fear he will take all of his frustration out on her if he happens to run into her while she's in Lima. I hope not, but he can have a bit of a temper. I don't think he'll physically hurt her or anything like that, but I do think there's a high chance he may say something to her, and I doubt it will be anything nice."

"Something tells me Quinn can handle herself," Stephanie replied.

"I have no doubt, but that doesn't mean she deserves it," Rachel said. "She didn't do anything wrong, and I don't want him putting the blame on her. I did that enough and it wasn't fair of me. If it happens, I just hope I'm there with her so I can put a stop to it."

"Sounds like it's going to be an interesting trip," Stephanie commented.

"Hopefully not," Rachel said. "Hopefully it'll just be a nice, quiet trip to our hometown and nothing more."

"And what are the chances of that?" Stephanie asked.

"Probably not very good," Rachel said, giving her a wry smile. "But a girl can always hope."

* * *

"This isn't quite what I was expecting," Rachel commented as the waitress walked away and she looked down at the food the woman had just set in front of her.

"It's—different," Quinn agreed.

Rachel looked across the table at Quinn's plate—or, more accurately, slab of wood—and frowned. "What kind of chef puts something with a cream sauce on a flat surface like that? It's about to drip off the edge."

She had thought the restaurant was strange from the moment they walked in. The decor was more than a little strange and the seating left much to be desired, but her friend from the theater had raved about the place. By the time the appetizer had come, she had definitely begun regretting her decision to stay there, but it had been too late to leave. She knew everywhere else would be booked, and even if there was some place that wasn't full, they didn't have the time to try to find another restaurant unless she wanted them to be rushed and likely late to what she had planned after dinner.

"Your friend wouldn't happen to be a hipster, would he?" Quinn asked.

"What?" Rachel asked with a frown.

Quinn shook her head and smiled. "Never mind."

"At least the food tastes okay," Rachel said after taking a bite. "Even if the presentation is a little questionable. How is yours?"

"It's good," Quinn replied.

"Good," Rachel said. "I would have felt terrible if I had brought us here and the food had been disappointing."

Quinn shrugged. "As long as I'm with you, I don't really care. You should know that by now."

"I'm glad to hear that," Rachel replied. "Because that means you'll come to karaoke with me and Stephanie in a few weeks."

Quinn's eyebrow rose. "Wait—what?"

"I told you I was meeting Stephanie for Coffee today," Rachel said. "Well, we were talking and we thought it would be fun to get a few of our friends together and go to this karaoke place Kurt and I used to go to when we were at NYADA."

"Karaoke with a bunch of Broadway professionals," Quinn replied. "Yeah, it sounds great."

"I can assure you that not everyone there will be a professional performer," Rachel said. "Stephanie's boyfriend, Matt, is a nurse, and I'm sure there will be other significant others. Unlike you, most of them will have no experience singing in front of large groups. Besides, you have nothing to worry about; you have a lovely voice, Quinn."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter how my much voice is. I am not singing."

"Okay," Rachel replied.

"I'm not," Quinn stated.

"I said okay," Rachel replied.

"I know that 'okay'," Quinn said. "You say 'okay', but when we go, you'll try to get me to sing."

Rachel smiled since that was exactly what she had planned on doing. She had never gotten to sing with Quinn when they were in the Glee Club—not just the two of them anyway—and she knew this was their opportunity to do it. Other than not being able to attend a dance with Quinn, not being able to sing a duet with her had probably been one of the biggest disappointments about high school. She may not be able to go back and change it, but she could make up for a little bit.

"I know I'm not the only one who wishes we could have sung together while we were in Glee," Rachel said. "Karaoke may not be quite the same, but it's the closest we're going to come. Obviously you don't have to sing with me if it makes you uncomfortable, but I thought it could be fun. It's something we never got to do before and I hoped this could change that."

Quinn narrowed her eyes before looking down, taking a bite of her food. Rachel didn't think she was going to respond, but after a few moments, she said, "Fine."

"Fine?" Rachel asked.

"I'll go," Quinn said.

Rachel smiled. "I meant it when I said you don't have to sing if you're uncomfortable with it. Of course, I would love it if you would, but I'll just be happy to have you there. I want for my friends to get to know you better and for you to get to know them. And if it would make you feel more comfortable, you could bring a few of your friends if you'd like. We're going on the fifteenth. We thought it would be good to do it right before the holidays, before everyone has to go see their families."

"You make it sound like a chore," Quinn commented, raising her eyebrow.

"Quite a few of them grew up in small towns like we did," Rachel replied. "Most of them are not so fond of going home."

Quinn hummed. "Sounds familiar."

"You haven't changed your mind about going to Lima for the holidays, have you?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shook her head. "Not unless you have. Because I don't plan on going alone."

"No," Rachel replied. "It's all my fathers can talk about and I wouldn't want to disappoint them like that. Plus, I know Kurt's already making plans, and he would never forgive me if I told him I wasn't coming. Oh! When I talked to my fathers last night, they made me promise invite you to dinner. They're hoping to get to know you a little better while you're there, and they thought dinner would be the perfect opportunity."

"They're hoping or you're hoping?" Quinn asked.

"They're hoping," Rachel replied. "Not that I'm not hoping as well, but they know things between us are serious, and they want to know you better. They realize that you're important to me and they were never very close with Finn, and they don't want things to be the same with you. What do you say? Can I tell them you'll come?"

"Yeah—sure," Quinn answered. "At least I'll know to have clothes on this time."

Rachel laughed. "That certainly does help."

* * *

"Are you serious?" Quinn asked, smiling.

Rachel smiled back and nodded. "Nathan was going to go with his boyfriend, but they broke up a few weeks ago. He was looking to sell the tickets because his boyfriend was the one who was the Tegan and Sara fan, so of course I bought them since I knew how much you wanted to come and how disappointed you were when it was sold out. I didn't tell you because I wanted it to be a surprise."

Quinn leaned forward and pulled Rachel into a kiss, not seeming to care that they were standing in the middle of the sidewalk. And Rachel wasn't going to complain or point out that they were probably in people's way.

"I guess it's safe to assume this makes up for the strange dinner," Rachel said when Quinn finally pulled back.

Quinn laughed. "Yeah. Not that was I was complaining about dinner."

"I know," Rachel said, linking her arm with Quinn's as they walked toward the building's entrance. "But you can, you know? You don't always have to be so agreeable about everything." She glanced at Quinn, who raised her eyebrow. "I'm just saying that if you're doing it because you're afraid of upsetting me and causing me to breakup with you, you don't need to be."

"I'm not," Quinn replied. "I just realized I don't need to be so—I don't know. Uptight about everything, I guess. It's not that I don't care, but I realized it's not the end of the world if things don't go right. Especially with things that aren't really that important in the grand scheme of things."

Rachel smiled. "I wish I could have your philosophy, but I'm far too dramatic for that."

"Really?" Quinn asked, smiling over at her. "I've never noticed."

Rachel laughed lightly. "I know. It must come as a complete shock to you."

Quinn opened the door and Rachel had to let go of her girlfriend's arm to walk through. Once inside, she took Quinn's hand, entwining their finger's together, and walked with the rest of the crowd toward the ticket takers.

"This is exciting," Rachel commented. "I haven't been to a concert in a while."

"Why not?" Quinn asked.

"It was difficult with my schedule," Rachel replied.

"Makes sense," Quinn said.

"Plus. Finn and I didn't really have the same taste in music," Rachel added. "Kurt and I did go to a few together, though. We saw Adele, which was amazing. Kurt cried half the night."

"Only Kurt?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Okay, I may have shed a tear or two," Rachel admitted. "But only because a few of her songs reminded me of a certain person." She glanced over at Quinn. "Did that ever happen to you? You would just hear a song or watch a movie and be reminded of everything?"

"All the time, actually," Quinn replied.

"Kurt always wondered why I banned us from watching certain movies," Rachel said. "Most of them were movies you and I had watched together. Unfortunately, he loved Never Been Kissed too much to allow me to ban it. He could never understand why I would end up crying every time he watched it. He finally realized it a few weeks after I told him about us."

"I'm guessing a lot of things finally made sense," Quinn remarked.

Rachel nodded and then let out a light laugh. "Including a few things he wishes didn't. Like the times he almost caught us in a compromising position." Rachel shook her head. "I used to wonder what would have happened if Kurt had caught us. I've often wondered if he would have been able to keep our secret. I like to think he would have, but I don't know."

"I know one thing that would have happened," Quinn quietly said.

"You would have broken up with me," Rachel stated as they moved forward in the line.

She'd always known it; Quinn had never actually said it, but it was an unspoken thing between them back then. Rachel knew if anyone found out about them, that would be it. Quinn would have run and there would have been nothing she could have done to stop it. Even though she knew Quinn had loved her, she had no doubt Quinn's fear still would have won out.

"It's okay," Rachel said, squeezing Quinn's hand. "We're here now."

"Have you thought about what it's going to be like when we go back to Lima?" Quinn asked.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked back.

Quinn held up their joined hands. "Right now, only Kurt and Finn know, but if we walk around like this, it's not going to take long for word to spread. Have you really thought what that's going to be like?"

"I have," Rachel replied. "I know there will be people talking behind our backs and there will be people who will not be accepting of our relationship. And I know _everyone_ is going to be shocked—I have no doubt about that. It's probably going to feel like high school all over again with all the rumors and all the whispers. So, yes, I have thought about it, and I'm prepared for what's to come. But if you're concerned about it, we can be as low-key as you want. Nothing says we have to walk down the sidewalk holding hands."

Quinn shook her head. "I'm not going to hide. Not anymore. Not when I can finally do what I wanted to do so badly back then but was too afraid do. People can talk all they want; I don't care."

"Good," Rachel said, smiling softly. "I know it's going to feel a little strange to be back there and for us to be openly dating, but—I'm looking forward to it. It's all I ever wanted before. I may not be looking forward to everything about this trip, but I'm certainly looking forward to that part of it."

"Me too," Quinn replied, smiling back at her.

* * *

Rachel released her tight grip on the sheets as Quinn's lips lightly grazed her neck, and when the blonde finally slid her fingers out of her, Rachel let out a moan. As Quinn placed a kiss on her pulse point, she could feel her mouth tick up into a smile, and Rachel knew it was because of her response. Quinn liked it when she wasn't quiet, and the more things had changed between them, the more Rachel had let go with that as well. She was no longer holding back like before, and she knew Quinn could tell.

"Hey," Quinn whispered as she hovered above Rachel.

As Rachel stared up into Quinn's eyes, her pounding heart seemed to skip a beat, and Rachel's smile faltered. Quinn's eyes drifted down toward her mouth for a moment before locking eyes with her again.

"Hi back," Rachel replied.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, lying on her side.

Rachel nodded, turning to face Quinn. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Quinn said, reaching out, and touching Rachel's arm. "You just—you had this look all of a sudden."

"I'm fine," Rachel said, putting her hand over Quinn's. "It's nothing for you to worry about."

"Would you tell me if it was?" Quinn asked.

"Of course," Rachel replied.

"Okay," Quinn said with a nod.

Rachel took a deep breath and then slowly released it. After a moment, she slid across the bed while simultaneously moving the blonde's arm until it was around her shoulders and her head was resting on it. She knew they weren't going to be able to sleep like that very well since they were face to face with barely any space between them, but she didn't really care at the moment.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Quinn softly asked.

Rachel nodded. "It's not that anything is wrong; I just—" She paused, glancing into Quinn's eyes. "Sometimes this is all a little overwhelming. I never thought I would be here again."

"With me," Quinn stated.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "And sometimes it just hits me. We're doing this again. _I'm_ doing this again. I'm with you and I'm—"

Rachel turned her head so she was looking up at the dark ceiling rather than into Quinn's eyes. She knew Quinn understood; she knew she was willing to wait for her to figure everything out, but she also knew it couldn't be easy for her. She knew it had to hurt Quinn every time she felt her pulling away or every time Quinn said she loved her and Rachel didn't say it back. But even if things were better and Rachel was finally at peace with the things that happened between them, she just wasn't ready to let herself go there. Not now. Not yet.

"I'm fine," Rachel said. "Like I said, it's just a little overwhelming sometimes."

"Do you want me to go?" Quinn asked.

"No!" Rachel quickly said. "Of course not."

"Okay," Quinn replied. "But if you ever do, you can say so."

"You know, things like this don't help," Rachel said with a smile, causing Quinn to frown. "You, Quinn, are too perfect as a girlfriend."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I'm not perfect, Rachel."

"I know, but you're certainly one of the most patient people I've ever met," Rachel said, reaching out, and hooking her finger around Quinn's. "And understanding and thoughtful. I hope you're not just trying to make up for high school, because I want you to know that you don't have anything to make up for."

"I'm not," Quinn replied. "But you're wrong. I do have a lot to make up for."

"Quinn—"

"What?" Quinn asked. "I hurt you, Rachel. A lot. Do you think it still doesn't bother me? Do you think it didn't kill me then? I hate that I did it, and I wish I could take it back. And I know you hurt me too; I know I'm not the only one responsible, but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty about it. Especially not after—"

Rachel sighed as Quinn trailed off. "Quinn, that is not your—"

"Don't tell me it's not my fault," Quinn quietly interrupted, sitting up.

"I don't want you to _ever_ feel responsible for that," Rachel firmly said. "Because it was me. I am the one responsible for that and no one else."

"Rachel, you thought about killing yourself after we broke up," Quinn said. "How is that not my fault?"

Rachel wrapped her arm around Quinn's side and rested her chin on her shoulder. It was the first time Quinn had really brought it up since Rachel had told her. Rachel had mentioned it once or twice the day after, but they hadn't seriously talked about it since. She knew it had shocked Quinn, and even though she hadn't said much, she could see it on Quinn's face that she'd had a lot of thoughts about it. Rachel had thought about trying to bring it up, but she'd figured it would be better to wait until Quinn was ready to talk about it in her own time.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm the one who broke up with you," Rachel softly said. "You may have walked away, but I'm the one who ended things. I didn't tell you to make you guilty; that's the last thing I wanted. I just didn't want any secrets between us. And I'm telling you, Quinn—you are not responsible for what happened. I know I blamed you for things, but I shouldn't have. I wasn't being fair to you and I was only doing it because I was hurt and angry and I was lashing out. But I don't want you to ever think that those thoughts were your fault or that you have anything to make up for now."

"Rachel—"

"You were hurting too, Quinn," Rachel interrupted. "Just as much as I was and I failed to see it. The roles could have easily been reversed, and if they were, would you want me blaming myself right now?"

"No," Quinn replied.

"Then how can you blame yourself?" Rachel said, placing a kiss on Quinn's shoulder.

Quinn sighed before turning to look at Rachel. "Are you telling me you _wouldn't_ blame yourself if the roles were reversed?"

Rachel opened her mouth for a moment but closed it rather than lie to Quinn. She knew she would feel responsible no matter how much Quinn tried to convince her otherwise.

"Just give me time," Quinn said.

"Do you—do you need space or maybe a break from this?" Rachel quietly asked, motioning between them.

Quinn shook her head and then leaned forward, bringing their lips together in a soft, lingering kiss.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked when Quinn pulled away. "Because you can tell me if you do."

"Being away from you is the last thing I ever want," Quinn replied, closing her eyes, and resting her forehead against Rachel's.


	35. A Different Kind of Happiness

**Chapter 35 – A Different Kind of Happiness**

Rachel cringed, trying to tune out the man who was on the small stage, but it was hard to do when he was butchering one of her favorite songs. She usually tried not to judge people too much when they were singing karaoke—it was just for fun, after all—but she didn't understand why people tried to sing power ballads when they clearly didn't have the musical talent for it.

"Unclench," Quinn whispered, putting her hand over Rachel's.

"I don't see why people insist on singing Barbra if they don't have the voice for it," Rachel said, relaxing a little as Quinn entwined their fingers together. "There are plenty of other songs to choose from."

"You looked like you could use a drink," Stephanie said, setting a glass down in front of Rachel before taking the seat she'd previously vacated.

"Thank you," Rachel said, giving Stephanie a smile.

"So, when are you two getting up there?" Stephanie asked, glancing toward Quinn.

"I believe we should be next, actually," Rachel answered.

She gave Quinn's hand a squeeze and then looked at her with a smile. She knew Quinn hadn't been thrilled about singing in front of so many people, but she had agreed to a duet with just a little convincing. Rachel knew Quinn had always wanted to sing with her in Glee Club as much as she did, though, and she thought it would be a shame if they let the opportunity pass by them.

"It's too bad I can't get Matt to sing with me," Stephanie said, giving her boyfriend a pointed look.

"I love you, but no way am I dueting with a professional singer," Matt replied.

"Quinn is," Stephanie said.

"Don't remind me," Quinn mumbled.

"You're going to be great, Quinn," Rachel replied. "You've always had a lovely voice and it isn't like you've never sung with me before. There were just other people there as well."

"Other people?" Matt asked.

"Quinn and I were in the Glee Club together in high school," Rachel explained. "Mr. Schue would often pit the girls against the boys, so Quinn and I have had plenty of experience signing together in a group. Unfortunately, we were never able to sing just the two of us."

"High school?" Matt said. "I didn't know you two have known each other so long."

"Yes," Rachel replied, glancing at Quinn. "This is the second time Quinn and I have been in a relationship." She squeezed Quinn's hand. "It took us a while to get it right."

"And now they're making up for it by singing karaoke," Stephanie said.

"Well, we could always go back to McKinley and hijack the choir room for a performance, but I don't think Mr. Schue would be very happy about it," Rachel replied with a laugh.

"So she somehow talked me into singing here," Quinn added.

"What'd I miss?" Nick asked, sitting down across from Rachel.

"These two are afraid of singing with their girlfriends," Stephanie said, pointing at Quinn and Matt.

Rachel felt Quinn's hand twitch and she knew her girlfriend didn't like what Stephanie has said. Thankfully, Quinn didn't say anything, and a few moments later the conversation was interrupted when their names were called out.

"Don't be nervous," Rachel whispered on the way to the stage. "Just imagine we're back in the choir room."

Quinn hummed in acknowledgement as they took their places on the stage. Rachel reluctantly released the blonde's hand when the music began to play, but she still had her eyes on Quinn, not needing to look at the lyrics as she started to sing.

"_Imagine me and you, I do  
__I think about you day and night, it's only right  
__To think about the girl you love and hold her tight  
__So happy together_

"_If I should call you up, invest a dime  
__And you say you belong to me and ease my mind  
__Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
__So happy together"_

She gave Quinn a smile as she joined in and their voices rang out together. After a few moments, Quinn smiled back, and Rachel had a feeling they were thinking the same thing—how she wished they could have done this long ago.

"_I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
__For all my life  
__When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
__For all my life"_

As Quinn began the next verse alone, Rachel looked over at her friends. She knew they were the reason Quinn was nervous about singing, but they all had smiles on the faces and Rachel knew them well enough to know they were genuine.

* * *

"I knew he'd get up there eventually," Stephanie commented.

Rachel laughed. "All he needed was a little liquid courage."

"Should I be worried that he'll sing with Nick, Alyson, and Oliver but not me?" Stephanie joked.

"I wish I could get Quinn up there for another song," Rachel said, looking over her shoulder at the woman in question, who was standing at the crowded bar.

"Good luck with that one," Stephanie replied. "She seems even more stubborn than Matt."

"Quinn is—okay, yes, she can be stubborn," Rachel agreed. "But I also know if I really asked her to sing with me again that she would. I don't want to pressure her, though. I want her to want to go up there." Rachel paused and clasped her hands together on the table. "So, you've never really told me what you think about Quinn. Now that you've had a chance to get to know her a little better."

"Do you care what I think about her?" Stephanie asked.

"I was just curious," Rachel replied with a shrug.

"I think—she makes you different," Stephanie said.

"Different?" Rachel asked.

Stephanie nodded. "You're different with her than you were with Finn."

"Oh," Rachel replied, furrowing her brows.

"It's not a bad different," Stephanie said. "I never thought Finn was right for you. He didn't belong here and I felt like he was holding you back. Now, I can see this spark in your eyes that wasn't there when you were with him. And I know Quinn's the reason for it. So, maybe we're not going to be best friends, but I like her. She makes you happy."

"She really does," Rachel softly said.

"She still doesn't seem to like me very much, though," Stephanie added.

"Quinn can just be a little guarded sometimes," Rachel said. "Especially around certain people. I guess old habits are hard to break."

Rachel knew Quinn was trying like she'd promised. Stephanie was right that they probably weren't going to become best friends, but Rachel at least wanted them to be on friendly terms. Finn had never been big on going out with her friends and she didn't want it to be the same with Quinn. Of course, Quinn seemed to get along fine with the rest of the group; it was only Stephanie that she hadn't seemed to click with and Rachel didn't really know why.

"She's coming back," Stephanie said.

Rachel looked over her shoulder just as Quinn approached the table and said, "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I bought you a water."

"Thank you," Rachel said, giving her a smile.

"I hate this song," Quinn commented as the song changed.

Rachel laughed. "I knew you were going to say that."

"Not an Alanis fan?" Stephanie asked.

"Finn and I sung this song one time in Glee," Rachel said, not taking her eyes off Quinn. "It was the first song we did together after he and I began dating."

"I wanted to punch him," Quinn remarked.

"Well, you hid it well," Rachel replied. "As much as I tried not to look at you, I couldn't help it. I remember thinking you just looked bored."

Quinn shook her head. "I hated it. I hated every time you sang with him."

"I know," Rachel replied, smiling sadly at her.

"At least you won in the end," Stephanie said, looking at Quinn. "I was telling Rachel how much better suited I think you are for each other."

"You know, you could have said something while he and I were together," Rachel replied.

"And you would have listened?" Stephanie asked.

"Well—probably not," Rachel admitted. "I didn't want to be alone and Finn was safe. He was never going to be able to completely shatter my heart if things ended between us, and that's exactly what I needed. I needed to be safe from experiencing that again. I just wasn't ready for anything else. It was talking to you that one day that made me really think about things and I realized that keeping my heart safe no longer outweighed the possibility of being truly happy."

"I can't believe I have to leave tomorrow morning," Nick said, sitting down with a sigh.

"Why are you leaving so early?" Rachel asked.

"My parents are having a party on Sunday for their thirtieth wedding anniversary," Nick answered. "Since it's so close to the holidays, they talked me into staying until after Christmas. Nearly two weeks in Montana; I'm going to go crazy."

"I couldn't imagine being in Lima for two weeks," Rachel said, scrunching up her nose.

"When do you two leave for Ohio?" Stephanie asked.

"Next Friday," Rachel answered. "Thankfully we'll only be there for a week." She nudged Quinn with her shoulder. "We couldn't miss New Year's in the city."

"Does that mean you're coming to my party?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel looked at Quinn; they hadn't really talked about New Year's yet—she'd planned on bringing it up if that evening went well—so she didn't know if Quinn wanted to go. As long as they were together for the holiday, Rachel didn't really care where they spent it. Even if they just watched the ball drop in her living room, Rachel would be happy.

"We'll be there," Quinn said after a few moments, causing Rachel to smile.

* * *

"Hey," Quinn said with a smile.

Rachel leaned down, bringing their lips together in a quick kiss, and then pulling away with a, "Hi."

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked when Rachel sat down with a slight groan. "You're not hungover from last night, are you?"

"No," Rachel replied. "I was feeling fine this morning, but I began feeling really tired after you left."

Quinn frowned and then reached across the table, putting her hand on Rachel's forehead.

"You feel warm," Quinn said.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Rachel replied.

Rachel refused to believe she was getting sick. She prided herself on her strong immune system and getting ill was unacceptable to her. Especially when she had an audition in a few days and she needed to be at the top of her game.

"You should have called me," Quinn said. "We could have cancelled lunch."

Rachel shook her head. "It's fine. I'm just a little tired."

"Rachel," Quinn said, raising her eyebrow.

"Really," Rachel insisted. "I'm fine."

"Don't think I don't remember what happened the summer between our sophomore and junior years," Quinn replied. "You said you were fine then, too. And then you almost passed out."

"That was different," Rachel argued. "I had food poisoning then and became dehydrated."

Rachel cringed at the memory. She had spent half the night throwing up after going out to dinner with her fathers. When Quinn came over the next day, Rachel had insisted she was fine, but when she tried to stand up after watching a movie with Quinn, she had gotten so dizzy that she'd ended up on the floor.

"I promise I've drunk plenty of water this morning," Rachel added when Quinn didn't look convinced.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "And you call me stubborn."

Rachel opened her mouth to respond but closed it when their waitress arrived at the table. By the time she walked away with their drink orders, Rachel had decided not to argue the point, accepting that she was likely to lose the argument.

"So, you never really said anything about last night," Rachel commented. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

Quinn shrugged a shoulder. "You haven't heard me complain, have you?"

"No, but not complaining about it and actually having a good time are two different things," Rachel replied.

"It wasn't terrible," Quinn said.

Rachel narrowed her eyes. "You just don't want to admit that you enjoyed karaoke, do you?"

"No," Quinn replied with a slight smile.

"So, you're really okay with going to Stephanie's New Year's party then?" Rachel asked.

"I wouldn't have said we would go if I wasn't," Quinn replied.

"I know, but—you've just never seemed to like Stephanie very much," Rachel said, shrugging.

"I know you want to go, so we'll go," Quinn replied. "I also know how much you want me to get along with your friends and that's what I'm trying to do."

"I know you are," Rachel said, reaching out, and squeezing Quinn's hand. "And I'm hoping that will extend to when we're in Lima. I'm sure you'll see Kurt while you're there and the last time you two were together it was like—pardon the phrase, but it was like watching a pissing contest."

"You should be talking to him, not me," Quinn replied.

"I _am_ going to talk to him," Rachel said. "I'm not going to let him make things awkward and I'll be sure he behaves himself. I know how snippy he can be and I don't want you to be on the defensive. I want my best friend to know you as I do. I want him to see how sweet and funny you can be. I know he still sees you as the Quinn Fabray from high school, and I want him to get to know the real you."

"No pressure, right?" Quinn replied.

"I'm not trying to pressure you," Rachel assured her. "All you have to do is be yourself. That's all. And I know that won't happen if you feel like Kurt's attacking you, which is why I'm going to talk to him. If he fails to behave, though, I give you full permission to put him in his place. I'm not going to ask you to try to be nice to him if he's not being nice to you."

"Good," Quinn replied. "Because I love you, but I'm sure I would have broken that promise."

Rachel lightly shook her head. "I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to hearing you say that."

"What? That I love you?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied. "It's just—I don't know. I guess I just never thought I would hear it again from you and sometimes I still find all of this hard to believe."

"Do you want me to stop saying it?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head. "I like hearing you say it."

"Good," Quinn replied, giving her a smile. "Because I don't ever want to stop saying it again."

* * *

Rachel groaned when she heard her phone vibrating behind her. Sighing—and taking far too much effort—she turned over in bed and picked up the phone.

"Hi, Kurt," Rachel answered, pulling her comforter tighter around her.

"Ask me about my date last night," Kurt said.

"How was your date last night?" Rachel asked.

"It was amazing!" Kurt excitedly replied.

"That's great, Kurt," Rachel said, closing her eyes.

"Why don't you sound more excited for me?" Kurt asked.

"I'm sorry," Rachel replied. "I feel terrible; I think I have the flu."

She hated admitting it, but there was no denying it now. When she woke up that morning, she'd felt like she'd been run over by a truck overnight. Her whole body ached, she constantly had chills even though she had three blankets over her, and she had a fever.

"And we all know how much you hate being sick," Kurt said. "I still remember the last time you got the flu. You were impossible. I feel sorry for Quinn right now."

"I haven't actually told her yet," Rachel replied.

"Why not?" Kurt asked. "I figured she was there taking care of you."

"I don't want to ruin her Sunday," Rachel mumbled.

"Because I'm sure she thinks spending time with you is a terrible way to spend her day," Kurt said, and she could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "If everything you say about her is true, I'm sure she'll drop everything to come over."

"Tell me about your date," Rachel said, ignoring what Kurt said.

"Call your girlfriend," Kurt replied.

Rachel sighed. "I will after you tell me about this amazing date of yours, okay?"

"Fine," Kurt replied.

"Is it safe to assume this date was with Caleb?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Kurt replied sounding happier than she could ever remember. "Well, we drove to Columbus for the day. First he took me ice skating, which wasn't so great because I kept falling, but afterwards we had a romantic dinner at this fancy restaurant that had the best food. Seriously, I think the chef is magic. And then after dinner we went and saw Wicked, which he'd never seen before and I told him on our first date that he had to see the musical. And after that we went dancing for a bit before going back to the hotel and having a little fun just the two of us."

"I'm really happy for you, Kurt," Rachel said, smiling. "He sounds like a wonderful guy and I can't wait to meet him when I'm there."

"That's good," Kurt replied. "Because I've told him all about the famous Rachel Berry. Although, he'd heard about you before I ever told him anything. Apparently Mr. Schue told him about the Glee Club and our win at Nationals when he saw Caleb looking at our trophy and picture."

"Is that still in the hallway?" Rachel wondered.

"For everyone to see," Kurt replied. "I guess they're proud of us now that they know it's probably the only time the McKinley High Glee Club is ever going to win Nationals."

"How did they do at Sectionals this year?" Rachel asked.

"Third place," Kurt said. "I wonder if Mr. Schue realizes yet that he needs to change his method and we only won because of the talent of people like you and me. You know it's true!"

"I wasn't arguing," Rachel said with a frown.

"Not you," Kurt replied. "Finn just scowled at me."

"Because of what you said or because of who you're talking to?" Rachel asked.

Kurt paused for a moment before saying, "Take your pick."

Rachel sighed. "I hope he doesn't make things difficult while Quinn and I are there."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about," Kurt replied. "I think if he sees you he'll probably just ignore you. And then come home and sulk."

"And if he sees Quinn?" Rachel said.

"I really don't know," Kurt replied. "I think it could go either way depending on his mood that day. I don't know what you're worried about, though; we all know Quinn can hold her own."

"I know, but that doesn't mean she should have to," Rachel said. "Quinn did nothing wrong and I don't want him taking everything out on her."

"Maybe he won't," Kurt said. "Maybe you won't even see him."

"Yeah," Rachel replied with a sigh. "Maybe."

"Now, I'm going to hang up with you so you can call your girlfriend," Kurt stated. "Let her take care of you and give her my condolences."

Rachel huffed. "I resent that."

Kurt laughed. "I'm just glad it's not me this time."

"I'm hanging up now," Rachel said, turning onto her back with a groan.

"Remember my condolences," Kurt quickly said.

"Goodbye, Kurt," Rachel replied.

* * *

"Quinn! I told you not to come; I don't want you getting sick."

"Did you really think I was going to listen?" Quinn asked, walking past Rachel.

"But you have to work and we leave for Lima in less than a week," Rachel stated as she closed the door.

"Unlike you, I actually got a flu shot this year," Quinn replied.

"Flu shots are not a hundred percent effective," Rachel said.

"Oh well," Quinn replied, leaning over, and kissing Rachel before she could stop her.

"Quinn!" Rachel said, putting her hands on her hips. "What if you get sick?"

Quinn smiled. "I hate to break it to you, but even if I hadn't gotten a flu shot this year, I'd still be here."

Rachel sighed knowing there was nothing she could do about Quinn now. She didn't have the energy to make her leave, and even if she did, Quinn had already been exposed to her germs. Plus, if she was being truthful, she didn't actually want her to go. The last thing she wanted was for Quinn to come down with the flu as well, but just seeing her there made Rachel feel a little bit better. She hated being sick, but even more than that, she hated being alone when she was sick.

"I stopped by the store," Quinn said, setting a bag on the kitchen island before removing her gloves and coat. "I bought some medicine and some immune boosting tea because I know you're probably cursing it right now."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "You know me so well sometimes."

"Come on," Quinn said, nodding toward Rachel's bedroom. "Let's get you back to bed."

Rachel didn't protest; she felt exhausted from simply standing there and she was freezing despite having a fever.

"Have you eaten?" Quinn asked as they walked into the bedroom.

Rachel shook her head. "I didn't feel like getting out of bed to make anything."

"I guess it's a good thing I ordered from the cafe on the corner, then," Quinn remarked.

"You did?" Rachel asked, crawling into bed.

"Three different kinds of soup," Quinn said with a nod. "I figured whatever you don't eat now can go in the fridge for later. I'll be here all day, though, so if you want anything else just let me know."

"You don't have to stay all day," Rachel replied. "I can't imagine it's going to be very much fun."

Quinn shrugged. "I'll be okay."

"I'm sorry I ruined your Sunday," Rachel said.

"You haven't ruined anything for me," Quinn replied. "I get to spend the day with my girlfriend and I'll never complain about that. _You're_ the one whose Sunday is ruined. And just in time for your birthday tomorrow."

Rachel groaned. "Don't remind me. I hope you didn't have anything special planned for it."

Quinn hadn't said what she had planned for her birthday, but Rachel had a feeling she was planning something. And judging by the smile Quinn gave her, she figured she was right. Unfortunately, whatever it was would have to wait. Rachel thought about asking Quinn what she'd had planned, but she knew it would only make her feel even worse, so she remained silent.

"Don't worry about it," Quinn said. "We'll just spend the evening here, instead. Worry about getting better so you actually feel like going to Lima. Although, it would be a good excuse not to go."

Rachel smiled. "Having second thoughts?"

Quinn shrugged. "Spending a week with my mom is never fun."

"But you're not having second thoughts about anything else?" Rachel asked. "After all, it will be the first time we've gone back since becoming a couple again and people actually know now."

"I'm not worried about people seeing us together," Quinn said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. You should know that by now."

"I know," Rachel replied. "I just—I don't want you to feel any pressure. Or think you have to do this because it's something I want. If you're uncomfortable in any way, you can tell me."

"Rachel, I really don't care if the whole world knows," Quinn said. "Okay?"

Rachel nodded. "Okay."

"If you're worried about it, though—"

"I'm not," Rachel interrupted, shaking her head. "I mean, I'm sure it's going to be weird, but I'm not worried. Well, I'm not worried about anyone else finding out. I am a little concerned about what Finn may do. Or at least what he may say to you if he were to run into you."

"Don't worry about that," Quinn replied.

"I can't help it," Rachel said. "I don't want him to take his anger out on you."

"I would get it if he did," Quinn replied. "If anyone understands what it's like to lose you, it's me."

"You're really not worried?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shook her head as she entwined their fingers together. "Not even a little."

* * *

**The song Quinn and Rachel sang was Happy Together by The Turtles.**


	36. Our Town

**Chapter 36 – Our Town**

"Home sweet home," Rachel said, looking over at Quinn.

"It's been a while since I've been here," Quinn commented as she put the car into park and turned off the ignition.

Rachel couldn't actually remember the last time Quinn had been at the Berry residence. She figured it was the weekend before she broke up with Quinn, but she couldn't remember the specifics.

"Do you remember the last time you were here?" Rachel wondered.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

Rachel lightly shook her head. "I can't remember. That time is kind of a blur to me, though."

"You're fathers were away for the day," Quinn said. "You found alone me in the bathroom at school on Friday and told me to come over the next day if I didn't have plans. We started watching a movie, but we didn't get very far into it before neither of us was paying attention."

Rachel nodded, a smile slowly forming on her face. "You're right; I remember now. That was also the last time we were together."

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "But what a last time it was."

Rachel laughed. "You're right about that." She paused for a moment as she looked at Quinn. "You don't have to come in if you don't want to. I know it may be weird for you."

"I'm helping you with your bag," Quinn said.

Rachel huffed. "That is unnecessary, Quinn."

"You just had the flu," Quinn replied.

"Which I am now recovered from thanks to the wonder of prescription drugs," Rachel said.

"Fine, I won't carry them if you can look me in the eyes and tell me you feel a hundred percent," Quinn replied, raising her eyebrow.

Rachel sighed. "No, but that—"

"I'm carrying your bags," Quinn interrupted.

"Fine," Rachel said with a huff.

Quinn shook her head but had a smile on her face. "I know you, Rachel. I doubt you really have a problem with someone carrying your bags. You just don't want someone thinking you can't do something. And I know you _can_ do it; I just don't think you should have to right now. Okay?"

"Okay," Rachel replied, opening the door.

Quinn followed her out of the car and walked around to the trunk, where she pulled out Rachel's suitcase. Rachel looked over her shoulder at the house, wondering if her fathers were home yet. They'd offered to pick them up from the airport, but Rachel saw no reason for them to miss work. Plus, Quinn had sold her car before going to New York and she didn't want to have to borrow her mother's while they were there, so she had gotten the rental at the airport to make it easier on everyone.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel answered with a nod. "I was just wondering if anyone is home."

"Let's find out," Quinn said, taking Rachel's hand.

Rachel smiled and then led Quinn toward the house, pulling out her old key along the way. As they neared the door, though, it flew open, and before she knew it, she was being enveloped in a hug.

"Hi, Dad," Rachel said with a laugh. "Did you miss me?"

"Always," Hiram answered.

"It's only been a month and a half since you saw me," Rachel remarked.

"Yes, but having you here is different," Hiram replied, releasing her from the hug.

"Hi, Daddy," Rachel said, receiving a hug from Leroy.

"Hi, Sweetie," Leroy replied, giving her a squeeze before letting her go and looking over her shoulder. "Hi, Quinn."

"Hello, Mr. Berry," Quinn said.

"There will be no Mr. Berry-ing in this household," Hiram stated. "You're our daughter's girlfriend; that makes you a part of the family now. Not to mention that it could get very confusing."

Hiram gave her a smile, which she returned, but Rachel knew it was a little forced. She couldn't really blame Quinn given how she met the two men, but that was one thing Rachel was hoping to change while they were there. She wanted her parents to get to know Quinn better and she hoped Quinn could learn to relax around them.

"Why don't we get inside?" Leroy said. "It's a little chilly out here."

"It doesn't feel so bad to me," Rachel replied. "It's been positively freezing in New York this week. We even had a few inches of snow on the ground this morning and there was a lovely patch of ice just outside my apartment building."

"Oh no," Hiram said with a laugh.

"It's okay," Rachel replied. "Quinn managed to catch me."

"It sounds like you should keep her around," Leroy joked.

"I plan to," Rachel said, looking over, and giving Quinn a smile.

* * *

"I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it."

Rachel rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile on her face as Kurt stepped forward and she wrapped her arms around him.

"I told you I was going to be here," Rachel said, releasing Kurt.

"I know, but I can't remember the last time you came to Lima without putting up a fight," Kurt replied as he pulled off his scarf.

"Well, I have a few less reasons to stay away now," Rachel said. "Lima will never be my favorite place, but I don't feel like I need to avoid it any longer."

"And all because of a girl," Kurt remarked.

"It's not as if Quinn is just any girl," Rachel replied.

"Clearly," Kurt said. "She's the girl you've always loved."

Rachel opened her mouth but closed it a moment later and looked down.

"No denial?" Kurt said, raising his eyebrow.

"I'll admit that I've always had feelings for Quinn," Rachel replied. "She was my first love and it's hard to let something like that go. But right now I'm trying to keep us from moving too fast. As great as Quinn has been—I still worry that things won't work out and where will that leave me? I'm not ready for—" Rachel sighed and shook her head.

"Who was at the door?" Leroy called out from the kitchen.

"It's Kurt," Rachel called back. "He didn't believe me when I said I was coming, so he had to see it for himself."

Leroy laughed. "I know the feeling."

Rachel shook her head. "I can't believe my own father thought I was lying. And my best friend!"

"Can you blame us?" Kurt asked. "You've been so adamant about not coming back to Lima."

"Like I said—things change," Rachel replied.

"How is Quinn, by the way?" Kurt asked.

Rachel nodded toward the stairs before saying, "Quinn is good. She wasn't looking forward to spending so much time with her mother, though."

"Does she know you two are in a serious relationship?" Kurt wondered as he followed her up the stairs.

"Quinn has told her we're dating, yes," Rachel replied. "I don't think Quinn has told her about our past or anything, but they don't really talk that much. Quinn says whenever she does try to talk to her about things like that, her mom just changes the subject. Quinn isn't hiding our relationship from her, though. I've heard her correct her mom whenever she referred to me as her friend."

Kurt shook his head, and Rachel knew he probably felt the same way she did. She couldn't understand how a parent could be that way toward their child. Rachel hated that Quinn's relationship with her mom was so strained and that her relationship with her father was nonexistent. She knew there wasn't a lot she could do about it, and maybe there was nothing she could do about Judy's disapproval of their relationship, but she was determined to try while they were there. She was certainly going to do her best to make it hard on Judy to dislike her.

"How's it going with your fathers? Kurt asked, walking into the bedroom after Rachel. "I assume they've seen Quinn."

"Yes," Rachel replied. "And my fathers were perfectly nice. I trusted that they were going to give her a chance and I they seem to be doing just that. Part of the reason I came was because I want them to get to know her. As much as I tell them about her when I talk to them, I know all they probably see is how I was after Quinn and I broke up. And I don't want it to be like that; I want them to see _her_. Just like I want you to. Not how she was in high school, but who she is now."

"I've promised I'll be on my best behavior," Kurt said, holding up his hands.

"I know," Rachel replied as she sat down on the edge of her old bed. "And I was wondering what your plans are for tomorrow night? Because if you're not busy, I was thinking maybe we can all go out. With Caleb, too, of course. I would very much like to meet your boyfriend. Quinn is coming over for dinner, but I thought maybe we could all go see a movie or something."

"We do have plans, but they were to go watch the new Star Wars movie, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you joined us," Kurt said. "I don't know how Quinn feels about Star Wars, though."

Rachel smiled. "She's a fan."

"Really?" Kurt asked, his eyebrow rising.

"There's a lot you have yet to learn about Quinn Fabray," Rachel replied.

"It would appear so," Kurt remarked.

* * *

Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's neck and pulled her into a kiss as she kicked the door closed. It had only been a day, but for some reason she felt like it had been much longer since she last saw her girlfriend. Maybe it was being back in Lima, but time seemed like it was going much slower than usual.

"Hello to you, too," Quinn said when Rachel pulled back, their faces only inches apart.

"Hi," Rachel replied.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, running her hand down Rachel's arm.

Rachel nodded, giving Quinn a smile. "I'm just happy you're here."

Rachel began leaning up again but froze when she heard someone clear their throat. When she looked over, Hiram was standing in the doorway that led to the kitchen, an amused smile on his face. Rachel removed her arms from Quinn's neck and took a step away, trying not to blush. It wasn't something she would normally be embarrassed by—it's not like they hadn't seen her kiss someone before—but she couldn't help thinking about what happened back in New York, and the last thing she wanted was for Quinn to feel even more uncomfortable around her fathers.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Rachel asked, hoping to break the awkwardness.

"Yeah, sure," Quinn said as she began pulling off her coat. "Anything is fine."

"Do you drink wine?" Hiram asked.

"I—yeah," Quinn answered.

"Is white okay?" Hiram asked.

"Yes," Quinn replied. "Thank you."

Rachel glanced at Quinn for a moment before reaching down and taking her hand. She could see the tension in Quinn's body, but she was hoping she would relax after a bit. She knew Quinn's first encounter with Hiram and Leroy was far from ideal, but she didn't want Quinn's embarrassment to stop her from feeling comfortable there.

"Just be yourself tonight," Rachel said, giving Quinn's hand a squeeze.

"I'll try," Quinn replied.

"C'mon," Rachel said, tugging Quinn toward the living room. "Dinner still has a bit to go, so I got Daddy to start a fire."

Quinn slowly smiled. "I remember the last time we were in front of this fire."

Rachel lightly laughed. "How could either of us forget? That was certainly a fun night." Rachel glanced around to make sure Hiram hadn't returned. "And a little unexpected. It was the first time anyone other than myself had given me an orgasm."

Quinn hummed as she sat down in the couch, and Rachel could see her cheeks were slightly pink. "You and me both."

"It's too bad neither of our apartments has a fireplace," Rachel commented. "I think it may be something I require with my next one."

"Do you plan on moving sometime soon?" Quinn asked.

"No, but I won't live there forever," Rachel replied.

"Won't live where forever?" Hiram asked.

Rachel looked over her shoulder as her father walked across the living room. "In my current apartment."

Hiram nodded and then glanced at Quinn before looking back at his daughter. "Are you planning on moving?"

"Not at the moment," Rachel replied, shaking her head. "I was just telling Quinn I would like to have a fireplace in my next place."

"Thank you," Quinn said when Hiram handed her a glass off wine.

"And for you," Hiram said, giving Rachel the other in his hand.

"Thanks," Rachel replied, smiling.

"So, Quinn, do you have roommates or are you lucky enough to live alone?" Hiram asked, taking a seat in the chair

"No. No roommates," Quinn replied. "I had enough of those in college."

"You two are lucky," Hiram remarked.

"Yes we are," Rachel quickly said before her father thought about asking if they were going to be moving into together anytime soon. "Um, so, how is it going with your mom?"

Quinn shrugged. "It could be better."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, frowning.

"She actually suggested I come to church with her tomorrow because there's someone she wants me to me," Quinn added with a roll of her eyes. "She didn't say who, but I'm going to assume it's a guy."

"What did you tell her?" Rachel wondered.

"That I have plans with my girlfriend," Quinn answered. "She walked away then. Because Lord knows she can't acknowledge anything I actually say to her."

Rachel shook her head. "I'm really sorry."

"You know, if it gets too bad there, you can always stay here," Hiram said.

"I may take you up on that," Quinn replied. "Especially when my sister and her husband arrive."

"They're coming?" Rachel asked.

"Unfortunately," Quinn said. "My mom failed to tell me that until I was already here."

"Honey!" Leroy called out.

"I'll be right there," Hiram said, standing up.

Rachel watched her father for a moment before turning back to Quinn. "You can stay here if you want. Maybe it'll be easier. You can still see your family, but you won't have to be around them as much."

"You really think they would be okay with that?" Quinn asked.

"My father wouldn't have offered if he wasn't," Rachel replied. "Think about it, okay? Even if you just need to get away for a night."

"I may," Quinn said, squeezing her hand, and giving her a soft smile.

* * *

"Sometimes I forget what this town is like," Rachel commented, all too aware of the amount of looks she was getting for walking hand in hand with Quinn.

"I never have," Quinn replied.

"I never feel like I'm being stared at in New York," Rachel said.

"And here I thought you liked being the center of attention," Quinn replied, giving her a wry smile.

"Only if people are going to applaud at the end," Rachel said with a laugh.

"Who knows—maybe they will," Quinn joked as she opened the door to the theater.

Rachel laughed again and began leading them to the ticket booth. The line was fairly long, but since Kurt was saving them seats, she hadn't been too worried about getting there as early as she usually would. She did want to meet Caleb before the movie began, but she knew there would be plenty of time to talk after.

"They've remodeled," Rachel observed as they stood in line.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"I wonder when they did it," Rachel said.

"I don't know," Quinn replied. "I haven't been here since we were in high school."

"Last year."

Rachel froze for a moment and then looked over her shoulder. "Hello, Noah."

Puck looked down at Rachel and Quinn's hands and smirked. Beside him, however, was a very unamused looking Finn, who was looking anywhere but at them.

"Okay, I'm gonna get some popcorn," Puck said, hitting Finn's arm, and then holding up a ten dollar bill. "Get my ticket, man."

Rachel quickly turned around as Finn took the money and scowled at Puck. She glanced at Quinn, who looked about as thrilled at Finn did, and then let out a light sigh. She thought about saying hi to Finn, but she figured it would be best to follow his lead. He clearly wanted to pretend they weren't there, so that's what she was going to do too. Even if it was easier said than done.

"Isn't this fun," Quinn said after a few moments of tense silence, and Rachel couldn't help but smile.

Finn mumbled something under his breath, but she couldn't understood what he said and she wasn't going to worry about it. She hated that things were so strained, but she'd accepted that there was nothing she could do about it. Finn was the one who needed to move past things. She held no ill will toward him and she hated that he was hurt by everything, but she wasn't going to drop Quinn's hand and pretend as if nothing was going on.

"I've got it," Quinn said when they were next in line to the ticket booth and Rachel began looking for her debit card.

"But you paid for dinner all last week," Rachel replied.

"And I'm paying for this too," Quinn said, squeezing her hand before stepping forward.

As Quinn bought the tickets, Rachel could feel Finn's eyes on her. She didn't look back, though, keeping her eyes on Quinn instead.

"Thank you," Rachel said when Quinn turned around and handed her a ticket.

Rachel sighed and linked her arm around Quinn's, pulling her away from the line before Finn said something to her or before Quinn decided to say something to him. She relaxed a little bit, though, when they walked into the theater and she spotted Kurt sitting in the back row. Because she had a feeling Finn and Puck were going to end up in same theater as them, but she knew Finn liked to sit a lot closer to the screen, so at least they would be nowhere near each other.

"There you two are!" Kurt said before his eyes landed on Quinn. "Is something wrong?"

"Finn is here," Rachel answered.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Of course he is. He didn't say anything to either of you, did he?"

"No," Rachel replied. "I think he was trying to pretend we weren't right in front of him in line." Rachel sighed before looking at the man next to Kurt and giving him a smile. "Enough about that, though. Hi! I'm Rachel. You must be Caleb."

"I've heard a lot about you," Caleb said, smiling back.

"And this is Quinn," Rachel added.

"Hey," Quinn said.

"It's nice to meet you both," Caleb replied.

"And Finn just walked in," Kurt stated.

"Should we leave?" Caleb asked. "Do you want to leave?"

Rachel shook her head as she took the seat next to Kurt. "It was bound to happen sooner or later. Lima isn't a huge town, after all."

"Let us know if you change your mind," Caleb said.

"Thank you," Rachel replied.

Rachel looked at Quinn, who had sat down next to her, and gave her a smile before softly asking, "Are you okay?"

Quinn nodded and then leaned over and gave Rachel a quick kiss. "I'm fine."

"Good," Rachel replied. "But if you're not—"

"I am," Quinn interrupted, entwining their fingers together. "Are you?"

Rachel nodded before resting her head against Quinn's shoulder. "As long as you're here."

* * *

"I can't believe you went to karaoke without me!" Kurt said, shaking his head.

"Well, you were in another state at the time," Rachel replied.

"So?" Kurt said, taking a sip of his tea.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Fine. Next time I will let you know so you can drop everything and come to New York for karaoke, okay?"

"You better," Kurt replied. "Maybe I could even get Caleb to join me."

"To New York, yes, but to get on a stage and sing?" Caleb shook his head. "I can't sing."

"I'm sure you can sing just fine," Rachel replied.

"He refuses to let me hear him," Kurt remarked.

"There's a reason for that," Caleb replied.

"It's okay. You could not sing with me while these two monopolize the stage," Quinn said.

"Would we really do that?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Kurt answered.

Rachel huffed. "Okay, fine."

"I would be completely fine with that," Caleb said. "I've heard Kurt sing and he's amazing. And considering you've been on Broadway, I'm sure you're just as amazing."

"You will have to come to New York soon and find out," Rachel replied, smiling.

"I've never actually been before," Caleb said.

"Which is something we're going to have to change," Kurt replied.

"You would be more than welcome to stay at my apartment," Rachel offered.

"Sounds like fun," Caleb said.

"Do you want another?" Rachel asked when she noticed Quinn shake her empty cup.

"I think they're getting ready to close, actually," Quinn replied.

Rachel looked over at the woman wiping down the tables. "I think you're right. We should probably leave so we don't keep her from going home."

"Do you two have plans for tomorrow?" Kurt asked as he stood up.

"I'm free until dinner," Rachel answered as she stood, putting her coat on. "I told my fathers we could have dinner together, though."

Kurt nodded. "Quinn?"

"My sister is coming in tomorrow morning," Quinn replied. "My mom expects me to be there so we can pretend to be one big, happy family."

"Well, how about the three of us get lunch?" Kurt suggested. "And, Quinn, if you change your mind, you can always let Rachel know."

"That sounds great," Rachel replied, giving Kurt a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kurt said before looking at Quinn. "And maybe we'll see each other again before you leave."

Quinn nodded. "Yeah."

"It was great meeting you both," Caleb said.

"You too," Rachel said, smiling at him. "I'll be sure to show you that video of the Glee Club tomorrow."

"I look forward to it," Caleb said with a laugh as Kurt groaned.

"Okay, maybe this meeting was a bad idea," Kurt said, grabbing Caleb's hand, and pulling him toward the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Rachel called out before looking at Quinn. "It's nice to finally see Kurt happy."

Quinn hummed as she took Rachel's hand. "He's definitely an improvement over Blaine."

"I think he may have found the one," Rachel said.

"You do?" Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded as she began leading them toward the door. "I have a sense about these things."

"Does that also apply to yourself?" Quinn asked.

"I—" Rachel closed her mouth and glanced at Quinn as she opened the door for her. "I don't know."

"Well, if you ever _do_ know, will you tell me?" Quinn asked, nudging her shoulder into Rachel's.

"You'll be the first to know," Rachel replied.

They walked across the parking lot in silence, and Rachel noticed Quinn glance at her several times. Quinn didn't say anything, though, and when they reached their rental car, Rachel stopped, pulling Quinn to a halt as well.

"What is it?" Rachel asked. "You keep looking at me."

Quinn shrugged. "You're beautiful."

Rachel ducked her head and took Quinn's other hand. "I know your sister is coming in the morning, but would you maybe want to spend the night tonight? I'm sure you could be home before she ever gets there, and—I missed falling asleep next to you last night. I kind of got used to it over the past week." Rachel smiled. "I liked sleeping with you next to me every night."

"Alright," Quinn said, tucking a strand of hair behind Rachel's ear.

Rachel's smile grew. "And here I had a whole speech planned about why you should sleep over."

"Did you really think I was going to say no?" Quinn asked.

"Well, I hoped not, but I had it prepared just in case," Rachel replied.

Quinn leaned down, bringing their lips together, and then pulling back with a soft smile of her own. "In case you're ever wondering again, I'd spend every night with you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Rachel replied, wrapping her arms around Quinn's neck, and pulling her down into another kiss.

* * *

**Just so you all know, there are only 5 chapters left.**


	37. Family

**Chapter 37 – Family**

"Quinn, this is beautiful," Rachel said, tears springing to her eyes as she looked over at her girlfriend.

She ran her finger along the pendant—a diamond musical note—and then slowly lifted the necklace out of the box. When she looked at Quinn again, she was intently watching her, an expression on her face that almost looked worried.

"I love it, Quinn," Rachel said, holding it out for her. "Will you put it on me?"

Quinn took the necklace from her, and Rachel reached behind, unfastening the chain she was already wearing. She then turned her back to Quinn and lifted her hair, glancing over her shoulder. Quinn locked eyes with her for a moment before dropping her gaze and stepping forward to put the necklace around Rachel's neck.

"Thank you," Rachel said, letting her hair down, and touching the pendant on her chest.

"Do you really like it?" Quinn asked.

"I told you, I love it," Rachel replied. "Really. It's beautiful."

Quinn smiled. "I have one more thing for you."

"This was more than enough," Rachel said as Quinn picked up her bag. "You didn't have to get me anything else."

"I know," Quinn replied. "This isn't something I bought, though. At least not recently."

Rachel furrowed her brows as she looked down and watched as Quinn pulled a familiar red, white, and black jacket out. She hadn't seen it since they were in high school, but she would never forget Quinn's Cheerios jacket. She wore it every winter along with all the other cheerleaders. Rachel had been envious of the girls who had that jacket. They were the popular ones, which was something Rachel never got to experience.

"This was in my old room," Quinn said. "As soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted you to have it. I know you always wanted to be able to wear it when you were my girlfriend, but I couldn't let you then. And I wanted to. I wished I could have given it to you and walked down the hallway, hand in hand, with you in my letterman jacket. And that will never happen. I can't go back and change anything, but I want you to have it now."

"Quinn—" Rachel shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Quinn said.

Rachel took the jacket from Quinn and ran her hand along the collar. When she looked up, Quinn was watching her again, a soft smile on her face as she watched her.

"Thank you," Rachel whispered, walking forward, and pulling Quinn down into a kiss.

Quinn's arms slowly snaked around her waist, pulling their bodies closer together. Rachel put her free arm around Quinn's neck, her other hand still gripping the jacket. When Quinn pulled back, Rachel let out a contented sigh. After a few moments, she opened her eyes to find her girlfriend staring at her with a look Rachel was finally beginning to get used to. A look that told Rachel she was the one for Quinn.

She would be lying if she said it didn't scare her, but it was a different kind of fear than before. She had been afraid that Quinn would break her heart, but now she wondered what would happen if she didn't. Rachel Berry had always been a dreamer, and now that everything she'd ever wanted was right in front of her, it was slightly terrifying. Especially when Quinn was standing in front of her, looking at her like she was.

"What time do you have to be home?" Rachel asked.

"Who says I need to be home?" Quinn asked back.

"Well, it is Christmas Day; I assumed you needed to spend the evening with your family," Rachel replied.

Quinn shrugged. "I would rather be here with you."

"I would rather you be with me, too," Rachel replied with a soft smile. "But I would hate for it to cause things to be even more strained between you and your family. Your mother already doesn't approve of our relationship; I don't want her to dislike me even more. And your sister—I've never even gotten a chance to meet her. What if she hates me before she ever even meets me?"

"So, what you're saying is you're kicking me out?" Quinn said.

"No! Of course not!" Quinn began laughing at Rachel's quick repose and the brunette huffed. "That was very mean. And of course I don't want you to go, but I also don't want to upset your family."

"Okay, fine," Quinn replied. "I guess we shouldn't make Wednesday even more difficult."

"No, we shouldn't," Rachel said. "I plan on charming them, and that will be more difficult if they're angry with me."

"Can I at least stay another hour before I have to go?" Quinn asked.

Rachel smiled. "Of course."

* * *

"We're going to the high school?" Rachel asked, looking over at Quinn when she pulled into McKinley High's parking lot.

Quinn nodded as she drove to the parking spot nearest to the door, the space typically reserved for the principal, and brought the car to a stop. She noticed a slight hesitation in Quinn's actions as she slowly reached up and turned the car off before pulling the keys out of the ignition. Quinn didn't immediately move, though; she remained seated as she stared out at the building, and Rachel stayed silent as she watched Quinn while wondering why they were at their old high school.

"Are you okay, Quinn?' Rachel asked after several minutes.

"Yeah, sorry," Quinn replied, looking over at her. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shrugged. "Everything."

Rachel slipped her hand underneath Quinn's, her palm facing up, and intertwined their fingers together. Before she could say anything, though, Quinn had squeezed her hand and was opening her door. The rush of cold air sent a shiver through Rachel, and she let go of Quinn's hand, pulling her scarf tighter around her neck before following Quinn out of the car.

"You know, the school is probably locked," Rachel said, closing her door as she watched Quinn.

"As cheap as the administration is, something tells me they haven't changed their locks in the last five years," Quinn replied, holding up a set of keys.

"Are those to the school?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brows together.

"Coach Sylvester gave them to me when I became cheerleading captain," Quinn replied with a smirk. "She never asked for them back, so I never returned them."

"Quinn!" Rachel said, gaping at her girlfriend. "What if they had tried to have you arrested for stealing school equipment?"

"They're just keys, Rachel," Quinn replied. "C'mon."

"What if someone catches us?" Rachel asked.

"What are they going to do, arrest the biggest success to come out of McKinley High?" Quinn asked, waving toward Rachel.

"I would hardly consider myself a huge success," Rachel replied.

"You graduated from NYADA, you've been on Broadway—that's more than you can say for anyone who graduated from this place," Quinn argued.

"That doesn't mean they won't arrest me for trespassing," Rachel said, shaking her head.

Quinn held out her hand and Rachel stared at it for a few moments. Sighing, she walked over and grabbed it, bringing a smile to Quinn's face.

"If we get caught, you know I'm blaming you, right?" Rachel asked.

"If we get caught, run," Quinn replied.

"I've never known you to suggest evading the police," Rachel said as Quinn opened the front door.

"That's not entirely true," Quinn replied. "Have you forgotten that time at the lake?"

Rachel slowly smiled and then let out a light laugh. "How could I forgot? I think skinny dipping with you is the craziest thing I've ever done."

"You and me both," Quinn replied.

They fell silent for a few moments before Rachel asked, "So, are we here for a particular reason?"

"I just thought—I wanted to come back where it all began," Quinn said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Where _we_ began."

Rachel nodded and let go of Quinn's hand, looping her arm around Quinn's instead. "I've spent so much time hating this place, but I guess I can't hate everything about it. We did meet here and have our first kiss here. We danced together for the first time and—"

"Said we love each other for the first time," Quinn added.

Rachel smiled. "We had a lot of firsts here."

"And then we had our first, and hopefully only, breakup," Quinn remarked with a sigh. "I screwed up so much back then. I was so terrified that I just ended up hurting us both. I felt completely alone except for you, and then I let you walk away. If I had just stopped you, maybe we wouldn't have wasted so much time."

"Quinn—"

"Us breaking up is the worst thing that's ever happened to me," Quinn said with tears in her eyes.

"I know," Rachel quietly said.

"I don't even really know why I wanted to bring you here," Quinn replied, looking over at Rachel. "I've just been thinking a lot about it since we got into town, and I wanted to come here. Maybe I was hoping we could put everything to rest if we came back here, which is stupid. Nothing is that easy."

"You're right," Rachel agreed. "It's not. But I think we've been putting everything to rest for a while now and that we're going to be okay. That's not to say we're not going to have issues on occasion, but we're okay."

Quinn nodded as a smile slowly spread across her face and she whispered, "We're okay."

* * *

"Hey, Rachel!"

Rachel turned around at the sound of her name and looked around for a moment before seeing Tina walking her way. She gave the other woman a smile and then noticed Mercedes lagging slightly behind her.

"I didn't know you were in for Christmas," Tina said.

"Really?" Rachel asked. "I'm surprised Kurt didn't mention it."

"We heard about your breakup with Finn," Mercedes said.

"We were sorry to hear about it," Tina added, shooting Mercedes a slight glare.

"Oh, yeah, it's fine," Rachel replied.

"Sam told us a few weeks ago," Tina said, giving her a sympathetic look. "I guess he heard it from Finn."

"I guess the gossip mill isn't what it used to be," Rachel said with a light laugh.

"Yeah, he said you two broke up months ago," Mercedes replied. "I don't know how Kurt didn't tell us about that."

"Oh, well, I think Kurt was just trying to protect Finn," Rachel remarked, causing the two women in front of her to suddenly look more interested.

"But I thought Finn broke up with you," Mercedes said, earning a nudge from Tina.

"Yes, but—it's complicated," Rachel replied with a shake of her head.

"Hey, Rach, they didn't have Red Vines, so I got you Twizzlers," Quinn said, coming to a halt when she looked up from her phone and saw Mercedes and Tina.

"Quinn!" Tina said, looking between the blonde and Rachel.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Mercedes asked.

"We just thought we would see a movie since there isn't a lot else to do in this town," Rachel answered.

"You're here together?" Mercedes asked.

"Yeah," Quinn said, slipping her hand around Rachel's waist.

The action didn't go unnoticed by the other two. Their eyes both darted down and then Tina slowly looked between the two of them while Mercedes had a frown on her face.

"Rachel was just telling us about her breakup with Finn," Tina said. "I know it's hard to break up with your first love."

Rachel glanced up at Quinn before looking back at Tina and Mercedes. "Actually, Finn wasn't my first love."

She looked over at Quinn again, hoping the blonde understood what she was trying ask with her eyes. She knew Quinn had said that she didn't care who knew, but saying that and standing there having the actual conversation were two different things. Quinn smiled at her, though, and gently squeezed her side, and Rachel knew she had no objections. So, after shooting a quick smile back at Quinn, Rachel turned to the other two and said, "Quinn was."

Mercedes was the first to break the silence with her laughter. "Okay, you really want us to believe there's something going on with you two?"

Mercedes was still laughing, but when Rachel looked over at Tina, she was definitely not laughing. The dark haired girl's eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open, and Rachel knew she didn't believe it was a joke like her friend did.

"When did this happen?" Tina asked.

"You don't seriously believe them, do you?" Mercedes asked back, rolling her eyes.

"Why would Quinn and I lie about our relationship?" Rachel said, frowning.

Quinn's eyebrows rose. "Well—"

"Why would we lie again," Rachel interrupted. "There's a difference between pretending you're not dating and pretending you _are_ dating. I see no benefit to faking a relationship." She looked at Mercedes. "Quinn and I dated in high school and we recently rekindled our relationship. I'm sorry if you do not believe us, but I can assure you it is the truth."

Mercedes looked at Quinn, her mouth open as if she was about to argue.

"Don't look at me," Quinn said with a light laugh. "Rachel's telling the truth."

"Rachel's telling the truth about what?"

The four turned to look at Kurt, who stopped next to Mercedes with a smile. With one look at her face, though, his smile faded and he looked around in confusion.

"What did I just walk into?" Kurt asked, his eyes flitting from one person to the next and back.

"Mercedes doesn't believe that Quinn and I are together," Rachel answered.

Kurt gasped. "You told them without me!"

"I'm sorry, Kurt, but you had your chance," Rachel apologized.

"But I didn't want to make it worse for Finn," Kurt replied.

"I know, but Quinn and I aren't going to hide our relationship anymore," Rachel said.

Kurt sighed. "Fine. I guess I can forgive you."

"Whoa, hold up," Mercedes replied, holding her hand up. "You mean you knew about this?"

"Why don't you take this," Rachel said, patting Kurt's shoulder. "We're going to miss the beginning of the movie."

"But—"

"You're the one who wanted to tell them," Rachel interrupted as she began pulling Quinn toward the theater entrance. "So tell them!"

"I think they're going to miss their movie," Quinn commented with a glance over her shoulder.

"Better them than us," Rachel said, linking her arm with Quinn's.

* * *

"Mom, you remember Rachel."

Judy looked at Rachel and gave her a smile, but there was no warmth in her eyes. "Yes, your friend from New York."

"Yes, my _girlfriend_ from New York," Quinn corrected.

Judy's smile faltered for a moment before she plastered an even bigger—and more fake—smile on. Beside Rachel, Quinn let out a quiet sigh. Rachel reached over and squeezed her hand, hoping to offer her a little reassurance. Judy caught the movement, looked down, and Rachel began to release Quinn's hand, but her girlfriend only tightened her grip.

Rachel knew how hard it was on Quinn that her mother didn't accept her to the point that she was in complete denial about Quinn's life. She hated feeling helpless, wishing there was something she could do, but she knew it was going to be an uphill battle with the elder Fabray. Rachel was there to try, though. Judy had seemed to instantly dislike her, but Rachel was going to do her best to make it hard on Quinn's mom to hate her.

"I should go check on dinner," Judy said before turning on her heel.

"Welcome to the Fabray household," Quinn remarked in a low voice. "I'm going to apologize in advance for anything my mom or my sister say to you."

Rachel gave Quinn a smile. "Maybe we should have invited your mother and sister to my house."

Quinn let out a loud laugh, which made Rachel's smile grow. She could see the tension in Quinn's body all day and the blonde had been grumpier than usual, so it was nice to hear her laugh.

"Why don't we go into the den?" Quinn suggested. "Dinner won't be ready for a while and I'd rather you not spend more time with my mom than you have to."

Rachel shrugged. "I don't mind, Quinn."

"You will," Quinn replied before she began walking, pulling Rachel along with her.

As Quinn began leading her through the house, Rachel glanced around the rooms. She'd only been there twice before, both times when Quinn's parents had gone away for a weekend. Not a lot had changed about it; she noticed all the pictures of Quinn's father were gone and a few pieces of furniture were new, but everything else had remained relatively unchanged. Which was a little surprising to Rachel considering her fathers were constantly rearranging the rooms in their house. It seemed like Mrs. Fabray didn't like change the way the Berry men did, though.

"I was wondering what all the noise was."

"I thought you were lying down," Quinn remarked, stopping in her tracks, and looking at the other blonde in the room.

Rachel needed no introductions to know that the other woman was Frannie Fabray. She had been at their graduation and there were pictures of her scattered around the house. Quinn had never talked about her much, except to say what a bitch she was and how happy she was that she'd moved out of the house to go to college by the time Quinn had turned thirteen.

"Rachel, this is my sister," Quinn said. "Frannie, this is Rachel, my girlfriend."

Rachel suddenly felt like she was being appraised by Quinn's sister, but it was nothing she wasn't used to. She had spent most of high school feeling judged by others, and it was an inevitable part of life given her chosen profession.

"It's nice to meet you," Rachel said, holding her hand out, and giving Frannie her best smile.

"Likewise," Frannie replied, lightly shaking her hand.

"Do you want something to drink?" Quinn asked, nodding toward the bar.

"No, thank you," Rachel replied.

"So, Rachel," Frannie took a seat, crossing one leg over the other, "what is it you do?"

"I'm an actress," Rachel answered.

"Really?" Frannie asked, her eyebrow rising.

"Yes, really," Rachel said, trying to ignore the slight look of disbelief on the other woman's face. "I studied musical theater at the New York

Academy of the Dramatic Arts. My dream has always been to move to New York and be on Broadway. Fortunately, I've been lucky enough to have my dream come true."

"So, you're in a Broadway show right now?" Frannie asked.

"I was until last month," Rachel replied. "I had been performing in a show for over a year, but it closed."

Frannie hummed and averted her eyes from Rachel as she reached for her wine glass. Rachel could tell she wanted to comment and clearly Quinn noticed too, because the younger Fabray looked at Rachel and rolled her eyes.

"Remember that this was your idea when the night is over and you want to break up with me so you never have to see my family again," Quinn mumbled.

Rachel smiled. "I'll remember."

* * *

Rachel sighed as the car pulled to a stop. Neither she nor Quinn had said a word on the way to Rachel's house, and Rachel couldn't help wondering what was going through her girlfriend's mind. She didn't look angry or sad, both of which would have been perfectly acceptable given the evening. Instead, she looked completely passive, and Rachel wondered if she was masking her true feelings or if she was actually okay.

"You can stay the night if you'd like," Rachel said, breaking the silence.

"I would, but I should probably go back," Quinn replied. "It is our last night here."

Rachel nodded. "I—"

"I'm sorry about my mom," Quinn said, interrupting Rachel. She then shook her head and sighed, her shoulders slumping a bit. "And my sister."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Quinn," Rachel replied. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I was the one who wanted to have dinner with them. I'm sorry you had to go through that. And not just tonight. I couldn't imagine growing up with your family. We'll work on them, though. I'm confident they will both eventually come around and learn to not only accept, but to approve of our relationship. Even if it means incredibly uncomfortable dinners every time we come to Lima and every time one of them comes to visit you in New York."

"You're crazy," Quinn said, a small smile appearing on her face.

"I think the word you're looking for is determined," Rachel said, smiling at Quinn. "I know your family isn't ideal, but they're still your family. I know how much it hurts that they don't accept you and I really think that—with time—we can change that."

"And if we can't?" Quinn asked.

"Well, then, I'm glad we have hundreds of miles between us and them," Rachel replied.

Quinn laughed, which made Rachel smile. Ever since they had walked into the den and began talking to Frannie, Quinn had barely been able to contain the scowl on her face, so her smiling and laughing was something Rachel had missed all evening.

"Are you sure I can't talk you into spending the night," Rachel asked.

"I wish," Quinn replied.

"So do I," Rachel said before leaning forward and kissing Quinn. As she pulled back, she put her hand on Quinn's cheek. "I'll see you in the morning?"

Quinn nodded. "Breakfast with your fathers will be so much easier than dinner with my family."

Rachel gave Quinn another, quick kiss. "Goodnight, Quinn."

"Night," Quinn replied.

Rachel exited the car and gave Quinn a wave before turning on her heel and walking into her house. As she closed the front door behind her, she heard her fathers' laughter coming from the living room and Rachel smiled to herself at the sound. She had grown up so differently from Quinn and during the night she repeatedly thought how lucky she was to have been raised by Hiram and Leroy Berry. Her fathers weren't perfect, but she wouldn't trade being their daughter for anything. They had been nothing but supportive throughout her life and she couldn't imagine not having that love and support.

"Honey, is that you?" Hiram called out.

"No, it's the ghost," Rachel joked.

"Well, as long as the ghost helps with the mortgage, he can have our daughter's room," Hiram replied.

Rachel laughed. "And here I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you two. I'm going to have to reevaluate now that you're giving my room away."

"How was dinner?" Leroy asked.

Rachel sighed as she sat down on the couch with them. "Not good. Quinn's mother is still in denial; she kept referring to me as Quinn's friend no matter how many times Quinn corrected her. Any time the subject of our relationship came up, her mom would always find a way to change the subject. Of course, I don't know if she was worse or if Quinn's sister, Frannie, was. She somehow found a way to insult both Quinn and I every chance she got."

"She insulted you?" Leroy asked, frowning.

"She was covert about it, but yes," Rachel replied. "She clearly thinks she is better than both of us and she let it be known." Rachel sighed. "Every time I spend time with Quinn's family, I'm more and more sorry that I tried to push her into coming out while we were in high school. I can understand now why she wouldn't even risk it by letting me tell you guys. She couldn't trust her own parents, so why would she think she could trust mine?"

Hiram put his hand on her knee and gently squeezed it. "Is she still coming for breakfast?"

Rachel nodded. "She wouldn't miss the opportunity to get away from home quicker."

"Good," Hiram replied. "Because I kind of need to give her a hug."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate the sentiment," Rachel said, smiling as she laid her head against his shoulder.


	38. The New Year

**Chapter 38 – The New Year**

Rachel groped around the empty space for a moment before opening her eyes and lifting her head. The space was cold and she wondered how long Quinn had been out of bed.

Since getting back from Lima, she and Quinn hadn't spent a night apart. She had slept at Quinn's once while Quinn had spent the other two nights at her apartment. It hadn't been something they had planned, but when the time came for them to part, they had been reluctant to do so. Truth be told, Rachel was getting so used to falling asleep with Quinn by her side that it felt strange when she had to sleep without her when they were in Lima. She couldn't help wondering if the same thing was happening with Quinn and that's why she had spent the past two nights at Rachel's.

"Quinn?" Rachel said when she finally padded out of the bedroom.

"Kitchen," Quinn called out.

Rachel stretched as she walked toward the sound of Quinn's voice. Quinn was standing in front of the stove, a spatula in her left hand while she drank from the mug in her right.

"That smells amazing," Rachel commented, her stomach growling. "What are you making?"

"Blueberry pancakes," Quinn answered before turning around and setting a mug down in front of Rachel. "And coffee."

Rachel gave her a grateful smile as she sat down at the island. "Thank you."

"I figured you'd need it considering how late we were awake," Quinn said, smirking over her shoulder.

Rachel hummed as she took a drink of the hot liquid. "You're right. But I don't regret a moment of it."

"I would hope not," Quinn remarked.

Rachel smiled to herself and wrapped her hands around the warm mug. "So, what time do you think you'll be done today?"

"I don't know," Quinn said with a sigh. "Hopefully no later than six if I leave here right after breakfast."

"It's too bad you have work to do," Rachel replied. "I was hoping you would change your mind and we could have the whole day to ourselves."

"Which is why I have so much work to do today, if you recall," Quinn said, turning around, and setting a plate of pancakes in front of Rachel. "You're very distracting and I keep putting it off."

Rachel shrugged. "It's not my fault spending time with your girlfriend is more fun than work."

"Well, if I don't get these manuscripts read and start planning this party for work, we both may be out of a job," Quinn replied. "Then we'd have a _lot_ of time together."

Rachel sighed. "I know. It's just that it's New Year's Eve."

"I know," Quinn said, leaning her elbows against the table. "But we'll be spending all night together, and if I get everything done today, we'll have all of tomorrow." Quinn looked down. "Actually, I, um, I wanted you to have this. I thought you could just let yourself in today in case I'm still busy working. And, you know—you can keep it."

Quinn set a key down on the island and slid it over to Rachel, who stared down at it for a moment before registering what Quinn was doing.

"You're giving me a key to your apartment?" Rachel asked, looking up at Quinn.

"Very badly, but yes," Quinn replied. "I mean, we're over at each other's places so much that I thought it would be easier if you had one. That way you won't have to wait in the hall while I'm in the shower like a few weeks ago. And you can lock the door behind you if you ever have to leave before I'm awake."

"You make an excellent point," Rachel said, reaching out for the key. "Maybe—I can give you one to my place as well."

"You really don't have to if you don't want to," Quinn replied. "I didn't do this to make you do it back."

"I know, but I think you're right," Rachel said, shrugging her shoulders. "It would be easier. And we already have a drawer at each other's place. This is the logical next step. I still have Kurt's old key if you would be okay with that one. Otherwise, I can have one made sometime next week if you would prefer a brand new one."

"Kurt's key is fine," Quinn replied with a smile.

Rachel smiled back and then picked up her fork and began cutting into the pancakes. "Feeding me delicious food, caring for me when I'm sick, romantic gestures—you're really going for girlfriend of the year, aren't you?"

Quinn laughed loudly. "Why? Is it working?"

"I'll let you know after midnight, when the year is officially over," Rachel said, smiling at her.

* * *

"You look tired," Rachel observed as she rested her hand on Quinn's. "Are you going to be able to make it until midnight?"

"I hope so," Quinn replied.

"You know, we don't have to go to Stephanie's party if you're not feeling up to it," Rachel said. "We can always go to my place after we leave the theater and have a nice, quiet evening just the two of us."

"I'll be fine," Quinn replied, shaking her head.

Rachel nodded. "If you're sure."

She wasn't going to push Quinn to go to the party, but she also wasn't going to not go if Quinn said she was fine with it. It was the first New Year's they would be spending together, and to be able to kiss Quinn at midnight while they were surrounded by people seemed to make it all that much better.

In high school, they hadn't been able to spend New Year's Eve together. Rachel's fathers had thrown a party and she couldn't exactly explain why she would rather be elsewhere. It was one of her biggest disappointments while they were dating, but there had been nothing she could do about it. Quinn had been unwilling to come to the party and she couldn't exactly sneak out. So, they had been apart when the ball dropped rather than getting to spend it together. This year, though, she was finally going to get to kiss Quinn at midnight, and Rachel couldn't be happier.

"We can leave right after, though, right?" Quinn asked after a few moments.

Rachel gave a light laugh and squeezed Quinn's hand. "We can if that's what you'd like. I'm sure Stephanie would prefer it anyway; I know I hate when people linger too long when they come over for a party." Rachel hit the button on her phone to see the time. "Ten 'til seven; it should be starting soon."

"Good," Quinn replied. "It'll probably wake me up. Unless it's terrible, and then you can just let me sleep."

Rachel smiled. "I will, but if you start snoring, I'll nudge you."

Quinn scoffed. "I do not snore."

"That you know of," Rachel teased.

Quinn narrowed her eyes, which only made Rachel laugh.

"You know, once upon a time, that may have scared me," Rachel said.

Quinn smiled and nudged her shoulder into Rachel's. "It's too bad it still doesn't."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

Quinn laughed, shaking her head. "No. The last thing I want is for you to be afraid of me. Even after we were together the first time, I could see fear in your eyes whenever I was angry, and I always hated it. I mean, I got it. With our history and how horrible I was to you before we started dating, I understood why you'd be afraid, but it hurt."

"It was usually less about being afraid of you and more about being afraid of you breaking up with me," Rachel replied.

"I never would've broken up with you, Rachel," Quinn said. "Not unless—"

"Someone found out about us?" Rachel said.

Quinn nodded. "You were the best thing about my life. You still are. The only way I would have ended things is if I really didn't have a choice. And if someone had found out, then everyone would know, and I never would have had a choice once my parents knew."

"Have you talked to your mom since getting back?" Rachel wondered.

"No, and I don't really expect to anytime soon," Quinn said, sighing. "She didn't seem very happy with me after that dinner. She's probably mad at me for 'flaunting' our relationship, but I don't care."

"I find it hard to believe your father is even worse," Rachel said, shaking her head. "I couldn't even imagine having to live with your mom, so the thought of your father being even worse than your mother is a little crazy to me."

"Well, believe it," Quinn replied. "Hopefully you never have to meet him to see for yourself."

"You'll certainly be getting the better deal when it comes to in-laws," Rachel said.

Rachel froze at the words that left her mouth, and she noticed Quinn do the same. A smile slowly appeared on Quinn's face, though, while Rachel felt like a deer in the headlights. She hadn't really thought about what she was saying, and now that it was out there, she couldn't really take it back.

"At least it would be easy to decide who we were spending the holidays with," Quinn said after a few moments, shrugging her shoulder. "I'm sure your fathers would be thrilled."

"They do love to entertain," Rachel agreed.

Rachel glanced at Quinn; even though it was early in their relationship to be talking about things like marriage, her girlfriend seemed completely unphased by the slip. Quite the opposite, actually; Quinn still had a soft smile on her face as the theater lights began to dim.

* * *

"You came!"

Rachel laughed lightly as Stephanie hugged her. "We told you we would be."

When Stephanie pulled away, she looked over at Quinn and nodded, smiling. "Hi, Quinn."

"Hey," Quinn replied.

"How was the show?" Stephanie asked.

"Terrible," Quinn replied.

"It was—okay, it was terrible," Rachel agreed. "The music was bad, the book was nonsensical, and the performances left a lot to be desired." Rachel sighed. "I don't think it's going to move Off-Broadway anytime soon unless they change everything about the show."

"Sounds like a terrible night," Stephanie commented.

"It was until intermission," Rachel replied. "Quinn and I decided to leave then, and we found this little place with the most amazing pizza."

"Hey, you made it!" Nick said, coming up to the group.

"Why does everyone sound so surprised?" Rachel asked.

"Probably because we all thought you and Quinn would end up spending it alone, if you know what I mean," Stephanie said, nudging Rachel with her elbow.

"Why on Earth would you think that?" Rachel asked, ignoring the fact that she did ask Quinn if she'd like to not go to the party and spend it just the two of them.

"Because by the end of karaoke, it was obvious you two couldn't wait to get home," Nick answered.

Rachel felt her cheeks redden, and she glanced at Quinn, who had a slight smirk on her face, looking completely unembarrassed about it. Rachel thought she'd managed to be discreet that night, but she'd apparently failed at it. It wasn't like they'd left _that_ early, though. It was true that they had been the first ones to leave, but they'd all been there for hours. And Rachel had only left when she did because Quinn had whispered something into her ear about not being able to wait until she got her alone.

"They're not even denying it," Stephanie teased.

"Well, if you were dating someone as gorgeous as Quinn, you'd want some alone time with them, too," Rachel teased back.

Stephanie nodded as she gave a light shrug. "She is pretty gorgeous."

"Okay, can we change the subject now?" Quinn asked.

"Come with me," Nick said. "I can show you where the alcohol is, so you don't have to get through this sober."

"You have a good turnout," Rachel commented, but her eyes were following Quinn and she walked across the room behind Nick.

"Free food and free booze? How can anyone resist?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel laughed. "I suppose you're right about that."

"Any chance I can get you to help me in the kitchen for a minute?" Stephanie asked. "You can tell me all about Ohio."

"Of course," Rachel replied. "It's the least I can do for free food and free booze."

Stephanie laughed and asked, "Is it really free if you're having to work for it?"

"Okay, so, discounted food and booze?" Rachel said as she began follow Stephanie to the kitchen, where her boyfriend, Matt, was walking out of with an arm full of soda.

"The vegetable tray is getting low," Matt said, looking over at Stephanie.

"Rachel and I are going to work on that right now," Stephanie replied, kissing his cheek.

"She's managed to wrangle you into helping, has she?" Matt asked as the two women entered the kitchen.

"I'm more than happy to lend my services," Rachel replied over her shoulder.

"Okay, now that we're alone, I want to hear about Ohio," Stephanie said, grabbing two knives from the block on the counter, and handing one to Rachel.

"Surprisingly, nothing overly exciting happened," Rachel replied. "We did run into Finn at the movies, but he didn't actually say anything to either of us. Of course, he was with his friend and we were in public, so he may have just not wanted to make a scene. My fathers were great; Quinn came over for dinner one night and we had breakfast the morning we left, and they were completely welcoming. I guess the biggest thing that happened was having dinner with Quinn's mother and sister, who were slightly less welcoming. Oh, and we ran into two of our old classmates and former Glee Club members who just happen to be the biggest gossips in school other than Kurt, so I'm fairly certain everyone we graduated with now knows of our relationship. More people have tried contacting Quinn about it than me, though. I guess she comes as more of a shock."

"What does?"

Rachel looked over at Quinn and smiled. "You not only being gay, but dating me. I was just telling her about being in Lima and Tina and Mercedes finding out."

Quinn hummed and leaned against the counter, next to Rachel. "I don't know why it's that shocking. I may have dated several guys in high school, but can anyone honestly say I seemed very interested in them?"

"People are usually clueless until you smack them in the face with it," Stephanie said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I guess that's a good thing or someone may have figured it out back then," Rachel replied. "I'm afraid I wasn't always the most subtle with my feelings when I was in the same room with Quinn."

"Sadly, I probably wasn't either," Quinn said. "And I'm definitely not now."

"Ugh, you two are disgustingly in love," Stephanie said, throwing a piece of carrot at Rachel.

* * *

"Why did I think throwing this party would be a good idea?" Stephanie asked, sighing as she picked up some trash from her end table.

"Because you like entertaining friends?" Rachel questioned.

"My friends are slobs," Stephanie replied, dropping the garbage bag she was holding onto the floor, and sitting down on the arm of the couch. "Thank god for people like you two. You actually know how to pick up after yourselves."

"Well, doing anything else is just rude," Rachel said.

"You would think a bunch of people in the medical field would be a little cleaner," Stephanie said, nodding toward of group of her boyfriend's friends. "It makes me worry about ever having to go to their hospital."

Rachel laughed. "Well, if you need any help cleaning up, just ask."

"I'll keep that in mind," Stephanie said before leaning forward to look at Quinn. "Are you going to make it?"

"Maybe," Quinn replied.

"I'll make sure she's awake at midnight," Rachel said, patting Quinn's leg. "Which isn't long from now, is it?"

"Nope," Stephanie replied.

"So this is where all the cool kids are," Matt said, walking over to the group.

"That would be a first," Rachel replied.

"What would be?" Stephanie asked.

"Me being one of the cool kids," Rachel replied. "I don't think that word has ever been used to describe me."

"That's because people are stupid." Quinn commented.

"Hear, hear," Matt said, raising his bottle of beer.

"You realize you're one of the people who thought I was far from cool, right?" Rachel said with a soft smile as she nudged Quinn's shoulder with hers.

"That's because I was an idiot," Quinn replied. "And I also thought popularity was everything. Again, I was an idiot."

"Let me guess—you were a cheerleader," Matt said.

"Quinn was head cheerleader," Rachel replied. "She was the most popular girl in school; all the guys wanted to date her and all the girls wanted to be her." Rachel grinned. "Well, some of us girls wanted to date her, too."

"And you got her," Stephanie said.

"Imagine that," Rachel said, slipping her hand under Quinn's.

"I dated a cheerleader once," Matt said, narrowing his eyes slightly as if he was lost in thought. "She dumped me a week later for one of the guys on the football team."

"I kissed a cheerleader once," Stephanie said, shrugging her shoulders.

"There were male cheerleaders at your high school?" Matt asked.

Stephanie smiled. "I didn't say that."

Rachel laughed as Stephanie smiled at her boyfriend, who looked surprised but shrugged a moment later.

"It was done on a dare, but I didn't hate it," Stephanie added.

"I learn something new about you every day," Matt said, leaning down, and kissing Stephanie's cheek.

"What time is it?" Stephanie asked, grabbing Matt's arm, and looking at his watch. "It's almost midnight! We need to turn the TV on."

"I've got it," Matt replied.

"I'll get the champagne," Stephanie said, standing up from the couch.

Rachel shook her head, a smile on her face as she said, "I predict they'll be engaged before the end of next year."

"Yeah?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. I think they're perfect for each other."

Quinn hummed before standing up, pulling Rachel along with her. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Out there," Quinn said, nodding toward the balcony.

"But it's snowing," Rachel replied.

"I know," Quinn said, looking over her shoulder, and smiling at Rachel.

Rachel opened her mouth to protest but closed it a moment later. She could hear the countdown coming from the television and knew they only had a little under a minute to go. And if Quinn wanted to be outside in the snow to kiss at midnight then she wasn't going to fight it.

"Do you remember the first time we kissed in the snow?" Quinn asked.

Rachel laughed and ducked her head. "How could I forget? It was the first time we kissed after you showed up at my house and told me you dumped Finn."

"Is there anything you don't remember?" Quinn asked with a soft smile.

Rachel shook her head. "I remember everything about us back then. For better or worse."

"Three, two, one!"

Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist, pulling their bodies flush against one another. Rachel could hear the cheers of 'happy New Year' coming from inside the apartment, but all sound began to fade away as Quinn's lips moved against hers. The kiss wasn't even particularly heated or deep—it was actually quite slow and soft—but it felt like a promise. They had made it through the holidays together, braving their family and friends and their hometown, and Rachel felt like the kiss was a promise to do it all again the next year.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked, looking down at Rachel as they continued walking down the sidewalk.

"Of course," Rachel replied, turning to look at her girlfriend. "I'm more than okay, actually."

"You've just been really quiet," Quinn noted.

Rachel smiled and squeezed Quinn's arm. "Sorry. I've just been thinking."

"About what?" Quinn asked.

"Nothing important," Rachel replied. "Just—how different things are for me. A year ago, I was with Finn and performing in a musical I loved. I had the support of friends and my fathers and I thought I was happy. I convinced myself that I would never be any happier than that."

Quinn nodded and after a few moments asked, "And now?"

"Now, I realize I was wrong," Rachel said. "My engagement ended and I'm unemployed, yet I'm happier than I was. And I know I am because I no longer have to convince myself that I'm happy. I just am." Rachel let out a light laugh. "Actually, sometimes I try to convince myself that I'm not nearly as happy as I feel I am because it's a little terrifying. I know how quickly things can change, and what if this changes?"

"That's not going to happen," Quinn replied.

"You can't promise that," Rachel said.

"I can promise I'm not going anywhere," Quinn said, stopping, and looking at Rachel.

Rachel wanted to believe Quinn, but it was still hard. She always had so many 'what ifs' in her head that it was hard to just let herself relax and enjoy everything. She knew what it was like to lose Quinn; it had happened once and she didn't know what she would do if it happened again. Because she was fairly certain it would be even worse the second time around, and the first time had nearly destroyed her.

"I love you," Quinn added. "I hope you believe that."

"I do," Rachel replied.

Quinn nodded as she reached out for Rachel's hand. "Then believe I'm not going anywhere. Not unless it's completely out of my control. And I don't plan on being abducted by aliens or being incarcerated or dying anytime soon."

Rachel laughed lightly and shook her head. "Aliens, huh? Do you think about that a lot?"

"I may have watched a documentary when I was in Lima," Quinn said, giving her a wry smile.

"It wasn't that one you made me watch back in high school, was it?" Rachel asked as they began walking again. "Because I had nightmares for a week about little green men coming for me."

"This was a newer one," Quinn replied. "I can show you it if you'd like."

"Very funny," Rachel said, pursing her lips.

"Just thought I'd check," Quinn replied, nudging her with a smile.

"I don't need to have any more nightmares," Rachel said, shaking her head.

"At least this time I would be there next to you," Quinn commented. "You know, as long as you keep letting me stay over."

Rachel hummed and tried to hide her smile. "Yes, I should really stop that sometime soon."

"I agree," Quinn replied. "It's a terrible habit to get into. I'm staying over tonight, though, right?"

Rachel laughed. "Definitely."

Rachel looked down, smiling to herself as she and Quinn passed by a man walking a puppy.

"Okay, that is quite possibly the cutest animal I've ever seen," Rachel remarked, looking over her shoulder as the man walked in the opposite direction. "I want one."

"Why don't you get one?" Quinn asked.

Rachel sighed. "My landlord has a policy about no animals. Kurt and I wanted to get a cat when he moved in, but our landlord wouldn't budge. Kurt wanted to sneak one in, but I was afraid we'd get kicked out or we would eventually be found out and have to give it up, so I refused."

"You could always get one and keep it at my place," Quinn said.

"What?" Rachel replied in surprise, stopping in her tracks.

"You're over at my place half the time anyway," Quinn said with a nonchalant shrug. "I wouldn't be opposed to us having a dog or cat together."

"I know, but—" Rachel closed her mouth and shook her head.

It was one thing for Quinn to tell her she loved her and she wasn't going anywhere, but it was things like this that made her truly believe that Quinn was in it for good.

"I hope you don't think I'm trying to pressure you," Quinn added. "I'm just saying—think about it."

"I will," Rachel said, a soft smile slowly forming on her face.

* * *

**Three chapters to go.**


	39. The Getaway

**Chapter 39 – The Getaway**

"You know, I could enjoy the scenery a lot more if you would simply tell me where you are driving us."

Quinn looked over at Rachel and rolled her eyes. "Nice try."

"Fine," Rachel said, crossing her arms with a sigh. "I just hope I've packed the appropriate clothing since you refuse to tell me where we are headed." Rachel looked over. "You could at least tell me how long we are going to be away. What if some producer calls me, wanting me to audition?"

"Then we'll go back home," Quinn replied.

"You're really not going to tell me?" Rachel asked.

"I haven't for the past two hours, so why would I now?" Quinn asked back.

"Because you know the secrecy is driving me crazy?" Rachel replied.

"You'll see when we get there," Quinn said.

"That's what you keep saying," Rachel replied.

"And it's still true," Quinn said.

"Can I at least have a hint?" Rachel asked.

Quinn laughed as she put on her signal, turning down a smaller road. "It's your birthday present."

"My birthday present?" Rachel asked. "But my birthday was weeks ago."

"I know," Quinn replied. "You had the flu, though, so I postponed it. But then we went to Lima and I had so much to do at work, so this is the first chance I've had to finally give you your present."

"You really didn't need to do anything," Rachel said, shaking her head. "Taking care of me when I was ill was gift enough."

"I think I can do a little better than that," Quinn replied.

Rachel opened her mouth but closed it a few moments later. She didn't really know what to say; she wasn't used to people doing anything special for her birthday. The year before, her cast mates did throw a surprise party for her, but other than that, her birthday was usually a subdued affair. Since it fell so close to the holidays, it was hard to get many people over for a party, and Finn was never the best at getting gifts. He always tried, though, which she had appreciated.

"We're here," Quinn said.

"What?" Rachel asked, too busy looking at Quinn to notice the car had stopped.

When she looked out the window, she let out a light gasp. They were parked at a beautiful cabin that set on the edge of a partially frozen lake. Everything was covered in a light snow, and Rachel couldn't help feeling like she was staring at a painting rather than something out of real life.

"Are we staying here?" Rachel asked.

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Quinn nod. "Until Monday morning."

"Quinn, this is amazing," Rachel said, finally tearing her eyes away from the cabin to look at Quinn. "Thank you."

"Come on," Quinn said, nodding toward the door with a soft smile.

Rachel quickly got out of the car, eager to see what the inside of the cabin looked like. She had stayed the weekend at a cabin once before with her fathers, and it had always been one of her favorite memories. This, though—this cabin looked even nicer than the one she had stayed in back then, and as much as she'd enjoyed spending time with her fathers, she knew it would be even better to be there with Quinn.

"It's so peaceful," Rachel commented when she stepped out and could hear nothing but the light rustling of the trees. "How did you find this place?"

"One of my bosses owns it," Quinn answered. "She saw me looking at cabins and offered to let us stay here. They usually only come here in the summer."

"Wow," Rachel said. "You'll have to be sure to send her my thanks. That was very kind of her."

"Here," Quinn said, pulling a set of keys out of her pocket, and holding them out for Rachel. "I'll get the bags."

"Nonsense," Rachel replied, walking around to the trunk. "I'm not going to make you carry both of our bags."

"And here I thought you would milk this birthday present for all it's worth," Quinn said with a grin.

"Hmm, you're right," Rachel replied, keeping a serious expression on her face. "I really should. It would be nice to have servant for the week."

"Your wish is my command," Quinn husked as she leaned over and placed a kiss on Rachel's cheek.

Rachel laughed and rested her hands against Quinn's shoulders. "While I appreciate that you're willing, you really don't need to. It's amazing enough that you brought me here. Thank you, Quinn; all of this is really sweet of you."

"I just thought it would be nice to get away for the weekend," Quinn replied. "Just the two of us."

"It certainly is," Rachel agreed with a smile.

* * *

"I still can't believe this is the guest room," Rachel said, sitting down on the edge of the king size bed. "I can only imagine what the master bedroom must look like."

The guest room was nearly an entire apartment on its own. Rachel had actually seen apartments in the city that were smaller than it. Not only did the guest room have an enormous bed, but it also had its own sitting area, a nook with several bookcases, a large bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub, and even a little kitchenette.

"You could sneak into the master bedroom," Quinn said, lying back on the bed, and turning her head to look at Rachel.

"As tempting as that is, I will respect your boss's wished," Rachel replied.

They had free reign of the house, but they had been asked to stay out of the master bedroom. Rachel had no problem with that—it wasn't their house, after all, and the owners had been gracious enough to let them stay there for free—so she wasn't about to betray their trust even if she was curious. Plus, the owner was one of Quinn's bosses, and it didn't seem smart to risk her job simply because Rachel wanted to see the room.

"It's beginning to snow again," Rachel said, seeing the flurries as she glanced out the window.

"I'm glad it stopped for the drive up," Quinn replied.

"Me too," Rachel said. "I've always hated driving in the snow. It's pretty, but it's always made me nervous. The only car accident I've ever been in was when it was snowing. Daddy was driving and we slid into the back of another car. Thankfully, no one was injured, but it still terrified me. For a while, I refused to get into a car if it was snowing even a little bit. I was a very dramatic child."

Quinn laughed, though it was more of a snort than a laugh. "I can't possibly imagine you being dramatic."

"Very funny," Rachel replied. "I'll have you know, some people like that about my personality."

"I never said I wasn't one of those people," Quinn said, reaching over, and wrapping her hand around Rachel's. "In case you haven't noticed, I pretty much like everything about you."

"I find that hard to believe," Rachel replied, leaning down so she was hovering over Quinn.

"Well, you shouldn't," Quinn said before leaning up and giving Rachel a quick kiss.

Rachel smiled and sat up, glancing over her shoulder, her eyes falling on the fireplace. "Do you know if there's any wood for the fire?" She asked, looking back down at Quinn. "You know, since you said they only come up here in the summer. We're not going to have to chop down our own tree, are we?"

Quinn let out a light laugh. "Bridgette said it's in the shed. She said they occasionally let friends stay, so they always keep it stocked."

"Good," Rachel replied. "I have many talents, but upper-body strength is not one of them."

"Too bad," Quinn said. "I would kind of like to see you chop down a tree."

"That's funny," Rachel replied. "I was just thinking the same thing. I think you would like cute in jeans and a plaid shirt. And maybe those work boots and one of those hats with the ear flaps." Quinn looked over at her and raised her eyebrow. "Okay, maybe you could skip the hat, but the rest still stands."

"I'll keep that in mind," Quinn said, giving her a wry smile.

"Maybe next Halloween," Rachel joked.

"Come on," Quinn said, sitting up. "Let's go fix some lunch and then I'll go out and bring some firewood in."

"Can I convince you to wear plaid while doing it?" Rachel asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide her grin.

"Maybe if you play your cards right," Quinn replied.

Rachel smiled and then asked, "So, are we going somewhere for lunch?"

"Not unless you want to. Bridgette called someone to stock the fridge before we got here, so there should be food in the kitchen," Quinn replied.

"Wow," Rachel said. "It seems as if they've thought of everything."

"Yeah, so we get to do nothing but relax all weekend," Quinn commented.

"I think I may be able to do that," Rachel replied, smiling.

* * *

"This is amazing," Rachel said before she took another bite of the dessert she was sharing with Quinn, a brownie with a scoop of ice cream that was covered in chocolate and caramel. "Really amazing."

Quinn laughed as the last two words came out mumbled behind a mouth full of brownie and ice cream. Rachel didn't care, though; if the rest of the dinner had been a disaster, the dessert would have more than made up for it. Luckily, all the food had been great, which was a little surprising since the restaurant didn't look like much from the outside. Regardless, they'd decided to get out and try it after spending all their time so far at the cabin.

"Is there anything you want to do after we leave here?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shrugged. "I was thinking maybe we could take a walk around the town if you're up for it." She grabbed another spoonful of the dessert as she glanced over at Quinn. "We don't have to, but I thought it could be fun. If you want to go back to the cabin, though, that's fine as well."

"We can take a walk," Quinn replied, smiling.

"Great," Rachel said. "Maybe I can walk off some of this brownie."

"I think you'd have to walk for a half a day to walk off _this_ brownie," Quinn joked.

Rachel laughed. "Probably, but it's more than worth it."

They shared the rest of the brownie and then, after some debate, Quinn finally won out and paid for dinner. Rachel had insisted on paying since Quinn had been so amazing by bringing them there in the first place, but Quinn refused to listen. It was hard to be too annoyed, though; not even when Quinn raised her eyebrow and gave Rachel a triumphant smirk.

After leaving the restaurant, the two began strolling down the street. The sidewalks were lined with old-fashioned street lights and the moon was shining brightly above them in the cloudless sky. Several inches of snow was still covering the ground, though some of it had melted in the afternoon sun.

"I'm glad we decided to come out tonight," Rachel said, looping her arm through Quinn's.

"Me too," Quinn replied.

"This town is so quaint," Rachel said. "I feel like we're in one of those Hallmark movies."

Quinn laughed. "Except they never have same-sex couples in those things. And they're so cheesy."

"I know, but sometimes it's nice to watch a cheesy movie and not worry about anything for a few hours," Rachel remarked.

"Let me guess, you and Kurt used to watch them?" Quinn replied.

Rachel smiled. "Maybe."

Quinn shook her head. "Why am I not surprised? I can just imagine you and Kurt crying over those sappy Christmas movies they always show."

"I won't deny that may have happened on occasion," Rachel admitted. "Okay, so it happened every Christmas. It was sort of a tradition of ours. Once we were both in the city and had a few days alone after the craziness that is the holidays, we would always marathon them. It was our way of de-stressing after the holidays."

"My friends and I would do something like that," Quinn replied. "Except it would involve pizza, ice cream, and wine."

"Our marathons would also usually include those three things. Or at least it did once we were old enough to purchase the latter." Rachel smiled. "And maybe once before."

Rachel moved her hand down to Quinn's and squeezed it before letting go completely. She paused for a moment, glancing at the short wall they were walking past, while Quinn continued on. Smiling to herself, she grabbed a handful of snow and quickly shaped it into a ball, tossing it at the back of Quinn's head. Unfortunately, Rachel had terrible aim and the snowball mostly flew past Quinn, barely clipping her shoulder.

The moment it grazed her, Quinn froze and turned around with a surprised look on her face. Rachel tried to give Quinn her best innocent smile, but she could tell her girlfriend wasn't falling for it. Slowly, Quinn walked the few steps to the wall and began gathering the snow into a ball of her own.

"Quinn—" Rachel said, trailing off when Quinn looked over at her with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Don't you do it!"

"Who is the one who started it?" Quinn asked, slowly turning the snowball over in her hands as she packed it tighter.

"Okay, I did, but—remember that I'm your girlfriend and you love me," Rachel tried.

Quinn smirked and Rachel knew nothing she said was going to spare her. So, she did the only thing she could think of and began sprinting across the street. As she began running down the sidewalk, she could hear Quinn's laughter behind her and knew she was about to catch up to her. Sure enough, a few moments later, the snowball hit her shoulder, exploding on contact. Rachel gasped as some of the pieces flew into her coat and down her shirt.

"I'm sorry!" Rachel shrieked as she tried to knock some of the snow out of her shirt. "You win!"

"You may want to practice your throwing skills before you try that again," Quinn said, walking toward Rachel, and wrapping her arms around the brunette's waist.

Rachel couldn't help laughing as Quinn smiled down at her. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment and let out a deep sigh as she listened to the crackling fire. When she opened her eyes again, Quinn was staring at her with a contented look on her face.

"What are you thinking?" Quinn asked, propping her head up, and looking down at Rachel.

"That we should really do this more often," Rachel answered, smiling softly.

"Which part?" Quinn asked, reaching out, and lightly touching Rachel's jaw.

"All of it," Rachel replied. "Being here has been wonderful. As much as I love living in the city and couldn't imagine being anywhere else, sometimes it's nice to get away to some place a little more quiet and relaxed. And the fireplace is certainly a bonus."

Quinn looked down at their barely covered bodies and then looked back at Rachel, quirking her eyebrow. "And this?"

"Wonderful as well, and we should also do it more often," Rachel replied. "As often as possible."

Rachel's smile grew and she reached up, putting her hand over Quinn's. After a moment, she entwined their fingers together and brought Quinn's hand to her lips, placing a kiss on it.

"What about you?" Rachel softly asked. "What are you thinking about?"

"How lucky I am," Quinn answered. "To get a second chance. To get to be here with you. I was afraid you would hate me for the rest of your life. That you'd never forgive me and you would never even talk to me again." Quinn brushed her thumb against the back of Rachel's hand. "But here we are even after everything."

"The last year was certainly unexpected," Rachel replied. "I never thought anything like this would happen. Not again. As much as I've always believed in second chances, I didn't think we would ever get one. So, I guess we're both lucky. Even if my life sort of fell apart this year, I don't think I would change it for anything."

"Good," Quinn said. "Because I love you and want to spend my life with you, and it would be kind of terrible if you wished things had turned out differently."

"I—"

Rachel hesitated. Every time Quinn said those words, she came so close to saying them back. At first, she didn't want to believe that she could be in love with Quinn. Not after everything that had happened. Not after being with Finn for so long and even being engaged to him. At least not so quickly after splitting from Finn and getting together with Quinn.

Now, though—now she knew she loved Quinn, and maybe she had never stopped. She just couldn't seem to get the words out even though it had been on the tip of her tongue a hundred times in the past few weeks. But she knew if she said it then all of this would seem that much more real. Because right now, she still had a hard time believing it sometimes. She was with Quinn; she loved Quinn. She was envisioning a future with this person who already broke her heart once before, and she didn't know what she would do if it happened again.

"It's okay," Quinn whispered.

"It's not—I just—" Rachel sighed and then paused for a few moments. "I'm happy now. I'm not angry anymore and I don't resent you anymore for what happened in high school. I actually think I'm happier than I've ever been. _You_ make me happier than I've ever been. I just don't want you to think that me not being able to say it is a sign that I'm not happy with this. Because I am."

"It's fine," Quinn replied.

"Is it?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Quinn said, running her hand down Rachel's arm.

"Really? Because I feel like there's something wrong with me sometimes," Rachel replied.

Quinn shook her head. "There's nothing wrong with you, Rach. It's okay if you're not ready. And it's okay if you are ready but still can't say it."

"So, you're not going to go anywhere even if I'm emotionally inept right now?" Rachel replied, giving Quinn a small smile.

"Mmm," Quinn laid back on the floor and glanced over at Rachel, "maybe you're right."

"Very funny," Rachel said, moving over, so she could rest her head on Quinn's shoulder. "You are joking, right?"

Quinn laughed. "Yes. Of course. I told you before, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Rachel replied. "I'm going to hold you to that."

"Feel free," Quinn said, leaning down, and pulling Rachel into a kiss.

* * *

"Here," Rachel said, holding a mug in front of Quinn's face. "It's so you don't freeze to death out here."

"Hot cocoa?" Quinn asked, smiling.

"I thought it seemed appropriate," Rachel replied as she walked around the porch swing. "You can't watch it snow without cocoa."

Rachel sat down next to Quinn, who lifted up the blanket that had been sitting on her lap and tossed it over both of them. As she brought her own mug of hot cocoa up to her lips, Rachel glanced over at Quinn. Her girlfriend had been sitting out on the back porch for a while, watching the snow falling, and Rachel had been watching her from the house. She couldn't help wondering if everything was alright with Quinn; she'd been so quiet most of the morning.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked after several minutes of sitting next to Quinn in silence.

Quinn hummed and looked over at Rachel before giving a quiet, "Yeah."

"You just—you've looked kind of sad today," Rachel said.

"It's nothing," Quinn said.

"Quinn—"

"Don't worry about it," Quinn interrupted.

"Of course I'm going to worry about it," Rachel said, putting her head on Quinn's shoulder. "It's kind of my job as your girlfriend to be concerned if you're sad. Especially if I'm the cause of it."

"You're not," Quinn replied, kissing the top of Rachel's head. "Honestly, I don't know what's causing it, but it's not you."

"Maybe it's because we're leaving tomorrow morning," Rachel suggested.

"Maybe," Quinn said, taking a sip.

They fell silent again, both watching the snow as it slowly fell to the ground. It had been snowing off and on since the night before, covering the ground in a several fresh inches of snow, and it made Rachel not want to leave all the more. She couldn't remember the last time she had been some place so peaceful. Even though she hadn't realized it, coming there was exactly what she'd needed. To get away from the hustle and bustle of New York City. To spend a quiet weekend with Quinn, just the two of them.

"Thank you again for bringing me here," Rachel said, lifting her head off Quinn's shoulder so she could look at her. "I think this is the best birthday present I've ever received."

"That's not good," Quinn said. "How will I ever top it?"

Rachel smiled. "You don't need to feel as if you have to top it."

"I'll remind you of that next year when you're complaining," Quinn said, nudging Rachel.

"I would never complain about that and you know it," Rachel replied.

"Mmm, maybe," Quinn said, running her hand through her hair. "So, I-I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Should I be worried?" Rachel asked, noting the seriousness in Quinn's voice.

"No," Quinn quickly replied. "It's nothing bad. It's just—my lease is up at the end of February."

"Oh?" Rachel replied, furrowing her brows slightly.

"Yeah," Quinn said, trailing off.

Rachel suddenly sat upright and looked over at her girlfriend. "Quinn, is there a reason you've decided to tell me this?"

Quinn cleared her throat and looked around before her eyes finally landed on Rachel. "I was wondering if you would maybe want to move in together. Into your apartment or my apartment or an entirely different one. I mean, we're practically living together already. We're lucky if we spend a night or two alone each a week." Quinn shrugged. "I just want you to think about it. You don't have to give me an answer right now."

"I—okay," Rachel replied.

"Okay you'll think about it?" Quinn asked.

"I'll think about it," Rachel said with a nod.

Part of Rachel just wanted to say yes, but the other part of her was worried that it was too much, too soon. It was true that they practically lived together already. In fact, Rachel couldn't remember the last night they actually spent apart, but at least she had the option to. Not that she really _wanted_ to spend the night away from Quinn, but at least she knew she could.

"I'm sorry," Rachel added after a few moments.

"For what?" Quinn asked.

"That I want to think about it," Rachel replied.

Quinn shook her head. "You don't have to be sorry, Rachel."

"I wish I could just say yes," Rachel said. "I wish I didn't worry so much about everything."

"Well, technically we've only been dating for a few months, so I'm the one moving a bit fast," Quinn replied.

"I don't think the traditional timetables apply to us," Rachel said. "We may have only been dating for a few months, but we've been together a lot longer than that." She reached over and entwined her fingers with Quinn's. "So, hypothetically, if I did say yes, would you rather live at your apartment, mine, or look for a new one? Because I'm pretty sure I could get out of my lease if I wished to."

"Hypothetically? I think it would be kind of nice to get a new place that's _ours_," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded and then smiled at Quinn. "Well, as I said—I'll think about it."

* * *

**Only two chapters left. Hopefully the next one won't take nearly as long to post, but my writer's block has not been kind to me.**


	40. We've Come So Far

**Chapter 40 – We've Come So Far**

"You don't call, you don't write—"

Rachel laughed as she laid back on the couch. "Hello, Kurt."

"Have you forgotten about your best friend?" Kurt asked. "Admit that you're just too busy for me now that you have the perfect girlfriend."

"That's an embellishment and you know it," Rachel replied, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"Which part?" Kurt asked. "That you've forgotten about me, that you're too busy for your best friend, or that Quinn is the perfect girlfriend."

"All of it," Rachel replied. "Although, Quinn has been pretty perfect lately."

"So it's safe to assume that things are still going well for you two?" Kurt asked.

"Yes, things are going very well," Rachel replied.

"So, have you given any more thought to her big question?" Kurt asked.

"If you're asking whether or not I've decided if we should move in together then no, I haven't," Rachel answered. "But yes, I have given it some more thought. I just—I still don't know. I want to say yes, but I'm so worried we would be moving too fast. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize this relationship, and moving in together would be a huge step. And what if it's the wrong step? What if we're not ready for it yet?" Rachel sighed. "I'm overthinking this, aren't I?"

"No," Kurt replied. "You're right; it is a big step. And maybe things would go terribly wrong if you and Quinn moved in together, but maybe they wouldn't. There's only one way you're going to know."

"By potentially ruining both of our lives?" Rachel asked.

"And you've had the nerve to call me overly dramatic in the past," Kurt commented.

Rachel shook her head. They both had a flair for the dramatics and neither of them could deny that; it was one of the reasons they got along so well. For once, though, Rachel didn't think she was being unnecessarily dramatic. She had no doubt that moving in with Quinn before they were ready could lead to disaster. Things were going so well between them and the last thing she wanted was to ruin that.

"Enough about me," Rachel said after a few moments. "How are you doing? How is Caleb? You're still seeing him, right?"

"Of course," Kurt replied. "Unlike some people, I wouldn't go through a heartbreak like that without calling my best friend."

"So, how is everything?" Rachel asked, ignoring the jab.

"Things are perfect," Kurt replied. "For the first time in my life, I have no complaints about the man I am dating. He's everything I've been looking for."

Rachel smiled. "So it looks like you finally found Mr. Right."

"Yeah," Kurt said with a sigh.

"So why don't you sound happy about it?" Rachel asked.

"I am happy," Kurt replied. "Happier than I think I've ever been."

"But?" Rachel asked.

"But—okay, now I'm going to sound like you." Kurt let out another sigh and Rachel could hear him shifting around. "I'm worried, okay? While I'm over Blaine and what he did, I still vividly remember what it was like when he broke my heart. I am in no hurry to experience that again, which isn't even fair to Caleb since he has done nothing to hurt me."

"You're afraid of being vulnerable," Rachel stated. "I understand."

"I know you do, which is why I haven't called you sooner," Kurt replied.

Rachel frowned. "I'm afraid I don't follow, Kurt."

"I kept pushing you about Quinn, but now here I am in the same situation," Kurt replied. "Well, not exactly the same. Yours was worse because _she_ was the one who hurt you. I just didn't get how you kept going back and forth about her so much. I just wanted you to make up your mind and it annoyed me that you couldn't."

"You never told me you found it annoying," Rachel commented with a huff.

"The point is, I get it now," Kurt continued. "What happened with Blaine was years ago, but meeting Caleb has just brought things back. Not my feelings for Blaine or anything ridiculous like that, but memories of what it was like after I found out he cheated on me. Lord knows I don't want to be alone anymore, but I never really thought what it would be like if I really fell in love with someone again."

A smile slowly spread across Rachel's face. "Did you just say you're in love?"

"Again, not the point," Kurt replied.

"Actually, I think that is part of the point," Rachel argued. "You love him and you're afraid he's going to hurt you. But I once had a friend ask me if I thought Quinn was going to hurt me. Not if I was just _afraid_ that she was going to, but if I truly thought she would. So, do you _think_ Caleb is going to hurt you?"

"I don't know," Kurt replied. "How can you ever really know?"

"You can't," Rachel answered. "Not really. You just have to try to trust the other person."

"So, does that mean you trust Quinn?" Kurt asked.

Rachel paused for a moment before quietly saying, "I do."

"Well, I guess if you can trust Quinn after everything, I should be able to find it in myself to trust Caleb," Kurt replied.

"Just give it a little time," Rachel advised. "He seems like a wonderful guy."

Kurt hummed. "I hope you're right."

"Don't you know I'm always right?" Rachel joked.

* * *

Rachel looked across the crowded room, locking eyes with Quinn for a moment before turning back to the man who had just introduced himself as Theo. She and Quinn had both been mingling for the past hour, and Rachel felt like they hadn't gotten a moment together since they arrived. She had been to Quinn's workplace once or twice, but tonight was different. Tonight she was attending their office party as Quinn's girlfriend and she was trying her best to make a good impression with everyone.

"So, Rachel, what do you do?" Theo asked.

"I am currently between projects," Rachel admitted.

"Actress?" Theo asked.

"Broadway," Rachel replied, smiling. "Until a few months ago, I was part of the cast of Always, but production shut down. I've been auditioning for other shows, but I have unfortunately been unable to find the show for me so far. I'm sure it's only a matter of time, though."

"Always?" Theo asked. "My husband and I saw that over the summer. It was a good show. We were sad to hear it was over; we were planning on taking a few friends to see it, but then it was gone."

"Thank you," Rachel replied. "I couldn't have asked for a better first show, and it was over far too soon. I just hope my next is show is as wonderful. Both in terms of quality and the work experience."

"You said it was your first show?" he asked.

Rachel smiled. "Yes. I joined the cast while I was in my final year at NYADA."

"NYADA? That's impressive," Theo replied. "They only accept a handful of people into their program each year."

"I was very fortunate to be accepted," Rachel said. "It has always been my dream to move to New York City and to star in a Broadway show, and NYADA was certainly a great stepping stone to that dream."

"I have a good friend who's an instructor over there," Theo said. "Karen Singler."

"Yes, she was one of my dance instructors," Rachel replied. "She was quite difficult since dancing had never been my strong suit, but she was a great instructor. I certainly learned a lot in her class and became a much better performer thanks to her. I wish every instructor there had been just as dedicated to their students. Not to say that most of them weren't, but there were a few who always embarrassed us a little too much under the guise of preparing us for the industry." Rachel shook her head and then smiled at him. "Personally, I think they just enjoyed it."

Theo laughed. "I've met a few people like that."

"Like what?" a man asked as he approached Theo and Rachel with Quinn by his side.

"Who get sadistic pleasure from embarrassing others," Theo answered as he put his arm around the man.

The man hummed. "Sounds like my mother."

"This is my husband, Edwin," Theo said, looking at Rachel while nodding to the man beside him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Rachel said, shaking his hand with a smile.

"Likewise," Edwin replied. "Your girlfriend and I were just discussing your stint on Broadway. She's clearly very proud of you."

Rachel ducked her head for a moment before glancing at Quinn. "Thank you. I'm proud of her, too."

"Okay, I think we've officially caused enough embarrassment," Theo said. "We'll let you two mingle. Or you can slip out the back and we'll pretend you stayed until the end of the party."

"So, who is that man?" Rachel asked as Theo and Edwin walked away.

"Those are two of the four owners," Quinn answered.

"Oh," Rachel furrowed her brows, "wow."

"Come with me," Quinn said, grabbing Rachel's hand.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked.

"Just over here," Quinn answered as she pulled Rachel into a hallway.

"Why are we—"

Rachel's question was cut off when Quinn pushed her against the wall and crashed their lips together. Rachel moaned into the kiss and her hand made their way into Quinn's hair, pulling her closer.

"I don't think this is the best time," Rachel said with no real conviction in her voice when Quinn began kissing her neck. "Or the best place, really."

"Sorry," Quinn mumbled, not sounding at all sorry. "I just felt like I hadn't seen you all evening."

"I know the feeling," Rachel replied, her breath hitching.

"In here," Quinn said, pulling her toward the nearest door.

"This is familiar," Rachel commented with a smile when she looked around and saw they were standing in a bathroom.

"I thought it may be," Quinn replied as she brought their lips together once more.

* * *

"You know, I kind of like your apartment," Rachel remarked as she and Quinn laid on the blonde's couch.

"Better than yours?" Quinn asked.

"I don't know," Rachel replied. "Yes and no, I guess. I like the layout better and the floors are nicer, but I think my apartment is a little bigger. Plus, you landlord does allow pets and mine does not."

"Is there a reason you're thinking about this?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shrugged. "I was just thinking. You know—about things."

"About moving in?" Quinn asked.

"It has been on my mind, yes," Rachel replied. "I still haven't made a decision yet, but I've been thinking about it." Rachel lifted her head to look at Quinn. "I'm sorry."

Quinn frowned. "For?"

"For taking so long to decide," Rachel answered. "For not being able to just tell you yes. For overthinking and over-complicating everything."

"Well, you should be sorry," Quinn said, a smile slowly making its way across her face.

"I mean it," Rachel replied.

"You don't need to be sorry," Quinn said, shaking her head. "I've told you that before."

"And you'll probably have to tell me again," Rachel replied, laying her head back down on Quinn's chest.

"I'll tell you as many times as you need me to," Quinn said, running her hand up and down Rachel's arm. "You're allowed to be unsure of things and you don't need to feel bad about it. I know it's hard; it's not like everything has been easy for me. We've both had to get over a lot of stuff. You've just always been more expressive about things than I am. That doesn't mean I don't worry or don't think about things just as much as you."

"You worry?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah," Quinn replied. "I worry you'll decide this is all too much for you. That you'll never forgive me for what happened to us in high school. But I'm not going to let that stop me from living my life now. Because if we do that then things really will fall apart."

Rachel sighed. "You're right. Unfortunately, I no longer know how to not worry about these things."

"How about no worrying for just tonight?" Quinn said.

Rachel laughed. "Okay. I think I can do that."

"Good," Quinn said, kissing Rachel's forehead. "Because you've been worrying so much lately, and I'm pretty sure it's my fault. I shouldn't have sprung it on you. You know, asking you to move in."

"I like that you asked me," Rachel replied. "I like that you see a future for us."

"That's good, because I see a very long future for us," Quinn said. "Marriage and kids and maybe a pet or two."

"Actually, I've been thinking about one of those things recently," Rachel remarked.

"Kids?" Quinn replied. "Because I don't know if we're quite ready for that."

Rachel laughed. "Pets. You brought up getting one together, and I told you I would think about."

"And?" Quinn asked.

"How does a cat sound?" Rachel asked. "They're less trouble than dogs; you don't have to walk them and they're not nearly as noisy so there's no chance that your neighbors are going to complain about barking. And since I've been thinking that if we do move in together, I think I would prefer to live here or even find a new place, so it wouldn't matter that my landlord doesn't allow pets. What do you think?"

"I think a cat sounds wonderful," Quinn replied, and Rachel could hear the smile in her voice.

"I was hoping you would say that," Rachel said. "I was afraid you would change your mind."

"Never," Quinn replied through a yawn. "If I don't go into the bedroom soon, I'm fairly certain I'm going to fall asleep right here."

"We wouldn't want that to happen," Rachel said, standing up, and then holding her hand out for Quinn. "As much as I like your couch, I don't think it would be good on either of our backs to spend the entire night on it."

"Does this mean you're staying over?" Quinn asked.

"I thought I would," Rachel replied. "Unless you have some objection."

"Oh, yes, a ton," Quinn said as she took Rachel's hand and began pulling her toward the bedroom while smiling over her shoulder.

* * *

A few seconds after hearing Quinn start the shower, Rachel rolled over and opened her eyes. She thought about going in and asking her girlfriend if she could join her, but then she looked at the time and knew Quinn would be late if she did. Because she knew there was no way they would be able to shower together without getting distracted by other things.

With a yawn, Rachel sat up and ran her hand through her hair. She was still tired—it felt like she had just gotten to sleep when Quinn's alarm went off—but she didn't want to become one of those people who slept in late just because she was unemployed. And while that was sometimes hard to do, she was determined not to get in bad habits. Which is why she kept reassuring herself that she would have another job before she knew it and she would be thankful she hadn't messed up her sleep schedule. Although, at times like this, she certainly wished she could crawl back into Quinn's bed, talk her girlfriend into staying home from work, and enjoy the day, just the two of them.

"Oh, you're up."

Rachel looked over at the sound of Quinn's voice. "Mmm, yes."

"I forgot something," Quinn said, coming over, and kissing Rachel before walking toward her dresser.

"Do you have time for breakfast?" Rachel asked. "I could make waffles or something."

Quinn shook her head. "Thanks, but I figured I would just grab some fruit. I snoozed the alarm a little too long this morning."

Rachel hummed. "We were up a little late."

"I'm not complaining," Quinn said with a slight smirk before she slipped back into the bathroom.

Rachel smiled to herself as she stood from the bed and walked over to Quinn's dresser to grab a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. When she turned around, she saw one of Quinn's Columbia University sweatshirts hanging on the closet door, and she picked it up, slipping it over her head.

"Hey, Rach!" Quinn called out.

"Yes?" Rachel asked, walking over to the bathroom, and popping her head in.

"Do you have any plans for lunch?" Quinn asked.

"No," Rachel answered as she walked in and leaned against the sink. "What do you have in mind?"

"I was hoping maybe you could meet us for lunch at that Mexican place around the corner from my office," Quinn said.

"Us?" Rachel inquired.

"A few of my coworkers are going to be there," Quinn replied. "I think you've met most of them before. I know you met James at the gallery opening and you talked to Cheryl the other day. I'm not sure if you've met Ian."

"Was he the one you said was always trying to set you up with his friends?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Quinn answered. "He's stopped that since we started dating again, though."

"Good," Rachel replied. "And yes, I would be happy to join you. What time should I be there?"

"We should be there around noon," Quinn said.

"I'll be there," Rachel replied.

She smiled as she walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind her. As she turned to walk out of the bedroom, though, Rachel noticed a familiar book sticking out from the rest of the books on Quinn's bookshelf. She easily recognized the familiar red and black cover, and she wondered if Quinn had recently been looking at the William McKinley High yearbook or if it had simply been moved while getting another book.

Rachel couldn't help picking it up and flipping through the pages. She had spent a lot of time looking at her own in the year or so after graduating until the pain became too much. Since then, Rachel had only picked it up a handful of times even though she had finally brought hers back from Lima while she and Quinn were there for Christmas.

For once, though, when Rachel looked through the pictures and saw Quinn, she didn't feel like there was a hole in her heart. She could actually think about the good times she and Quinn had shared rather than only thinking about all the bad things that happened after their breakup. And while it still hurt to think about how heartbroken she had been, she knew it was in the past and there was nothing that could be done about it. That was then and this was now. They had come a long way from their days at McKinley, and Rachel no longer felt so afraid that history was going to repeat itself.

Because even if she couldn't seem to say it out loud just yet, she loved Quinn, and she had no doubt that Quinn loved her back. And this time she wasn't going to let anything come between that.

* * *

Rachel looked at her phone, afraid that she was going to be late, but she saw that she was just in time.

She had gotten a call from a casting director that morning who had asked if she would be willing to meet for coffee. He had been a little vague on the phone, wanting to talk in person, and Rachel had agreed to take the meeting even though she couldn't remember auditioning for the man or ever even speaking to him. Thankfully, he had suggested meeting in a public place, so Rachel was inclined to believe his reason for meeting her was genuine. She had heard plenty of horror stories from her teachers at NYADA and from her previous cast mates, and she had vowed to never risk putting herself in that position.

She looked around when she entered the coffee shop, but she had no idea what the man looked like. She had a name—a Mr. Charles Reynolds—that she had promptly looked up, but none of the articles she had seen about the man contained a picture. And since he had only called two hours ago, she hadn't had a lot of time to research the man.

"Miss Berry!"

"Mr. Reynolds?" Rachel asked when the man, a short and slightly balding guy, came up to her with an extended hand.

"Please, call me Charles," he replied.

"Charles," Rachel said with a smile. "It's a pleasure meeting you."

"Sit, please," Charles said, motioning to one of the tables next to the window. "I've been hoping to talk to you for a while, but I thought I would wait until a few things fell into place before I contacted you."

"Fell into place?" Rachel asked.

"Right, of course," Charles said with a laugh. "I should probably start from the beginning, shouldn't I?"

"That may help," Rachel replied, giving him a wide smile.

"I'm casting a new musical, and I think you would be perfect for the lead role," Charles said. "Several of us saw your last show earlier this year, and when we were talking about casting, your name came up. Then, as fate would have it, we happened to go to karaoke a month and a half ago, and there you were. Everyone loved you; they thought you were amazing and couldn't stop talking about how perfect you would be."

"That's amazing!" Rachel replied in surprise.

"It's a musical set to the songs of Streisand—"

Charles continued talking and Rachel did her best to listen, but she was having a hard time focusing. A jukebox musical set to Barbra's songs? It was like a dream come true for her. And for the man to be talking about how she would be perfect for the lead role—well, Rachel almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was as if the role had been specifically tailored to her.

She had been auditioning for everything she could for the past three months and had come up completely empty. As optimistic as Rachel tried to be, it was hard with so much rejection. She had always believed she was born to be on Broadway, and she still believed it more than anything, but it wasn't easy. Like everyone else, she occasionally had her doubts even if she tried to push them out of her head.

"So, what do you say?" Charles asked.

"I say it sounds absolutely amazing!" Rachel replied, smiling widely. "It's exactly the type of show I have always dreamed of being a part of. Barbra has been my idol and inspiration from the moment my fathers first showed me Funny Girl when I was three years old!"

"So, I think it's safe to say that you're interested?" Charles asked with a knowing smile.

"I am very interested," Rachel replied.

"That's good, because we've talked and agreed you're it," Charles said. "We've auditioned others, but none of them were as good as you. We were just waiting for the financing to come through to get the green light, but it's all settled, and it's yours if you want it."

Rachel enthusiastically agreed, and the two talked for a while longer before Charles excused himself to go to another meeting. After he left the coffee shop, Rachel sat in stunned silence for several minutes before everything slowly sunk in and she pulled her phone out of her bag.

"Quinn!" Rachel said the moment her girlfriend answered the phone. "I have some great news!"

"What kind of great news?" Quinn asked.

"It's surprise," Rachel replied. "Will you come over for dinner?"

"How can I not when there's a great surprise involved?" Quinn asked.

Rachel smiled. "Great! So I'll see you around six?"

"Can we make it six-thirty?" Quinn asked. "I have to stay over a little."

"Of course," Rachel replied, unable to stop smiling. "I'll see you at six-thirty!"

* * *

**Sorry this took a while. I wrote over half of it very quickly and then I just stared at it for weeks, unable to finish it. But then I started working on I Didn't See You Coming and it finally broke through my writer's block. I hope to have the final chapter up in a few weeks, but I can't guarantee it will happen since my brain doesn't always cooperate with me.**


	41. Always

**In case you've lost track, this is the final chapter.**

**Enjoy...**

* * *

**Chapter 41 – Always**

Rachel smiled the moment she heard the knock on her door. She quickly walked over and pulled the door open, her smile only growing when she saw her girlfriend on the other side.

"You're early," Rachel commented.

"Yeah," Quinn replied as she walked into the apartment and pulled off her hat, running her hand through her hair. "I managed to get everything done a little earlier than I thought."

"Well, I'm glad," Rachel said before leaning up and giving Quinn a kiss.

"So, what is this good news?" Quinn asked while she removed her scarf and coat.

"Well, I was going to wait and tell you over dinner, but—I got a job!" Rachel said, unable to contain her excitement.

"You did?" Quinn said, a smile immediately appearing on her face.

Rachel nodded, motioning for Quinn to go toward the kitchen. "It's so crazy how it happened but so perfect."

"Which show is for?" Quinn asked.

"Funny enough, it's for one I never auditioned for," Rachel said, walking over, and pouring them both a glass of wine. "The casting director for this new musical saw my show and had me in mind for the lead. And then he just happened to see me at that karaoke place back just before Christmas, and he thinks I'm perfect for the role, which I completely am, so he offered it to me!" Rachel let out a high pitched squeal of excitement and clapped her hands together. "And I haven't even told you the best part! It's a jukebox musical set to the songs of Barbra Streisand! There couldn't be a role more suited to me. They were just waiting on the funding to come through, and he called me the moment they had the all clear!"

"And you checked this guy out?" Quinn asked.

"Of course!" Rachel replied. "It's the first thing I did after getting off the phone with you. I called a few of the people I know from NYADA, and one of them knew about the project. One of my teachers has even worked with Charles before and he had nothing but high praise for him. This is real, Quinn. This is my dream job and they want me for it. Be happy for me."

"I am happy for you," Quinn said, giving Rachel a smile. "I'm thrilled. I just wanted to be sure it was on the up and up. But, yes, this is amazing!"

"I'm glad you think so," Rachel replied. "I don't think I've been this excited in a long time."

"What did your fathers say?" Quinn asked. "And Kurt?"

"Oh, I haven't called them yet," Rachel said with a light shrug. "I'll probably call them later tonight, but I wanted you to be the first person I told."

"Really?" Quinn asked.

"Of course," Rachel replied, furrowing her brows. "Why wouldn't I? You've been there for me and supported me since the day I found out production for Always was going to be shutting down. You snuck into one of my auditions. And you flirted with a security guy to sneak into that audition! You've been amazing, Quinn. I think I would have gone crazy during these past few months if it wasn't for you."

"I didn't really do anything," Quinn said, shaking her head.

"You've done more than you know," Rachel replied. "You've been there for me the whole time, and I don't know if I've really thanked you for it. You never let me doubt myself. Anytime I did, you would always tell me how I was amazing and it was just a matter of time. So thank you. For supporting me and encouraging me and," Rachel lightly shook her head, "for everything."

"You don't need to thank me," Quinn said, setting her wine glass down, and walking around the island.

"Yes, I do," Rachel replied. "You've been great, Quinn. And I don't just mean about this. You've been patient even though I know I've been incredibly frustrating at times. Most people wouldn't have been so understanding or willing to wait, but you've been perfect. And I know you're going to say you're not perfect, but you are. Or at least you are to me."

Quinn let out a light sigh, and Rachel wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck. She knew Quinn wanted to argue, but she remained silent as she rested her hands on Rachel's waist.

"I mean it, Quinn," Rachel said. "Thank you. These past three months would have been much worse if you hadn't come back into my life."

"You're not the only one whose life would have been worse," Quinn replied. "So maybe I'm just here for entirely selfish reason. Maybe I'm just trying to be extra nice so you don't break up with me again."

"It's possible, but I doubt it," Rachel said, giving her a smile. I think you're doing it because you're a great girlfriend, not because you have ulterior motives of some kind."

Quinn hummed before leaning down and giving Rachel a slow kiss.

"I see you're not arguing," Rachel commented when Quinn pulled back.

"Is there any point?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head. "No. Because I know you, and I know you're not a selfish person. Even when we were in high school and I felt like you were being selfish, you were really just trying to survive. I understand that now. So, no, there is no point in arguing with me, because I know what you said is entirely false."

Rachel leaned up and kissed Quinn's cheek before removing her arms from around her girlfriend's neck and putting her hands on Quinn's shoulders.

"Okay, maybe you're right," Quinn softly said after a few moments.

"Of course; I'm always right," Rachel joked.

"I'll remind you that you said that the next time you're wrong," Quinn replied.

Rachel laughed lightly. "Since I haven't begun making dinner yet, would you rather go to a restaurant or stay here? I was planning on making lasagna, but we can go somewhere if you'd like."

"Why don't we stay in tonight?" Quinn replied with a soft smile.

* * *

"To Rachel's first starring role on Broadway," Stephanie said, holding up her wine class. "Congratulations, and I'm sure I speak for us all when I say we know you're going to be amazing in it."

"Hear, hear," Matt replied, lifting his glass up.

Rachel couldn't wipe the grin off her face as she and Quinn clinked their glasses with Matt and Stephanie's.

The entire evening had been a surprise. Rachel thought it was just going to be her and Quinn having a celebratory dinner out, but when she got there, Stephanie and her boyfriend, Matt, were at the restaurant as well. For a moment, Rachel thought it had just been a coincidence that they happened to be at the same place at the same time until Quinn told her she'd actually called them.

"I'm so glad you guys are here," Rachel said before taking a sip of wine and setting the glass down. "It's nice to have friends to celebrate with. When I learned I landed the role in Always, even though I was just going to be part of the ensemble, Kurt threw me a big party. Of course, I didn't know most of the people very well because he invited nearly everyone from our classes." Rachel smiled. "This is better. I would rather have a gathering of friends than a huge party of people who only care about free food and drinks."

"So, what did Kurt say when you told him?" Stephanie asked. "I imagine he was thrilled.

"He asked when it's opening because he wants to be there on opening night," Rachel said with a light laugh. "He was very happy, but it was nothing compared to my fathers' excitement. They're the ones who introduced me to Barbra, so they were beyond thrilled when I told them this morning."

"You waited until this morning?" Matt asked. "Didn't you find out yesterday?"

"Yes, but I wanted Quinn to be the first person I told, and then it was kind of late, so I just waited until today," Rachel said with a shrug.

"How sweet," Stephanie replied.

"Hush," Rachel said to her friend.

Stephanie laughed and then said, "I can't believe they just called you and offered you the role like that. Not to say that you don't deserve it or anything like that, but that just never happens. Now if only someone can call me out of the blue and offer me a job like that."

"I know," Rachel replied. "It was entirely unexpected. From talking to Charles this morning, though, I have the feeling he's the type who marches to the beat of his own drum. Which can be a good thing. He told me his ideas for the musical and it all sounds amazing."

"When are they going to begin casting for the rest of the show?" Stephanie asked.

"I believe he said they're going start looking next month," Rachel answered. "I'll certainly let you know when they're going to begin in case you would like to audition."

"You better," Stephanie said, smiling.

Rachel smiled back and then looked over at her girlfriend. "You're awfully quiet tonight, Quinn. Is everything okay?"

"Sorry," Quinn replied, shaking her head slightly, and looking down. "It's just been a long day."

"Does this have anything to do with you being mysteriously busy all day?" Rachel asked.

"Mysteriously busy, huh?" Stephanie replied.

"Yes," Rachel said. "Quinn was too busy to get lunch and then she was very evasive about why she couldn't go."

"I was not evasive," Quinn replied. "I just couldn't talk because I had some errands to run and a friend to pick up from the airport."

Rachel hummed. "What friend? Anyone I know?"

"Just someone from school," Quinn answered.

"I think she's concerned they're staying at your apartment and she's not getting any tonight," Stephanie remarked, raising her eyebrows as she looked between Rachel and Quinn.

Rachel rolled her eyes and then let out a huff. "That is not what I was thinking!"

"But now you are, right?" Stephanie said.

Rachel paused for a moment before mumbling, "Maybe."

"They're not staying with me," Quinn said.

"I'm sure your girlfriend is relieved to hear that," Stephanie replied.

"I would appreciate it if you would stop making comments about my sex life," Rachel said, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"Fine, but only because we're here in honor of you, and I'm sure Quinn will kill me if I make you angry," Stephanie said, glancing at Quinn with a slight grin.

"You're right; she probably would," Rachel agreed.

"She does look the type who could kill with just a look," Matt added. "I knew girls like that in high school. They always scared the crap out of me. Actually, they still do."

Quinn shook her head. "You know I'm sitting right here."

"We know," Rachel said, patting Quinn's hand. "You know, Quinn was actually far scarier back in high school. When she walked down the hallway, it was like watching the Red Sea part. No one wanted to get in her way. I'm pretty sure everyone was at least a little afraid of her."

"Even you?" Stephanie asked.

"Hardly," Quinn replied. "Rachel was always the one person who would never leave me alone. She was so frustrating. Especially since she was the one person I wanted to stay out of my life. But she was impossible to scare away like I could everyone else. No matter what I said to her, she was somehow always there."

"That's because I could see you were different than the other Cheerios even if you tried your best to hide it," Rachel said. "But it's not true that I wasn't afraid of you. I just didn't let it stop me."

"Then I guess it's a good thing you can be annoyingly persistent sometimes," Quinn replied with a smile.

"It is one of my better qualities, if I do say so myself," Rachel said, smiling back.

"You two are going to have to stop or you're going to make me sick before the food arrives," Stephanie replied.

"I believe the bathroom is in the back," Rachel said, causing Quinn and Matt to both laugh.

* * *

"Quinn, are you going to tell me why we're going up to the roof?" Rachel asked, pausing on the stairs, her hand gripping the handrail. "And I would still like to know why I'm blindfolded."

"You'll see it about five seconds," Quinn said from the step above her.

Rachel heard the door open, and a few moments later, she felt the cold air hit her face. She had no idea what Quinn could possibly be up to or why she had blindfolded her, but she was certainly curious to know why. And she was especially curious to know why in the world they were going to the roof.

"I believe it has been more than five seconds," Rachel noted.

"Okay, you can take it off," Quinn said.

"Surprise!" Rachel heard the moment she pulled the blindfold off.

Rachel jumped slightly and her jaw dropped as she looked around at so many of her friends. There were at least a few dozen people on the roof and it wasn't just her friends from New York.

"What is all of this?" Rachel asked as she tried to take everything in.

"Surprise," Quinn whispered.

"Are you going to give your best friend a hug or are you just going to stand there?" Kurt asked as he walked up to her.

"What are you doing here!?" Rachel asked, giving Kurt a hug.

"Well, Quinn asked me to come here tonight and she's very difficult to say no to," Kurt answered.

"Quinn?" Rachel said, turning to the blonde with a questioning look.

"Think of this like our second chance," Quinn replied, raising her eyebrow slightly before she began walking off.

Rachel frowned and opened her mouth to ask Quinn what she meant, but before she could say anything, she was being greeted by the others on the roof. As she said hi to everyone, she continued to keep an eye on Quinn as she walked across the rooftop and said something to the one person Rachel didn't recognize. A few moments later, though, music began playing from the speakers that were placed around the roof, and Rachel realized he must be a DJ of some kind.

"Kurt, what on Earth is going on?" Rachel asked.

"You'll see," Kurt replied, giving her a smirk.

"Just so you know, your girlfriend is crazy." Rachel turned around at the sound of the familiar voice just as Mercedes added, "And I still can't believe those words just came out of my mouth."

"Believe it," Kurt said. "These two are disgustingly in love."

"Hi, Rachel," Tina said with a smile when Rachel looked her way.

"Will one of you tell me what on Earth this is all about?" Rachel asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Mercedes said, motioning to the clear lights above them and the gardenias that adorned the rooftop. "It's the prom."

"Prom?" Rachel asked.

"Prom," Quinn repeated, coming up behind Rachel.

Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and led her toward the edge of the roof, where no one else was standing.

"What do you mean by prom?" Rachel asked, stopping, but remaining holding Quinn's hand.

"We never got to go to ours," Quinn stated. "At least not together. And I know it's something we both wish we could change, so this is me changing it. We may not be in high school anymore, but I figured it's never too late. So, I called some of our old classmates and some of your friends." Quinn shrugged before smiling at Rachel. "I hope you don't think this is too crazy."

Rachel shook her head, suddenly at a complete loss for words. "This is—" Rachel shook her head again. "I can't believe you did this, Quinn. This is amazing."

"Well, I had a little help," Quinn replied.

"Help?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah, me," Stephanie said from behind Rachel.

"You two were in on this and you didn't say anything?" Rachel asked.

"And spoil the surprise?" Stephanie asked back.

"You could have at least given me some hint that something was happening tonight," Rachel replied.

"I was sworn to secrecy," Stephanie said. "I don't want to be on her bad side. I think she finally stopped hating me."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I've never hated you."

"Maybe not, but you obviously didn't like me very much," Stephanie said. "Don't even deny it."

"Is that Brittany over there talking to Caleb?" Rachel asked, her eyes suddenly landing on the blonde at the opposite end of the roof.

Quinn sighed. "Yeah. She found out about it from Mercedes and called me, wanting to come."

"I think she's hoping she'll win prom queen this time," Kurt said as he walked up to the group with Tina.

"Santana isn't here, is she?" Rachel asked.

"God, I hope not," Kurt said.

"No, I'm not crazy enough to let her come," Quinn replied.

"Who's Santana?" Matt asked.

"Do we have some stories for you," Kurt said. "Which I will happily tell you. And as much as they're going to sound fake, I promise it's all true."

Rachel laughed and lightly shook her head as Kurt and Tina began telling Stephanie and Matt one of the more ridiculous Santana stories. After a moment, she looked at Quinn, which was watching her.

"I really can't believe you did all this," Rachel softly said.

"Because it's so crazy?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head again. "I'm just amazed how you continue to surprise me every day."

Quinn smiled. "Come on." Quinn reached out, entwining her fingers with Rachel's. "I'd like to dance with my girlfriend."

"I'd like that, too," Rachel replied, smiling softly back at Quinn.

* * *

"I still can't believe you're here," Rachel said as she slow danced on the rooftop with Kurt.

"You know what a sucker I am for big romantic gestures," Kurt replied. "How could I say no? Besides, it was for my best friend. The hard part was not telling you."

Rachel laughed. "I can imagine. We all know how difficult it is for you to keep a secret. This may be the first one you've ever been able to keep."

Kurt nodded in agreement and then paused his dancing for a moment. "I know I was skeptical of your relationship with Quinn in the beginning, but I just wanted to say that I was wrong. You two being together seemed so unlikely and I thought you would just end up getting hurt again, but now I think Quinn is kind of perfect for you. For what it's worth."

"Thank you, Kurt," Rachel said, hugging her best friend.

"Mind if we cut in?" Caleb asked.

"And which one of you am I dancing with?" Kurt asked back.

"Me," Caleb said, holding his hand out for his boyfriend.

"I suppose," Kurt replied.

Rachel laughed when Kurt and Caleb began dancing just as the song came to an end. "Well, that was the world's shortest dance."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at her and Rachel laughed again before wrapping her arms around the back of Quinn's neck.

"Are you having fun?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "This night has been perfect. I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough for giving me this evening."

Quinn shook her head. "I don't need you to thank me."

"Maybe you don't need me to thank you, but I'm still going to," Rachel replied. "But I also want you to know that you don't have to keep doing things like this. As much as I appreciate it, it really isn't necessary."

_My house, my house is yours  
__So you can take your coat off  
__And you can close the door  
__My love's not gonna run out  
__You've asked me this before  
__I'm gonna say the same thing  
__My heart, my heart is yours  
__You gotta learn to trust me_

"I'm not going anywhere, Quinn," Rachel continued when the blonde didn't respond. "Just like I know you're not. As much as I enjoy them, I don't need these grand gestures. You've more than made up for what happened all those years ago. You know I'm sorry that I blamed you for everything in the beginning. I hope you don't still hold some sort of guilt over it and that's why you've done this."

'_Cause I didn't say, only 'til the party ends  
__No I didn't say, only 'til the money's spent  
__No I didn't say, only while the music plays  
__Oh woah, oh woah, I said always  
__Oh woah, oh woah, I said always_

Quinn let out a light sigh. "I guess I'm just trying to make sure you know that I love you. Because I know you're still afraid and I don't want you to be. I hate that you are and I feel like it's my fault."

Rachel quickly shook her head. "It's not you, Quinn. You've been perfect, which is actually probably what has scared me. Our relationship ending was terrible enough the first time. It would be even worse if it were to happen again."

_You hide your heart away  
_'_Cause hearts just end up hurting  
__I am here to stay  
__Just wish you felt like you deserved it  
__Your eyes are on the floor  
__I wish you saw what I see  
__I'm forever yours  
__Darling, please believe me_

"But I'm not going anywhere," Quinn said.

"I know," Rachel replied. "It's just—I'm fairly certain it would destroy me if you were to be out of my life one day. Because I love you even more now and I already almost didn't make it the last time."

A smile slowly formed on Quinn's lips as what Rachel had said seemed to sink in.

"I love you, Quinn," Rachel repeated, knowing her girlfriend probably needed to hear the words again.

'_Cause I didn't say, only 'til the fun runs out  
__No I didn't say, only 'til this all falls down  
__No I didn't say, only if the sunshine stays  
__Oh woah, oh woah, I said always,  
__Always, always, always, always_

"I love you, too," Quinn said before pulling her in for a slow kiss.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it," Rachel said when Quinn pulled away and rested their foreheads together.

"I told you to take all the time you needed," Quinn replied.

_What else can I say to convince you?  
__I'm not gonna leave you  
__Oh, I'm here to stay!_

"I also wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about your offer," Rachel said. "And I think we should begin looking for a new apartment."

"What?" Quinn asked.

"For us to live together," Rachel answered. "I want something that feels like it's _ours_."

"You're saying you want to move in together?" Quinn said.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying," Rachel replied with a nod.

_Come on, take my hand  
__Rest your head upon my shoulder  
__I will help you stand  
__Please just let me help you_

"Are you sure?" Quinn asked.

"Positive," Rachel answered. "I was going to tell you tonight over dinner, but then I thought I would wait until we were alone." She glanced around at her friends, who were scattered all along the rooftop. "And I have a feeling this is as alone as we're going to be tonight. Not that I'm complaining. It's nice having so many friends around."

Quinn hummed. "Yeah. It is."

'_Cause I didn't say, only 'til the night time comes  
__No I didn't say, only while we're both still young  
__No I didn't say, only while the music plays  
__I said always  
__Oh woah, oh woah, I said always_

"You know, I'm really glad I decided to go to the reunion," Rachel said, smiling softly at Quinn as the song faded out.

"That makes two of us," Quinn replied, smiling back.

* * *

**First off, the song used at the end was Always by The Veronicas.**

**I would like to thank everyone for reading and being (mostly) patient with me. It sucks having writer's block and it's even worse when you know people are out there waiting. As usual, I'm both happy and sad to have a story complete. Because I'm glad I could finally get the ending out there and share it with all of you, but I'm really going to miss writing this one.**

**Thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews. Hopefully I'll see you guys on another story one day.**


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